THE FORUMS
The Kayss Khronicles
Went out tonight, the only club during the weekdays whose vibe crowd resembles Friday/Saturday night so it’s a must.
The intention was to go out solo, I’d never really done a proper night where I’ve rocked up by myself, just me and the night. Ended up meeting up with a mate I hadn’t seen in ages who wanted to come out so it wasn’t going to be tonight.
It scares me to go out alone, and I’ve gone out for months having at least one person out with me, but it’s something that I have to get over, so I’m going to do it, probably this or next week.
It was fun tonight, always is. I made a promise to myself that I’d be going harder from now on which means staying in the club long after I start feeling like ‘I want to leave’. I stayed till close at 12, I would have shat my pants if I’d have been in there for 3 hours alone though.
Recently I’ve not feel like I’ve been improving much. I’d go out 3-4 times a week lately and my usual night would run like this.. Do a few warm up approaches, get into a social mood, go around approaching talking to heaps of chicks then leave the club with one or two numbers, a few good reactions and nothing else – for months.
We got in line, chatted to people around us, started being obnoxious and getting into the mood.
Got in, bust open first set, happens to be a friends of a friend who recognizes me, we chat for a bit till they go and get a drink, I’m feeling better.
Upstairs, four girls at the bar, this one is probably the best one all night. I’m always really quick to physically right after I open, claw, and hugging them all, etc. They’re all cool, there’s four of them, two of us. We grab drinks (mine has two parts hydrogen one part oxygen – just like I love it).
They want us to come dance with them, so I assume it’s on. Now they lead to the d-floor, I should have been more decisive and lead them.
Here’s where I think I drop the ball, I’m dancing with a cutie and intermittently have conversation, eventually it dies out and I can feel her emotional heart rate dropping. To make it worse I’m not really grinding with her or getting too physical on the d-floor, I should be unapologetic about this shit. They leave.
As that happens the first set comes back in – same deal, no dice because I’m too scared to over escalate.
1. “you can’t get blown out from over escalating” – keep this in mind and man up next time.
I grab the number of one of these chicks as we fizzle out the dance floor.
This is a LOUD club and I realize I need to be talking much louder, it’s pretty hard and I usually start screaming or most of the time just talk into their ear. One approach I did they couldn’t hear shit so I just cut it short.
For the next two hours me and my mate are just going nuts with the approaching in between bouts of choding. I usually just almost always go incredibly direct, I go shock and awe or apocalypse to ‘get myself into state’ but they turn out to be standard approaches - I’m either getting blown out hard or they’re opening, a bit of both.
None are really sticking as well as the first two so I’m getting pretty discouraged with an hour to go before closing time.
I try “HEY, I’m sexy as fuck.. so you HAVE to meet me…” that’s working well actually. Give a cheeky little smile and they love it. If I go direct I do it to one girl only and after a while the friend usually drags them away.
Do it again, and again. I’m talking to this cute Irish chick and it’s getting pretty physical, we talk about stupid shit, adventures, stealing bar stuff, monkey bars, climbing, at this point I feel I need to keep moving the interaction forward so I’m throwing in “You’re sexy/cute”. Now we’re full on up in each other’s faces, and I’m thinking, make-out could happen now, no wait, I can’t go for it yet, aw shit. As soon as I think that, it’s over. No dice.
I almost always open direct, mainly because I have nothing else going on to say besides that when I throw myself into a set. Don’t think this is the best idea, maybe going up and not blatantly hitting on her would work better sometimes.
The intention was to go out solo, I’d never really done a proper night where I’ve rocked up by myself, just me and the night. Ended up meeting up with a mate I hadn’t seen in ages who wanted to come out so it wasn’t going to be tonight.
It scares me to go out alone, and I’ve gone out for months having at least one person out with me, but it’s something that I have to get over, so I’m going to do it, probably this or next week.
It was fun tonight, always is. I made a promise to myself that I’d be going harder from now on which means staying in the club long after I start feeling like ‘I want to leave’. I stayed till close at 12, I would have shat my pants if I’d have been in there for 3 hours alone though.
Recently I’ve not feel like I’ve been improving much. I’d go out 3-4 times a week lately and my usual night would run like this.. Do a few warm up approaches, get into a social mood, go around approaching talking to heaps of chicks then leave the club with one or two numbers, a few good reactions and nothing else – for months.
