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December 10th, 2016
100 DAYS OF TRANSFORMATION - Implementing a habit
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Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

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Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

100 DAYS OF TRANSFORMATION - Implementing a habit

The tricky part of transformation is successfully implementing a given set of habits.
Here are the guidelines I followed or discovered in the process.
The gist of this post is: when you fail at implementing a given habits (which is a local solution to a local problem), it means that you need a global solution. I focus here on what type of global perspective you can take on your life to succesfully implement habits that you need. 

1-HAVE A PLAN
-How to make an action plan:
1/ set up a goal you want to achieve
2/ figure out what you need to do to achieve it
3/ take action

-Useful resources:
*TD’s old article “Implementing a habit” -Simple & gold
*Robbins’ Awaken the Giant Within

-So this is common stuff, but hardly anybody does it effectively and stick to a plan for weeks or months. So the real problem is HOW TO MAKE SURE YOU WILL FOLLOW THAT ACTION PLAN?

2-MAKE A WEEKLY SCHEDULE

-I found it very helpful to choose beforehand the days of the week when I will do what I decided to do in my action plan. It seems so unimportant that you hardly do it, but it proved to be a very useful tool for me.

-You chose your days by taking into account everything that can prevent you from following the plan, and make sure nothing will hinder you that day. You chose beforehand so that you don’t waste time wondering when to practice, or hesitating because of X-excuse. That means that you know at what time during the day you do it, and you cancel everything that can prevent you from doing it.

-Example:
I decided to exercise at least 3 times a week. I found out that I needed recovery, so I would need 1 day to rest between to day of physical activity. After a while I realized that I often get very tired at the end of the week, and I get very busy, so I decided to exercise at the beginning of the week. So I could exercise Sun-Tue-Thu or Mon-Wed-Fri. Then I found out that I Mon-Wed-Fri would be more practical. But I would be out of state on Fridays because of my training. So ideally my schedule now is hard trainings on Mon-Wed, average or light trainings on Fridays and Sundays.

3-ENSURE LONG TERM IMPROVEMENTS BY HAVING DEFAULT GOALS

-So you have an action plan, you know what time of the week you are implementing your habits, but what happens when you get lazy, or you are unable to perform what you intended to do?

-The key here is
1/to figure out a default action plan that will lead you where you want to go, and
2/to limit your getting off track by making it easier to stay on track. You WILL have setbacks, you'd better be prepared

-1/ The problem when you don’t want to take action is that you can use it as an excuse to not make any progress whatsoever. But even if you can’t put 100% effort that day, you can still put a 50%, or a 10%, even a 1%, which is still better than nothing and is very effective on the long term. So you should figure out what is the least effort needed to go where you want to go, and to do it when you don’t feel like doing anything.

-2/ That default objective must be rather easy, otherwise you won’t do it. So how can we make it easy? By preparing beforehand the days when you will fall off your path.

-Examples:
*I wanted to lose weight. So I made efforts to eat healthier. I bought fresh vegetables from the local market, organic when I can afford it, etc. AND I bought a dozen of vegetable cans, and I have a DEFAULT healthy meal that I prepare with them. Now, whenever I don’t feel like cooking, when I feel lazy and ready to spend money to buy a random pizza, I just use the cans instead.
*When I don’t feel like talking to 20 women a night and want to stay home, or when I am ill  I just put my shoes on and go out to a familiar venue. So I am not taking much risks, and it’s more fun for me to go to that place than to stay home. Even there, I won’t necessarily force myself to approach. End result: I went out, I talked to people, very often without high expectations fun things happened, and I improved by 1% and strengthened my habit instead of staying home and improving by 0%, or -10%.

4-BUILDING AN ECOSYSTEM

-What will prevent you from implementing a given habit is that it will get in conflict with other habits you are unaware of.

-Examples: you want to go out, but your friends don’t want to, so you stay home. Or you want to eat healthy, but your fridge is empty, and the only option is the fast food restaurant nearby. In the first case, you have the habit of going out only with friends, in the second you have the habit of thinking about your groceries only when your fridge is empty.

-Solution: you must expand your action plan and implement new sets of secondary habits in order to take care of your primary habits. As with your primary habits, you pick up wisely your days so that everything will be taken care of. The ecosystem is the whole set of primary and secondary habits you implement in order to achieve your goals.

-Examples:
*I wanted to eat healthy, but sometimes the fridge was empty and I had to eat crap food outside. So I figured out the best way to buy food (when the market nearby is opened), picked up the days when I would buy food (Tuesdays and Fridays, mornings), wrote down what I would need, and now I buy my groceries every Tuesday and Friday morning. End result: I saved much money, my fridge is always full, and I can always prepare a healthy meal, so I can’t resort to excuses no to do it.
*I realized that if I was able to go out alone, nothing would prevent me from going out when I have to. So I focused on going out alone for some time. This secondary is now very helpful for me to improve my primary habits in the pick up area.

