THE FORUMS

December 3rd, 2016
Vibing - Relating to the emotional not the explicit content
Your rating: None Average: 4.2 (6 votes)
Bookmark and Share
Remco~

Remco~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/12/2007 | Posts: 1489

A few people in the FR forum recently figured out that I'm not terribly experienced in the sack. You'd think otherwise with my massive 1600 post count and bootcamp experience.
What can I say? I like spewing my thoughts on these forums. On top of that I'm also a ex-forum addict (yes it exists, look it up).
It has been a year since my bootcamp, have I stood still the entire year? Nope.
I went into the bootcamp to learn social skills, I never expected to lose my virginity, sex was somethin' foreign 'other people' did.
I was a eunuch who jerked off every now and then.
So thats what I focused on for over a year; social skills and I got damn good at it as well.
With social skills girls became attracted to me and only now am I rewriting the old scripting that 'sex ain't for me' (gimme some slack fella's :p).
A entire year of socializing has left me with a massive circle of aquintances, a bunch of good friends and a couple of 'best' friends.
From that experience I write this article, will being able to vibe help you get laid? Hell yeah. Will being able to vibe help you build a social circle? Most definitley.

Vibing
The quentessential part of any conversational skill.

Shortly after bootcamp I moved out, changed my education and my social circle changed along.
As I began with my new study I set out to meet everyone and have fun doing it.
At the start of this I was a dancing monkey, bouncing around at party's, alcohol helped me get in state (or so I thought).
As a result, I got known and I got to know a lot of people.
One of these people essentially taught me to vibe well. He's not a alpha male, he's not 'typical', he's a gay, long haired, soft spoken, incredibly smart hippy.
Lets call him 'gay hippy dude'.
Gay hippy dude talked with everyone, if you want someone occupied all you had to do was send him in and he'll talk him/her ears off for an hour or two.
Gay hippy dude completely owns his own identity. He makes gay jokes, pukes at the idea of a and talks about his appreciation off the male form at the most inappropriate moments.
He also has vibing down to a art. He can keep a conversation going with the bare minimum yet still listen to the other person.
At first I wasn't sure what to think about him, he's so far removed from my reality.
This slowly changed and now I can honestly say he's one of my best friends.
From him I learned to vibe.

In any sentence you can connect with two things; the superficial explicit content or the emotional content.
Vibing means relating your own experience to another persons experience. When vibing you first and foremost connect with the emotional contect.
Most girls do this naturally, if you follow there conversation you'll hear a lot about how something made them feel.
Most guys on the other hand relate to the superficial explicit content. They turn the conversation logical and sequential.

For instance, a girl relates a story to a guy about disney world. She went there as a child with her family.
Its one of her favorite childhood memory's.
A complete chode might relate to disney world and start comparing it to other amusement parks. Listing the advantages and disadvantages of each. Thinking she'll love him for it because now she knows exactly what amusement park to go next time.
A regular dude might relate this with going to disney world, how he went there a year ago and that it was cool. Not entirely his cup of tea but still, he wouldn't be opposed to going again.
Notice that they are both relating to the explicit content, disney world or going to disney world. The regular dude is doing a bit better because he's atleast sharing a few emotions.
Gay hippy dude would relate this to a picnic with a few very good friends, how it made him feel secure and happy. No worries in the world.
He's relating to the emotional content of the story; how the experience made her feel.
This makes the conversation organic, jumping from topic to topic

You find a commonality with another person not on a superficial level (oh yeah I loveeeeeee guitars) but on a deeper level (yes I feel that way as well about xyz).
One thing gay hippy dude doesn't do is lead a conversation, in that regard he's a chick.
If a girl starts talking about a situation that made her feel crappy he'll go along with it.

Leading a conversation is the job of a man.
You have to lead her towards good emotions; she'll linger on whatever emotion she's feeling at the time, switching emotions based on external factors (you, the environment, experiences, whatever).
Girls can cry together a entire evening and look back on it fondly, we guys would go nuts in that situation.
Leading the conversation comes from hearing what you want to hear or ignoring what you don't want to hear.

If you are a positive person in general this is not a big issue. You naturally talk about fun positive things.
Its very diffucult to relate to a positive person in a negative way. Suppose somebody tells a negative story about how they lost there wallet.
You go 'yeah, anyway this one time, I was 10 or somethin' and we where building a tree hut. One of these big branches had to be cut off so I got myself a saw and got to work. When I'm about halfway through the branch my best friend see's what I'm up to and comes running at me yelling. Thats when I realize; I was sawing between myself and the tree trunk....''.
Everybody has these story's, you have over a decade of experience to draw from. A lot of stuff happened in that time, even if you sat in your basement for 90% of that time.
You don't have to respond to negativity...
If they insist, you can reply with utter nonsense interupting them and then just roll into a different fun story.
If they keep insisting its time to talk to somebody else...

