THE FORUMS

December 9th, 2016
Beyond Game – 2 Years of Evolution as a PUA
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Crush

Member

Join Date: 06/22/2009 | Posts: 81

[before you dig in, this thread has a video of my game over the last 8 weeks http://www.rsdnation.com/node/133432]

This is a summary of my two years of journey in the "Game" until now. I'd really suggest this piece to any beginner / intermediate level guys. It will hopefully save you lots of time cutting through all the bullshit out there.

Anyways, enjoy.

Beyond Game – 2 Years of Evolution as a PUA


I’m sitting in the airport at Taipei, using one of the public computers. The internet cuts out. “Mine is broken. Do you have internet on yours?” asks the girl using the computer next to mine. She’s slim, about 5’10”, and very pretty. She’s stylish, bubbly, and obviously confident.

I used to think that to get a girl like this, I would need a special trick or line. I would run my best routines right away. If the pickup failed (which it inevitably seemed to do), I would blame it on some imperfection of my pickup structure, or some bad routine.

I’m a different man today though. No thoughts of routines even enter my mind. Instead, I’m just focused on the moment. I’m relaxed, and I just say whatever comes to mind. I go straight into “comfort”—I ask where she’s from, why she moved there, how she liked Thailand.

We chat for a bit, and she suggests coffee. I buy. As we delve into the conversation, it turns out she’s an actress and she’s been in a Chinese box office hit, That 70s Show, and on the OC. Serves me right for not knowing anything about pop culture I guess.

“You’re like, the coolest person I’ve ever met!” I say seriously, but with a hint of sarcasm. She pokes me and grins, “whatever!” A few minutes later we’re taking photos, trading contact info, hugging, and planning to meet up soon for a weekend in LA.

So what does my game consist of? Me. And it’s really that simple. Women are attracted to me because I’m a man. I’m honest, creative, confident, and unapologetic. And that’s really all there is. No one has ever needed more than that to be attractive.

THE BEGINNING and MYSTERY METHOD

I was the classic post-breakup basketcase. I had slept with like, 3 girls at that point. I had cheated in the relationship because I was unhappy and insecure. And I had done the breakup myself because I was afraid of the drama.

Wow. Looking back at that version of myself, no wonder women were not attracted to me. I was pretty much the essence of beta. I was emotionally reactive to everything. I wanted people to like me so badly! The funniest thing was, I had tricked myself into thinking I liked all these women around me. I wanted to sleep with them because they were cute college girls, of course but… like them? I see now, I never did. At the time though, their opinion meant everything.

After about a year failed romances, I found the game. “Here is the solution to all my problems!” I thought, “Neil just walks up to girls, says these pickup lines (/ magical incantations), and women fall into his bed!” I spent the next 6 months honing my routines, hammering down my delivery, and scaring the shit out of every girl on my college campus. I am downright embarrassed now when I run into girls from my college that I used to game then. I’m not sorry I did it—it was part of the process. But what a shitty way to go about meeting people! Regardless of good intentions, routine game is manipulative at best and deceitful at worst. You want a certain reaction from women (ie, attraction), and you manipulate your natural social interaction to do it. I don’t think it’s morally wrong, but I do think it’s not a good way to live.

I have a couple memories which are really representative of my experiences at that time. I remember spending about 5 minutes summoning the courage to approach this girl, but I finally did it. I opened; “hey ladies, what’s the sexiest foreign accent a guy can have?” And she responded, “Do you want to ask me this same question everytime I come here?” Wow.

After maybe about 3 lays in 5 months, none of which were particularly high quality, I started to think that I was just incapable of being attractive, even WITH the Mystery Method. As you can guess this sent my game to an all new low. I remember spending one night in Osaka crying and wandering around the streets feeling hopeless, all because some girl would not sleep with me a second time.

That’s not to say I didn’t have some fun—I did. I did have some great sex. I had my first SNL. I also had my first SDL—I met a beautiful girl at a bus stop, and had a flirtatious day of shopping with her, followed by a love hotel. We still talk. I met a handful of other wonderful women during this period.

THE HARD GRIND into RELAXATION


Like all things in my life, though, I was determined to power through the hardships. I can’t tell you exactly how much I went out, but judging from my FRs (yes, I chronicled everything), maybe 3 nights and 1 day a week on average for almost 5 and a half months.

