THE FORUMS

March 26th, 2017
do it again 2010
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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2300

 JULY 5TH 2012.

yesterday was iight. saw a few peeps i havent seen in a while. thats always good. met some new peeps, thats always good too.  got a backrub from sexy19 year old. that was sweet. this other pretty hot girl i hooked up with a few times had me feel her up. pretty sweet as well. no closes tho. and my buddy  wants to hook up with 19 year old so since he did all the work of meeting her ill let him have her. for now. i got the backrub tho hehehe. my bod she had an amazing body. lots of other factors too but overall her and her friend were cewl. i wanna fuck her so baddddddddd. but i realized that i like darker women. tan and whatnot. even latina, mexican, dominican etc. these girls will be my targets from now on. green eyes too. fuck me man this girl is soHOTTT. but her face is a 7. oh welll i would still smother ittttt. fack. gotta keep pushing and keep that testosterone. gotta gotta gatta keep that fucking testosterone. so important.  so hard to keep tho. thats what tyler says about success. its always motherfucking FLEETING. goin, leaving, trying to bounce, irish exiting. all that.i mean i know what i have to do to be successful, happy and energetic. i just dont do it.why? i dunno. but its changing, i can feel it. i know it for sure. i find enjoyment in most things these days. im ready for awesomeness. just gotta let it go. 

today im going hiking for a bit. should be a nice relaxing day. i will then come home and take a nap before work at 11pm. im back with hoodz, at least for tonight. cool. i need this job. it keeps me balanced with the brownstone and shit. its huge. i need to be better and i will be starting tonight. then im at the brownstone all weekend obtaining cashola. chicka yea yea. oh yeah and monday i have off. not bad sir, not bad. especally after having yesterday and today off. gotta keep my head right and fucking work. next 3.5 days are huge. work, sleep and chill. thats aboot it. maybe some going out peppered in but for now im focused on earning some money.
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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2300

 gunna bang this one out real quick

this entry, not a girl



so the little one is now a distant memory. such a tragedy. but shes been replaced by a girl with a job and a car. MAYBE even cuter too, but her tits arent as big. ah well. i met this one two days ago. we made out pretty hard last night. twas good shit. shes mad chill. cant wait to see how this plays out. shes could be a keepa. sick party last night too. had an awesome time and it was a sick house. couldnt of been better. also met another girl who i saw last night but that ones gunna be a little more difficult to close. we'll see what happens with her as well. both girls are over 18 but younger then 21. this is my time. 

part 2 later
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nestea

nestea

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 jeez where to start. 4th of july week is over. we're in the midst of summer now. life is good. the question is for how long. 



crazy week. had a lot of fun. i found ronald the dinosaur, i hooked up with 1 almost 2 sexy little girls. and by little i mean 19 and 20. its just that their shorter then me. id give the 19 year old a 9 and the 20 year old an 8. both girls are tan and just plain gorgous. wow thats so weird tosee in wiritng. 5 years ago these girls are lightyears away from my level. thats simply not the case anymore. these girls like me. they  wanna get downnn nigggaaa. nonetheless, girls are a distraction. i need to stay diciplined here. no.bullshit. the 19 year year old ill call her car. ill call the 20 year old cait.

lol im like naming them

well anyway car i might not see again for a while. didnt get her nunber, didnt even try. next time i see her its on tho. the cait story is a but more interesting. ill possibly go into it at a later date. but it was indirect and funny/cool. exactly how i got started with sarah. OHSHIT. almost the exact same way too. hahhaah fucking weird. 

anyway it was a damn good week. now its fucking over. a laid back week awaits me. cya in 10 days
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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2300

 was reading some old posts and journal articles today. made me realize how far i have come. crazy. and back then i thought i had come far and i was almost where i needed to be mentally and physically. ha what a joke.

ive hooked up with 4 girls this year. all 4 i will liekly not see again either. i didnt even really do anything wrong! i really didnt. i guess the science just wasnt there. i dunno. fucking crazy tho. fucking insane. 5 years from now when im pulling 3 ways and leaving girls in the dust ill be like ok when i was 24 that shit was chode. hahaha. or maybe that willnever happen.nonetheless, to me right now, this shit is cray. ive gone thru so many girls in the past few years its fucking halarious but kind of tragic at the same time ya know?! where did it all go and how did i even get there? looking back it almost makes me a bit sad but i woudlnt change anything. not a god damn thing becasue i know theres better girls out there. im still very young and im really just now starting to come into my own. even 2 years ago when i was "wet behind the ears" at this shit and i thought i was the man....still had much to learn. STILL have much to learn. nonetheless i have a general direction of where i want to go now. im much more in shape, and healthy. i have a wardrobe that i now love, i have my own place and car, 2 jobs and some really great friends. just gotta continue to stay patient.

and yea it was only 4 days lol

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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2300

simplify your life.

