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December 3rd, 2016
A Cheater's Cheat Sheet
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Nathan!

Nathan!

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 1470

A lesson on honesty and being up front with girls. This def becomes a bigger issue the more commited relationship you've been in

If you aren't careful:

Though, not from cheating on a gf, I had two college incidences of spiteful revenge on my jeep from either the girl or her next boyfriend that couldn't stand the fact you treated her less than the perfect little princess that she's sold him on (ever seen a tornado of keys scratches on your car that Wolverine would be proud of? ugh). I think Jeffy's talked about having problems with crazy girls in the past also for not being honest.  FYI, if you do cheat, this is where 'Radical Honesty' before and after would have been/is nice

1. The friend you tell today will be the former friend who rats you out tomorrow…. They will rat you out. They always do. Why? Because there are two types of friends:
* The friend who wants to bang your girlfriend.
* The friend who is a good person.
Either way, they are going to tell on you.

2. STDs are real and there are lots of skanky women who carry them, especially among women who are willing to cheat with you. A diamond may be forever, but gonorreah lasts a helluva long time too. Get one, and you are screwed in more ways than one.

3. Hook up in public and chances are good that you will be spotted by someone you don't know who knows you, and knows your girlfriend. It's a small world. Or worse, you could end up on Google's street view, like this guy coming out of a strip club:


4. Some women are crazy. Yes, even the hot ones, so beware that the cool chick you hook-up with may become the next stalker, call your real girlfriend (and the next one) just to get back at you, sleep with roommate type, mutilate you, etc. They wouldn't have a support group if I was kidding:  http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061120140711AAnTrKL&show=7. They may get violent.

5. The hookup girl may play it cool for a while and say is fine just having casual sex/not emotionally committed, chances are she will care and will want full time thing. She will secretly work to get you busted.

6. Unless you are honest from the beginning, the more you go back for some, the greater the risk you will get busted.

7. Yes, she will lie to you about being on the pill and actually get pregnant. (See numbers 2, 3, 5, 6)

8. Girlfriends find credit card receipts. Then you have to go out and buy everything you bought your mistress for her. This is bad.

9. If you are meeting your side thing at your place, your neighbors know and sometimes they talk to girlfriends. Especially if you live in an apartment with thin walls.

10. Girlfriends see text messages on your phone from other women. From miles away. It's like a female radar. Their femme sense goes off the second it shows up in your text box. This is a documented fact.

11. Girlfriends see strange numbers on your phone and investigate them. This remains true for 800 and 900 numbers as well.

12. When men cheat, it usually means that they are looking for something their girlfriend is not providing. Realize that your real relationship is already screwed.

13. If you truly love your girlfriend, expect some serious, painful guilt. I mean, the kind that gnaws at your soul. If you still have one.

14. You could end up on one of those fun websites like WomanSavers.com. Google it

15. Your girlfriend's family and friends have a longer memory than she does. Long after girlfriend forgave you, her family and friends will still hate you.

16. Your girlfriend WILL cheat on you in retaliation. She won't tell you about it, ever (or until you've broken up), but she and her girlfriends will share many a giggle at your expense. Oh yeah, the guy she cheats with will be hotter than you.

17. If she does "grudge fuck" someone else to get back at you, if possible, it will be with someone you hate. Or worse, your best friend.

18. If you stay together, your girlfriend will try harder than anything to forget what you did. She will not. It will always hurt.

19. If you want to fix things with your girlfriend, she will forgive you, but the relationship will change. She will always have trust issues with you from that moment on, no way around it. Besides, you deserve it for not being honest

20. If your girlfriend chooses not to forgive you and it looks as if she has moved on; She has, move on. Don't go crazy and stab someone just because you got caught. Especially on national TV, like this idiot.


21. If you are going to try and come clean and fix things with your girl, expect that she will ask for all the sordid details. She will likely get even more hurt and pissed when you describe what you and other babe did, but if you lie, she will know it and get hurt worse. More importantly, whatever you did with her, your girlfriend will refuse to do with you - ever. It is too "painful" to even think about, much less perform.

