THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
Steve-0! 2.0 - Becoming Real
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Steve-0!

Steve-0!

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/08/2008 | Posts: 1579

So I decided to take a second bootcamp while I was traveling in Europe and I think this needs a new improved Success Thread/Review.  Music included! 


My previous bootcamp and progress www.rsdnation.com/node/112095

I have been travling Europe for about a month and was talking to Nathan about bootcamp ideas and he told me if I had the chance to take one with Ozzie, I should. So I signed up flew to London from Amsterdam and away we go. 

I meet Ozzie on Friday night,  we chat and he is skeptical as to why I am taking a second bootcamp He gets to know I explain that I got really inspired by Derek's Mastermind CD.. I also think I felt myself seeking more guidance. I will soon realize it is because of my learning habits. I am a dabbler.. Check out Mastery by George Leonard.. I am going to reread it when I get home. So we enjoy our coffee, he likes Espresso, I like Cappucino... He explains some principals and the cycle of fear. 

Fear is a cycle. If you avoid fear, it will increase and you will repeat the same behavior over and over again, until the fear becomes to much until the fear has control over you. This has two consequences. Positively and Negativley. If you allow the fear to control you then it will. It you are proactive and expose yourself to the fear then you start to overcome over the fear and the fear subsides. Over time, if you put yourself in the line of the fire, the fire no longer scares you and you start to allow shine.  

Being Proactive. In a lot of self help, most books state that you can take control of your life. You can not control what happens to your life, bad things and good things are going to happen. If you are proactive, you can take control of your actions. you actions are something you control.   

He then goes on to explain a circle of influence and circle of concern.

Influence are the things that you can take change of. Your attitude, Your actions.  

Concern.... peoples reactions, peoples days and how it affects them. Being rejected.  

Finally, let go out the outcome, I am someone who has always wanted to please people, make them best impression I can, make no waves, no ripples, just a nice clean smooth surface. It is very fake.   

We head to the Metro to get out of normal game situations. He make me approach people on the escalator asking them if  "Is Buckingham palace a real palace?" He wants me to fail. Feel rejection.. This mission is an eye openener. It was designed to make me fail...  I need to learn to let go of the outcome of the situation. This is a building process. Actually it is more of a stripping away of bad habits. Cutting the fat and living lean. 

He makes me go and approach about 5 - 6 sets and he realizes I am playing the lost tourist. He switches it up. I have to approach and use, "Is Trafalgar a real square?"
 and then change topics to whatever. Let go of the outcome. Just go open change topcis... only mission. My first one goes like this. I open, Her:"uhh..."  Me:"I love penguins.."  Her:"uhh..." Me: Okay, have a good night. This goes on for about another 30 minutes and then we debrief and chat about what I was doing.. I was starting to let go of the outcome but I was still trying to make a good impression on people. 

We go out and start approaching at a laid back club. He wants to see what I do.. As he suspects I am a dabbler... go read the book. This part is the true diagnostics a coach does. He sees I do not stick in sets, I am trying to impress. I get what it trully means what Express not impress. I have two different size feet. I like swiss cheese but I feel I get gyped because it is filled with holes. I like Cappacino because it lasts longer and I get to enjoy the moment. I went on the trip to Europe to find my center because I have had people dictate my reality to me every moment of my life. I want to make my own decisions. This is part of what makes me real. This stuff might not seem intersting but it is what make me a real human being and makes people connect with me more,  trusts me more. It develops those true connections. 

He also realizes that I am not getting physical, I am affriad of stirring the pot. I am also relying on my verbal game as a crutch. I can speak for hours about really intersting shit but it is all about trying to impress. 

1. Things to work on for the future ... get physical.. once you become comfrotable with the fact you are touching women.. it becomes internalized and you dont even need to think about it. You just start doing it naturally.. Wow! Makes sense.. this is where congruence comes in. 
2. Do not seek approval... put your true self on the line...

More on this to come later. I need some sleep.    
     
__________________
Bootcamp of Champions - Mar' 09! Austin Resurrection Crew !  - Embrace Uncertainty
Ozzie - July '09 - London - your social self and become you.

