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October 21st, 2014
What's the best way to stop giving a fuck about what people think?
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Hendrix

Member

Join Date: 04/11/2009 | Posts: 32

I've been going out for a long time, since before I even became aware of the community, so it's not that.

I'm capable of pulling girls thanks to lots of female interactions over the years, so it's not that.

So what is it?

Why do I still give a fuck about what other people think of me? It's starting to get very annoying.

Can anyone recommend some good ways to get rid of that part of me that actually values the opinion of other people who I have never even spoken to? It's crippling me on a personal level.
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#1
Deft

Deft

Trusted Member

Join Date: 06/16/2008 | Posts: 2038

Yeah it sucks.
The best guys is not that they dont care about what people think about them, it is that they know what they want, for example if you want fun your mind will not focus on negative feedback it will take the positive or whatever it is that you want and will play from there.
Id plant some beliefs that youd want to cultivate in your head, for example, "everyones is my friend", "im a 10", "everything is one big joke", "sex is just a fun thing", "what i think about myself is the most important thing", "girls are fun", "appearences are not important, what is important is the depth".
There are many automatic beliefs that one is not really aware of, sometimes just paying attention to them can be all one needs.

This is strengthening of the head, mind training.
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#2
Abower

Abower

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Join Date: 08/26/2007 | Posts: 1857

Do you want an obvious answer?

The best way is to give a fuck about what you think.
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#3
Trig

Trig

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/03/2007 | Posts: 1955

The best way is to stop being judgemental yourself.  Usually when we are concerned about what others think, it's a reflection of how WE view the world. 

Say, you're worried about what people think of your clothes.  Well, that implies that you see the world as a place of people that wear cool clothes and people that don't.  Now, if you saw the world differently and didn't make little character judgements about others clothing you would never feel that others were judging you.  Make sense?
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#4
TableDance

TableDance

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/08/2009 | Posts: 1988

Take a look at your life as a whole....
Then consider the affect that this person is gonna have on your life....
Really?!?!  That small?!?!  Then who gives a shit what they think?
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#5

nandnor

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/19/2009 | Posts: 12

Embrace your ego completely. Embrace the fact that your comfort is the only thing that matters to yourself, and other people matter only as much as they are useful to you in achieving the end of satisfaction. Its nihilistic, but as egos, we are bound by that mentality due to the dual nature of reason and action, just often dont want to admit it to ourselves due to ensuing peer pressure which causes distress and social conditioning.
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#6

duG

Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/05/2008 | Posts: 1465

Stop thinking about what other poeple are thinking. Its always false. Its impossible to KNOW what others are thinking. So stop trying to guess what they're thinking. You're just spinning your wheels.
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#7

Cream.

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/03/2009 | Posts: 167

duG hit the nail on the head, I always used to think people hated me, I went over and chatted to them and now looking back on it, they were just nervous about us talking for the first time because they thought I wouldn't like them. The way I stopped caring is a little backwards but it worked just fine and could suit you just fine. I'd play tonnes of online games anyway so instead of listening to music, I'd sing over my microphone and have people yelling abuse at me, threatening to kill my family and all of that good stuff, eventually it got to a point when I realised they were just people and their opinion of me is based on so little that I can't take it seriously. If my mummy said it it would be different though of course. I guess the key is exposure over time, it shouldn't take too long.

Have fun with it, you could go out in clown suits or whatever floats your boat.
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#8
Vic Sage

Vic Sage

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/13/2008 | Posts: 404

intentionally do shit that you know people are gonna hate for awhile
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#9

The Boss

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/16/2009 | Posts: 823

its doesnt mean BECOME UNABLE TO JUDGE SOCIAL CUES AND ACT LIKE THE YOU HAVE ADHD

it means DO NOT let other peoples ideas about you have an affect on what you will /willnot do
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#10
kyldo

kyldo

Member

Join Date: 03/11/2008 | Posts: 49

For most people, there is a huge gap between what they think others think of them and what others actually think of them. I think that if you want to stop caring what others think you need to ingrain the belief (whether delusional or not) that everyone likes you and everyone will be your friend. I think you can 'beat the game' by seeing everything in a positive light. For example, if someone is cold to you, interpret it as them being shy. Interpret every situation as a reason why you're awesome. I'm still working on this and often find myself caring what others think, but thought patterns like these really seem to help me.
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