THE FORUMS

December 11th, 2016
(KG's FRs) Cultivating Core Confidence
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KesaGatame

KesaGatame

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/02/2007 | Posts: 547

 Gotta get my own thread going on. I've been hitting the scene 3-4 nights a week regularly now and I'm pumped to post things up.

I'm going to be doing an independent study in Psychology as my university, and I'm going it on the development of confidence and the processes involved in becoming confident - and an understanding of CORE confidence (not situation or even state specific). 

This is making me want to go even more balls to the wall and just push comfort zones, I want to exemplify confidence and apply what I learn here and in psychology - and of course in the allmighty 'field.' The field of fields. 

Onward!

___________

TONIGHT:

I hit up this local dance joint solo. I always know a bunch of people there and I knew a girl (has a bf whom I know well) rolling down there too.

I jam to music HARD on my way down to the club and I get all into it, singing stuff and doing random dance moves. When I show up I know the bouncer and I'm in.

I see a 3 set as soon as I walk into the place, nice figures. The one closest to me had an okay face... Aught to have opened anyway (engrain the habit of just approaching without question). 

I start off a little slow and say hi to some people I know. I said hi to this chick who was in my high school though I was never in any classes with her. I just opened up my arms and yelled the high school name (forgot hers) and she was like "oooh hiii." She recognized me a little, but my assumption of a warm and close vibe put her in that same place around me.

She's walking over to her friends and I'm walking the same way so I ask "are these your girls?" She confirms that that's the case, I hug one of the girls who also went to out HS who I didn't remember (I wasn't super social with the other grades when I was in HS). They went to talking by themselves and I told he I'd catch her later and how I'm on the floor.

This pattern replayed itself plenty of times during the night: 

-random open
-surprised look
-semi-humorous words exchanged
-girl gets freaked grabs other friend girl
-I pretend to see someone I know and walk off

This happened WAY more than I'd like, but for some reason my openers aren't hitting or hooking. Its dead pan almost every single time.

What I did do tonight was I danced and focused on dancing. I want to be comfortable dancing up on new girls, creating fun and engaging girls in fun ways, being able to have my own fun on the dance floor, and obviously pulling. 

However, here's how a lot of my dances went tonight:

-I do something fun/goofy or I introduce myself "Hi, I'm Dan"
-Girl either looks surprised or subtly amused 
-I go to dance with her
-Girl does it for a little bit but motions for her girls to come grab her

Again, not the ideal, but fuck I did it, I did it a bunch of times tonight. None of the 7 or so dances I initiated ended up in a LEGIT dance scenario.

By that I mean this: If you're dancing with a girl - especially from behind - she might just be with her friends joking around and stuff. This is not sexual tension, this will never result in pulling. 

I NEED TO START OFF STRONG with a full-sexual dance with a girl. In addition, I NEED TO LEARN TO turn a lame dance-from-behind festival of non-sexuality into something sexual and dominant. 

Toward the end of the night I involved my friends (something I want to do a LOT more of) in the process of approaching.

I would grab a friend and be like "lets go grab two girls" and then walk out there and start dancing with a set immediately. For some reason in my mind I am protected from a lot of the 'awkwardness' factor because my friend is there and WE are there to approach and have fun - which somehow lessens the blow compared to being a lone dude getting blown out - nobody to laugh about it with. In addition, when I lead like this it puts the responsibility on me to open!

I also had friends point out random hotties and I'd just walk up and approach them. Again, this gave it the social component of "hahaha yeah nice shot bro" which for some reason is easier than approaching solo (Tyler's idea of 'alliances' for confidence, not to mention once again I am now fulfilling a role of approach man).

^Ideally, my confidence and approaches would be high without outside social influence, but since its there I might as well leverage it, I like it.

Night closed off alright, energy level over there is off the charts. 