We got in line, chatted to people around us, started being obnoxious and getting into the mood.
Got in, bust open first set, happens to be a friends of a friend who recognizes me, we chat for a bit till they go and get a drink, I’m feeling better.
Upstairs, four girls at the bar, this one is probably the best one all night. I’m always really quick to physically right after I open, claw, and hugging them all, etc. They’re all cool, there’s four of them, two of us. We grab drinks (mine has two parts hydrogen one part oxygen – just like I love it).
They want us to come dance with them, so I assume it’s on. Now they lead to the d-floor, I should have been more decisive and lead them.
Here’s where I think I drop the ball, I’m dancing with a cutie and intermittently have conversation, eventually it dies out and I can feel her emotional heart rate dropping. To make it worse I’m not really grinding with her or getting too physical on the d-floor, I should be unapologetic about this shit. They leave.
As that happens the first set comes back in – same deal, no dice because I’m too scared to over escalate.
1. “you can’t get blown out from over escalating” – keep this in mind and man up next time.
I grab the number of one of these chicks as we fizzle out the dance floor.
This is a LOUD club and I realize I need to be talking much louder, it’s pretty hard and I usually start screaming or most of the time just talk into their ear. One approach I did they couldn’t hear shit so I just cut it short.
For the next two hours me and my mate are just going nuts with the approaching in between bouts of choding. I usually just almost always go incredibly direct, I go shock and awe or apocalypse to ‘get myself into state’ but they turn out to be standard approaches - I’m either getting blown out hard or they’re opening, a bit of both.
None are really sticking as well as the first two so I’m getting pretty discouraged with an hour to go before closing time.
I try “HEY, I’m sexy as fuck.. so you HAVE to meet me…” that’s working well actually. Give a cheeky little smile and they love it. If I go direct I do it to one girl only and after a while the friend usually drags them away.
Do it again, and again. I’m talking to this cute Irish chick and it’s getting pretty physical, we talk about stupid shit, adventures, stealing bar stuff, monkey bars, climbing, at this point I feel I need to keep moving the interaction forward so I’m throwing in “You’re sexy/cute”. Now we’re full on up in each other’s faces, and I’m thinking, make-out could happen now, no wait, I can’t go for it yet, aw shit. As soon as I think that, it’s over. No dice.
I almost always open direct, mainly because I have nothing else going on to say besides that when I throw myself into a set. Don’t think this is the best idea, maybe going up and not blatantly hitting on her would work better sometimes.
Yey, weekend!
Headed out with a crew of chicks, decided to ride the social proof train, always in state.
Decided to drink a little tonight also, it always goes down well, to the point of sociable, not too messy.
Dropped by a friend of a friend’s house party beforehand, everyone’s cool. I’m chatting with everyone, getting pretty excited, downing punch.
I see a cutie and start talking to her, drag her round the corner where it’s quiet, start blatantly hitting on her. I think she gets the hint and says she has a partner. I grab her number.
I think I come across as ‘over-expressive’, I’m not sure if it’s a result of trying too hard to impress or I just get too carried away in the fun. I remember Ryan’s article on expressivity - it’s good, but in my head over-expressive can be misinterpreted as gay (the reason I’m writing this is because the above mentioned thought I was gay till I started coming on hard).
Masculine and expressive maybe? Which makes me think that the problem’s not that I’m eccentric at times but more like the need to display more dominance.
So we now head off to the club, it’s insane, the DJ’s mad tonight, I dance with the friends for a while, am loving it.
See a cutie at the bar, grab her arm,
K: “Hey! why are you standing here by yourself, you shouldn’t be lonely”
HB: blah blah
K: [Claw around head, start talking really close] “Well you’re cute, I’m K”
She gives me, ‘the eyes, cheeky smile and keeps her face close. I grab her neck and make out. Yey!
Tell her she’s cool, grab her number –the touch screen is fucked. Dammit.
I noticed that when my sets hook, or they start overtly responding positively, I start to get a tiny bit more nervous, simply because of the fact that I’ve successfully approached and now the responsibility is up to me to take things forward.
It’s the fear of knowing that I have to take a risk in order to make this interaction more than mere fun conversation – something that I’ve learned after countless of ‘chat and eject’ scenarios.
But I love it.
