October 21st, 2016
Most Amazing Article I've Ever Read (by Tyler)
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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2008 | Posts: 192

 "Dude, you're losing your hair.."

"What are you talking about?"

"Look at your crown. You're going bald."

"Yeah, whatever.."

"No, come look in the mirror.."

"Uh oh..."

"Why me? Why can't some other guy get this? Don't I have enough problems as
it is? Why did God pick me to get this? Couldn't he have picked one of the
cool kids? Couldn't he have picked a guy with a better looking face for it?
Couldn't he have picked a guy who was already married to get this? If I can
just get married before this happens, I won't have to worry about it. I've got
time...... for now."

So off we go. To the old pictures. To the daily mirror checkup. To the
plethora of internet websites brilliantly designed to play off of insecurities.

I'm looking at every guy around me. How bald is that guy? Is he bald?

OK, enough of my old thought patterns.

I'm going bald. Thinning, really. Mildly. Guys who meet me would never ever
notice it. But I can tell you the exact amount of baldness that any guy around
me has. I'm aware of every hairline in the room. I even have plenty of cool
hairstyles that will cover up the thinning as it progresses.

All of this fantastic stuff I learned a few years back, as a chump with no
girlfriend and no ability to get a shred of attention from a girl if my life
depended on it.

My logic at 21 years of age: If I can't get a girl now, how will I get one
when I'm bald and less good looking than I am now?

My model of the world at 21 years of age: I like good looking girls, so girls
will only like me if they think I'm good looking. FUCK!!

I took Propecia and Rogaine for 2 years thereafter. It stopped the thinning.
Then after my first summer of workshops, I decided to let it go. I felt that
it would be hypocritical to do otherwise. How can I stare a bald guy in the
face, and say "It doesn't matter", when I've just popped a pill a few hours
before? I've seen many bald PUAs, some of whom are amongst the best. Time and
time again it's been shown that it doesn't matter. It's just that socially
conditioned voice in the back of my head playing tricks.

All of this I know - now. But this whole thing really fucked me up for a
while. Probably about two years. I mean, it really fucked me up. I was so
fucked up over it, I look back on it and I feel almost as if I'm exaggerating
because I can't even relate to what that would feel like anymore.

But there was a good side. First, it made me realize that I was going to die.
Soon. Not soon, as in SOON. But soon as in the fact that time flies and your
life passes you by before you know it. I've been doing workshops almost every
weekend for two years now. It was supposed to be a field trip that Papa and I
were going to take together. I haven't lived in a stable house in two years.
I've been travelling. Two years has blown by. It feels like five minutes.
My life will be like that. Every key stroke entered into this post is another
second that I'm not getting back no matter how clever I think I am to
"outstrip" it - as Heidegger would say, for my fellow geeks.

Losing my hair, combined with losing my girlfriend, were two of the biggest
change-driving incidents that happened in my life. They happened around the
same time. It changed my thinking pattern 180 degrees. I felt like I had only
a few years to do the things I wanted to do. I started getting shit done....
double time.

I resisted losing my girlfriend. I remember how I begged for her to come back.
I didn't particularly like her either. She was cute, and we lived together. I
mean, imagine that - a girl liked me enough to come live with me! After
nineteen years of nothing, and all of a sudden a cute girl wanted to come and
lived with me! How could I not love her?

When she dumped me, my frame just fell apart. I was just a total mess. I
begged for her to come back. I knew she'd fucked the guy from the Pita Pit.
The PITA PIT!! But I chose to ignore it. I didn't care, I just wanted her
back. I just wanted the feelings to go away.

I sat in bed for a few months, sleeping 18 hours a day, and then 2, and then
18. If I could go back to sleep, I could feel better. I played a lot of
Street Fighter II. Watched TV. Failed my second year of classes and pissed
away my chances at grad school. Damn, I would have kicked ass. Woops.

My old girlfriend is cute little married porker now. Do you know what a girl
who is 5'1 looks like when she adds on 40 pounds? Go see my ex. And she's
depressed and low-self-esteem. But I didn't know it at the time. I was
low-self-esteem myself - how could I have known that of someone else? My
friends from Canada sit back at home in their bored depressed ruts. They'll
probably never grow nor ever leave. The whole world is out there, and they'll
probably never see or learn about it, nor probably ever see or learn about
themselves. Of course with lower standards comes easy gratification. Who am I
to judge them?

God damn though, I've seen some cool shit since all of this started. I've been
all over. I remember skiing down a hill in Whistler BC, and thinking about how
lucky I am. I want to see more, too. I want to see everything I can. I want
to see even the weird places like the Arctic and Africa. Shit, this stuff is
so cool. Have you guys ever been to Vegas? It seems like no big deal, but
have you ever stopped to think of how COOL Vegas is?? And there are so many
places like that. It's pretty cheap too. Like you can get on a plane for two
or three hundred and stay in a shitty hostel of you have to. But if you don't
get off your ass, its too inconvenient. Fuck that though - Do it!!