5-EXCUSES

-So now you have an action plan, a schedule, default objectives so that you still improve by 1% whenever you don’t feel like making efforts, and you built ecosystems around your primary habits so that you don’t fall off your path easily.
There is still one big obstacle that will prevent you from following the plan: excuses.

-There is a KEY habit that helped me a lot. I didn’t implement it fully yet, but I helped me a lot already.
That key habit is: do what you have to do when the conditions are not there, and when you have excuses no to do it.
This includes: being ill, not having the time, not being in the mood to,…
When this happens, PUSH THROUGH just to implement the habit of doing the right thing instead of the easy thing.
→ An excuse is not preventing you from taking action, it is an opportunity to strengthen your willpower.

-Example:
*When I am ill or tired, and my action plan says I must go out, I will go out just BECAUSE I am in the worst conditions ever.

6-IMPROVING YOUR ACTION PLAN

-Experience will tell you what is preventing you from achieving your goals. So whenever you are facing a problem, go back to your action plan and see how modifying it will make the problem disappear. List the problem that you encounter, and design new habits or action that will take care of the problem.

-Drafting an action plan is a fluid thing. Following it however is not subject to discussion.

7-GAINING MOMENTUM

-The main benefit of sticking to your plan even when it is not the best and needs improvement, or when you find excuses not to, is that you gain momentum. With enough momentum, it becomes easier to follow the plan than not to. When you reach that Momentum Inversion Point, all the obstacles that you encountered previously vanish. Suddenly you realize that it is all in your head.




TO SUM IT UP:

-To change you have to implement new habits

-Implementing new habits can be boring and painful, but when you reach the Momentum Inversion Point, it becomes easy and enjoyable. So you want to reach the MIP as soon as possible.

-Common obstacles to that are:
*not knowing what to do
*knowing what to do but not doing it
*doing it but not consistently
*doing it rather consistently but eventually giving up on it

-Main reasons for that are
*not being in the good state of mind (no motivation, sadness, being tired,…)
*not being able to do it (lack of time, of money, …)
*having situational excuses in general

-Solutions that I tested and elaborate on in that post are:
*make a weekly action plan (decide which days of the week you practice, at what time, how and where)
*optimize your action plan so that obstacles disappear
*figure out a default action plan with default objectives so that to still improve by 1% instead of doing nothing
*build an ecosystem of habits to eliminate obstacles
*consider excuses as an opportunity to strengthen your willpower, not as a permission to do nothing
*stick to the plan until you reach the MIP.

Thoughts?
Any contributions will be appreciated.
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#1
TOOBAD

TOOBAD

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Join Date: 10/31/2006 | Posts: 1242

THIS IS AWESOME! It should be considered as a sticky because it is so practical! Bookmarking it - thanks mate!
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#2
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

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Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

Sooo... More than one year after, what happened ?

-I had massive setbacks and starting losing all the habits I have been implementing. This became possible because I implemented too many habits at once, ie they weren't all deeply rooted. 

-Then after a while, the real rewards appeared. I could regress, but I was rewired not to regress a lot. My main goals were health and going out, and to my suprise after a period of setbacks a constant improvement started to take place. 
One reason for that is what I described in OP as the default plan. 
Another reason for that is that you are modified by your habits and you can't go back. Now I can eat junk of course, but I also CRAVE vegetables and fruits. Sometimes I want junk, but it happens less and less often now. I have rewired my body to enjoy vegetables, fruits, clean food, etc. To the point that even if I eat junk during a night out, I'll try to eat fruits or something healthy because my body craves it. 

I can't emphasize enough on the default plan, and the ecosystem part. 

If I had to add something, it would be this: focus on one habit at a time. You do more with less, don't worry about making slow progresses. I realized I was better off focusing on one new habit at a time for an extended period of time than trying to implement many at once, because when you are implementing a habit you need time to learn new behaviors and also to re-design your lifestyle if need because of that new habit. For example if you want to eat healthy, you need to find new grocery stores, cheaper food, time to cook, new recipes, etc, and this can take time too. 

This is field tested.
I'd love to hear about experiences from other people on the same subject. 
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#3
ambiguity

ambiguity

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Join Date: 10/28/2009 | Posts: 5327

Tony Robbin's books are what helped me acquire so much "success" in different areas of my life but, the downward spirals keep coming too.

As the Buddha puts it, "the finger pointing to the moon is not the moon."

Tony, Ecky, Millman, and others are only sign posts.

Tony speaks of short term goals and long term goals. A long term goals have subset of short term goals to keep you occupied. Keep this in mind. Keep hungry and focused.

I appreciate your positive response to my thread. If you missing the mark, if you "sin," don't be hard on yourself. Tomorrow is another day.

Set goals bigger then pick up. I have heard of some many PUAs who miss the mark.