I stopped getting blown out much, but I would just constantly get flaked on. I think I was personally responsible for about 10,000 women “suddenly catching a cold,” and probably contributed greatly to the Kansai Health Care Crisis of 2008.

Slowly… I started to give up. I wasn’t giving up on getting girls—oh no—but I was giving up on refining my routines. I stopped writing DHV stories. I stopped memorizing material. But “oddly”—it didn’t affect my game. Actually, I could not see this at the time, but the more I stopped trying, the more my game would improve.

This is an interesting fact that can be observed in other contexts as well. Men often remark “yes, as soon as I have a girlfriend, I become instantly attractive.” This is for a number of reasons, but one is that they generally stop attempting to get reactions from attractive women. They just act—which causes women to be actively influenced by the men. Ironic that you can never see that when it’s your own life.

After 4 months in Japan, I returned to the US as a much more attractive person. Despite the fact that I was working against the grain, I had simply been blown out so many times (and been laid enough) to stop caring so much. This made me relax… I started to learn how to enjoy my life.

Spending summer in my hometown, I had 4 or 5 wonderful lays, and number of other hookups that didn’t quite go the distance. I think my high score had risen to about 27.

I had my first Kyabakura girl at that time—she was studying abroad. Her and I are still very close and she stayed a week with me about a month ago summer (I’ll note she delightfully exclaimed “You’re so grown up now!”). I met her at the mall, and I took her swing dancing.

What’s interesting about my game at this time was that although I was no longer using hard routines, I was still “improvising”—ie, making up stories—to try and hit some “attraction switches.” What this really means, and what this was continually reinforcing, was that I believed that me, having a normal conversation, being myself, and being non-apologetic, would not be enough to make women attracted to me.

I will take a moment now and call out one of the dumbest, most counter-productive ideas that I read in the pickup world (and bought, hook line and sinker). In the Badboy Lifestyle book, it suggests picking random words from books, and practice instantly making up a story about that word.

Let me say this very clearly—women are not going to be attracted to you because you make up interesting stories. More often than not, any woman with a worthwhile brain will detect some hint of dishonesty (which was a major source of my flakes). Additionally, you’re reaction seeking. What’s wrong with just saying whatever is on your mind? With saying what you truly want to say?

Speaking the truth from yourself is ultimate confidence and humility—and above all, if there really are attraction switches, “confidence” and “humility” and are going to be the ones to hit.

To give you some contrast of “truth speaking” and “reaction seeking”, I remember I pretended to know everything about hosts and hostesses in Osaka to impress the Kyabakura girl. Today, I met this popular actress, who told me about years of cocktail waitressing—I stopped her mid-sentence, “wait, what’s a cocktail waitress?” I literally had no idea.

(Did she think I was stupid for not knowing? I doubt it. Did she think I was not classy? Also unlikely. I actually don’t care what she thought, but if she’s a normal person, she appreciated my wanting to actually know what she was talking about, and respected my humility.)

I started to see what direction my game had to go—but I felt like everyone in the community was so successful using routines! How could they be doing this, while I couldn’t?

I will say now, having talked to people who lived in Project Hollywood, much of what you read in The Game was not the case. I will leave it at that for now, feel free to ask me more.

SHUTDOWN and DEPRESSION

After my first summer of what I would really call a step in the right direction, I entered one of the hardest schools on earth. I spent on average, maybe 10 hours a day in the library. I still pulled out mediocre grades. I was exhausted.

To make matters worse, I was still wanting everyone to like me. I was in a new place with new people, and so I was constantly trying to get reactions—and still being completely beta. I think now what a shame it was that I acted to beta, and foiled a number of would-be relationships before they could happen.

Feeling once again as though “no one liked me” (which I’m entirely sure now was not the case), I spiraled into some pretty deep depression. I started stress eating and gained about 40 pounds. I stopped going out and meeting girls almost entirely. I wrote a blog during that time called “Pathetic Pickup”—here’s an excerpt;

Quote--
The end result was that I feel like shit. I feel low value. I feel rejected for myself as a “person” even though she’ll fuck me. I’m letting it affect me way too much…
I think about suicide every other day, although I wouldn't say I ever contemplate doing it. It's not a "no will to live" issue, not an attention wanting issue, but just a mix of apathy and a little pain. Feeling like I don't like things how they are, and maybe that if this is it then...
So what's so sad about my life? Nothing. That's what makes the whole this so pathetic… The only thing that really makes me feel valuable is attention from women, the most potent variety of which is sex.