None of this was on my mind a few years ago though. It was outside of my
reality. My reality lied upon the 401HW strip from Ontario to Quebec.
Toronto, Kingston, Ottawa, Montreal. And my relationship reality lied within
the context established in my high school and peer group.

I look at the girls that I meet now, and these are the girls that wouldn't have
given me the time of day a few years ago. I don't think of it like that
though. I just think of them as kind of cute and dorky. I don't really view
them as hot, but more on a deeper level. Like I feel their insecurities and
shortcomings and I know where I'm at in relation after all the work I've put
in. I own the frame on them like its nothing. It doesn't even take a second

Sometimes though I'll be with a girl I'm dating, like out shopping or
something, and I'll snap back into old thinking patterns. Like "Holy shit,
this girl could be with any guy but me." I snap out quick, because that
thought path leads to nowhere. It's all bullshit, too. I'm a natural now. I
can forget sometimes though. Only for a second. But it reminds me that I have
a past that actually existed. I talk about it and I feel like I'm
bullshitting. Like, I'm running a routine or something. But it actually
happened. What's this shit I wrote about freaking out from thinning hair? Did
I really feel like that?! Should I even be admitting it? It is representative
of who I am? Was that me? It can't be. Can it?

Sometimes I forget about what it took to get to where I'm at. Like, I can
totally relate to all those naturals who say "Dude, this isn't that hard. Just
be cool. Enough with all these retarded analyses. Just be cool." That's why
I post immediately even the most subtle detail. Within a day, I'll have
internalized it and will have lost my ability to articulate it. Or I'll think
its too subtle to post and just dumb. I feel embaressed of my archive, even
though I know its good. Guys tell me they like it, and I'm like "Shit dude,
you read that?! That thing is way too dense. Just be cool and escalate." But
really, without all those piled up posts, the game wouldn't exist. And that's
an indication of progress, which is a good thing.

It was a solid effort over several years. I always had goals and was working
at them. I think that misrepresents how hard it is to go from chump to
PUA. If I'd known what I would have to go through just to get my first lay,
I'd have never even started. The same with my business. But I always thought
that success was just around the corner. I was convinced. More importantly, I
enjoyed the process of it. I immersed myself in it.

Every month that went by, if someone hadn't seen me, they'd say "Wow man,
you've really changed. Your voice is different. Your vibe is different."
Girls say it to me. It's tangible. Like a guy who makes diet changes and
exercises, and the progress is slow but if someone doesn't see him for a few
months its almost freaky.

Wherever I went, I was looking at guys. Constantly. Looking at people around
me. Playing the game. Asking for feedback. Meeting people. Looking at where
I was getting bad feedback. Watching naturals in the clubs. Meeting guys in
the community. Looking at myself in a detached manner. Ouch, it hurt
sometimes. A lot, really. I'd make progress and feel good about myself, and
then realize that I still sucked. I couldn't totally figure out why, but it
came to me over time. I feel like I still suck compared to what I could do
with more time. The community is not a good bar for what's possible. I set my
own bar for what's possible.

I was consistent. How many guys can claim that? In my opinion, very few. The
reason I say that is that most people I meet are able to get to a high level
far faster than I was. If people would put in the same effort that I'd put in,
I think they'd get better than me in less time. I'm not a fast learner. I
have a few areas of exceptional aptitude, but overall I lack in cognitive
capacity compared to my peers. Every area that I'm good at are things that I
sucked at, but put in ten times the effort of everyone else to get a result.
I've had to come to terms with that over time. Rather than letting it piss me
off though, I use it as motivation.

Like with pickup, I played two years before I got a result. Two years to get
laid a single time. Two years of walking up to girls with my throat tensed up
and my voice cracking dry and my heart pounding and my forehead visibly
sweating. Guys wonder why I kept playing so hard after I got good? It was
momentum. I was going so hard that I don't think I could have stopped even if
I wanted to. Two years to get laid. Fuck!

When it happened I couldn't believe it. I had a bunch of near misses for a few
months prior to it. I knew that it was coming, but didn't totally believe it.
When it happened I was in shock. I remember getting the girls' clothes off,
and I was like "Shit, I'm close.. Even if I don't get it, I'm going to get it
soon.." I nailed it. She even stayed over night and we hooked up in the
morning. I turned the girl off within about three weeks by going back to old
behaviour patterns. But for that period of time I had a girlfriend again. She
was just as cute as my first girlfriend too.

This was all played out in the real world. The chatforum isn't a place to
learn pickup. I learned pickup on my own. I had guidance. I couldn't have
done it without having met the best. But streamlining and re-wiring all of my
thought and behaviour patterns was complicated. That is how you get girls, by
the way. It isn't through anything other than that.