There is a PUA from LS called Bonsai I believe. He came out with an article regarding, "your someone's 10 right now."

Its true man. If you make your millions or pull models or whatever, you are maybe not her 10 any more. Why? Cause of her self concept and lack of connectivity built in you. Every situation is different.

There is no full proof method. None.

Set up a vision board and mark down your goals. Be tough on yourself but, you need to be fair. Go back to Tony's book 1x a year. I am thinking of doing the Date with Destiny Seminar in the next two years.

I have some big goals or myself between now and then, some small as well. Once I obtain it, to get to the next level in life, I will look to see Tony. When I make my millions or get wealthy, I will have this man on fucking speed dial.

Paris mate, Tony changed my life. Honestly, I've had several manic lows despite the talent, the brillance, the potentiality that I have within me that laid dormant most of my life. No pull, no stunner or SMOKE SHOW will ever truly fullfill you.

Constantly build yourself, your goals, where you want to be but, be open to change like Tony recommends. Try different approach. There is no "failure," only learned lessons. Good luck mate!
Paris Boum Boum wrote:
Sooo... More than one year after, what happened ?

-I had massive setbacks and starting losing all the habits I have been implementing. This became possible because I implemented too many habits at once, ie they weren't all deeply rooted. 

-Then after a while, the real rewards appeared. I could regress, but I was rewired not to regress a lot. My main goals were health and going out, and to my suprise after a period of setbacks a constant improvement started to take place. 
One reason for that is what I described in OP as the default plan. 
Another reason for that is that you are modified by your habits and you can't go back. Now I can eat junk of course, but I also CRAVE vegetables and fruits. Sometimes I want junk, but it happens less and less often now. I have rewired my body to enjoy vegetables, fruits, clean food, etc. To the point that even if I eat junk during a night out, I'll try to eat fruits or something healthy because my body craves it. 

I can't emphasize enough on the default plan, and the ecosystem part. 

If I had to add something, it would be this: focus on one habit at a time. You do more with less, don't worry about making slow progresses. I realized I was better off focusing on one new habit at a time for an extended period of time than trying to implement many at once, because when you are implementing a habit you need time to learn new behaviors and also to re-design your lifestyle if need because of that new habit. For example if you want to eat healthy, you need to find new grocery stores, cheaper food, time to cook, new recipes, etc, and this can take time too. 

This is field tested.
I'd love to hear about experiences from other people on the same subject. 
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#4
UtopiaFive

UtopiaFive

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Join Date: 09/16/2008 | Posts: 4956

Good stuff.  A lot of habits are very simple to get going, and make HUGE differences.  

I'm finding that 2 weeks is all the time you need to engrain a habit...habits regarding your day to day behaviors.  Habits like "don't watch porn", "consume fish oil and a vitamin every morning", "when you find yourself about to buy coffee (or anything you think you waste $$$ on), stop for 10 seconds and ask yourself What exactly is my purpose at this moment?", "smiling at regular intervals", etc.  

Habits like "going out" and "going to the gym" probably never really become fully auto-pilot, BUT the thing that changes in 2-4 weeks here is that its IN YOUR REALITY that you can go out 4 nights a week, go to the gym 4 days a week, go train jiu jitsu 4 days a week, spend a few hours cooking one afternoon a week, etc.  (Its NOT in my reality that someone could do less than an hour of exercise a week, right now, but it HAS gotten to the point where its in my reality you can go out 1 night a week, which kinda sucks, so I'm "forcing" going out again...)

BTW -- I'd started doing the "my criteria for success is just to go out, get out of the house"...and OF COURSE I still talk to people.  If its a slow night, maybe there's no approaches or chatting with "viable girls to hook up with", but that builds into the goal of those nights anyway...knowing you don't NEED something...getting better at just chillin, etc.  

Good post, might have more to say later when I'm not sleep deprived
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#5
Starsailor

Starsailor

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/27/2007 | Posts: 354

This post is fantastic. It reminds me of Tyler's old implementing a habit post, but with more detail so it's really practical.

At the moment I'm trying to implement the habit of approaching one girl every single day.

One thing that I find helpful is actually having a physical calendar and putting a big X on every day that I take action towards my goal.

When you see a huge string of X's along the calendar, you don't want to break the chain.
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#6
Grunt

Grunt

Senior Member

Join Date: 02/14/2011 | Posts: 154

Starsailor wrote:
This post is fantastic. It reminds me of Tyler's old implementing a habit post, but with more detail so it's really practical.

At the moment I'm trying to implement the habit of approaching one girl every single day.

One thing that I find helpful is actually having a physical calendar and putting a big X on every day that I take action towards my goal.

When you see a huge string of X's along the calendar, you don't want to break the chain.

I like the whole X thing, I have been somewhat doing this. writing my daily goals so i get em done no mater what. My disipline has increased even after a couple weeks, I cant write them them down every day because I get really busy. But I always keep consistant. Nice post

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