PROS:

-nutted the fuck up and took responsibility to approach and to overcome the fear of dancing on new girls - I won't die
-"just do it" moments feel fantastic even when the objective isn't met, its acting on the principal of right action that's the ideal
-had a good time with friends pushing me and encouraging a step out of comfort

CONS:

-not able to consistently hook any sets
-not able to remain dancing with girls - didn't have any legit and sexual to give
-pretended to see someone I knew to leave conversations with girls instead of just walking off

So much more to come...
__________________
Howl at the Moon.
"Don't get it twisted..." NYC Bootcamp with Ryan, December 2009


Life Experiment
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#1
Sp!ke

Sp!ke

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/09/2006 | Posts: 554

hey KG, nice report. it damn sure feels good when you've got that energy flowing and you're able to just approach ANYBODY you want. you actually do feel like a super saiyan. You've actually got me pumped for going out tonight. peace.
Sp!ke
____________________
"no one is taller than me"

- me
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#2
KesaGatame

KesaGatame

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/02/2007 | Posts: 547

Sp!ke, glad to get you jazzed up my man, I hope you get em good.

TONIGHT:

Party bus to a club up in the city.

I go over to my boy Andrew's place around 9:20 or so and I roll in and see a few of my boys. There are a few chicks too, but they are all gfs of the dudes - except for two who were like 6.5s. I sorta chatted them up but they were hammered and it was whatever, I met the rest of the dudes in the house, they were cool guys.

I'm still a little bit in my head but I'm chillen and having fun jamming to some tunes - and finally we all load into the bus and go to his the city.

The bus ride is long but i'm having fun catching up with some people.

New people rolll in, 1 dude and 3 girls. They go to the way back. I roll back and meet them all except this one girl.

This blonde chick is like "Oh, Dan?! I don't liek guys named Dan." Then I went into this whole thing how I don't like girl's who's name starts with "A" (like her) and I made up some BS story to go along with it. I told her we were on bad terms and its a shame because she's kinda cute. When she flirted with me I'd be like "aaah you can't be doing that, don't tampt me now you know we're on bad terms" and basically just fucking around.

This bus trip was the first time I've drank in about 3 months. I got a little tipsy, but fuck it felt like it paid off in certain ways, as much as I wish I could cultivate that exact feeling and mindset without booze (I've done it before, but alcohol just have that instant effect).

I walk into the club and the first hottie I see is in a 4 set, 3 girls 1 guy. I just walk up and start talking bullshit. I introduce myself and roll right up. I then meet ehr friends. Then I strait up drag her ass onto the dance floor no questions asked. We dance for a good amount of time but her friend drags her off - it wasn't a bullshit dance session it was fun and sexual, but at the same time I know I always have areas to improve and that if I was really smooth I could easily have hooked up with her on the floor.

I then dance with some other chick, but her friend is cuter so I switch off. I'm having a blast running things, just feeling great and spreading that fun all around this new group of girls. They run to the bathroom, so do I fuck I have to go. I catch them back on the floor but the one I was with tells me she has a boyfriend. She's a cutie... I tell her I'm not boyfriend material. Probably should have just kept dancing hard with her (yes?), but I went off to find other girls pretty quick despite the vibe I had with this chick.

I bounced around the club and did goofy things like cha-cha between girls and then start slow dancing with one of them for fun. Or I'd just roll up behind a hottie and bump with her (never really works, but its pushing my comfort zone and damn if shes hot I'll fucking grind on it).

The night rolls out, I get back on the bus. The girl I didn't talk to last time is alone in a seat. I sit next to her and she talks about how all these older mexican dudes were all over her the whole night. Haha! I shat up the girl who I'm on "bad terms" with, she's flirty. To make her jealous I kiss the hand of the girl I'm sitting next to - who's also a real cute girl.

I tell her I'm going to find food and bring it back to our nest. I get some chips. We eat some - I don't like chips much. For the last chip, I ask her if she's ever seen 'lady and the tramp' and I hold the chip in my mouth. She eats it. We both drink a little water then commence making out pretty hard on the bus - I break it. We talk more about who we are and what we're up to in college, then more makeout. I get her number as she gets off the pparty bus. I send her somethign dumnb so she knows my # and she responds immediately, I'll be setting a day 2 with her real soon.