Yeah yeah, I know I sounded like a headcase. I wasn’t crazy though, I was just forcing myself into a beta reality. For a number of reasons (which go back to things like the way I was raised, and being picked on a lot as a child), I was basing my entire self worth on other people’s thoughts.

Yeah, I was still racking up lays. I thought that would make me content. Looking back now, if I had instead been happy during that time, it would have easily been worth giving up all my lays completely.

SPRING TIME RELIEF and the “FLAWLESS NATURAL”


Sometime in the spring, I started having my first real alpha thoughts. I had started seeing a shrink for my “problems.” I don’t know what the shrink was thinking, but she recommended anti-depressants for me. (I can see now it’s because I was living my life like a bitch. What the fuck were anti-depressants going to do?)

I will never forget this day I was eating lunch with a semi-beta guy in my class. “Life sucks,” I remark. He stopped eating and looked at me with disgust. “Are you kidding man? Life is awesome. You wanna know what sucks? Cancer sucks.” I was shocked. He proceeded to tell me his life story starting from age 15 when he was first diagnosed with testicular cancer. He was told he was going to die. He had to have a ball amputated. 12 years later, he has degrees from the most prestigious universities in the world, and is healthy as can be. “Life is beautiful man.”

I went home that night and basically slapped myself silly. What the fuck was I upset about? Was I fucking kidding? I had the PERFECT life. It was here that the though first occurred to me, “what a great life I have… I bet women would be attracted to how much I love my life!” My new DHV became “I love my life and here’s why…”

This was about the same time I started listening to the audio CDs of the Flawless Natural. I started molding myself into Tim’s Alpha Male image. I would have loud introductions—“Hey what’s up, I’m Crush!” With a BIG handshake, and a BIG smile. And it worked. I would purposefully talk about how great I felt. I would run little gimmicks to make her laugh and vibe off the energy.

The game felt like it was clicking. Makeouts were the norm for any night gaming—phone numbers galore. Great day twos. I had perhaps my favorite close of my life at this time. I also closed my first fairly famous model (who will be a star on a new Bravo showing that starts next month). I had a wonderful ONS. I closed a college girl that I had had a crush on for years. And I dated a remarkable woman who I am still sad I didn’t close. But most importantly—well, I was enjoying it all. I was happy.

I think the happiness came from the fact that I really believed women were accepting ME—not accepting my social status or my “game”, but accepting me as a person. Although I think this was a positive step, what I couldn’t see at the time was that I was still working from an external validation mindset.

In my “game” as well, there was still something missing still. A couple pieces to the puzzle that I could not put into place.

On one was in that I was still being manipulative—by introducing myself extra loudly, by shaking hands and doing spinny moves, by intentionally telling girls certain facts about myself, I was trying to manipulate them into liking me. I thought I was “being me,” but really I was trying to be Tim. It wasn’t until I met Alex from RSD that I would understand this.

ReJAPAN and RSD BOOTCAMP

I came back to Japan this summer to work. I was eager to test out my new found skills here, but of course nothing worked exactly the way it was supposed to. I was running a style of game that I would retrospectively describe as “frat-boy” game. A lot of ass grabbing, hand slapping, some hair pulling, sloppy makeouts, and flakey n-closes. This was the phase in which the infamous “SalaryMan Night” took place.

Although my game didn’t seem like it has improved ALL THAT much, there was one crucial difference which was I was having fun. I learned to lean back and really enjoy it. Whereas previously going out had been a chore to meet women, I was finally looking forward to it. But here were still a lot of bumps at this point; I would run out of things to say, I would talk too much, I would fall back on routines with a fair amount of frequency…

Most importantly though, there were two major red flags. One—I was still pretty ego vulnerable. That is, flakes and such would give me this sinking feeling in my heart still. I could tell it wasn’t healthy and that it was contributing to my overall happiness issues. Two—I was still interacting with women well below what I considered sufficiently hot. This pained me to no end.

The week before RSD bootcamp couldn’t have been more perfect; I think I had like 2 or 3 flakes followed by a failed close of an HB6. Needless to say, my ego was already tapping out before Alex and I stepped into the ring together.

I don’t feel the need to restate my bootcamp experience here, but suffice it to say it was a life changing weekend. I just really understood social interaction, masculinity, and femininity in a way that I never had before. I learned to relax. I learned to internally validate. I learned to be alpha, and to let my attractiveness pour out. I learned to be a much happier version of myself.