22. A girlfriend is not beyond installing monitoring software or a physical key logger on your PC. Sure it's a crime, but who want's to be the "asshole who cheated on his girlfriend and then filed charges for getting caught".

23. If your girlfriend has had a "secret crush" on your best friend, now is the time she will "befriend him". You will lose both her and your friend. They will be happier without you.

24. Your girlfriend and her girlfriends share very intimate details of their lives with each other. She will let everyone know that you cry when having sex.

25. Girlfriends will seek support from YOUR friends and family. Often, they will resent you, not her.

26. Keep your story straight. Girlfriends are often very methodical and like a criminal defense attorney, they will tear apart your story and try and exploit each gap they find. When they do, they will tear apart you and try to exploit each gap they find. Chances are, you will fail at this.

27. Girlfriends will "date up" after you since she will realize this will pain you the most. Maybe your boss, or your richer, more successful brother, or sister.

28. If you share a child together, you will pay support and she will spend it on anything and anyone that she wants to. (see "the new boyfriend" in #29)

29. Your girlfriend will immediately begin to fantasize about her old boyfriends and will call/ email/ Facebook/ Myspace them to "catch up after all this time"

30. Girlfriends will "scratch" up your prized car/boat/motorcycle, your things or throw them out.

a different view... That is 5 pick axes, not just 4.


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#1
Nixation

Nixation

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Join Date: 02/09/2008 | Posts: 573

 fear makes the world go round 
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#2
matt89920!

matt89920!

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Join Date: 10/23/2007 | Posts: 438

How come this thread makes no refrene to "Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats" ... watching the music video explains a lot here too wink
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#3
Nathan!

Nathan!

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 1470

Note: having sex with multiple women at the same time is not the same as cheating (lying about it), which is what this is about.  Btw, I am guilty of #23 and learned my lesson

For my man Matt!-
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#4

Nick!

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Join Date: 09/12/2008 | Posts: 96

Awesome thread!

And like the old saying goes "honesty is the best policy" LOL
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#5
Hazard

Hazard

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Join Date: 10/25/2008 | Posts: 402

Reading this is pretty scary.

I mean, you can warn somebody about not cheating or you can instill a fear in somebody's heart(inflated to extremes by his mind because this fear only gets reinforced throughout the entire article + Websites) that these things will fuck up his life forever if he does badly.


I believe....this is the latter.
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#6
Lazybones

Lazybones

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Join Date: 11/21/2008 | Posts: 385

Cheating husbad clip it hurt when she was about to throw the tv. Weirdness.

Though we do live in a monogamous society with a tendency to cheat.
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#7

PillowFire

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Join Date: 01/11/2009 | Posts: 1032

WTF is this shit? Whatever happened to being the man? If some crazy started throwing my stuff around like that, I would drop her right there and incapacitate her, not stand there and let her go on her little temper tandrum. Then I would file charges.

And I wouldn't "cheat" in the first place. I would just dump the chick. What a depressing thread this is.
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#8
Holland

Holland

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Join Date: 06/24/2008 | Posts: 769

I've never understood the whole cheating thing.
If you desire more than one woman sexually, why are you in a exclusive relationship?
It's just plain immature and inauthentic.
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#9
Suspect

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Join Date: 01/24/2007 | Posts: 1237

PillowFire wrote:
WTF is this shit? Whatever happened to being the man? If some crazy started throwing my stuff around like that, I would drop her right there and incapacitate her, not stand there and let her go on her little temper tandrum. Then I would file charges.

And I wouldn't "cheat" in the first place. I would just dump the chick. What a depressing thread this is.
LOL ... phsyically assaulting your girlfriend = "being the man"
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#10
Kilo~

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Join Date: 06/27/2008 | Posts: 614

PillowFire wrote:
WTF is this shit? Whatever happened to being the man? If some crazy started throwing my stuff around like that, I would drop her right there and incapacitate her, not stand there and let her go on her little temper tandrum. Then I would file charges.

And I wouldn't "cheat" in the first place. I would just dump the chick. What a depressing thread this is.
Are you talking from personal experience or just being "hardcore" on the internet?
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