PROS:
-Booze was used as a tool and I genuinely enjoyed it - still prolly won't drink for another 3 months
-Basically approached and danced on every girl I determined I wanted to dance on
-Got ballsy and took initiativ eon the bus to get physical and playful with the cutie

CONS:
-There were a few tiems I DIDN'T dance with girls I wanted to dance with, maybe they looked like a tough set or w/e. It doens't matter, just get used to action ALWAYS

Lessons learned:
-State can always turn around, always, and ANY unexpected random set can turn into solid gold
-Act on every impulse (every legal one, anyway) with girls, start conversations, grind, escalate, EXPRESS that intent. RAAH!
__________________
Howl at the Moon.
"Don't get it twisted..." NYC Bootcamp with Ryan, December 2009


Life Experiment
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#3
KesaGatame

KesaGatame

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/02/2007 | Posts: 547

LAST NIGHT:

New bar in town, had to check the place. 

I pick up my boy Lu - we're having a killer time jammin out in the car, pick up my boy Mike - we show up around 11:50pm.

Not crowded, but there's some fun people in the house. I neglect to open the first set as swiftly as possible, but I see a bunch of people I know and we all start catching up. I'm not feeling totally in the zone, but I start opening random sets. Nothing's hitting too hard but whatever.

Some chick who knows my brother is working there and tries to get me to buy some drinks. I tell her I'm driving and she tries to show her costume off to encourage me to spend money. Its funny, she's trying to be all playful and I'm slapping her ass and whatnot. She gets closer and I tell her that her and I aren't like this, we're just friends. I draw a line with my heel and tell her not to cross it. She does and I slap her ass again. I'll see this chick around.

Then as we're dancing in this circle some fucking superfly blonde jumps in and starts doing the worm. Its hot she's got a dress on. I start almost working Shock and Awe (those were the days...) with this chick. I tell her I'm conservative and that I only hold hands for the first few months of dating a girl even if I like her. Then I kiss her cheek and I act like it was her attractiveness that MADE me do it. Haha we're both geeking out at this point.

She roams around to do some things because she works there, then she comes back while I'm chatting up her tall brunette friend (who is literally the hottest girl in the venue, fucking slamming. I told her this, too, thats how I opened). I bring the blond into the talk and bust on her for never kissing me back. She grabs my head and smacks one on my cheek, then reaches into the bar and feeds me a cherry. I tell her I've developed feelings for her. Now the two hottest chicks in the venue are laughing and having a great time. 

Then I made the mistake I think I always make: Not qualifying before grabbing the number.

I realize that if you're in that GOLDEN place (nimbus), you don't really need to qualify because you EMANATE the fact that ur having a blast and aren't needy - but I wasn't quite nimbus-ed.

I tell her I'm going to see her again, she's like "yeah blah blah come by and see me here tomorrow night." I didn't jump on this and just get the # right away, I hesitated, then as she went off to get to doing her work. I holler at her and ask her how adventurous she is on a 1 to 700 scale (a little late on the qualifying, now... but hey). She's like "hold on let me get to you in a sec I gotta get these glasses" and she starts hustling around the bar doing work.

At this point I realize that I've fucked myself a bit, but hey i've had WAY bigger comebacks. 

I tap tap before I leave and I grab her #. My boy is outside in the window pointing at her then giving me the biggest thumbs up ever. He does it blatantly and she sees it but she thinks its super funny (he's a really chill dude). 

I shoot her the "same night" text which went like:

"get home safe, polka dots. - Dan"

No response but whatever. Tonight will be glory as well. So will tomorrow night. 

Rah rah shish boom bah

-Dan
__________________
Howl at the Moon.
"Don't get it twisted..." NYC Bootcamp with Ryan, December 2009


Life Experiment
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#4
KesaGatame

KesaGatame

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/02/2007 | Posts: 547

LAST NIGHT:



^ Ballin song of glory.

Rolled out with my boy to this club in town. Costumes galore, lots of cute girls, the place was basically empty except for the dance floor.

I got in and my friend started catching up with someone he used to know. I had the hit the floor.

I walk over to the floor and just start walking into the pit, but I'm not approaching. I'm not even grinding on random girls from behind. Its almost aimless, I can FEEL the forces that are holding me back from being who I want to be and doing what I want to be. 

