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September 1st, 2014
Dick going soft during sex - how do i clear my head?
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Showdown56

Showdown56

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/13/2009 | Posts: 116

So im the same guy who posted the thread about the dick size and self concious shit.

Anyways today i told the girl whos a 9 to chill, one thing led to another i had her ready to fuck, however my dick was soft, it got hard at some moments, but than it would go soft again, ive had this problem when fucking a girl before as well where after fucking her for like a minute, or less my dick just goes limp.

Ive attributated to being pretty much purely psychological cause i can masturbate for as long as i want staying hard for up to an hour, as long as im contantly stimulating myself, so i think at these times im really getting in my head or im being very axious or nervous of pleasing the girl. i was wondering some techniques to help clear ur head, and just be more int he moment and prevent this from happeneing?
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#1
PULS3

PULS3

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/25/2009 | Posts: 312

 Yay for performance anxiety sad
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1. Do not tell anyone about the seduction community or that you are a pick up artist, especially naturals and girls.
2. Your beliefs are your reality.
3. The pick up arts should enrich your life not define or control it.
4. There is no failure. Only feedback. And what you choose to do with it.
5. Avoid oneitis at all costs
6. Everyone is your friend.
7. Bros before hoes.
8. No technique is better then another.
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#2

Gray

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/24/2007 | Posts: 363

Radical Honesty.  Plow through the fear that she'll be freaked out by the truth.  If she's remotely cool, she won't.  Here's the truth; You think she's gorgeous and you want to be inside her.  Your body gets some anxiety before you have sex with someone new, and you want to get rid of it before you guys fuck each others brains out.  You want to see how long you can arouse her before you put it in.  Spend 20-30 minutes just kissing her, smelling her, sucking her breasts, squeezing her ass, running your hands up her sides, across her stomach, running your hands through her hair, fingering her, going down on her.  Let her do whatever she wants to you.  You mind will probably wander, but stay cool, and take it as a signal to devote ALL of your awareness to your SENSES.  

Fuck.  I just turned myself on.

Most performance anxiety is a control issue.  If you have anxiety, you mind spends most of the day figuring out ways to control it.  Sex is all about giving up control and just letting it flow.  Once you actually say what your feeling before trying to 'perform', you've not only gained control of your anxiety, but you've let go of enough your hidden thoughts that were blocking the good sensations in the first place.
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#3
Kirra

Kirra

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/01/2009 | Posts: 739

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#4
PULS3

PULS3

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/25/2009 | Posts: 312

Money Boy wrote:
I had the same problem. Start imagining getting them pregnant. Worked for me. 
wtf... lol.
__________________
1. Do not tell anyone about the seduction community or that you are a pick up artist, especially naturals and girls.
2. Your beliefs are your reality.
3. The pick up arts should enrich your life not define or control it.
4. There is no failure. Only feedback. And what you choose to do with it.
5. Avoid oneitis at all costs
6. Everyone is your friend.
7. Bros before hoes.
8. No technique is better then another.
9. The pick up artist is the exception.
10. You may break any of the above rules if you know why they are in place and are prepared to accept the consequences.
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#5
HanSoloUK

HanSoloUK

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/08/2008 | Posts: 352

same for me - especially for when using condoms.

viagra works

gonna try the pregnant thing now....
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I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
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#6

JohnG

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/06/2009 | Posts: 748

The pregnant thing works indeed, it acts as a turn-on, I like to tell my girl i am gonna come into her and we ll have a baby. It turns her on like crazy, and turns me on.
Usually what turns you on, turns her on and vice versa.
So do more of  these things that turn-on guys and girls in general :

- being very very slow
- being very relaxed, breathing slowly etc
- all your moves being slow
- lot of foreplay (not doing foreplay as a means to an end, but as an end itself)
- teasing
- touching each other very sensually
- lof of dominance : spank her, pull her hair etc. When you start to do these things to a girl, and she sees you are that type of guy she asks for more. (the 2 common things girls ask : to choke her, and to slap her face).
- dominance is also psychological, you teasing her, not giving , being slow will turn you on, and will turn her on.
- Being the prize is a huge turn on for me and girls IME (puting you cock on a pedestal)
- lack of condoms help a lot
- but usually just relaxing and slowing yourself down do the trick.
- viagra is good but cant be used every day
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#7

JohnG

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/06/2009 | Posts: 748

s@d wrote:
Damn, how the FUCK could you be in your head, while fucking a 9??
I simply don't get it.....
Actually, IME,  the more you want a girl and see her as a hotty, the more likely you are to be in your head (because less relaxed)  ( I talk about ONS), and the more likely you are to have problem to get hard. (or to stay hard)
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#8
JFM

JFM

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/13/2007 | Posts: 2236

Great thread....this is an issue about deserving and controlling.    That struck a chord..the comment about controlling.   Funnily enough there are guys that HAVE NO PROBLEM AT ALL being hard all the time due to controlling, because sex is pure compulsion ( the opposite of relaxation).     When sex is a way of being out of control ( all addictions) ,  it's never a problem being hard and "performing".      Like using porn compulsively....nobody seems to have a problem getting hard there.    Some guys can get so disconnected that sex is the same as porn.   It's one solution to getting and staying hard.

I had a hard time figuring this one out...seeing so many "naturals"  fucking girls constantly.    Most were not having sex...it was compulsion.  They were free due to being out of control.    Control is hell...and some kind of mood-alter is so freeing.   A guy who is not using sex for his addiction and is controlling is going to have problems ...but it's a better problem.   Because you have to be present and real to perform.   A guy getting hard fucking a girl in a bathroom is out of control and FREE ( like when you use coke...or get wasted as an addict...because you have to).      Until the next using experience.

The whole thing about control...and sorting out why these guys fucking 1000 girls were hard EVERY TIME .....is a breakthrough.    I mean who doesn't compare themselves to a guy who fucks 1,000 women and go..."wow...how does he do it".

The direction of this thread is more about another angle and solving the problem at it's root.  Control.


  
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“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”
- African Proverb
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#9
Showdown56

Showdown56

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/13/2009 | Posts: 116

 yea guys ive actually stayed hard when fucking 6/7's before but usually 8/9's (never fucked a 10) or just girls i care about i get really in my head i think and get anxiety or nervous about pleasing them and staying hard.
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#10
English Boy

English Boy

Senior Member

Join Date: 11/02/2008 | Posts: 201

yh dude read daniel rose sex god method, he goes on about immersion problems. I have the same problem so i m gonna try meditating and shit. THink about when you just wake up, thats when you are usually most present, and thats when you have a massive hardon (also due to circulating testosterone being highest in the morning - which i think helps with being present as high testosteronhe helps your abiulity to focus you attention in the now)
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