THE FORUMS

May 24th, 2017
do it again 2010
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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2301

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPSzAz_ZQIA

got a job interview next week if i want it for delivering packages for fedex for a month or two. pretty excited about it.  could be a good little opportunity for some experience and most importantly....moneyyyy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHI6S-mxIqA
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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2301

finally got back to work today. also read some of my book.

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 3RD 2012

here i sit in my warm ass room in my apartment. noone around. jersey in chaos over power and gas all around me. here i sit. warm and comfortable. i got back to work today an it felt amazing. short shift but it got me back into work mode. tomorrow im there all day looking to make about 60 cash which would but me at 85 for the weekend while spending 0. not bad. monday-wednesday i have work too...PROBABLY. maybe not all three days...depends on power.

so this is the start of laying low time. summer is now WELL over, even fall is starting to turn slightly into winter now. going out has now gone from the back seat to the trunk at this point in time. a few months from now i willl be a motherfucking boss though. i know it. plenty of opportunity around me and in front of me.


anyway. so tonight im chillen. saturday night. sigh. ah well. at least i have hbo and this book im reading. gotta save up some money nigga. i got billz to pay! hopefully i work my ass off next week
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nestea

nestea

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big day today. lots and lots to get done and do and yada yada bullshit.


its 4:08 in the morning and i cant sleep. so much to do today but not all that much. not really sure what the days going to end up looking like. i may post throughout the day we'll see....
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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2301

i think im finally on the right trackgood things lie ahead. pumped. big week ahead of me. lets continue to execute.

sko
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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2301

de-stressing your life. fucking do it. ive been trying to. its been working but damn it takes a while.  recently my life has been awesome and i attribute it to not going out. its been hard to stick to...like really hard. i went out for a bit yesterday and fucked up my whole night. i didnt work at all. i woke up this morning kinda pissed but overall OK with it. never taking xanex ever again. ever. its fucking pointless. and it cost me about 90 dollars in work. nonetheless, i can make about 100 tonight and spend 5-10 on food and coffee to get me through the night and early morning. then im on the work schedule friday saturday and sunday. fo the first time in my life i can say i love work. valeting anyay. my other job kinda sucks but i cant ask for anything better right now, its a great job, just kind of shitty at times. lke when im up on a roof at 2am getting wet from the powerwasher, gettting shit in my eyes sometimes, its freezing out. but i mean whatver ill just harden the fuck up. now that i think of it, last night was not so bad. but it was a waste of time for sure. nonetheless, its in the past. i actually just remember what i did lol. i passed out on my floor at my house.


anyway back to life being good.

life is good. finances are on track right now. hopefully i wont let it slip away again like i always seem to do. maybe this time i can just keep building on what i have. i fucked up last night but whatever. by monday ill be in really good shape. yayy. gunna be  an interesting weekend. thank god i dont have to go far. at all. having work 5 blocks away is so fucking awesome. it really is.

so thats it for now. maybe more later.
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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2301

k im back


anyway ive been really sharp lately. im on a roll. gotta keep it moving. gotta gotta gotta. still lots of owrk to be done. good it gives me somthing to do. to work for. to strive for. to look forward too. i have a lot of bing plans. i want to make them a reality. why not?

this weekend comming up is big. i need to not go out. i really need to chill reguardless of weather i stay at work or not. i have more then enough mj to kill the time im not working.  it will make my urge to go out even bigger and ill go ever harder when i do go out for real. last night i was out for an hour so it dosent really count. i needed to eat dinner.

so yea the next 4 days are pretty important. need to chill. \


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nestea

nestea

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THANKSGIVING DAY 2012

went out last night. terrible. didnt even want to be out.

today. worked and made money. chillen hard for the rest of the night. going out again tomorrow which should be a really good time.

tonight im chilen hard for a while. gotta get some things put together in my brain. gotta prepare myself for the rest of the week and weekend.



not much to talk about right now. just kind of moving along here working hard making money. its cold out :(

me no go out and have fun. boooo

tomorrow night should be pretty fun though. pretty pumped for it.

feeling really good lately. partly cuz i have monay. partly cuz i just feel good. next summer is gunna be insane.
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nestea

nestea

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i have a lot to be thankful for. too much to start naming. i need to clean up my shit tomorrow. tomorrow is a big day.

so yea not a whole lot going on besides work just trying to de stress my life and keep moving forward. wait out winter. chill hard. and next summer unleash my self. it will be amazing i can see it already. but i have a lot of shit to go through between now and then i feel. sokay tho.