On the dance floor, I go up claw a girl, tell her she’s adorable and she doesn’t not what to do. She’s not resisting but acting very very scared and quiet. It’s on and she loves me. She’s a very shy person though, I tell her – maybe should have said something else – she played into shy girl.
Friend came, I should have talked to friend, sucked up. I should have escalated harder on shy girl.
So I kept thinking – you should be escalating harder
And while I was dancing I saw a girl that I exchanged words with a few times, chucked my arms around her and locked them together around her waist, hard. She started tapping, don’t think she liked it, but she kept dancing – Good that you went for it though.
Gorgeous two set dancing just below the stage. LOUD AS FUCK. Went the usual direct on the blonde, introduced myself to the brunette. The blonde was good, brunette was friendly and said that she was ‘with her’ (meaning go away). But that really means nothing. The going would have gotten harder so I ejected – my friends all wanted to leave anyway.
Had an incredibly fun time though. The DJ was insane. And it was such a mass state pump. However, the main thing I feel bad about is not approaching more and utilizing the opportunity of a wicked club night to be practicing more.
I didn’t want to walk around the club by myself approaching girls when I could be seen on stage dancing with a 9 to my favorite tunes. Next time I’ll probs cut down on that.
Headed out with a crew of chicks, decided to ride the social proof train, always in state.
Decided to drink a little tonight also, it always goes down well, to the point of sociable, not too messy.
Dropped by a friend of a friend’s house party beforehand, everyone’s cool. I’m chatting with everyone, getting pretty excited, downing punch.
I see a cutie and start talking to her, drag her round the corner where it’s quiet, start blatantly hitting on her. I think she gets the hint and says she has a partner. I grab her number.
I think I come across as ‘over-expressive’, I’m not sure if it’s a result of trying too hard to impress or I just get too carried away in the fun. I remember Ryan’s article on expressivity - it’s good, but in my head over-expressive can be misinterpreted as gay (the reason I’m writing this is because the above mentioned thought I was gay till I started coming on hard).
Masculine and expressive maybe? Which makes me think that the problem’s not that I’m eccentric at times but more like the need to display more dominance.
So we now head off to the club, it’s insane, the DJ’s mad tonight, I dance with the friends for a while, am loving it.
See a cutie at the bar, grab her arm,
K: “Hey! why are you standing here by yourself, you shouldn’t be lonely”
HB: blah blah
K: [Claw around head, start talking really close] “Well you’re cute, I’m K”
She gives me, ‘the eyes, cheeky smile and keeps her face close. I grab her neck and make out. Yey!
Tell her she’s cool, grab her number –the touch screen is fucked. Dammit.
I noticed that when my sets hook, or they start overtly responding positively, I start to get a tiny bit more nervous, simply because of the fact that I’ve successfully approached and now the responsibility is up to me to take things forward.
It’s the fear of knowing that I have to take a risk in order to make this interaction more than mere fun conversation – something that I’ve learned after countless of ‘chat and eject’ scenarios.
But I love it.
On the dance floor, I go up claw a girl, tell her she’s adorable and she doesn’t not what to do. She’s not resisting but acting very very scared and quiet. It’s on and she loves me. She’s a very shy person though, I tell her – maybe should have said something else – she played into shy girl.
Friend came, I should have talked to friend, sucked up. I should have escalated harder on shy girl.
So I kept thinking – you should be escalating harder
And while I was dancing I saw a girl that I exchanged words with a few times, chucked my arms around her and locked them together around her waist, hard. She started tapping, don’t think she liked it, but she kept dancing – Good that you went for it though.
Gorgeous two set dancing just below the stage. LOUD AS FUCK. Went the usual direct on the blonde, introduced myself to the brunette. The blonde was good, brunette was friendly and said that she was ‘with her’ (meaning go away). But that really means nothing. The going would have gotten harder so I ejected – my friends all wanted to leave anyway.
Had an incredibly fun time though. The DJ was insane. And it was such a mass state pump. However, the main thing I feel bad about is not approaching more and utilizing the opportunity of a wicked club night to be practicing more.
I didn’t want to walk around the club by myself approaching girls when I could be seen on stage dancing with a 9 to my favorite tunes. Next time I’ll probs cut down on that.
Cool. Glad to see you getting on the boards at such as young age.
