THE FORUMS

July 23rd, 2017
Is it pathetic that at 25 I'm still a virgin?
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#11
hamburgar

hamburgar

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/04/2009 | Posts: 116

Kal0051 wrote:
Nope, not very happy because I've honestly put to much effort and importance on improving how good I am with women. So my failures have been a disappointment. I've been trying for over a year so at this point I don't know what to do or what I'll do with myself if I put this stuff on the backburner. Even with concentrating on school / work, there is a lot of time where I'll be doing nothing and my thoughts will go back to women (even when I'm chilling with my friends my thoughts sometimes drift back to women).

But yeah, I've decided to not sleep with some disgusting chick just to lose my virginity. Honestly I'd probably be ashamed of myself afterwards, which won't help matters. So now it's time to figure out what I should change about myself first and how to accomplish that. Any thoughts guys?
I'd have to say you're awesome for this.  After I turned 18, I had sex with 3 gross chicks because I thought it was important to get laid or something.  After that  I dated a hottie (like 3 dates lol) and realized that I could get really hot girls interested in me regardless of being a fatass.   I spent 3 years not getting laid, while focusing on getting quality girls.  Just got my first one last week.  It's a long road but fuck it's awesome when you get somewhere.
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#12

Addictive

Junior Member

Join Date: 11/05/2009 | Posts: 20

Fair enough. However if you have the means, I agree fully with GOTHAM...

That first time is what you need.

But what should change about yourself? We can't give you a good answer to that... We don't know you in person.

Honestly, the one change that will fix it... get HAPPY. Find your PURPOSE.

What's something you're cool with spending your whole life to accomplish?

Don't worry about what you need to 'fix'.... You don't seem 'broken' to me. However, I have a friend who looks like a model, is interesting, cool, and even fun... yet he is a virgin still, and I don't see that changing for a while, if ever. It's because of his social skills, he is awkward around girls.

I think you have a deep fundemental fear, that is coming out in all of these rationalizations. FIND OUT WHAT THAT IS, then find out WHY you have it.

Here were some of my fears before getting laid:
Being alone.
Not being attractive to women.
Being secretly gay and having sex with a girl comfirming it.
Girls don't want sex.... with ME
Everyone hating me.
Never doing anything with my life.

After getting laid, I still have problems, but not the same. Finally, it was a girl(whom I didnt have sex with, and didn't even kiss) that helped me figure out what my problems boiled down to:
I was afraid of being forgotten and being 'average'

After I figured out  that main fear, I began to work on it. 1-2 months later, I did not 'fix it'... I just dealt with it. I realized that people can't forget me, cause I'm awesome. However, I still work every day towards my purpose in life, and no, I do not want to be forgotten, and my purpose ensure that for me.

What is your fear? Find it. Figure out why you have it. Write down all of your 'fears' until you notice a theme of them. That is your true fear.

And yes, you are good enough.
I am very skinny, yet I'm still 'fat'
I have no job.
I live with my parents, going back and forth between them.
I'm a college dropout.
I have no money.
I have no telephone.
I'm a recovering cleptomaniac.
I'm looking at facing the repurcussions of my cleptomania in court.
I have a thinning hair line.
I have acne on my face, and body.
I have massive acne scars on my chest, face, shoulds, and back.
I have a vehicle, but it's so shitty, you can't open one door from the outside, and you can't open the other door from the inside, and it's beat up and ugly.
I'm hairy.
I don't wear deoderant, and thus sometimes smell pretty fuckin bad.

BUT I HAVE THE FOLLOWING:
I AM HAPPY AS FUCK
I LOVE PEOPLE AND MEETING THEM
I KNOW MY PURPOSE AND PURSUE IT EACH AND EVERY DAY

And those three things have girls fighting for my attention, ignoring the normal 'players' of whatever area I happen to be to talk to me, girls driving 6+ hours to see me, taking money from their parents to see me, buying me food, and fucking me.

Man, if I can do it, I know you can, CHEER UP. Get happy!

And about the girl you lose your virginity to... The girl I lost my virginity to was a chubber, and she was worse than that... She was a chubber WHORE. Her vag was so fat that I wasn't sure I was in it. And yeah, I HAVE fucked girls that I regret, and that I say to myself  "Oh my god... I can't believe I fucked that girl"

My post may have been scattered, but I hope it helps
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#13

Kal0051

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/09/2009 | Posts: 581

Well I don't really have any fears like you described. But it does suck being alone, and that women don't want to have sex WITH ME. I'm not afraid of those things, sure they are unpleasent but it is what it is. I actually have a lot going for me, which makes it kind of bizare that I have so much difficulty with this stuff. Even girls think that, I was talking to this girl I know about a date I went on (where the girl didn't want to see me again) and the only thing she could come up with is that I did something wrong on the date. However I thought the date went well, but maybe I'm just clueless. I have a feeling it's gonna take me a long time to fix whatever shortcomings I have that are preventing me from moving forward. Though hopefully I'll figure it out before I'm 30.
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#14
Kirra

