THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
I Have to SHARE~!
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Suspect

Suspect

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/24/2007 | Posts: 1237

Guys I've been doin great.

I'm not gonna lie, life has been rocky. I've gone through a lot, and admittedly a lot that I've gone through is self-created - but that's true for everyone! We have a huge capacity to hurt ourselves. It's sad. It's the state of humanity. But there's more to the story! I know a lot of you already know how important it is to embrace the paradox. How about this paradox: I have seen infinite. Seriously. The universe, reality, conciousness, it's all much more expansive than you could POSSIBLY comprehend. Admist all of this, so much of what we know, love, and experience is ultimately insignificant. The entire drama of life on Earth is playing out on a stage that is just a speck, or, as Carl Sagan so eloquently put it, "a mote of dust suspended on a sunbeam." Now, that's an easy fact to get depressed about. But you know what? I can't bring myself to do it. I can't be depressed like that. My absolute favorite paradox is that something so relatively small and so transient such as a human life, or even the entirety of life on Earth, can be so beautiful and so truly significant, even if all it amounts to is a flash in a pan. It's one hell of a flash. It's true. Relatively true, if you have the capacity to appreciate it, but also absolutely true, even if you don't have the capacity to appreciate it. I have come to truly believe that reality as I know it, and me, myself, as I know myself to be, are ultimately finite. That huge fact is the ultimate elephant in the room, the truth that lingers over everyone's shoulder. Unfortunately for those who have not been lucky enough to see the potential for beauty and appreciation in it, it can be the source of a lot of pain. I know, I'm rambling, but I just wanted to say - it doesn't have to be. You see what you want to see. Choose too appreciate what you are able to appreciate while you still have the capacity to appreciate it. There will come a day when, ultimately, life as you know it will end. Yet don't feel limited by that fact. We may be limited in the dimension of time, but in the dimension of conciousness we are not. You can tap into a source of infinite satisfaction every day. It is a deep well that literally has no bottom.

I am becoming a man. Like it or not, I have come to a point where life just really HAS to take on a deeper meaning. I'm bored of the same old shit. I can't find any purpose in superficial value systems, false personas, and living life like a zombie ruled by the mind that I inhereted. It might be tempting to underestimate what kind of an influence the history of human culture has on your experience of day-to-day reality - but just one singular example of how much power our environment has to shape our perception is language itself. Language truly is the most powerful drug. It moves nations. Everyone reading this speaks English, and for that reason alone has had their perspective molded by the history of the language. I have to come to realize that I must work WITHIN this framework on my quest for purpose and meaning - it is tempting to "want to go back", but as a wise old man once told me, memory is an illusion, just a record of an impression that was never completely accurate in the first place, and you can never go back to how things once were. You can only move forward. So your energy is best spent envisioning the kind of future you want to have, and most importantly working RIGHT NOW to create it. That's why we're all here, right? Because we had a vision of a life abundant with women, truly one of the most natural urges of all. Don't kid yourself - this helps everyone. This helps the human species. I know I have a tendency to over-generalize, but in this case I really feel as if I'm not. The quest of self-actualization is the most meaningful path for us to take at this stage of evolution as a species. The individual quest for self improvement is a microcosm inside the macrocosmic quest for self-improvement for the human species as a whole, and ultimately we are all connected. Life on Earth as we know it is a microcosm of the expansive impulse of the macrocosmic universe itself - and the pattern never ends. A world inside a world inside a world. I understand that what I'm saying is hard to comprehend. It's hard for ME to comprehend, let alone say. If I had to summarize it in a sentence, I would say - the world is as beautiful as you decide, and as meaningful as you make it. The potential for your experience of life is literally infinite. Infinite in the way that our minds are hardly capable of comprehending. Our minds are literally designed to break the infinite into finite parts. It is the finite that is an illusion. Infinity is the ultimate truth.

Do I find meaning in chasing anymore? Yes, and no. Ultimately my quest for lays was founded on an insane premise, a misguided attempt to connect to my purpose. Vague talk, I know. Simply put, I subconciously believed that the one thing I'd been missing my whole life was validation from women. I truly believed, deep within my core, in ways that I could have never even understood myself, that if I was adored by the girls who I felt rejected me my whole life, I'd be complete. Imagine my surprise when I DID manage to somehow get exactly what I always wanted - and do this day it kind of makes my head spin, wow, I have the capacity to be more attractive to women than I ever thought possible (but really that's not saying much, because I chronically underestimated myself). I could not fuck my way to a sense of purpose. Straight up. There is no salvation in sex. That does not make sex evil, or wrong, or in any way diminish the fact that is an awesome and significant part of life - but nonetheless it did fuck with my head. I went celibate, because I couldn't conjure the will to pursue sex only to experience the feeling of failure that comes with getting what you thought you wanted and still not feeling even one ioda better. In fact, at times, after getting what you want, you can feel worse. You can feel worse because suddenly you realize you don't even know how to get whatever it is that you've been chasing.

Thankfully, though, this change of priorities left a void - no longer feeling the need or even the desire to pursue sex in the way I once did, a new opportunity for meaning has crept into my life when I wasn't paying attention. Through blood, sweat, and tears, I have developed a killer social intution that has given me insights into people's struggles in ways that I never had the capacity to comprehend before, and I've been able to show love and support and help people in ways I never imagined were possible. I find myself moved to tears over people's pain, I see people greiving because the people they love are dying, and I realize how universal the pain is. I have a huge appreciation for life, as fragile as it is, and I do my best to share that appreciation with others even for as futile of an effort as it may feel at times.