MY NEW GAME


Thus far I couldn’t be happier with my new game. I’ve closed some of the hottest women of my life. I’ve made a bunch of new unexpected friendships. I feel more powerful than I ever have before.

My typical “pickup” (I put parentheses around this word as it’s basically vestigial) consists of saying / doing things that amuse me, introducing myself, and letting her game me while working the logistics. The sample interaction at the top of this is pretty good example of what I do.

The pillars of my game are the following. They are each related by separate concepts.

Internally generated state:
By this I mean that I have learned to control my state pretty minutely. I no longer clap my hands, jump up and down, or say shit in the mirror. I think that stuff is great but I no longer need it at all. I’m just so centered now. Yeah, I do need warm up sets to wake up. But I’ve been enjoying my life so much and enjoying women so much that its hard for me NOT to be in the mood to game at any given time.

Individual creativity:
This one is super crucial—essentially, I know I have the ability to create something unique and valuable. I know I can always come up with solutions to problems in the set, and I know that I can always come up with something funny or interesting to add value. This gives me a lot of self confidence. It means I know I have value in any situation.

Unapolageticness:
I just act like… myself, and therefore anything I do is true and comes from the self. And therefore, I never feel apologetic or regretful. I simply exist and let the world react to me. This adds a big air of confidence to my interactions.

Self Trust:
This means I know I will figure shit out. I always do. This leads to unreactiveness. Unreactiveness in interesting, because I used to make a point of HIDING my reactiveness. Nowadays, I just relax and avoid reacting. I know that any situation “is what it is,” I let people be themselves, and just let fate take its course. Test beating is another part of self trust—I just stop caring so much what girls are thinking about me or doing, and keep going. Works wonders.

Positive Dominance:
This means controlling the situations, leading, being proactive, and being positive. It means being in the moment. It means expressing, and not trying to impress.

CONCLUSION

I still have more than enough to work on. I still get some AA in daygame, I still am not as creative as I would like, and I am still a lazy fuck sometimes haha. But for the most part, I’m really happy with me game.

I’ve made myself stop counting my sarges like score cards—but I think I’ve had 7 lays in the last 6 weeks, all of quality that made me very happy.

Most of all though, I have a level of contentness I’ve never had before. I feel great today, and I’m excited for tomorrow. New places to go, new people to see.

As always, with love,
Crush
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Alex Alumn, Tokyo 09
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#1

DerDomi®

Senior Member

Join Date: 05/01/2008 | Posts: 195

very beautiful. Thumbs upthumbs up
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#2
Whorelord~

Whorelord~

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/03/2009 | Posts: 772

:)
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#3
Remy Lebeau

Remy Lebeau

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/20/2009 | Posts: 398

I see a terrific amount of that post in myself as well.

Tremendous work!
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" the training is nothing.... the will is everything.
 
 the will to act... " 

- Ra's Al Ghul 
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#4

Crush

Member

Join Date: 06/22/2009 | Posts: 81

no problem fellas. thanks for reading.

glad im inspiring progress! questions welcome as well
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Alex Alumn, Tokyo 09
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#5
HanSoloUK

HanSoloUK

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/08/2008 | Posts: 354

Great stuff Crush.

Mind me asking how old your are?
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I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
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#6

Rich~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/19/2006 | Posts: 1576

Yeah this is cool as because it's REAL. Actual standard process - not dramatised "its so hard", not epiphany times... just how things go.  NICE.
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#7
HanSoloUK

HanSoloUK

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/08/2008 | Posts: 354

sounds like you've gone from a firework to a searing coal
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I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
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#8
Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2948

Great read. Well written.

Btw are you suggesting that The Game is a fake? 

Alex seems to be the man. Funny to see that sometimes you need another guy to become yourself. 
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#9

Crush

Member

Join Date: 06/22/2009 | Posts: 81

I am suggesting that The Game, the way its portrayed, is indeed inaccurate.
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Alex Alumn, Tokyo 09
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#10
JPUX

JPUX

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/12/2009 | Posts: 194

 Great post.

dominance is best expressed without focus on meaning.  in other words,  if you TRY to be positive, you won't be.  if you TRY to be unapologetic, you won't be.

so you be.

be dominant.

qualities of dominance? irrelevant.

what is the worst thing that would happen if you expressed your dominance fully?

a charge?

a policeman locking you in jail?

a jail sentence?

a life spent in jail until your death?

death?

be dominant.

face your fears.
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