THE FORUMS

August 28th, 2014
Awesome article - Male Affection Deficit Disorder (MADD)
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Bjorn89

Bjorn89

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Join Date: 07/27/2008 | Posts: 227

 This is by no means my article, but it's article of my coach... it pinpoints alot of what rsd calls "expressiveness and emotional freedom"


Quote:

There are many examples of how men get deprived of affection throughout their lives. In my opinion this leads to an over-reliance on ONE source of female affection making it difficult for men to maintain successful relationships.

Macho Culture

I spent a few months in Buenos Aires, Argentina. When men greet each other there they kiss on the cheek. There is also lots of hugging and kino between males. At first I thought this was a bit strange but I got used to it. Here in the United States if you greet a man with a hug or kiss you will probably get called gay.

Male Friends

Between guy friends there is always this underlying theme of homophobia. Whether it be showing your feelings, talking about your relationships, or not drinking your beer fast enough, guys will make fun of each other for not being tough enough. The most analysis you will get out of most guys when you ask them about a failed female relationship is “it is what it is bro”.

Women on the other hand are very affectionate with their friends. They talk about everything, especially relationships. They hug each other, kiss, say I love you and even share a bed together. God knows what else (wink).

Fathers and Sons

It seems like most dads I know don’t tell their sons that they love them all too often. At least I don’t remember my dad saying “I love you” that often to me. Sons also seem to get less physical affection from dad overall. This not only reduces the childs overall affection, it reduces dads. When I become a dad one day I will make it a point to be verbally and physically affectionate with my son.

In contrast usually daddy’s little girl gets tons of physical affection. Of course there are plenty of sisters who don’t get along, but the ones that do seem to be very affectionate with one another. Brothers, not as much.

Male > Female affection: considered normal
Female > Female affection: considered normal
Male > Male affection: considered gay

I Love You, Man

So I ask you. How is your relationship with your brother, your father, your son and your male freinds.

Now I’m not saying you have to go around hugging men or telling your guy friends that you love them, but I think you get my point. The fact that women have such an upper hand in the affection department is a huge advantage in their relationships with men.

Women can’t quite understand why a guy is so willing to do/agree to anything (her agenda) just to keep getting her pure female affection. They are puzzled as to why some guys are so needy for their comfort, caress and understanding. But I‘m pretty sure they’re not complaining when they consider what they get out of it.

Women have such a variety of affection in their lives, that the affection they get from their boyfriend is sweet, but it’s really just one small piece in an overall lifestyle of affection. Remember, women get us hooked on their affection, not sex.

A man’s affection seems to get reduced even further once he gets into an exclusive partnership. A woman who is engaged or even married will still get lots of attention when they go out to a bar. It’s almost like they are single. Women can easily still rack up tons of orbiters and male friends no matter what their relationship status is. Whereas a taken man comes to rely more and more on his one and only source of affection. She now controls both your sex life and your affection life.

The lack of affection in other areas of your life leads to extreme neediness for affection from this ONE woman. You can’t be affectionate with your guy friends and you have to act manly at work. The only place you can hide from the cold harsh world is in the arms of your woman. Where you can give and receive affection without being judged. When no one is looking you let her call you "fuzzy bear" and you call her "shmoopy".

Yeah I know you’re a big tough guy, but you whimper like a little girl when your woman threatens to leave you. And you get really flustered when your one source of affection is upset with you. The toughest most emotionally closed guys in the world seem to be the most likely candidates to be eventually controlled by female affection.

I think the tough guy, homophobic culture actually helps women control men. No matter what strategy you use, from being more open physically and emotionally with all people to getting a second girlfriend, as long as you have affection variety in your life you will be less needy in your relationships with women.

Take care,

60

60yearsofchallenge.com
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#1

kdjs

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Join Date: 02/18/2009 | Posts: 41

Homophobia has biological roots. I, for one, seem not to be homophobic but I kind of understand the people who are. 
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#2
Getupa

Getupa

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Join Date: 12/21/2008 | Posts: 830

 well stated
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#3
Mick

Mick

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Join Date: 07/30/2007 | Posts: 70

This definitely puts any animosity toward other guys into perspective. Great post!
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#4
TableDance

TableDance

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Join Date: 07/08/2009 | Posts: 1988

Kinda gay!
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#5
Bjorn89

Bjorn89

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Join Date: 07/27/2008 | Posts: 227

TableDance wrote:
Kinda gay!
what chu talking about
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#6
Tasty

Tasty

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Join Date: 05/25/2009 | Posts: 536

This is great and i've realized this for awhile..
At first I found it incredibly odd and "homosexual" when my little sister would go to the restroom with her friends while one of them used it. I was like 10 - 12 y/o.
I've always noticed how female/female relationships are so close an intimate.. almost like they're in a relationship. Of course they're in a relationship, one of friendship.
I almost want to move to a country (places in europe.. south america where all the hotties are) for a few years so that I can be transformed into being really affectionate like that, even to near-strangers.

I have a problem with touching, holding, grapsing, massaging people I just meet and even aquaintances.
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#7
Kuz

Kuz

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Join Date: 09/05/2006 | Posts: 2661

what the fuck is this shit???

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#8
Bjorn89

Bjorn89

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Join Date: 07/27/2008 | Posts: 227

Kuz wrote:
what the fuck is this shit???


It's not gayness dude :) It's a form of affectionate loving, expressivness. Why do you get tense with other guys? Just giving a good hug, will mean alot for people, you know baby's die when they dont get any physical attention?
It's like a life force man, value giving. 

What is simpler then giving a simple hug or something to someone, pure value.
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#9
Kuz

Kuz

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Join Date: 09/05/2006 | Posts: 2661

ok, cool. Just don't hug me.

Thanx!
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#10
AÎM HÎGH

AÎM HÎGH

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Join Date: 07/25/2008 | Posts: 577

I am not afraid to express my affection towards another man! Anybody want to come wing with me?

No seriously though...the stuff you should be getting out of this article is about  men seeking affection more than women. Not men showing a lack of it towards other men....wtf guys?

This community sometimes scares me.
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