GAH, its lame, and I'm literally thinking of hitting this house party, but then I just decide and start dancing with chicks. I open a few sets and meet some people, but it doesn't turn into dances. 

Then I walk around a little more, still feeling held back and in my own dome. I open a few more sets. Then a few more, then a few more.

Then I get goofy with friends. For some reason this drags me into state every time. I basically joke with them and tell them some dumb and funny shit I'm about to do with some chick, then its like an inside joke the whole time its happening and even if I fail I just high five and laugh before hitting up the next girl. I met some brittish kids and I did this with them for a little while.

Then I start doing this thing where I walk sideways into random herds of women and start slow dancing with one of them randomly. This of course doesn't stay slow dancing for long.

Then I start randomly dancing from behind on this super hot blonde girl. All her friends are super bangin. I start dancing with a few of them. This one girl is dressed up like a boxer - she's the flyest girl in the place.

I tell her "I feel so bad for these other girls in the club right now."
She asks why
"Because they have to be second place... like... look at you"
She's all like "Nah you're just saying that, cmon"
I'm like "no seriously you're fucking hot"

Then I start dancing with her. She is facing her friends as this happens and she's laughing with them, then they pull her away. All about closing the gap, it migth be funny to her now but it wouldn't be funny if she came back with me. Wouldn't be funny at all. Except maybe the stuff I'd do to her with maple syrup. Other than that its serious. 

I start doing the slow dance with some chick but she's not that hot and her rhythm is off. Then I see some chick I haven't seen in a while - she used to date my friend. I am in killer state at this point (not quite FULL NIMBUS but up there). Her friend who is usually a to me is SUPER open to me. I start dancing with one of her friends who has big boobs. We're dancing and catching up, then they go get a drink.


I'm walking through the crowd and I see this girl who I can't even describe. So gorgeous, about 5'4", full rack, pretty face, athletic body, sharp eyes. 

I walk up to her no words - at this point I'm fully nimb-a-tized with nimbussy awesomeness. I grab her hand while I make peircing eye contact with her, I feel GREAT and all I am thinking about is how much I want her little body all to myself. Ugh she's so hot. She's taken back, I start dancing with her. She tells me she doesn't dance when she's sober, I tell her I'm sober too. She kinda walks towards her friends but I am persistent and dance with her. Then we have a little dance off thing. Then she walks over to her friends, I meet them. I loose track of them.

I dance with a few other girls.

Then out of nowhere I see the super-hottie again. I go up and talk to her, she's engaging me a lot more, asks some questions. I tell her I'm leaving but that I want to see her again. She's in boston but I'll be up there in a few weeks. I didn't qualify her before getting her number, I was basically like "Look, I'm not going to leave you here looking like this and just want to my car. I'm not gay."

Because of the golden state, it still came across strong as opposed to other times I've gotten the number without qualifying. I kiss her on the cheek and tell her I'll catch her later. So hot... UGH!

Then I go to some house party that's O.K.. Fuck around, meet some other girls, etc...

At the house party I get in a convo with this fucking cutie but my mind doesn't leave friendly land - so we have a nice platonic conversation of lame-ness. We had fun but the filters didn't allow for expression of the fact that I want my dick in her.

I see this other chick who I met  a year ago. Real cutie and a half. As soon as I see her we're super flirtatious and all over the place. Then at some point she's talking to someone else and I feel myself becoming help back - the VOICE enters "wait, don't talk now she won't want to be interrupted." Fucking voice. This one little hinderance kept me from expressing the steady stream of manliness I had going before, I was in my head.

Night ended fine.


LESSONS:

-Any shitty night can turn into an awesome one 
-Any awesome night can turn chode-ish, potentially
      -(summary: state is a variable)
-I am capable of walking up to the hottest girl in the venue feeling great - and proceed to move things forward with her
-The hotter the girl the better my game gets
-Any time you wonder what to say or do, or you hold yourself back - you are fucking yourself
-Girls want a guy who doesn't have to calculate, a guy who feels good and acts on his own intentions
__________________
Howl at the Moon.
"Don't get it twisted..." NYC Bootcamp with Ryan, December 2009


Life Experiment
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#5
KesaGatame

KesaGatame

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/02/2007 | Posts: 547

 LAST NIGHT:

Before the night began, I was in a Health Psychology class learning about the keys to bahavior change, and different ways that the medical field uses to leverage people towards a healthier, better life for themselves. I started applying these ideas to game (might make a thread about it, it was good stuff) and it got be juiced to push past internal barriers.

