THE FORUMS
quite honestly, I've felt a lightness from my shoulders after writing that stuff out. I had this constatnly reappearing tension that I had been wondering where the souce came from.. I have trouble meditating although that could because I've just took up the practice two days ago...
Its appealing to believe that those things arent me, but the emotion created within me is just the pain body. although I dont want to think of it like that as a way to escape from it all. I can also look at each thing and find some way I've learned from it and grown from it. Though things like the mother problem are hard to learn from.
what is it that drives us to do these stupid things like steal for fun or manipulate others e motions... and feel good about it? What is the ROOT of all this? I want to know so that I/we can start there towards progress.
What I want is that little hollow feeling within that fluctuates in intensity to be filled to overflowing.. and I can give real value to the world as a by product of that filling. It might not be a by product of who I am but What I am.
Its appealing to believe that those things arent me, but the emotion created within me is just the pain body. although I dont want to think of it like that as a way to escape from it all. I can also look at each thing and find some way I've learned from it and grown from it. Though things like the mother problem are hard to learn from.
what is it that drives us to do these stupid things like steal for fun or manipulate others e motions... and feel good about it? What is the ROOT of all this? I want to know so that I/we can start there towards progress.
What I want is that little hollow feeling within that fluctuates in intensity to be filled to overflowing.. and I can give real value to the world as a by product of that filling. It might not be a by product of who I am but What I am.
__________________
The harder the belief structure, the harder the laws, the more negative emotion one feels for going against the law and against beliefs.
We set the rules to what is positive, and, what is negative.
There is no sin as such, all we do here will be of no importance when we die.
It is fucked up the power of guilt, it is so draining, a frikking parasaite,.... some people make you feel guilty for the same reason, part of this excersice is to forgive oneself and accept what we dont want to talk about with others, we realise all people have a baggage of a dark side, the most "correct" people are the ones having wars, bring the dark to the light.
We set the rules to what is positive, and, what is negative.
There is no sin as such, all we do here will be of no importance when we die.
It is fucked up the power of guilt, it is so draining, a frikking parasaite,.... some people make you feel guilty for the same reason, part of this excersice is to forgive oneself and accept what we dont want to talk about with others, we realise all people have a baggage of a dark side, the most "correct" people are the ones having wars, bring the dark to the light.
__________________
My youtube channell.
My favorite comedians.
Embracing your dark side.
Deft´s Guitar Covers Extravaganza.
.Fucking my way to Bliss.
My youtube channell.
My favorite comedians.
Embracing your dark side.
Deft´s Guitar Covers Extravaganza.
what the fuck is so dark about drugs?
I'll give you one: "[Anger] was an effective coping mechanism; being belligerent seemed more proactive than being sad and meek. I took refuge in it. It was like a protective carapace over my wounded slug soul... My version of reigning in Hell was attempting to exert control over everything, yet remaining fucked internally...My fear of abandonment came from knowing that I wasn't self-sufficient. I was terrified of being alone with myself, because I didn't like the person who
I had become... All I've ever cared about was getting mine, and getting over on people, and I ' m not proud of that. Yet, in some ways, it was that suffering, that anger, that allowed me to get where I am today."
I'll give you one: "[Anger] was an effective coping mechanism; being belligerent seemed more proactive than being sad and meek. I took refuge in it. It was like a protective carapace over my wounded slug soul... My version of reigning in Hell was attempting to exert control over everything, yet remaining fucked internally...My fear of abandonment came from knowing that I wasn't self-sufficient. I was terrified of being alone with myself, because I didn't like the person who
I had become... All I've ever cared about was getting mine, and getting over on people, and I ' m not proud of that. Yet, in some ways, it was that suffering, that anger, that allowed me to get where I am today."
__________________
Hai!!!
at times wanting other perspectives on things, which arn't possible when being sober.
__________________
Go big or go home small
[/FONT]
Go big or go home small [/FONT]
Wow... Finally I'm seeing some real people behind those user names... ;)
Things I can connect to, things that show that were all human, all having that dark side but at the same time all connected to the light.
Oh, and did anyone notice what were doing here? Jung, "accepting the shadow"? Tolle, "watch the painbody"? We're doing some healing here, gentlemen.
Just got reminded of another thing today which I will add now.
3. I (unconsciously) actively block myself from getting to know new people, because I'm frightened of people I don't know. Not only women, people in general. Can't say why, and it's so suble that I won't notice most of the time. It's so suble because I constantly avoid the fear/pain, by not going to places where I would meet new people, by arriving at university on time so that there is no time to socialize before the lecture starts, by not looking other people in the eye, by closing my body language so that nobody will talk to me.
Things I can connect to, things that show that were all human, all having that dark side but at the same time all connected to the light.
Oh, and did anyone notice what were doing here? Jung, "accepting the shadow"? Tolle, "watch the painbody"? We're doing some healing here, gentlemen.
Just got reminded of another thing today which I will add now.
3. I (unconsciously) actively block myself from getting to know new people, because I'm frightened of people I don't know. Not only women, people in general. Can't say why, and it's so suble that I won't notice most of the time. It's so suble because I constantly avoid the fear/pain, by not going to places where I would meet new people, by arriving at university on time so that there is no time to socialize before the lecture starts, by not looking other people in the eye, by closing my body language so that nobody will talk to me.
__________________
It's not about more, adding stuff.
It's about less, removing stuff that's holding you back.
It's about less, removing stuff that's holding you back.
Gseus wrote:
[/b]Oh, and did anyone notice what were doing here? Jung, "accepting the shadow"? Tolle, "watch the painbody"? We're doing some healing her, gentlemen.