Cool guys get laid. If you're not a cool guy, you probably won't get laid very
much. It's not by being alpha or being sexual or having rapport or anything
else. Those are just things that you add into the mix to do even better.
Like, every weekend I meet guys who are nerds but trying to use this stuff, and
it just makes them come off even weirder. I could make a tape of guys from the
community trying to implement the tech they learn - even the most simple stuff
like "alpha BL" or "sexual state" (let alone my shit), and sell it as a prime
time comedy special.

If you're not cool, then that's the problem. Cool just means congruent in your
actions and all that. There's no universal of cool. It can come in a million
forms. Even nerdy can be cool, if it comes from the right place. And this is
all learned in field. Because through the dumb "comedy special" worthy moments
where you're trying out tech that you don't understand, you're progressing.
Even if you drop it down the line, its changing your awareness of communication
channels. It's changing your thought patterns. It's changing YOU.

You can only learn to understand it through trial and error. That's what I
did. Papa and went around an entire club of 5,000 people and
high-fived everyone in it several times, just to see what would happen. got laid out of it! Can you actually believe this shit?? I used to
tell girls to close their eyes, and I'd kiss them. I had a girl at a juice
counter shreik and freak out. I thought she'd call the police, but she was
totally into it after she calmed down. It amped attraction somehow. WTF?!?!

All of this comes from the field. Real life. The chatforum is a place where
you can read stuff that will make sense of PAST EXPERIENCES that you've had.
It can even give you a few idea of how to get out there - magic penny style.
But mostly, its just something that gives you a resource where you can look
back at what you did and make more sense of it.

In my opinion, the difficulty for most guys is that they don't really want it.
They don't REALLY want it. They want it if its easy, but they don't really
want it. If they did, they'd go and get it. I really wanted it. I was driven
to go and get it. Most guys aren't. Most guys reading this post look on it as
though they are watching a movie or reading a fictional novel. They don't
really want it. They just want to feel good about themselves. They want the
emotion more than the outcome. That's cool too though. In my opinion, anyway.

So all of this stuff, that's me. That's my personality - who I was and who I
am now. How bad do you really want it though? What's going to drive you to do
it? The stuff that I spoke of - those were my points of change. What are

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
Mark Twain
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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/06/2008 | Posts: 156


Follow my path to mastery on RSDn - The Hank Show 2.0

"The thing that contributes to anyone's reaching the goal he wants is simple wanting that goal badly enough." -Charles E. Wilson
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Joe Shades

Joe Shades

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/28/2009 | Posts: 575

LEAHCIM wrote:

In my opinion, the difficulty for most guys is that they don't really want it.
They don't REALLY want it. They want it if its easy, but they don't really
want it. If they did, they'd go and get it.

I think everyone wants to be good with women, what man wouldn't ? its not that many guys don;t want it, its that they are afraid of what it takes to become good. afraid of approaching. then afraid of possible rejection and what it does to the self esteem. what they don't want is to feel the pain that comes with rejection and being told you are not good enough. its safer to not try. i guess i fall into that type of person still
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Senior Member

Join Date: 10/12/2010 | Posts: 195


Awesome post.
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Senior Member

Join Date: 01/28/2012 | Posts: 163

 thanks for bumping 
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Join Date: 11/20/2012 | Posts: 44

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Respected Member

Join Date: 08/27/2012 | Posts: 499

philly37 wrote:
I think everyone wants to be good with women, what man wouldn't ? its not that many guys don;t want it, its that they are afraid of what it takes to become good. afraid of approaching. then afraid of possible rejection and what it does to the self esteem. what they don't want is to feel the pain that comes with rejection and being told you are not good enough. its safer to not try. i guess i fall into that type of person still
its an intersting topic, what drives us to power through and make hard shit happen.

why does one man choose to say "fuck it, im fucking approaching like a mad man and making this shit happen if its the last thing i do." and the other guy says, "yeah, this stuff is pretty cool and makes sense but.. you know, i'll get to it later, maybe.."

both men would love to have a rotation of a few wome on call at all times wouldnt they? but one i suppose wants it more than anything and the other guy sort of wants it but doesnt find a compelling reason to outweight the hard work he knows lies ahead.

why does he not find gaming hard and enjoying a bounty of compelling enough? probably because he feels like will come here and there by luck (like it has in the past) and eventually he'll settle with a girlfriend and although that may not be perfect like having a bunch of pussy, its good enough and easier.
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Respected Member

Join Date: 06/11/2011 | Posts: 327

i love watching all the free tour videos and all the programs RSD have released but there is something about the written word that is so special, it makes everything sink in just that little bit more
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Junior Member

Join Date: 07/16/2012 | Posts: 25

wow that´s some intense stuff.
I completely relate to this.It´s like..I am Tyler..
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/14/2012 | Posts: 4150

Thanks, this was good!
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Respected Member

Join Date: 04/06/2012 | Posts: 914

One month of NOTHING BUT value posts.
Giving back to a community that has given me a lot.
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