Truth be told, I will soon get into Positive / Performance Psychology for grad school, and I want to INNOVATE in the areas of emotional control / regulation, peak performance, behavior change, and goal setting / acheivement. Seeing this vision in front of me made me get strait up PUMPED to go out last night. 

In Sport Psych terms, I was less motivated by what I DIDN'T want (even more nights without sex, continued AA, limited selection with women), and more focused on what I DO want (more crazy sex adventures, more ballsy fun approaches, a glorious outward expression of excitement). I didn't feel PUSHED to go out by my "don't wants," I felt more "pulled" into the night club by what I do want. My mind's eye twinkled with images of women, fun, sex.

THE CLUB:


I walk in and see my friend and his girl. They're cutting it up and having a grand time, so I decide to do the same. I bust out some moves and then walk up to a circle of girls and start a dance off. I like this one girl's hips, she's a fucking cutie and a half. So I start picking on her a little while I chat up the rest of the group. She doesn't seem into it, whatever. 

I dance around until I find this chick dancing on my friend's girl. He gets his girl I get this new girl, but she bounces pretty quick. Again, whatever, this is how the momentum builds! The night is so young! I'm just peeking all the other fucking SLAMMIN' girls in the venue. I dance with this other chick for a sec but it ends.

Then I see a girl I've known for a long time, her best friend is this little adorable 5'1" girl, such a cutie and with sweet curves on her too. She seems like fun and we start dancing. We start really getting into it and I make out with her, then pull away a little and keep dancing tight. Spin her around, more dance, spin again, make out. She's grabbing my hips and pulling herself in tight, then randomly when she's facing away from me she bounces with her friend. 

At this point I'm opening almost at will (still get stuck at some points but I'm mostly just acting on intention), and I dance with this other cutie. Her friend liked me though, and kept pulling her away, she kept pulling me along tho, because she wanted me. She resists, but then comes back to me to dance - and she dances well though she keeps doing it facing away from me (lame). Eventually her friend literally YANKS her away from me and they LEAVE. Whoooaaa. What the fuck. I should have at least grabbed her arm and gotten a number.

Then I see the first cutie I was dancing with but she kinda looks away from me like "ugh" and honestly I let it get to me. I dance near her but I don't take initiative and just grab her again. I get in my own head a little and don't take the action. I start doing a dance-off with my friend but I don't just take her over. Lame. There's no harm in going for it again.

At this point I've been on the floor with one chick or another for a few hours - bouncing around like crazy and dancing like a fool. I open some random chick while she walks by, drag her to the floor, shes kinda cute, but her friend is slammin. I grab them both and then switch off. I switch a couple times but stay with the super cute one. We're having a blast and doing all these funny / sexual moves, but at the same time the energy isn't low and sexual enough to lean in and pull her in to make out - its too bouncy and "fun." I try to set the tone and take it to a more sexual "just us on the dance floor" feel, but she doesn't pull in, and in a bit she ends up bouncing. Again, its whatever, there's so many hotties out there at this point.

I follow this one chick to the floor but she's on her phone and I stand stuck, some chick is like "get out of here." I grab some other random chick and dance with her. Make out. 

The club closes, get the last girl's number. 

Was gunna hang with her and her friend but I have to drive these other drunk chicks home and by the time I call the last girl she's prolly passed out. fun adventure for sure.

