THE FORUMS

From where I was to where I am now in 8 months, I feel like a new person and I am constanlty evolving everyday.

I am starting to set boudries for the behavior I will and wont accept. I think has to do with strength of reality.  The more I am unwilling to put up with a girls bullshit, the more she becomes attractive because she realizes she has been allowed to walk all over other guys. This is no longer the lifestyle that I believe in. I believe in a better way of living, abundance, extreme emotional health and good physical conditioning.

Sharpen the saw, keep working and keep evolving, start dropping the things I used to realied on. I am starting to show my true core. I was haning out with a few girls the other day, one who just lost her dad, she turned to me and said "Thank you." "One thing I will take from you is your attitude to not care what others think." I had not realized I was acting in anyway just being me. These are the moments I want to live and enjoy more of. Being me, caring, loving, emotionally strong, pushing toward the life I want from the core, constantly dropping the shell of the old me.

Thank you RSD and everyone who has helped me get me here and to the future times which I will live one moment at a time.

Last Night, went out on Boston with my buddy Nick. Went to Ned Divines.  I was wearing a Bandana walking around asking people where the bar was. Getting into social times. Ned to do more of this. Get out of my head. I joke with the doormen and head in. I start value scanning and realize this and get a beer. At the bar, I am opened by four girls, and joke with them for a few minutes. I start to relax. I explain that I am going to rob a bank and cause trouble. I then decide I am not going to open with words tonight.  I am going to pose like Randy Orton below. 


 


I realized I was getting a lot of interest, I would just pose randomly in the middle of the rooms. I was not paying attention to anyones reaction. I was living in the moment. I realized next time, I pose just open afterwards. It is that simple, no words needed to open. It doesn't matter what you say, it matters that you are taking action. That is attractive. Pieces are starting to click. I go to the dance floor and perform interpretive dance on the dance floor. Stop giving a shit about what people think about you. That is attractive. Girls would keep walking by me and saying hi as they went to the dance floor. Stop them and chat next time and lead them to the dance floor. I chatted up with one of the hottest girls I have ever talked to not on bootcamp. Used some of Ryan's verbal attraction stuff , something about her giving me her qualifications, she did not like that, But the whole interaction went well it felt good. This is RAS is action, I want to feel this way more. 

 So I recently looked back to my August 4th post where I said I was afraid of making a bad impression. I have been acting from my core lately, doing what I want to do when I want to do it. It has all been for me. My brain pops constantly now, and I am starting to eliminate my limiting beliefs and starting to live in my own reality. 

Do yourself a favor, take a bootcamp, keep making progress and go live a life. My best advice I can give anyone on this planet. I never was this way, I can talk to most any student now about most anything and connect with students better. I am a teacher. I connect to people better. I can share view points without getting all emotional. I can dress good, bad, well dressed for a formal occasion. I can wear a bandana around my neck because I want to. I no longer still feel the need to act a certain way around people I know or don't know. But I have been thinking about a question lately? Can you grown only so much in a area that stifiled you for so long or is it essential to go live in a different location for a year or two to get the most out of me and my success. 

So the application is almost complete and sending it in to D.C. in a few days for approval. I will keep everyone updated on that. 

My life is getting more and more crazy and I am starting to see shit and I am starting to act without fear alot more. Knowing what I am doing is going to work, whether it is girls or a job situation. I am also reading some spiritual books and had a slight issue today with school. 

During a team meeting, I felt the other teachers I work with labeling kids. That child is that or that child is this. I freaked out a little bit because I know it has nothing to do with who they are. We as people are unwilling to allow kids to grow. I see that I am unhappy with the current system I work in. 

It is amazing to see how your brain works and the intricate problems we create for ourself. I have been hanging out with a few girls and find one really cool. I have been able to help her grow a lot. Get out of a bad relationship and get her ass back in school. I want to see people follow their dreams, making a positive impact on their lives. Whether for one night or many.

Recently read Ozzie's article about Onion Peel theory. One the outside it is sour and makes you cry but on the inside it tastes good. The core, stop holding back. I no longer try putting people down... negging is stupid. It is a tactic that puts people down. If I can make people feel better, then I will chat and have a positive conversation and at the end of the night, shit happens or it doesn't. I might push for a result  but playing tactics no longer serve a purpose in my life. Being me serves me more. It serves me because the more and more I trust in myself, the more my life has become healthier.  It has taken me 9 months from bootcamp student to feel confident in my own skin. I also see that it is important to never settle, always take one step at a time. One foot forward, your life will be a success.    

A journey is a journey for a reason. It takes time, uses energy, it is not easy. You must grow, lose battles, enjoy the spoils but the most important is to keep your eye on the prize. I do not know where this is going to take me. I do know that I have bigger things in my future. 

Breakthroughs happen, and regression occurs. I am reading the saltwater buddha, It explains the ocean does not create waves, it is all about momentum. Wind create the initial ripples and it goes from there. But understand that waves are just part of the ocean. The ocean is massive, a wave can be big or small.  A waves comes and dissolves, and the whole process goes on and on.  One girl or one interaction does not sum you up as a person. It is the process that helps you become real. It is so hard hitting and old beliefs are replaced by new ones and all of a sudden insecurities show up. I thought I had gotten rid of them. There is work to be done. 

This journey challenges you at every step for the better. It is how you react to the challenges that dictate how you improve and how you digress. 

After putting my whole self out there for about 3 to 4 months now, cracks of the old me are creeping up. You have to notice these things and adjust from there. It is part of you but some parts  I am an open book, my life is my life. I want to share it with everyone. Sometimes people do not want me to share it. 

I feel alive. Open, honest and alive. Everything around me seems so much slower. I must remain grounded amongst chaos. Back on the band wagon.