THE FORUMS

July 28th, 2014
Help, My Dick Won't Work.
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BusinessTime

BusinessTime

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/29/2008 | Posts: 187

I just got back from this beautiful girl's bed and I feel like such a loser.


I'm hanging with this girl I met at a bar.  I had hung out with her last week and we hit it off great.

I invite myself over and we watch a movie.  We hang out for hours, drinking wine, listening to music, I'm escalating on the physicalness.  She's digging me, I'm digging her.  We makeout and fireworks are going on in my head.  I've never felt this good while kissing a girl, usually I'm not big fan of kissing, it's like some new drug.

There's an epic struggle to get her clothes off which lasts hours.  She loves being dominated though.  I can't believe how beautiful and sexy she is.   I have no idea what time it is.  Could be 2 am or 4 am.

Eventually I pick her up by her butt and throw on her bed and rip her pants off.  I rip mine off too.

But then I look down and I got nothing... My dick isn't even that hard  I try to ignore it, keep macking on her body, turn the lights off.  Then I look down and my dick has absolutely nothing.

She's touching it and I finally say it:   'I can't get hard for some reason...'
We laugh uncomfortably.

I lay back and relax, start touching her and am able to get it up about 75 percent.  I get on top of her, stick it in and after a few seconds my dick fades to mush again.
.
She says stuff like 'Is it me?'  'Does this happen a lot?'   'Im surprised'

I say stuff like 'I think it's the pressure or something'   'This has happened when I'm too drunk before'    'I don't know....'

She's nice about it... she can tell I'm feeling terrible about it..

I'm speaking out loud now and say something like ' I had sex a month ago with this girl and it was fine..but it was different, it was very fast and she was more forward'

She doesn't really know what I'm talking about so I just shut up.

I think back to the last few times I've had sex and the pacing was 100 times faster in these situations  It was escalated from make-out to sex within minutes compared to this time where it was make-out to sex in hours.

I've never had a girlfriend either, just one night stand sort of deals.


What the fuck is wrong with me? 





tldr; I really like this girl.  I couldn't get it up.  How do I get rid of this performance anxiety?   What do I tell her to reconcile this situation?  I feel like less of a man.
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#1
general

general

Member

Join Date: 04/21/2009 | Posts: 89

Was there myself some weeks ago and I felt like shitt to until it got to the point where I got tierd of myself wining and let go of trying to control the cock. Crash n burn and your dick will learn :)

Don't care if the dick will work cos sometimes it won't, and don't let yourself feel less of a man because of that.
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#2
Bye-byecycle

Bye-byecycle

Member

Join Date: 06/06/2009 | Posts: 58

I feel you, had the same problem myself. Usually working without any problems if there's not a lot of alcohol involved, but with this one girl, gosh, she was one of the hottest I ever banged (yea, later it worked out), but I couldn't get it up. First she got kind of offended, then she started doubting it was about her and the second try I couldn't get it up either, didn't make it any easier that she was moaning for my dick like crazy and it just put more pressure on me. Dead. Lol. Anyways, after that second time she said that it we'll get it up someday and we just started cuddling and bow, suddenly it got like 80 % up and we had sort of a lame fuck, but a fuck nonetheless. The third time we met no problem, hard as rock. I guess it was some kind of performance anxiety and I think you're exactly in the same situation. You like her too much that you fail that you'll fail, even if you dont acknowledge it. Just take your time and assure her its not about you or her, and you'll get it working. Don't start acting like a pussy just because of your dick didn't work, be cool and try to act as normal as possible. Hope this helped.
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#3
BusinessTime

BusinessTime

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/29/2008 | Posts: 187

Thanks bye-byecycle.

I don't feel so alone anymore.

I guess the next step should be just to try again with her.  I just hope she wasn't totally turned off by it.  I don't think so, cause I just slept over snuggling up with her all night.
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#4
Bye-byecycle

Bye-byecycle

Member

Join Date: 06/06/2009 | Posts: 58

BusinessTime wrote:
Thanks bye-byecycle.

I don't feel so alone anymore.

I guess the next step should be just to try again with her.  I just hope she wasn't totally turned off by it.  I don't think so, cause I just slept over snuggling up with her all night.
Same thing bro, we slept together as well. I just called her, asked whats up, found out she's going to the same party as me, went to her place from there. My girl actually took as a challenge to get my dick working since she had never experienced that before. Don't worry, everything will work out fine, just don't be self-conscious about, ie. dont start acting out weird or try be super dominant if it feels like out of character to you just to get your dick up, it will actually have the reverse effect. The more you think about it, the less likely it will work. Just do whatever with her where you can loose yourself in the moment. She already likes you if she wanted to jump to bed with you, thats no problem.
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#5
Stillness

Stillness

Member

Join Date: 11/28/2008 | Posts: 33

Dude I relate to this on so many levels.

I can't tell you how many times my junk has failed me. It was only a problem once, and that's because it was a problem for ME. Every other time I've just said meh, what the fuck am I supposed to do about it, I've still got this hot girl beneath me and if she thinks she's getting off that easy, she's gonna learn differently.

Seriously. No girl has ever been weird about it. In fact, almost ALL have been even MORE turned on when I DIDN'T fuck them because I turn it into a challenge for them to make it happen next time.

Plus, my dick is very consistent in that if I go clubbing and don't get home until like 3am with the girl, MOST of the time, it won't work. I'm just too tired. And I tell the girl that. And she's fine with it. Every time.
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#6

Corksil

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/03/2009 | Posts: 1341

snuggle up and fall asleep for morning nookie.

performance anxiety - subconcious even.

first time it happened to me I got all chode about it and started mumbling about how I couldn't give her what she wanted and other chodey stuff. bad mistake.... she ran away.

Age-old saying - if you believe it 100%, so will she. In other words, if it's not a big deal to you - she won't care. Next time.
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#7
Bye-byecycle

Bye-byecycle

Member

Join Date: 06/06/2009 | Posts: 58

Coulda been out of my mouth.
Stillness wrote:
Dude I relate to this on so many levels.

I can't tell you how many times my junk has failed me. It was only a problem once, and that's because it was a problem for ME. Every other time I've just said meh, what the fuck am I supposed to do about it, I've still got this hot girl beneath me and if she thinks she's getting off that easy, she's gonna learn differently.

Seriously. No girl has ever been weird about it. In fact, almost ALL have been even MORE turned on when I DIDN'T fuck them because I turn it into a challenge for them to make it happen next time.

Plus, my dick is very consistent in that if I go clubbing and don't get home until like 3am with the girl, MOST of the time, it won't work. I'm just too tired. And I tell the girl that. And she's fine with it. Every time.
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#8
JFM

JFM

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/13/2007 | Posts: 2236

Wow man...I just realized that your name is "businesstime"...as in "cut the shit...it's time to get down to business".   What a lot of performance pressure.   I've had this my friend, and it's your true self coming out and SPEAKING UP.     It doesn't give a fuck what time it is, business or otherwise.

I think that the advice of "letting your cock crash and burn" is very wise.   But easier said than done...nobody wants their ego crushed.    But I think he's right in his comment.   
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#9
MikeLitoris

MikeLitoris

Member

Join Date: 06/14/2009 | Posts: 66

As someone used to say, you've got whiskey dick.
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#10

shakeshi

Member

Join Date: 08/14/2009 | Posts: 84

 i definitely would not tell her it worked with another girl as it will make her feel like
she does not turn you on. i would have made sure that she had a good
time by giving her the best oral sex of her life and kissing/fondling her body through
numerous orgasms. lots of women have their best orgasms when they are not being 
penetrated by a penis. 
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