CONCLUSION:

-They all want you to close, they want you to make out with them, they want you to take them and ravage them.
-The way into state is to act on your intentions over and over and over and eventually you hit that groove where you're on, where you're mind goes "YES I do want this, and I can take this, lets DO IT"
-All conversations lead to DANCE FLOOR, make it physical
-After dancing with a chick for a bit and making out, take her off the dance floor and get to know her a little while you get a drink, this lets some actual human bonding happen in addition to the grinding - this way chicks don't just wander off
-When you're in state, you ONLY think of what you WANT and you see every opportunity to get it
-I'm pumped to hit dance floors!
__________________
Howl at the Moon.
"Don't get it twisted..." NYC Bootcamp with Ryan, December 2009


Life Experiment
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#6
KesaGatame

KesaGatame

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/02/2007 | Posts: 547

LAST NIGHT:

Headed out to a local bar to celebrate my 22nd a little late. 5 days late, whateva.

I walk in, find some people I know and catch up for a sec. There is a BIG part of me that thinks I should be approaching when I step in the door, like BAM. However, this doesn't alwasy happen.

Anyway, I'm catching up with friends but not doing much cold approaching. Smoking girls are walking by and I'm not doing much about it. I open one set, fades, another set, some dudes try to bully me, meh. Allgood on to the next.

I'm pretty rockin in terms of feeling good and bouncing energy with my friends.

Some chick is trying to get through to the bathroom. This girl is a 9.5. SLAMMIN. Model material - taller - long brown hair. I tell her that I'm the bathroom patrol and can't let her in. Stupid banter ensues.

"I'm Dan by the way."
"Oh, I'm (I forget)."

I felt real when I said it, like I was totally cool with putting myself out there and totally fine about being pretty honest that I thought she was fucking hot. Consequently it hit - when you come from that place it does.

We talked more but part of me wanted to let her into the bathroom even though she wasn't asking aobut it anymore (can anyone say internal barriers?), and so she shuffled through and I didn't end up catching up with her - only because I started chatting up with lebanese girl. I had met her before and facebooked her but I didn't really remember much of it. She's got a cute litte fashion sense and a nice ass - fun girl too.

We chat for a while, I slow dance with her a little to joke around, claw her in a few times - we joke back and forth. I tell her she only likes guido dudes and goth dudes, she's freakin out saying that she doesn't.

The night comes to a close and I tell her we're going dancing soon and get her number.

There was also this chick from Mississippi who was a smoke show and a half. I told her I like girls who wear glitter and introduced myself. She started talking about my appearance, somehow we ended up holding hands. I saw her leave while I was talking to lebanese girl, though (well... priorities).

Decent night overall, nice action in-set but getting in-set was sorta lame.

LESSONS:

-If there is that ONE set you don't approach all night, you will kick yourself when you get home. Approach them.
-Always leverage friends into committing yourself to do BALLSY stuff and to do CRAZY amounts of approaches.
-Don't go to the restaurant afterwards, go to the afterparty with the fucking babes (don't waste time in fruitless areas)
__________________
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"Don't get it twisted..." NYC Bootcamp with Ryan, December 2009


Life Experiment
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#7
KesaGatame

KesaGatame

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/02/2007 | Posts: 547

 SICK OF BULSHIT:

Yeah, I'm polarizing it. I do accept reality and I love it regardless, but I'm calling this AA exactly what it is: BULLSHIT.

I have made a point to do ONE direct approach per day. Just ONE. I want to walk up to a girl, tell her I had to meet her because I think she's cute, and hit conversation. Even if I BOMB, it would be an awesome step and I'd feel great about the attempt, I know it. It would feel awesome!

I see a few hotties, my brain says "not now, not now."

I see one cutie walking past me with ear buds in, my mind says "not now."

I see a super fly chick walking in front of me to her car, I walk up behind her and pretend to be talking loudly on my cell phone so that she knows I'm there and I'm loud/assertive before I approach her. I walk right past her, then "work up the balls" to turn around and ask her for directions. Then I tell her she's cute and shake her hand, she basically ignores the comment and tells me she only knows the general whereabouts of the building I tell her I'm trying to find. I'm like "okay yeah I'll find it over there, tata."

Nothing, no assertive cold read, no nothing!

But my mind shuts be off, I can't seem to do it. Honestly, I have SO MANY aspects of my life where I can seem to push through fear, but here its not the same - my belief in myself doesn't seem to be there. It might be that this step is TOO far past my comfort zone. I don't believe that, I really don't. 