 "In those moments that most people say I can't,  most people say self preservation, most people say what if?... We say "What if?" the other way. What if you land it? What if it is possible?" - Travis Pastrana - X Games Movie   "i'm not in this world to live you up to your expectations. And your not in this world to live up to mine." - Bruce Lee If you are taking more action than anyone else, why should you care about their opinion?" ~Derek "I want to see the world through my own eyes not in the reflection of others." - "While you standing around looking dumb. I make it happen, taking action over time. Got damn good at it too!" - T.I.
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#1
Steve-0!

Steve-0!

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Join Date: 08/08/2008 | Posts: 1579

Okay... So I could not sleep.. I have to cut back on the coffee and I think the bootcamp gave me a little rush of energy.

Day 2 - Debrief with more Espresso and Cappucino.. I love Europe and their coffee variations. 

We talk a little about destroying the entertainer that is inside of me. Ozzie also makes me do a drawing about what people see me as and what I actually am. Becoming more conscious of little things is such a crucial part of game. He explains that people have two sides, a social side and a real side. I use crayons and draw who I am from the perspective eyes. I was going to hang this drawing up on my vision board but I misplaced my notebook from about November of last year, when I first decided to take a botocamp. Time to start a new, cut the fat and live lean.  So my social side seeks aproval and wants to come out and have fun and not rock the boat. Ozzie explains I am not going to get laid being the entertainer. This weekend was all about me becoming the real me. Now he asks me what I am passionate about, rock climbing, fitness, teaching,history, geography, house music, art films, and big blockbuster movies, such as Harry Potter. 

I have to talk about these topics more in set. Just go up to them and start talking about your passions. I know this, I always felt that nothing about was cool what I liked. But these are the things that make me - me! That is enough. When you speak about the shit you love, even, swiss cheese or making eggs is comes off super congruent and comfortable. It comes off super passionate and more real. Real = connections = laid. It is a little more complex than that, but let's keep it simple. Ozzie then makes me do a series of exercises to keep me out of my head and put me in super awkward situations. My favorite was walking backwards through a busy street, do this and you will get many weird looks and negative reactions. This is what I needed, I needed to feel socially disapproved and by the time of the last exercise I did not give a shit about peoples reactions because I felt so good. I sang Bon Jovi, badly, in the middle of a street. I hugged Metro/Underground/Tube walls and talked to Ozzie about a book I was reading. People stopped and starred and me. Get negative reactions, break that social self. 

I had a few thoughts that tie directly to the BPD, he makes people acted goofy to get them out of their heads. Do this shit while going to the venue, not in the venue. You will look socially miscalibrated. Having people stare at you and watch is something that everyone needs to get over. It was something that was holding me back. Once you break the hold of the social self through constant exposure of social pressure, your real you comes to the surface but only for a short time.

We also had a discussion about how Ozzie got stuck in his head when he was figuring out who to approach, who was the hottest girl, took to long and he started to revert, unlike a newbie, he knew how to get back a millisecond but even the instructors have things go wrong. THey just know how to handle these things quicker to get back to the real you.

He made me do more Metro approaches of lots of girls between 3 lanes of escalators. Little did I know this was easy compared the stuff I was going to have to do on Sunday afternoon.  I head home for a nap and then back at it at 10:30 ish. I started getting nervous just sitting outside while everyone walked by me. I was able to handle this much better on Sunday when I arrived early again. I started whistling, singing a little, getting people to look at me. Break that social self.. it is okay not to have everyone like you. I do not need to impress everyone. I had/have unrealistic expectations of what people expect from me. 

Ozzie makes me do some more exercises to keep me out of my head and get some repsonse from people outside, just saying have a good night to people as they walk by. These are the things I or anyone must do to get them into the realm of the real self and allow it to become that cool guy.  Moment of clarity - When people say that you are enough, it is true! It just happens that the you they are speaking of is buried deep inside of you because the social self does not want it to come out. It rocks the boat, it makes people react, it does not seek approval, it is the true you. Over time if you work on these exercises and through repeated exposure your true self with come to the surface more and more and then that is when you are enough.

Go to a irish pub, started out in entertainer mode but slowly became me and started getting physical... had a beer bought for me from a birthday girl.  Weird concecpt for me. Got rejected by a girl who did not want to dance, let's go dance.. no..no.. try again.. no..no.. started singing I believe in a thing called love by the darkness. I should have sung this song to the people in the street. More socializing and then we bounce to another venue.