anywya ive been thinking about girls a lot lately. i want one. the fire is building back up. i think a new one is comming soon i can kind of feel it.
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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2301

saturday 11.24.12
in the midst of the "holiday spirit" time here in america. except mine is missing.

last night was a total crash and burn for me. left my buddys party early as fuck. came home and went to sleep. had been looking forward to this night for a while. it was anything but great. you know....i know what i have to do to be great. but i cant do it consistantly. which leads to fucked up weeks like this was. i mean, thank god i was at least working and making money, cause i completly fucked up on the social end of my life this week. absolute dogshit. rock bottom. work was about the only thing right i did this week, and i didnt even do my one job all that well. nonetheless i think i got away with it. i got away with a lot this week. just a shit fucking week. i fucked myself though. and to be honest i think it all started with the night where i took that xanex pill or whatever it is. actually no. but that was a shit night oo. november sucks. my tan is gone, ive been smoking too much weed. my social momentium is shot. blah

from now on. im doing things the right way. im sticking to what i know and do best. im not being a fuckup scumbag anymore and trying to hide it. it wont take me long to shed this, but it will take a few days. hell probably a solid month. i need to get my shit together and in order, health wise, stuff wise, attitude wise, cothes wise. theres no more excuses for failure. there no more excuses for having a bad night. a few weeks ago i was going out and pimping hard without even trying, this week i can just feel the universe fighting against me. its been fighting me since day 1 of 2012. ive managed to tame is very wel but it continues to follow me around.  i mean from day fucking 1 this year had just been fighting me. everything.



i feel bad for leaving last night but it had to be done. idk what the hell is wrong with me this week. im out of my mind. too much rsd i think. im gunna chill on the self development for a while methinks. i think i overloaded my brain lately with information. not enough love. for myself or others. ive mapped out what i need to do in this very journal. how to be the best possible human.. its all here somewhere. through the years ive learned so fucking much its insane. i was lucky enough to capture  just about all of it in this very journal. its not hard, but maintaining it is hard. staying on the path every day at every minute. every action has a reaction. physics. momentium. it all plays a part. tylers is right when he says there is a right way and a wrong way to do things. and when we choose the wrong way we know exactly what were doing. and we pay for it.

like, smoking weed before i go out, is not good for me. however i did it yesterday and boom im home before my fucking parents.  on a side note the 2 available single girls that were there were both into me. even tho i was in a horrible mood and just wasnt with it. wasnt sharp. i know i can get almost any girl i want. i just keep shooting myself int eh foot before i even get out of the house! lol. i mean i dont like go really go out during the cold months but thats not an excuse. i just need to make a few tweaks and adjustments and ill be fine in no time. the only thing that will take time is my money situation which is actually stable right now. i just gotta take a few more weeks off from my social life for the most part.



anyway this journal ends when this year is over. anything more will just be menta masturbation. an excuse to post here. etc. the journal needs to die. but some of the shit i have written  in here is priceless. both to me and other people. but it was to help me get my life on track. now that it pretty much is. i need to let this go so that i can grow.  my life needs to change again. i need to get away from the pickup a bit. even tho i will never stop pimping the ladies lmao. no butseriosuly i love certain girls. i just need to start loving myself and trusting myself. i need to live the way that i know is best at all times for me. i can see it and taste it. im getting back to my old relaxed ways but im not there yet.

i have a very bright future. i need to stop limiting myself from myself. thank god ive been keeping this journa for the past few years. ike honestly, thak fucking god. idk where i would be right now without this. i will likey stop posting in it soon. but i will probably come back to it from time to time. i have a lot of great shit in here. im tearing up as i write this. im going to miss it but i dont need it anymore. this thing has ment the world to me. so im fucking gratefu to have the privelage to write down my weird little story. for me to use and for others to learn from as well perhaps. its enhanced my writing skills. its given me peice of mind. its given me priceless lessons. the best and worst memories. whateva

no more excuses. play like a champ. be a champ. be a boss. dont be weak. dont be a fuckup. work hard play hard chill hard. do it live.
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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2301

a few years ago i thought i needed therapy. now just need some therapy from myself. aka some sobriety. iits time. i dont have to be stone cold sober all the time but overall im much sharper when im clean and sober. not gunna lie ive been ina  funk lately. but i think its just growing pains. i can deal with it. i have a bright bright future. i just need to do what i know i can do. i need to take care of my cat. i need to continue to work hard. pay off my shit and move the fuck on. its time now.
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