I will go back to using the carrot AND the stick to motivate myself - here's what I'll do if I don't approach direct that day I'm on campus:

-No eating food until 8pm
-No favorite food: peanut butter
-No hot shower: luke warm max

Bam. Hey I mean, I feel good about life and everything, but I can't have this shit holding me back from meeting GORGEOUS women on a regular basis. The women on my campus are fucking amazing.

PLUS:

I'M DOING A BOOT CAMP SOON!!!! (December 18th, I believe).

I want to be done with AA, it is such a huge deal to be to totally get over this fear. To conquer it would serve as one of the biggest benchmarks in my development - it would release so much potential. AAAH!

Tonight I'm going to go out. I know its Monday, but whatever I have to approach, I have to, I want these girls in my bed and I want my potential to be released. I will approach 5 girls tonight with "Hi, I'm Dan, I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you." I will get used to that.

I'm also going to write a post soon about using psychological ideas of behavior change into game. Keep an eye out for that. 

Burning,
-Kesa
-Kesa
__________________
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"Don't get it twisted..." NYC Bootcamp with Ryan, December 2009


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#8
KesaGatame

KesaGatame

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/02/2007 | Posts: 547

DAY TIME:

So I'm on campus today meeting with a professor and I'm TOTALLY in my head aobut how I haven't been approaching girls and acting on my vision and ideals. Total negative thought loop hardcore, my mind mulled over thoughts of rejection and how dumb I was for not acting. It was a catch 22 of negative BS in the background.

Despite this, I felt pretty good, I was having fun conversations left and right but my mind kept saying "yeah, but you won'r be able to show intent and be a man with these girls."

I was in the library and I didn't approach this one SUPER hottie sitting in the corner, it burned me.

I was walking through another academic building and briefly chatted up the girl behind the counter but didn't invite her to a party or anything, that burned me too.

I asked some sorority chick for directions but didnt tell her she was cute and invite her out.

I guess the fury built....

I next approached this girl on a bench about getting directions (I know, its an EXCUSE to open, a ROUTINE. I don't like it either but I had to leverage myself). She looked confused and didn't give me anything. She said she didn't know where it was. I say she must be a freshman. She said "no, I'm an exchange student." She tells me shes from Germany, I talked to her about my trips over there.

Then I qualify her about how Germans just study and don't party, she says no she partys pretty hard. I tell her about some toga party (made it up, another little excuse - I will get away from this stuff) and I grab her number. We're vibing well at this point and I MADE A POINT not to come across like "HEY, I'm platonic man. I think we can be friends because I don't have the balls to fuck you, so lets party like we're buddies!"

I made a point to tell her I'm looking to see her again because she seems cool. Strait up, WTF be a man, right?

BAM I walk into another building on my way to my car. I see the back of some girl studying and her outfit looks cute. I say excuse me and ask for directions. At this point, though, I'm feeling fucking good, really fucking good. She doesn't know where the place is. I says he must be a freshman, she says she is. I cold read her major, but I'm wrong. We talk about where she's from cuz its close to where I'm from.

This girl is fucking cute. The german girl I'd basically only fuck for her accent, but this chick is like a REAL cutie. While I'm talking to her I'm thinking about how cute she is, and my smile is one of TOTAL ease and confidence - it glows through. We chat a bit more and I cold read her job and get it right (she works at a coffee shop). She laughs. I tell her she seems like a cool girl and I know of a party going on this weekend (made up the party, I'm sure I'll find one tho). I strait up tell her I'd want to see her again. Didn't seem needy, seemed qualified.

She was like "well, I'll think about it." I instantly say "Hah, you'll think about it?!" I'm smiling at this point. "What, are you gunna draw up a pros and cons list?!" We laugh a little. I tell her I'll get in touh with her and TELL her the pros and cons. I grab her number. I hug her, I'm feeling good, I walk out. Random mofo's studying are like "who's that kid?"

Then on my way to my car I ask some random dude if he knows people into MMA. I'm advertising for my Jiu Jitsu academy. Initially he's like "not really bro." Then I talk to him a bit about the school and the fact that poeple don;t know aobut us becaus ewe can;t hang flyer on campus. Turns out he's a crew team guy and knows LOTS of people who want to cross-train.

