THE FORUMS

lol wut?


WEDNESDAY JUNE 6TH 2012:

1 or 2 girls currently on "the block" as i like to call it. havent really talked to them lately but i have good feelings that i might be hooking up with at least one of them eventually this summer. other then that tho im free. im not "with" anyone right now.  i dont have to worry about a bitch fucking around behind my back, making time for her, going out, etc. its just me. i have money now. i have 2 good jobs. i have a nice working car, i have my own place. shit is good, yet kind of boring!!! haha. i am never bored either. today tho, i am bored. weird. ill take this boredom for now tho. much better to be bored then to be stressin about girls and bills. this is a first for me where i have no stress about bills or girls, and its only taken me.....almost 10 years. jesus christ. im not out of the woods yet eith money but im on the home stretch. by july i should be broken out of the chains for the most part. i still have to pay off my car but whatever. the thing about that is i can sell my car and pay it in full.even tho i wont, i could, so it dosent concern me. 

other then that. no complains. i want to get back into meditation, reading, and working out again. not yet but soon. also gotta get back to my regular diet which has taken the back seat a little bit lately. nonetheless im still on the right track with it, so thats a huge plus. 

 went out tonight to the 2 local bars here in my hometown with my buddy dean. pretty much a quiet night. felt attraction from a few girls but attraction means dick to me these days. a year or two ago id be excited and satsfied with having girls be attracted to me. these days its cool but it really does mean jack shit. i wasnt really in beastmode or anything and i was mostly lookin to just "chill". at the same time tho i wanna be hooking up with girls left and right. i know i can do it too which drives me nuts haha. 

gotta be willing to stick it out and hang all night tho which i just did not want to do tonight. im trying to save monies for the next few weeks. this is why i need to get my fucking shit paid off so i can stay out for the night without worrying. nonetheless, good shit is comming. i can feel it.

my current theory on women:


women are emotional creatures and emotion junkies as alexander of rsd has also stated. as a man, you are replaceable. it dosent matter how much money u have, how charming you are, how amazing you make her feel...your fucking replaceable. does that mean she can go out and get a better guy then you TONIGHT? probably not.  but my god u are on a short ass fucking string. its almost absurd. how many stories do u hear about hot girls texting and texting and texting a guy over and over again trying to get back with them, driving to their house or even wors,e the houe of someone u think their fooling around with?!.  fucking 1 out of 100000. and hes the short fat girl with glasses and not much to live for. like cone the fuck on. we are so fucking replaceable its not even funny. the fucking jerkoff sitting 3 stools down from you at the bar has almost as much chance as you have with any fucking given girl.  its mostly mental which also leads to be bit physical as wlel but nonetheless the face remains. girls with reationalize the fuck out of anyhing. its pretty insane to be honest. they are like all mamster reationalizers. i rationalize a shit load but i try to be as honest as i possily fucking can. anyway, i dont care who you are, you could be brad fucking pittts perfect fucking offspring, you you are still motherfucking replaceable.



now before u think its all pesemestic.

 looking back on the weekend is was a very werid one. but good weird.  crazy weird. i would do it again in a heartbeat. def. need a new keyboard. 

i just keep moving right along here. dont get caught up in the moments so much. everyday is a new day full of potential. gotta keep moving forward at this point.