make money
dont be a pissy
relax
do it live
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nestea

nestea

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 "why do we forget that we are awesome"

gotta pay attention to the little things cuz that shit adds up

monday july 16th 2012.

chillen hard all day. just ordered a new keyboard haha. 

thats all i feel like writing today
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nestea

nestea

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so im sitting here in my dark room in  my apartment in jersey cooking up some fewd getting ready for a boring and quiet friday night by myself. yippie dee de. i fucked up my eye at work thursday, luckily workers comp will take care of money and i wont really lose any hours at work. i got mad fucking lucky and it def. put a few things in perspective.

kind of unrelated but i feel like ive lost friends lately. not really lost but it just feels like i dont have as many friends as i did a few years ago, although  ive made a few new ones....but not all that many.  are people jelous that im living pretty much on my own and starting to make my way in the world where most of my friends are still living at home? are they just sick of my crazyness or maybe some of the insecurities ive had lately? i have no idea man. maybe this whole thing is just bullshit, but whenu call people and they dont answer you, you tend to get a little aggrivated and confused. not even a text back? jeez man. well anyway if thats the way it is then thats the way it is i guess. i think im just being a little crazy though. i need to just relax. most of all i need to get my fucking money right. i think tats where ALL my problems are steming from. fack.


my money problems are holding me back so baddly ts not even fucking funny. yet i ve enough to get by. i dont want to live like that though casue its fucking rearted, stressful, unstable, and just plain dumb. now if i moved out of my place and just lived at home i would be out of debt in a minute but i chose to start paying rent and live very tightly for a reason. its amazing to have my own place right near work, it makes me feel fucking awesome, especally when i look at all my friends that live at home.



i think i just need to relax and chill the fuck out though. like, stop going out/stop drinking. but its summer. this is prime going out time and i do not want to waste it. you know, its like i said when i moved in here, you only live fucking once. take shit day by day because you never know when things can change. u never never know. yet at the same time u wanna prepare somewhat and set your life up. make shit awesome. it takes some planning. i feel like the farther plans in the future are, the more easily shit it can be delayed, tampered with or just complelty fucked atogether. shit is just so unstable these days it seems like. like nothing is ever really going to happen until it hapens. and even when it happens it dosent go according to some "plan" it just goes. noone knows whats going to happen. people can assume but they will never know till after the fact. i dont even know what im talking about anymore.

lets talk about the rest of th month of july. what was i doing last year at this time compared to what im going to be doing this time around.


holy shit i made my 13 steps AND met my first girlfriend at this time last year, dayum. thats crazy. compared to right now thats like a fucking fantasy land that once was. crazy, i was doing so well, and this year i am too but a certain type of doing well. i mean at the moment im not doing well at all but overall ive been good. its been a very up and down year though last year was awesome right from the begenning, but this year ha been up and down as fuck lol.and im talking about some pretty low lows, like where the fuck did these come from.


anyway this weekend i think im just going to work or sit in my apartment and write. ill go home monday after work perhaps. im finding it very hard to be i te moment these days and i think i need to get more shit out of my head. so this weekend i will nurse my eye injury, take a break from going out and spend sometime with myself and my family. awwwwwwwwwwww. but mostly myself lol fuck yeah,.


i think for the next 4 days i will just not call anyone, try to do anything, or try to go out. whatever comes to me is great, but if nothing comes its totally fine. im going to let my eye reover which is the right thing to do. chill with the going out for a minute kiddddd.

so the next 4 days very important i stick to the plan. work, smoke weed and chill. thats fucking it. thats all i will be doing i cannt go out and risk fucking up my eye. no way. i have no girls in my life so there is literally no fucking excuse to have to leave the houe other then work. i need to seriosuly just not do a god dan thing,. its so hard for me to stay in too. i mean tonight i went out with my fucked up eye and everything lmao. im fucking dedicated yo. but at the same time i felt like shit and just needed to be out. only reason i went out was to get some plants. heheh. but yeah i actually had a legit conversation with a bro. good shit. ill fucking take that into the 4 day hiatus. this includes my favirote night of the week. saturday night. fucking ouch. honeslty if there is a good time to actually pullthis of its now because a lot of my friends are dicking around. and i have some good shit coming up soon. nonetheless this is a great time to do this. nothing is really going on in my life right now except working and trying to pay rent and get caught up in my finances. would i say that is an accurate statement? yes i would.  ive kind of wanted to do this for a while but i was on such a good momentium swing for a while i didnt wanna fuck it up. now we're in the dog days of summa. its not like i dont have friends or plans but it just feels way slower then its been in a while. ike unnaturally slow. idk ppl are just busy i guess. or poor. mayb their as poor as me who knows.

what i do know is that its going to be a weird 4 days. im sure ill be out here and there but for the most part ill be chillen like a villin. for real. no bars and minor drinking.