On fire now.

I didn't allow myself to eat peanut butter until I approached like a man during the day.

Granted, I used an "opener," but I was happy with that today, I'm making steps and now I have day 2s to set up!

Eatin PB now, reading RSD. Love it.

TAKE HOME MESSAGES:

-Push through and act, change your physiology and just GO - that is the way to killer state, it is the way out of self-defeating self-talk
-When your mind is only attuned to GLORY (sex, meeting fun girls, chatting them up, being ballsy, having fun), you ARE glory, and girls notice it.

-Kesa
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Howl at the Moon.
"Don't get it twisted..." NYC Bootcamp with Ryan, December 2009


Life Experiment
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#9
KesaGatame

KesaGatame

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/02/2007 | Posts: 547

 LAST NIGHT:

Real brief summary. Walked in pretty well out of state. Got on the dance floor. Shared some fun energy iwth people. 

This one group of dudes were SO brilliantly value giving, then were daning in circles and being awesomely fun, chicks were lining up to grind the fuck out of them. They were pulling me into their circle while they were jumping up and down - pushing me at chicks in a friendly way - it was hilarious. I've never seen anything like it, they brought the club energy up and made action happen, and werent dicks to anyone, they were spreading the party big time.

Still a bit out of state but a tried to dance with about 6 girls or so, danced for a bit with 2 or 3, and danced for a few songs with this SUPER FLY chick in my psychology classes.

By approaching and getting turned down I build state, by approaching and succeeding i build massive state. approach = state. no approach = lame state.

TODAY:

Walked around campus a little lame, I had the some in"cant"ations running through my mind.

What happens is, every time I see a cute girl my mind goes "you COULD act if you were the man, who cares if you fail?" Then I don't act on that opportunity and my mind goes "you see? Damn you can't do this stuff!"

I notice that when I nut up I feel on top of the world because I life to those ideals. Today I didn't approach any girls during my normal campus walks to classes, but I was committed to approach and after my last class I roamed a bit and approached this one chick for directions with very high energy. She was receptive and taken back. I told her she was cute and she was flattered. She walks with me for a bit and we exchange some fun facts a bit, not TOO sexual but up-beat.

Then she goes to her class and I don't stop her and get her number. This girl is CUTE, too, damn. At least I made the upbeat approach but thats not worth much for me, I didn't feel great about it, I am consistently getting better at SHOWING my intent and that momentum isn't going to stop even though I wasn't 100% gold today.

_____

gotta jet, time to hit the club tonight!
-Kesa
__________________
Howl at the Moon.
"Don't get it twisted..." NYC Bootcamp with Ryan, December 2009


Life Experiment
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#10
KesaGatame

KesaGatame

Respected Member

Join Date: 01/02/2007 | Posts: 547

 TONIGHT:

Must be brief here I'm way tired and getting up early for university stuff:

Killer time in my night class at the university, ran the show, built crazy tension with the girl next to me, had a blast the whole time.

I was supposed to meet a friend at this place in prov but when I got there they were at some other place. Whatever I decided to stay.

I'll break it down into a few quick bullets:
-When I open with energy and just dance and have a blast, chicks open right up and it offers value.
-When I don't dance with them things become 'weird' very fast - just pick one girl in the crew and dance.
-There is sometimes lots of tension not to act, but the irony is that ACTION makes me feel great regardless of result, but my fears still hold me in some of the time
-Tried dancing with maybe 6ish girls, danced for real with one girl
-I set the ONE big objective of opening with "I need a girlfriend for the next 5 minutes" - didn't accomplish this
-I'm not giving myself food tonight 

To wrap up here:
-of course I can't settle for bullshit from myself.
-at the same point, I refuse to see this area of my life as a "problem," I view it as a realm of never ending improvement
-I want to set the example for behavior change and human potential and I will continue to push the envelope

-K
__________________
Howl at the Moon.
"Don't get it twisted..." NYC Bootcamp with Ryan, December 2009


Life Experiment
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