[/b]3. I (unconsciously) actively block myself from getting to know new people, because I'm frightened of people I don't know. Not only women, people in general. Can't say why, and it's so suble that I won't notice most of the time. It's so suble because I constantly avoid the fear/pain, by not going to places where I would meet new people, by arriving at university on time so that there is no time to socialize before the lecture starts, by not looking other people in the eye, by closing my body language so that nobody will talk to me.
[/b]
[/b]
[/b]
I have the same issue. i'm not deathly afraid of people, its just an autopilot feeling I get towards meeting others. Unless I've gotten a sort of high enough energy level to where meetin the rush of meetin another person isn't as high.. I'll easily do it. Or when I'm super relaxed and have that feeling of curiousity and peace. Thats not very often though.
[/b]Oh, and did anyone notice what were doing here? Jung, "accepting the shadow"? Tolle, "watch the painbody"? We're doing some healing her, gentlemen.
[/b]3. I (unconsciously) actively block myself from getting to know new people, because I'm frightened of people I don't know. Not only women, people in general. Can't say why, and it's so suble that I won't notice most of the time. It's so suble because I constantly avoid the fear/pain, by not going to places where I would meet new people, by arriving at university on time so that there is no time to socialize before the lecture starts, by not looking other people in the eye, by closing my body language so that nobody will talk to me.
[/b]
[/b]
[/b]
I have the same issue. i'm not deathly afraid of people, its just an autopilot feeling I get towards meeting others. Unless I've gotten a sort of high enough energy level to where meetin the rush of meetin another person isn't as high.. I'll easily do it. Or when I'm super relaxed and have that feeling of curiousity and peace. Thats not very often though.
__________________
Gseus wrote:
[/b]Oh, and did anyone notice what were doing here? Jung, "accepting the shadow"? Tolle, "watch the painbody"? We're doing some healing her, gentlemen.
[/b]3. I (unconsciously) actively block myself from getting to know new people, because I'm frightened of people I don't know. Not only women, people in general. Can't say why, and it's so suble that I won't notice most of the time. It's so suble because I constantly avoid the fear/pain, by not going to places where I would meet new people, by arriving at university on time so that there is no time to socialize before the lecture starts, by not looking other people in the eye, by closing my body language so that nobody will talk to me.
[/b]
[/b]
[/b]
I have the same issue. i'm not deathly afraid of people, its just an autopilot feeling I get towards meeting others. Unless I've gotten a sort of high enough energy level to where meetin the rush of meetin another person isn't as high.. I'll easily do it. Or when I'm super relaxed and have that feeling of curiousity and peace. Thats not very often though.
[/b]Oh, and did anyone notice what were doing here? Jung, "accepting the shadow"? Tolle, "watch the painbody"? We're doing some healing her, gentlemen.
[/b]3. I (unconsciously) actively block myself from getting to know new people, because I'm frightened of people I don't know. Not only women, people in general. Can't say why, and it's so suble that I won't notice most of the time. It's so suble because I constantly avoid the fear/pain, by not going to places where I would meet new people, by arriving at university on time so that there is no time to socialize before the lecture starts, by not looking other people in the eye, by closing my body language so that nobody will talk to me.
[/b]
[/b]
[/b]
I have the same issue. i'm not deathly afraid of people, its just an autopilot feeling I get towards meeting others. Unless I've gotten a sort of high enough energy level to where meetin the rush of meetin another person isn't as high.. I'll easily do it. Or when I'm super relaxed and have that feeling of curiousity and peace. Thats not very often though.
__________________
This thread makes me feel even more superior to people.
Also I think "if I can do it, anyone can do it" about nearly everything. Like I'm the baseline, if you're not even at my level, sigh...
Also I think "if I can do it, anyone can do it" about nearly everything. Like I'm the baseline, if you're not even at my level, sigh...
__________________
Be cool + balls. - Kilo
Expression not impression. - Alex
Game is for chodes + Stop pretending to be a chode. - Ryan
Making Stockholm Dangerous || 30Day Celebration / again || How to properly Ghost Wing
Stockholm Crew || Just Do It || Music that should be on your iPod
Expression not impression. - Alex
Game is for chodes + Stop pretending to be a chode. - Ryan
Making Stockholm Dangerous || 30Day Celebration / again || How to properly Ghost Wing
Stockholm Crew || Just Do It || Music that should be on your iPod
I Noticed that i constantly ask friends about how they are doing with girls so i can give them advice....i think iam trying to feel superior.
__________________
I'M Richard James, Wench!
Ashura
Junior Member
Join Date: 05/15/2008 | Posts: 20
I feel the need to be the alpha male over a certain friend of mine who acts like an animal and whenever he copies somethign I do I get a litle high from it. I have a little desire to be the guy my friends look for women advice from because it makes me feel higher status, like to older one. Although they have the same problem.
When I have someone emotionally attached to me --like girlfriend-- and I do something for her that deep inside I actually don't want to do, but I don't have the courage to stand up for it and face the conflict at that time, then it gets repressed inside me. Some time later it explodes, and I rip them to shreds emotionally. I make them feel guilty as fuck, I connect illogical things to confuse them, I tug on every heart string... Even if they break down and cry I sometimes don't (can't) stop.
It's only recently that I've been come aware of this behaviour and its cause.
When I hear about guys not being able to win arguments with their girffriend, I scoff. I'm more of an expert at emotional manipulation than most women.
Other dark thing: there's a part of me that's acutally proud of that.
Pff, this goes pretty dark & deep for me :/