3 days of chill mode begins now. punching in....


saturday july21st.

in a way ill be breaking a new comfort zone by not going out. it will be hard, i will want to get the fuck out, but i must resist temptation. i gotta make sure i can pay rent for august and get my car bill paid. priorities.


i really just got to eliminate throwing money away. ive been doing a really good job but there is still room for improvement.


im making this all part of one post because its one ongoing thought for the most part. im in a decent mood today considering my life lol. fuck i dont even really wanna disect it any more. i know what needs to be done do continue to improve my shit. thats all for today

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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2300

so ive decied to move back homef month. my room will be waiting for me in 31 days i believe, i gotta hammer out the details with my roommates tonight and make sure its cool. i dont wanna do it but i believe it will be good it will give me  chance to pay off some bullshit i have. i think this is a very smart move considering work by here is slow, and this is primarily(sp) what i got my place form to be close to work. but since their slow this time of year i decided to save some money and move back home for a month. this is a tough but smart move. my ego dosent want me to move out but it must be done. i shoudnt even say must but i think this will give me a big boost in mmy fnances. i mean honeslty i dont NEED to be here. and now i dont have to worry about being kicked out of my house which i did fear for a bit. .understandable tho.

no work in august means i dont really need to be here. might as well save money. ITS A MONTH MAN RELAX, haha. yeah its really not a big deal now that i really think about it. september is gunna be a sick month. i can feel it. just gotta chill in august. meditate month. gotta get into it. ive been saying i am but i havent done it. i need to tho. perfect time to start.

im like a little red and blue tornado with a backwards baseball hat on motherfucker.

im starting to that life is just one big paradox

dont ask

anyway back to real life.





my eye is healing up but it has a ways to go. anyway i went out last night to see batman, i know i said i wasnt gunna go out for 3 days but u can see how hard that is for me hahaha. gotta love it.

my thoughs are all over the place today.

im in a good mood right now i guess. too bad my eye is kinda messed up. nonetheless i dont think i should be out for a few days. even though i went out last night, it was only the movies. even tho i did say 3 days. so ill start the three days tonight cuz i mean i feel like i have to go out on a saturday night. its just something i do, and i cant stand not doing it. its saturday night man, gotta go out. its a way of life.

nonetheless im staying in for the next 3 days. im checkin back in.  more to come later
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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2300

few changes coming my way. what else is new haha.

DIET:
cutting frozen foods. they suck, make me feel like poop, makes my poop weird, and overall just dosent satisfy me. fuck frozen shit

gunna be doing a lot more running in coming weeks. this will be great cuz i get paid to do it.

cutting back on the mary jane for the month of august. also i no longer smoke cigerettes. just the electronic ones now. much better for you..

MONEY:

not paying rent in august so im gunna use the money to get these pesky credit card bills paid off once and for all. i aim to be out of debt by my 25th birthday.arley eve

by the time july is over i will have made just about 1500 dollars, and barely even worked this month. fuckin crazy. that means in the next few mon ths i willl be making some pretty sick money. cant fucking wait

need to keep staying patient, as hard as it can be.

GIRLS;

nothing doing. and i aim to keep it that way for a little while longer. im not pursuing any girls, theres no girls "on the block", theres no prospects or anything pending. im straight up single and im not even looking for right now. if it comes my way easily ill probably take it but that rarely happens. for now i will enjoy the calmness and non drama of my life right now.



so its the last friday in july...


just came home from the eye doctor. overall everything is ok. he said i was "a lucky man" to which i responded with a bit of a laugh and a nod. hes right. i am fucking lucky. i continue to be lucky in these weird ass ways. im not lucky with money or girls but im lucky with the important shit. the real important shit. money is important but not as important as good health...or in this case, vision.

bit of a crazy week behind me. did not work much at all. infact i had 1 shift at work the entire week. 1 fucking shift. i still managed to hold it together, not spend all that much money, have a good time, and get some shit done. in a way i needed the time and i was very grateful for it, but it would of been nice to work at least 1 or 2 more shifts. nonetheless, i have 3 shifts comming up this weekend, and 2 out of 3 of them are cash, so word up to thAT looking at about 200 bucks this weekend. next week will be another week of hiking and chillen. this time i wont be getting fucked up though. just pure health. we'll see if i can actually stick to this. hopefully i will be working a bit more. not sure yet though.

again. gotta stay patient. the money and girls will come eventually. for now i just gotta fucking relax a bit. pay off these pesky credit cards. and take a huge step forward.
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nestea

nestea

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Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 2300

went out tonight with redhead. took a while to get a good convo going but we got it going. i wanna fck her but at the same time im not really into it. but i think it would be awesome. nonetheless i have a drama free life and i would like to keep it that way untill i get my plastic money paid off. one stress at a time lolll. i need to fix myself a bi more before i get to deep into anything, i can feel awesomeness, i know i havve it in me, but i need to get my shit together first.
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