THE FORUMS

December 3rd, 2016
Secrets of ~Eye Contact~ REVEALED
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Suspect

Suspect

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/24/2007 | Posts: 1237

This thread was NOT my idea. It was R0B0TB0NER's and he is a genius. I decided that I have too much to say to put in a post buried on pg.4 of a thread. So here we go...

When I was working at the club, behind the bar, I literally got laid many times using eye contact as my only tool. I couldn't talk over the music, and it was impossible to get physical from across the bar. The only thing I had was my eyes, and I used the hell out of them.

There is a LOT to this.

For the first year, I literally could not figure out how to get a girl at that damn job, and this was frustrating as hell - I mean, here I am surrounded by hot girls. Should be easy, right? It was easy - once I figured out the eye contact thing. In fact, it went way beyond just picking up girls. It's like my swiss army knife of social dynamics. More on that later.

First of all, here's how I learned to hold eye contact:

Make a rule for yourself not to look away first. Use your brain, don't go around staring down gangsters and aggro drunks at random bars ... but people you know and people you want to know which would include: friends, coworkers, bouncers, bartenders, *hot girls*, etc. Just look them in the eyes, and hold it. THAT SIMPLE. Oh yeah, and smile, or at least don't look like you want to kill them.

A list of things I experienced during this time:
-Looking away on accident, often darting away and back to the eye contact several times
-Becoming extremely anxious, even scared, while forcing myself to hold eye contact, and needing tons of concentration to do it
-Eventually experiencing an intense feeling of calm, with a hint of adrenaline, and learned to enjoy holding eye contact.
-Started to notice very unexpected reactions from people... including attraction, embarassment, indignation, nervousness, friendliness, and respect.

I remember sitting in a pizzaria with my friends, and locking eyes with a hot girl sitting at a table across the room. She held. I held. She smiled. I smiled. She blushed. I pussed out - at the time I was a little shell shocked, still not used to hot girls liking me. This became a pattern. I look a girl in the eyes, she looks me in the eyes back, I hold, she's mine. I used this to create tons of made for TV moments, where the girl and I are tracking each other through the thick of the crowd, craning necks to get glimpses of each other's eyes from other sides of the swirling crowds. Walking up to girls, and having this undescribable instant connection that would just baffle people who couldn't peice together exactly what happened or why we were suddenly so "together". "So, girls, just, like, throw their numbers at you like that?" my friend once asked me, when he watched me pull 5 "napkin numbers" in one productive night when I was working behind the bar. That was the perfect place to use eye contact to get girls, because they didn't even expect me to talk to them. They knew I was busy.

Even in the context of relationships. I've watched girls fall in love with me. Eye contact is like emotional crack to a girl. It's a great tool when you don't know what to say. Just look a person in the eyes, and say nothing. You can't hold eye contact with a person and have your head somewhere else. When a person is talking passionately about something, shut up, look them in the eyes, and watch them. Be in the moment. Pay attention to them so intently, that you literally can't be thinking about anything else.

I became aware of entitlement issues via my eye contact learning phase. I realized, I didn't hold eye contact, because I felt "beneath" people. I realized that I felt vulnerable when I held eye contact, and furthermore that by embracing that vulnerability I came into my power. I learned how to convey myself more honestly and completely through my eyes than I knew how to any other way. I learned how to make girls feel special, and wanted, and how to create moments that felt every bit as intimate and intense as fucking even from halfway across the bar (and I could see it in the girls eyes that she felt it too). I began to notice that people who are scared never hold eye contact. I learned that I can actually intimidate people, people who are scared of what I'll see in their eyes. Eye contact literally opened up an entire world to me that I didn't even know existed.

Eye contact is so powerful I literally can't overemphasize it, and upon a moment's reflection I am ashamed I never made this post sooner.

So that's it... look people in the eye, and watch their eyes until you see them look away. Do that until it becomes habit. You might be amazed at what you find.
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#1
epishred

epishred

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Join Date: 10/21/2009 | Posts: 461

i dunno dude, this works if you're in the right mindset, but it can get really creepy or threatening if you're not.
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#2

sirex

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/11/2009 | Posts: 705

epishred wrote:
i dunno dude, this works if you're in the right mindset, but it can get really creepy or threatening if you're not.

creepy to who?

have you tried it? Try talking to people holding eye contact... ITs a far more in depth convo.


and ya I do this too... though I haven't used it to help me become a pickup champ... I do use it in conversation with people. actually its a very powerful tool.