We go to a club, asks me to walk around with loser body language for 5 minutes. I do and it is probably the worst 5 minutes of the bootcamp. I am not a loser, I am a cool motherfucker. He then makes me go walk around the club for 5 minutes. This feels good, this feels true. I realize I walked around like a chode for some many years, it was like walking around with a 25 pound weight after I just lost it. compare and contrast. Good quality exercise. I thne start approaching 

I appraoch multiple sets and try to break the dabble mold I have created. I force myself into sets longer, get blown out make me uncomfortable so eventually I will become comfortable. Very counterintuitive stuff but it works. Okay.. I need to go to bed now.. Really I do.  


   

 
__________________
Bootcamp of Champions - Mar' 09! Austin Resurrection Crew !  - Embrace Uncertainty
Ozzie - July '09 - London - your social self and become you.

 "In those moments that most people say I can't,  most people say self preservation, most people say what if?... We say "What if?" the other way. What if you land it? What if it is possible?" - Travis Pastrana - X Games Movie   "i'm not in this world to live you up to your expectations. And your not in this world to live up to mine." - Bruce Lee If you are taking more action than anyone else, why should you care about their opinion?" ~Derek "I want to see the world through my own eyes not in the reflection of others." - "While you standing around looking dumb. I make it happen, taking action over time. Got damn good at it too!" - T.I.
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#2
Nathan!

Nathan!

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 1470

Amen brother... this was what you needed DEEPLY.  Deeper than just women, but you, and Ozzie was the man to deliver. Excellent stuff.
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#3
Steve-0!

Steve-0!

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Join Date: 08/08/2008 | Posts: 1579

So Sunday comes.. and I thought it was going to just be debrief and some theory and where to go from there.

Wrong!

Ozzie: "how do you feel?" Me: "Oh.. shit.. 8." 

Ozzie had me sing in traffic, walk backwards, hug a tree and talk to people. He had me tell embarassing stories old loud to no one while people walked by. We then walked around Trafalgar square and he made me open sets, ridiculous sets with people all running around, a modern art exhibit going on where people stand on a platform for an hour. People were not really focused on any one thing.  Ozzie had me go open people 25 feet away, from the bottom of monuments. He strectched me so far outside anything I have ever done to face social criticism. I needed to feel rejection and realize it is okay to rock the boat. nothing bad is going to happen to me. Every landing is a good landing. After doing all these things, he makes me go talk to people normally and just be chill. If you are normal, people will be cool and receptive and if they are not, it is there problem. I think I love the comma to much. I need to work on my grammar skills a little bit.

We sit down and eat. We reflect and Ozzie tells me to write everything I learned on this bootcamp, my goal for the next month and how that needs to be my benchmark for the next three months. If I work at my goal and keep at it. I will be succesful. Approach 10 sets a night and push for atleast 10 minutes. If I don't do it in one night add it on to the next. If I fuck up all month. I will get it done in a weekend. I will be exhausted but it can be done. Ozzie said he has done 30 approaches in 90 minutes. 

We have a long talk about safety behaviors, my biggest issue, Affraid to make people not like me. Reread Tim's Chaos article. www.rsdnation.com/node/68077 This is something I will be doing more and more of. It is time to shake things up a little in my life, more so than they already are.

I think I have what I need to succed in game and my life. I now need to put this stuff into me I think as Randy said on his mastermind disc. "Chop up the game and figure out it on my own now." I have the foundation of inner game and the outer game. The right mixture to be succesful, now it is on me to be successful. 
 
Game on! Keep you posted on the progress and future happenings.
__________________
Bootcamp of Champions - Mar' 09! Austin Resurrection Crew !  - Embrace Uncertainty
Ozzie - July '09 - London - your social self and become you.

 "In those moments that most people say I can't,  most people say self preservation, most people say what if?... We say "What if?" the other way. What if you land it? What if it is possible?" - Travis Pastrana - X Games Movie   "i'm not in this world to live you up to your expectations. And your not in this world to live up to mine." - Bruce Lee If you are taking more action than anyone else, why should you care about their opinion?" ~Derek "I want to see the world through my own eyes not in the reflection of others." - "While you standing around looking dumb. I make it happen, taking action over time. Got damn good at it too!" - T.I.
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#4
Zebra

Zebra

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/01/2007 | Posts: 274

 good read, can relate. Awsome stuff dude, hope you get to where you want to be mate.
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Pick up is like a hammer.    Tips for Life and fucking Chicks (poorly written) -Zebra
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#5
Getupa

Getupa

Respected Member

Join Date: 12/21/2008 | Posts: 830

 nice explaining...
I could feel what it would be like in those exercises..
thnks.
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#6
Jack of Hearts

Jack of Hearts

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/14/2008 | Posts: 1041

awesome! good luck! cheers
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BWUUH! MILKSHAKES! RAW SEX!
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#7
Steve-0!