__________________
Building the RSD Inner Circle community (www.rsdinnercircle.com) around world from the friends I made - find your own wingman within the program, and I hope to see at the regional conferences or RSD World Summit (www.rsdworldsummit.com).
Just refresing the thread with a few points on my Saturday night
House party with old school mates then met up with the boys in town.
A few interesting points
You went back to your 'old self' around your friends from school - even after all these nights - still happy fun guy incredibly sociable and friendly, not enough chaos.
If you felt that this didn’t need to be worked on (social circle), then why did you not have social mastery of the room? Even though you knew everybody there was HEAPS of opportunity to flirt around with girls, vibe, and have a good time with people. However, you just kept looking forward to going out later on and approaching strangers (obsession?)
Next time.. events like these – go get hammered and get into state, you will learn, yes, even over going clubbing to approach random girls.
Don't use excuses (I know everyone, I can't fuck shit up)
One of the reasons and drives for starting this stuff was a gnawing sense of social inadequacy at parties like these a few years back, however, now that I'm well into my journey - that night I felt that it was 'a waste of my time' because I wasn't utilising a Saturday night to go out and do shitloads of approaches - I think there's some value in having a good time with people I know.
Met up at a bar in town with a few of the lairdudes in my city..
First smashed a seated 4 set, these things are pretty easy, I know I won't get blown out because it's a chill bar and they're all seated, and from previous experiences, I'm a cool guy, I'm friendly and people sense that. But I also know that I can't take things further than just conversation because they all look like they're in their mid 20s. And hence, the structure of (most) sets I do where it's not high energy go down exactly like this:
Open with whatever and talk for a bit till they open up
Usually it's fun, we're all having a cool time, there may be a lull in the conversation
Age inevitably comes up and they realise how young I am. In this case they called me a 'baby' and said I was 'cute'.
I've tried every flirty witty comeback I can think of - but the 'vibe' is still the same (it feels like a no go)
Conversation dies and I eject, go for the number (or I just keep talking my way into conversational land)
Now I've been stuck with this for ages, and I'm pretty sure it's all in MY head. But I have no idea what to do/try to get over it. I have a few ideas.. I think I may be too 'entertainer fun' guy, I might try and impress too much, or I just lack the intense masculine dominance to lead escalate and let them know that I want to fuck the shit out of them - communicate intent. Ideas?
Headed off to a small club later on in the night, did a few half assed approaches. Went home out of state.
I just read the above line and felt a little disgusted, I'm going to sign a little promise to myself.. Next time I can’t go home till I’ve blown myself out of every set I can if I feel I haven't given it my all. Commit to yourself dude.
House party with old school mates then met up with the boys in town.
A few interesting points
You went back to your 'old self' around your friends from school - even after all these nights - still happy fun guy incredibly sociable and friendly, not enough chaos.
If you felt that this didn’t need to be worked on (social circle), then why did you not have social mastery of the room? Even though you knew everybody there was HEAPS of opportunity to flirt around with girls, vibe, and have a good time with people. However, you just kept looking forward to going out later on and approaching strangers (obsession?)
Next time.. events like these – go get hammered and get into state, you will learn, yes, even over going clubbing to approach random girls.
Don't use excuses (I know everyone, I can't fuck shit up)
One of the reasons and drives for starting this stuff was a gnawing sense of social inadequacy at parties like these a few years back, however, now that I'm well into my journey - that night I felt that it was 'a waste of my time' because I wasn't utilising a Saturday night to go out and do shitloads of approaches - I think there's some value in having a good time with people I know.
Met up at a bar in town with a few of the lairdudes in my city..
First smashed a seated 4 set, these things are pretty easy, I know I won't get blown out because it's a chill bar and they're all seated, and from previous experiences, I'm a cool guy, I'm friendly and people sense that. But I also know that I can't take things further than just conversation because they all look like they're in their mid 20s. And hence, the structure of (most) sets I do where it's not high energy go down exactly like this:
Open with whatever and talk for a bit till they open up
Usually it's fun, we're all having a cool time, there may be a lull in the conversation
Age inevitably comes up and they realise how young I am. In this case they called me a 'baby' and said I was 'cute'.