One day i was in class, and these 3 guys a tthe back of the class kept talking (this is a college class), and wouldn't shut up. I knew they wouldn't try to fight me or anything. So, I turned around and sat stairing at them for about 5 minutes. Each one, one at a time. Until they reckonized I was looking at them. Then as one by one they grabbed eye contact with me, they realized I meant business, their faces turned all red and they lowered their heads and stopped talking..
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#3

Shazam!

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/01/2008 | Posts: 1294

Money money... can't tell you how integral eye contact was before I became a little more talkative.  Still is, too. 
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I say evolve, and let the chips fall where they may.
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#4
Suspect

Suspect

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Join Date: 01/24/2007 | Posts: 1237

Epishred, there is potential for failure in everything. Do not fear the consequences of learning how to be skilled with your eyes, fear the consequences of never learning. This is a MUST HAVE skill. I don't care how many girls you have to creep out and threaten, in the end it will be worth it, gauranteed. It adds so much depth to your interactions with other people, not to mention the emotional communication that occurs... just by looking people in the eye you will instinctually pick up on things about them that you never would have otherwise. It'll get you in and out of fights, it will make potential employers remember your name, it will help convince people you are sincere, and make girls melt right before your eyes. It's just too valuable to ignore.
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#5

JeeMo

Member

Join Date: 10/28/2009 | Posts: 51

epishred wrote:
i dunno dude, this works if you're in the right mindset, but it can get really creepy or threatening if you're not.
Mindset has nothing to do with it, it's all about your facial expression. If you put on a "pedo-smile" and stare intently at a girl she's probably dialing 911, but if you can convey a genuine smile she won't feel creeped out or threatened.
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#6

Corksil

Trusted Member

Join Date: 03/03/2009 | Posts: 1341

i read somewhere you can strengthen the muscles in your eyes used to hold eye contact by counting words on a page like this one. Practice looking intently at each word as you count it in your head, don't just skim over them and count as you read. Or look at the word until you can say the number of letters in it.

good post.
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#7
Dick Gallo

Dick Gallo

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Join Date: 08/13/2008 | Posts: 1947

No wayz?!?!?

We should use eye contacts?!?!?

We should also use our penis for sex!!!1111111111111eleven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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The degenerate formerly known as Anus and Dick Cheney's Ripe Genitals.

Sales Manager: You have no previous sales experience, I don't think you can handle rejection.
BonoboTimes: Your right, I don't. However, I've been fucking models since I was 17. I've dealt with being called ugly, stupid, gay, creep, asshole, and a bunch of other shit. Been told to go away, don't talk to me, go fuck yourself, and I'm not interested by over three thousand women and groups of people. I can handle rejection better than anyone on this lot if not city. Not only that, I never leave. I will follow the customer across the fucking street if I have to. I simply do not give a fuck. I close.

Evil Stifler: "My internal cheerleaders are on my team, bro. They're like, GO, GO, GO, GO!"

Eckhart Tolle: "Adam and Eve saw that they were naked, and they became afraid."

TheFADER: "The club is always a place I can count on to get complete peace and quiet while studying my math."

Bonah Jamz 2010~
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#8

Shazam!

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/01/2008 | Posts: 1294

Corksil wrote:
i read somewhere you can strengthen the muscles in your eyes used to hold eye contact by counting words on a page like this one. Practice looking intently at each word as you count it in your head, don't just skim over them and count as you read. Or look at the word until you can say the number of letters in it.

good post.
Huh, good tip.  I'll give it a try.
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My mindset and reading list.

I say evolve, and let the chips fall where they may.
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#9
Archibald Cunningham

Archibald Cunningham

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/28/2009 | Posts: 219

Inspiring and exciting, my friend.

Archibald Cunningham.
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#10

Broda

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/17/2009 | Posts: 170

nice post, it is definatly intersting to watch for things like this in social scenarios

all this eye contact talk is really making me feel like im missing a major 'tool' in my game, not by  choice but meh guess i've got to work around it
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