Steve-0!

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/08/2008 | Posts: 1579



I am affraid of rejection. I am affraid of making a bad impression. I am affraid of people thinking I am werid.

I have spent years acting in an appropraite way. I have had glimpses of being real shown through but my social self has come out more and more because it is easier to blend than to stand out. I find myself connecting to more and more instructors articles than ever before. So I wanted everyone to check this out. I want to stand out, I want to be weird, I want to face social pressure. www.rsdnation.com/ryan%C2%AE/blog/i%E2%80%99d-rather-be-weird-lonely-approach-anxiety

I find myself singing on the street, whistling as lound as I can when I am around people. It is time to stop caring about what everone things about me.
__________________
Bootcamp of Champions - Mar' 09! Austin Resurrection Crew !  - Embrace Uncertainty
Ozzie - July '09 - London - your social self and become you.

 "In those moments that most people say I can't,  most people say self preservation, most people say what if?... We say "What if?" the other way. What if you land it? What if it is possible?" - Travis Pastrana - X Games Movie   "i'm not in this world to live you up to your expectations. And your not in this world to live up to mine." - Bruce Lee If you are taking more action than anyone else, why should you care about their opinion?" ~Derek "I want to see the world through my own eyes not in the reflection of others." - "While you standing around looking dumb. I make it happen, taking action over time. Got damn good at it too!" - T.I.
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#8
Deft

Deft

Trusted Member

Join Date: 06/16/2008 | Posts: 2040

Wow 2 bootcamps in such little time.
Congrats, a lot of $ haha.
Keep it up, you are doint it!.
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#9
Dystincsion

Dystincsion

Senior Member

Join Date: 01/25/2009 | Posts: 215

Steve-0! wrote:

I think I have what I need to succed in game and my life.  
.
I'm going to be extremely blunt with you.
I'm going to tell you things you might not want to hear.
You need to hear them for your sake.
I believe it's in your best interests from switzerland.

Stop trying. Stop reading. Stop bootcamps. Stop dvd's. Stop game. And most of all...stop thinking.
You...I'm talking JUST YOU...don't need it anymore.
There's nothing more to strip away.
There's nothing else for you to learn.

Except for Belief.

You don't believe yet Scott.
No instructor nor friend can believe for you.
You're searching for external solutions for an internal problem.
You are going to ego protect and be uncomfortable in your own skin until you believe in yourself, like everyone believes in you...

We've hung out in person, so I'm going to share some magic potion formula with you right now

See your quote up there?

You always had it...

You just need to see it for yourself.

Your friend

Michael
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The inner chode is strong... So am I.
Resurrection Crew Austin, TEXAS
Nathan BC April 2009
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#10
Steve-0!

Steve-0!

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/08/2008 | Posts: 1579

This is probably the most important talk we could of ever had. Amazingly, Nathan said the exact fuckin same thing. I need to believe. No one is every going to do the believing for me. That is my part of the journey.  I am scared of what I could become. I dont need to be affriad, I am an amazing guy. Fuck this journey can suck some time. I am my own worst enemy.  I need to let go out outcome dependence in everything.  Thanks Mike
__________________
Bootcamp of Champions - Mar' 09! Austin Resurrection Crew !  - Embrace Uncertainty
Ozzie - July '09 - London - your social self and become you.

 "In those moments that most people say I can't,  most people say self preservation, most people say what if?... We say "What if?" the other way. What if you land it? What if it is possible?" - Travis Pastrana - X Games Movie   "i'm not in this world to live you up to your expectations. And your not in this world to live up to mine." - Bruce Lee If you are taking more action than anyone else, why should you care about their opinion?" ~Derek "I want to see the world through my own eyes not in the reflection of others." - "While you standing around looking dumb. I make it happen, taking action over time. Got damn good at it too!" - T.I.
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