Kirra

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/01/2009 | Posts: 739

Kal0051 wrote:
Pretty straightforward question. I ask because honestly I don't know. I always thought it was and for the longest time I wanted to lose my virginity just to lose it. But my recent failures with women have shown me that there is something that's not quite right about me (not sure what it is, maybe a vibe I give off, poor social skills, not muscular enough). I'm planning on putting women on the backburner for now and just improving myself and living life. But should I just do whatever I can to lose my virginity first (because who knows how long it'll take to improve myself)? Even if that means sleeping with a fatty/ugly chick (something I've refused to do up to this point). I'm pretty good looking so I could probably get a low quality girl that has no options, but I don't really want to. But on the other hand would it be worth it to just have sex and not seem like such a loser? Kinda divided right now.
I thought that you were leaving and never coming back because you're such a hopeless case?
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#15
Mitizaro

Mitizaro

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/14/2009 | Posts: 1070

Addictive wrote:

And yes, you are good enough.
I am very skinny, yet I'm still 'fat'
I have no job.
I live with my parents, going back and forth between them.
I'm a college dropout.
I have no money.
I have no telephone.
I'm a recovering cleptomaniac.
I'm looking at facing the repurcussions of my cleptomania in court.
I have a thinning hair line.
I have acne on my face, and body.
I have massive acne scars on my chest, face, shoulds, and back.
I have a vehicle, but it's so shitty, you can't open one door from the outside, and you can't open the other door from the inside, and it's beat up and ugly.
I'm hairy.
I don't wear deoderant, and thus sometimes smell pretty fuckin bad.

BUT I HAVE THE FOLLOWING:
I AM HAPPY AS FUCK
I LOVE PEOPLE AND MEETING THEM
I KNOW MY PURPOSE AND PURSUE IT EACH AND EVERY DAY

Fuck yes, Mad respect.
This is how you live nigga!
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Good Luck. You might fail, but you might succeed. Let your cock out and let it swing. - By Jim Wendler, EFS, from Beyond 5/3/1
 
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#16

Kal0051

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/09/2009 | Posts: 581

Kirra wrote:

Kal0051 wrote:
Pretty straightforward question. I ask because honestly I don't know. I always thought it was and for the longest time I wanted to lose my virginity just to lose it. But my recent failures with women have shown me that there is something that's not quite right about me (not sure what it is, maybe a vibe I give off, poor social skills, not muscular enough). I'm planning on putting women on the backburner for now and just improving myself and living life. But should I just do whatever I can to lose my virginity first (because who knows how long it'll take to improve myself)? Even if that means sleeping with a fatty/ugly chick (something I've refused to do up to this point). I'm pretty good looking so I could probably get a low quality girl that has no options, but I don't really want to. But on the other hand would it be worth it to just have sex and not seem like such a loser? Kinda divided right now.
I thought that you were leaving and never coming back because you're such a hopeless case?
lol, well I may be a hopeless case. Time will tell I guess.
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#17
sabster

sabster

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/14/2008 | Posts: 995

everyone is a virgin before they became better with women. just take the initiative to make something change. put yourself out there! 
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"Fuck social conditioning and fuck what anybody thinks of you!" ~Tyler Durden
Rejection > Regret
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#18
Kirra

Kirra

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/01/2009 | Posts: 739

Kal0051 wrote:

Kirra wrote:

Kal0051 wrote:
Pretty straightforward question. I ask because honestly I don't know. I always thought it was and for the longest time I wanted to lose my virginity just to lose it. But my recent failures with women have shown me that there is something that's not quite right about me (not sure what it is, maybe a vibe I give off, poor social skills, not muscular enough). I'm planning on putting women on the backburner for now and just improving myself and living life. But should I just do whatever I can to lose my virginity first (because who knows how long it'll take to improve myself)? Even if that means sleeping with a fatty/ugly chick (something I've refused to do up to this point). I'm pretty good looking so I could probably get a low quality girl that has no options, but I don't really want to. But on the other hand would it be worth it to just have sex and not seem like such a loser? Kinda divided right now.
I thought that you were leaving and never coming back because you're such a hopeless case?
lol, well I may be a hopeless case. Time will tell I guess.
Dude, how many cold approaches have you done? Because you kinda sound like a guy who thinks about this stuff WAAAAY too much while not really taking any action.
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#19

Bradabout~

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/13/2007 | Posts: 204

I was a bit of a late bloomer (25). I'm not an ugly dude, but the idea that a girl would find me desirable wasn't "in my reality". Looking back now (31) I see many instances where girls were attracted to me. For the ones I liked, I'd either get nervous and act chodey, or find an excuse and not act at all. For the girls I wasn't attracted to, I'd either ignore or make sure they knew it wasn't on.

In response to some of your thoughts in the OP....

- If you want to change your results, change your actions. Try something, anything different and see what happens.
- It's important to have other things going on in your life. Improving yourself and living life will actually help you get girls, as long are still being social
- Do not wait for the perfect set of circumstances!... if you wait until you are "muscular enough" you will never get there. If you keep waiting until you meet a perfect, special girl, you never will.
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#20
Whisperer

Whisperer

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/26/2009 | Posts: 112

Heeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! what is this lying around shit?!
What is this terrible way of thinking?! why do u give up like that... Don't think so negative.



One of my best friends is 26, he never had sex and I always told him that the day he wants too - he'll get a girl friend. Two months ago he found some one and they are a couple still. He is a year older then you!

You really need to go to a boot camp and watch some of the RSD videos, or read "The Game"... But I really do recommend to take a boot camp. You'll have the best wings teaching u where u were wrong so far.
Be positive, live with passion, always think: HOW CAN I MAKE THIS FUN? ask your self this question and do what the answer tells you.
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My blog: http://thewhispererpost.wordpress.com
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