I've tried every flirty witty comeback I can think of - but the 'vibe' is still the same (it feels like a no go)
Conversation dies and I eject, go for the number (or I just keep talking my way into conversational land)
Now I've been stuck with this for ages, and I'm pretty sure it's all in MY head. But I have no idea what to do/try to get over it. I have a few ideas.. I think I may be too 'entertainer fun' guy, I might try and impress too much, or I just lack the intense masculine dominance to lead escalate and let them know that I want to fuck the shit out of them - communicate intent. Ideas?
Headed off to a small club later on in the night, did a few half assed approaches. Went home out of state.
I just read the above line and felt a little disgusted, I'm going to sign a little promise to myself.. Next time I can’t go home till I’ve blown myself out of every set I can if I feel I haven't given it my all. Commit to yourself dude.
Oh, Cheers Papa,
Greatly appreciate the comment, it's really awesome to see even people like you having the time of day to comment on these
Greatly appreciate the comment, it's really awesome to see even people like you having the time of day to comment on these
Had a pretty awesome night. Set myself at least 10 approaches tonight as a baseline before I could go home. I don't really do this but it's actually a really good system. It gets you into the mindset of having to take action (even if it is for the sake of getting them done) - which is way better than just choding out. You know that it's pretty easy to just walk up and spit out shit to 10 people so the outcome for the night isn't that much, but also in talking to 10 different groups of people, you know that somewhere in those you it is enough interaction to at least gain something from the night. Got in the club just before 10pm. Met Flare and went upstairs. Right now I’m feeling heaps of pressure, what’s going through my head is along the lines of “I’m here tonight to productively practice my social skills and approach” – so I feel that I have to do the first set I see, they walk past, I get more pressured, eventually I crack..
1. Smashed open a seated two set, walking straight up with “I love you, will you marry me, I think you’d make my life complete”, get names, say hi to friend, and start flirting with brunette girl. She’s got a boyfriend, after I ask her if she’s single the conversation stalls for a bit. I’ve been noticing that I’m getting better recently, whenever this happens I just force myself to pop out the first thing I think of.. ‘Dancers, Get Shaky, my ringtone, Riverside, House music, music’ and conversationality returns. Then the friend being bored as fuck drags her away. Oh well. Should have gotten her attention? maybe – but I was doing pretty good with the one girl.
2. Apocalypse – she’s cool, tells me I have balls. I banter around for a minute, but then she ‘’has to drive her friends home”. I didn’t withstand the pressure enough when I delivered it and admittedly I followed up her “no” with “aw, I thought It’d work, I know it’s ridiculous but I thought it was funny”, yuk.
3. Apocalypse again – haha, no dice. I don’t think she even talked. Ah well, she wanted me anyway, even if she was a mute.
Met a couple of chick friends – around social circle I’m the bomb, but hey gotta get this cold approach shit handled right. I see a girl I lead to the dance floor last week, didn’t pull the trigger tho, don’t have a reason why, I think I can feel my ovaries developing. Well she seemed pretty keen, but when I’m not trashed I’m not sleezy, and when I’m not sleezy I can’t really caveman. Cool observation dude – now what are you going to do about it?
4. Another two set, told one girl she was adorable, and she was loving it, but the friend wasn’t – drag away instant. Fucken friends.
So right now I’m pretty frustrated, and the night’s only started to begin. Flare and I decide to hit up the club next door before it starts getting busy. I used to go there every week when I started out so I know the bouncer pretty well, oh and shit, he got us in for free for the first time ever. If going out approaching girls for 8 months solid has had its rewards, now’s a prime example, I just saved myself a 5 buck cover charge – fuck yeah stoked.
5. Not a lot of sets in the club yet, me and a mate decide to chat to fattys, they’re cool – personality wise, one’s quite cute and I’m paying attention to her more. Not really into them but being sociable is nice. I pretend to be Swedish for a while.
6. I see the most glorious girl I’ve ever seen in my life. Probably a 9, I’d say pushing close to it. I think I’m in love. I tap her on the shoulder, with a big smile and genuinely tell her she’s cute and I have to meet her. Her and her friend instantly light up and are fucken loving me. Woohoo. We chat for a while, and I swear these girls are loving everything that comes out of my mouth, which is odd since it’s no better than the shit I span with the last chicks – and these ones are a billion times hotter. She’s got a boyfriend – fuck. Ah well, I still got her number, she says I’d make a sick friend (this sticking point is really getting to me hey) and I still told her I’d ring her for booty calls. I don’t think I was joking?
7. