THE FORUMS

 my not giving a fuck attitue contiues to reach epic levels. this weekend was kind of a disaster. i went 0-2 with the ladies, but oddly enough i was fucking pimping it all week and weekend. this week will definitly be different. im trying to just chill, relax, save/make some money. work, my new addiction. along with caffee

cant wait to get to work today. man...how often have i ever said that? here and there im sure. but today i just NEED to get to work. call is in exactly 1 hour. gunna miss the rangers game probably but thts ok. right now im watching back to the future part 3 on hbo. so nice to have commericaless tv. sooo nice. straght up chillen before work. luddat.

in other news,  have no grls on the block. MAYBE 1, but not really. kind of depressing not gunna lie. i miss the touch and skin of a beautiful woman. arg. thats really all im missing right now. but it can wat a few months tll i get my shit more together. id rather have it now tho lol. i love how last week was total pimp status and this week was the complete oppisate. u gotta hate that shit sometimes.

 worked my fucking dick off this week. the dog days are behind me. could be an epic weekend. has the potential to be, but we'll see what actually happens. im done with the little one. ive had enough. unless shes sends me a text saying lets fuck i am not answering or talking to her any longer. i will not be blabing english at her anymore. i dont play games. i never have and im not starting now. she blew it.  i gave her way to many chances anyway and she prettty much took advantage of me. kind of sucks but i wanted to get laid.

"how do u get better at sex? have more sex"-jeffy allen

thats what was going thru my mind so im not upset with myself. nonetheless im over and done with it. shes young and dumb and not gettig smarter anytime soon. so have fun bitch. hopefully she just forgets about me. she wont.

anyway im working on a new girl. it seems like when one is gone another one rises to the surface. its great but now its just getting annoying becasue they usually flake out as girls usually do. which brings me to my next topic. 

ive been kind of bitter towards girls lately. im really starting to look down on them. i dont give a fuck if its wrong right fair or unfair, this is how im choosing to look at things. im sick of bitches and their stupid shit. their so fucking dumb!!! someone reading this may think im an asshole, good. i am an asshole. fuck it. ive never been one before but now im starting to see it in myself. i love it and i dont care. darklight. fuck yew bitch.



monies:

im almost out of debt. this week was brutal but it was a crucial step in getting the fuck out of credit card ebt once and for all. once im done with this shit, my life will be lightyears better. i cant even imagine, I want to get out of it more then anything ever. its been dragging me down for YEARS, and im about a month away from breaking the fuck out of this monkeybusiness once and for all! seriosuly, once im out of ccd, look the fuck out werld.

realy starting to get my shit together here im starting to figure out what works an what doesnt work.  havent been smoking weed which really helpss socialy. really gotta keep that shit in moderation, i LOVE to smoke but cannot do it everyday if i want to have an awesome life. its definitly good for me to smoke here and there but i gotta stick to what i know, and that is too keep that shit in motherfuckin moderation!  got 2 new girls on the block. 1 i really have a chance with and the other i have no idea. im just gunna keep my cool and see what happens. being with girls costs money eiter way you look at it. weather ur driving to their house after work instead of going home and relaxing and being groggy for work in the am, weather its taking her out for an awesome night, or doing things with her so shit dosent get stale. yes there are nights u dont have to spend a dime and still be with her but that cannt and willnot be the norm. girls wanna do shit and so do i. im not mr. pay for everything but i am a generous person. theres nothing wrong with that either.

god im so fucking happy to be writing right now. i feel this journal has really helped my personal development.

anyway what else is going on. gunna be struggling to pay the rent at the end of the week but this should be the last time that s the case.  june has to be a huge month for me money wise, but after june i cant stop there. work hard till my birthday and take a week off? perhaps.

girls:

their so funny. im starting to get more and more mental leverage over them every day. like. i used to be scared and intimidated and gave a shit. now i couldnt really care less about them. they come and go, they really do. i dont even hook up with them half the time, their just shitty as friends sometimes. maybe im just unaware that there is always sexual tension? whatever. woudlnt want it any other way.

layin low tonight. saturday night in june and here i sit. haha. its alright though. i got work tomorrow and i want to be fresh. sort of blew off a girl tonight but not really. it will be fine. infact i think its the better move considering i already ignored anothr girl this week. weird week i gotta say. definitly wasnt pimping it. good day at work though, hopefully tomorrow will be just as good if not better.  might watch a movie soon. very rarely am i home on a saturday night, but tonight will be one of THOSE nights. ah well. this time last week i was having an awesome time dts so fuck it. this week i rest.