I have thought a lot about the very valid perspective of guys like CuriousUno, and how he sees the absurdity in people's attempt to turn getting laid into some kind of cosmic purpose, and frankly I agree. BUT I agree because I've been down that road, and I'm not sure if I really would have the capacity to really take the lesson to heart had I not been. Furthermore, I feel as if I learned a lot and have plenty of wisdom to pass on to "the next guy." Meanwhile, I feel like I've just barely scratched the surface of what is an infitely deep topic, and that the rest of my life will be spent never understanding the magnitude of really anything - and that's not my goal. My goal is to appreciate and make the most out of life. Not to solve it.

So today, on my 25th birthday, I wanted to share with RSDNation, and all of you, that I truly love you all and have nothing but complete faith that we are moving in a positive direction as a group and as individuals. If you were hoping to learn something about success with women, I will give you something. I will tell you that it is simple. I won't call it easy, because it can be soul destroyingly brutal to expose your deepest wounds to the air like we tend to do when we pursue identity change - but faith will take you all the way. Faith, total belief, whatever you want to call it - if you draw a picture in your mind of what you want to acheive, and hold it there, you cannot HELP but act in ways congruent to accomplishing that thing. It is literally how our brain works. So dream big. Not big. HUGE. I literally spend at least an hour a day trying to imagine the most awesome thing I could possibly conceive of, total transcendence of pain for the entire human species and all of the world's problems being solved, and life expanding to fill the entire solar system, etc. Fantasy is food for the soul. I am now aspiring towards things so impossible that success with women has been trivialized. But it's the exact same path  I started on years ago, and women are still very much a part of it. I'm not sure I know how to put it into words. Just believe me when I say that you are MORE than capable of realizing your fantasies. In fact, you are capable of realizing fantasies you haven't even had the courage to dream yet. Don't give up. Seriously. Everything you've ever wanted is within reach.
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#1
Gseus

Gseus

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/04/2008 | Posts: 915

Beautiful, thank you man.
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It's about less, removing stuff that's holding you back.
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#2
SK1LLZ

SK1LLZ

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/01/2009 | Posts: 12

Words to live by....Amazing Post

Happy Birthday Suspect!
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#3
SK1LLZ

SK1LLZ

Junior Member

Join Date: 10/01/2009 | Posts: 12

Suspect i was reading some of you earlier threads and i have to compliment you on your vocabulary and overall writing style...not many people have that....i want to learn how to write as meaningfully as you
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#4
maddd0g

maddd0g

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/04/2008 | Posts: 918

I shed a tear dude.

No joke.

Made my night, thanks. Much love.
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Smile. :]
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#5
threesome

threesome

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/05/2007 | Posts: 792

Just started reading "the magic of thinking big", i find it very similar to your post. If you never heard about it get it ASAP.

THANKs for sharing. CHAMP!
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real sexting conversations to readNetworking is everything. The new level Weekly crazy stories and adventures. Infield Footage.  2010 Balls to the motherfucking wall. Any feedback will be appreciatted.
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#6
Butters

Butters

Member

Join Date: 05/18/2009 | Posts: 66

Gseus wrote:
Beautiful, thank you man.
+1
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#7
Muladosk8inhooper

Muladosk8inhooper

Respected Member

Join Date: 08/21/2008 | Posts: 431

This was awesome Suspect.

You are...basically the only guy on this set thats ever really pursued me and tryed to help me with difficulties i've had with girls, MULTIPLE times.

Dude, you are destined for extraordinary experiences and accomplishments considering the perspective you have of yourself, others, the world, this universe. To even have the fortune of cultivating such perspective is an incredible blessing in itself, so theres something else to make you even more grateful and appreciative of life :)

Keep thriving fam. I'm with you and everyone else =D
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Sayings remain meaningless until they are embodied in habits...

GOLDEN RULE= Whatever you feel, SHE feels.

"Don't be afraid to go out on a limb; that's where the fruit is."

"Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him."

[='Comic Sans MS']Knowing is not enough, we must apply.
Willing is not enough, WE MUST DO. ~Bruce Lee

What you do in the dark, will come out in the light. Remember that....Peace[/]
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#8
Vic Sage

Vic Sage

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Join Date: 02/13/2008 | Posts: 404

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#9

CuriousUno

Senior Member

Join Date: 07/03/2008 | Posts: 294

"I have thought a lot about the very valid perspective of guys like CuriousUno, and how he sees the absurdity in people's attempt to turn getting laid into some kind of cosmic purpose, and frankly I agree."

Just wanted to make clear that what I write does not suggest the 'absurdity' in people's attempt to turn getting laid into some kind of cosmic purpose.  I'm just curious as to why some people are so certain, even if they outrightly deny it verbally, that pursuing seduction will bring them fulfillment and happiness.  I want them to come out of their confusion and explain to me why they pursue this so vigorously.
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#10
LeftHand

LeftHand

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/12/2007 | Posts: 1104

Happy birthday suspect, cool that just a few days ago I spent a day dedicated to finding a similar ultimate goal and detailing every broad stroke in the process to get there.
I arrived at The Accention of Homo Sapiens: The species wide improvement of quality of life to the point of fullfillment and happiness. The means of which being widespread improvement of technology and further understanding of the human mind, "enlightenment" so to say.
Utopia like conditions for those who choose them seem like a real possibility within a few lifetimes and it blows my mind.
Here's to dedicating our lives to a cause that's truly worthy of the time spent.

Thanks so much for this man, truly inspirational.

CuriousUno: I can answer that, when you are coming from a place where happiness is few and far between and you are introduced to self help principals it isn't hard to start pursuing it with terrific zeal. It's a delusional emotionally driven need to save oneself and find an identity that creates that confusion you're talking about. These are some of the same reasons why cults form that's why it's easy for people to find paralells between them and rsd.
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"One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the
critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the
best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he
knows that every day is Doomsday"
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
FR's detailing my progression
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