Cliff notes
Relate to emotions not explicit content.
Gay hippy dude is cool.
Lead conversations.
Be positive...its more fun
__________________
Login or register to post.
#1

RealPill

Junior Member

Join Date: 07/26/2009 | Posts: 9

You da man.
Login or register to post.
#2
TheHitter!

TheHitter!

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/18/2008 | Posts: 218

I really like this post. I've cut and pasted it into my little file of really good PU posts. Thanks! 
__________________
un-fuck yourself
Login or register to post.
#3
Brad

Brad

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/28/2007 | Posts: 3014

Yeah, I really like the whole superficial as opposed to emotional association.
Login or register to post.
#4
Phelim

Phelim

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/15/2009 | Posts: 208

So the gay hippie responded correctly, but made a mistake by failing to lead the conversation?
Login or register to post.
#5
Tasty

Tasty

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/25/2009 | Posts: 524

I notice chicks get slightly genuinely intrigued whenever I drop the word  "feel"

I've noticed I do this from time to time with a girl i'm attracted to in the recent months. For example, somehow me, this cute girl, and a guy friend brought up Pokemon. I started listing a few different ones like Pikachu, Blastoise, and Charizard. She was going crazy like "oh my GOSH yeah! I remember _____ and _____, they were my favorite!". I then slowed down, squinted a bit (bedroom eyes) and started saying something like "yeah I really love the way childhood memories like that make you feel. It was so nice to be a kid and not have any worries, except for collecting pokemon cards, and playing the game with your friends"

Her eyes lit up around the time I say "feel" or "felt" then of course I follow with positive emotions, like you said. Never do I say "yeah I felt like complete shit"

I 'm going to start dropping "yeah it made me feel _____" as often as possible
__________________
I'm horny for life. And woman.
Login or register to post.
#6
Remco~

Remco~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/12/2007 | Posts: 1489

Phelim wrote:
So the gay hippie responded correctly, but made a mistake by failing to lead the conversation?

He didn't make a mistake, think of him as a chick with a dick...ok don't do that
Essentially he's a guy with the mindset of a girl. He follows, not lead.
In the dynamic between him and his boyfriend, he's the chick.

Its not a mistake for him, he's just following who/what he is.
I'm assuming we'r all heterosexual's here, so if we follow when we should lead then we'r gay.
Gotta love the morals on that. :D

I appreciate the props guys, if you have any other questions feel free to ask. ;)
__________________
Login or register to post.
#7
Dr.Dish

Dr.Dish

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/12/2009 | Posts: 381

fucking awesome post.

also
Remco~ wrote:

A complete chode might relate to disney world and start comparing it to other amusement parks. Listing the advantages and disadvantages of each. Thinking she'll love him for it because now she knows exactly what amusement park to go next time.



I LOL'd.  this was SO me a year ago.
Login or register to post.
#8
willgood

willgood

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/13/2008 | Posts: 255

bump, this is bomb
__________________
willgood.net
Anything is possible // We're all in this together!


Login or register to post.
#9
tkat

tkat

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/25/2007 | Posts: 252

That's actually some pretty good NLP there. Feel is such an important word. You want to bring out those good emotions in the girl, especially with things she can relate to (comparing pokemon to good childhood memories was PERFECT). Good stuff man.

Also, great post Remco. You really got the essence of vibing. It's the language that women speak, they speak in emotion!
Tasty wrote:
I notice chicks get slightly genuinely intrigued whenever I drop the word  "feel"

I've noticed I do this from time to time with a girl i'm attracted to in the recent months. For example, somehow me, this cute girl, and a guy friend brought up Pokemon. I started listing a few different ones like Pikachu, Blastoise, and Charizard. She was going crazy like "oh my GOSH yeah! I remember _____ and _____, they were my favorite!". I then slowed down, squinted a bit (bedroom eyes) and started saying something like "yeah I really love the way childhood memories like that make you feel. It was so nice to be a kid and not have any worries, except for collecting pokemon cards, and playing the game with your friends"

Her eyes lit up around the time I say "feel" or "felt" then of course I follow with positive emotions, like you said. Never do I say "yeah I felt like complete shit"

I 'm going to start dropping "yeah it made me feel _____" as often as possible
Login or register to post.
#10
Remco~

Remco~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/12/2007 | Posts: 1489

10Pin wrote:
I like this a lot. Its a true fact that the more rough you feel - tough day at work, whatever - the longer it takes you to hit 'state'. In 'state' conversations go emotional. Out of state, conversations go logical, and stall out.

Thanks man, appreciate it.

Oh and bumpidy bump. :D
__________________
Login or register to post.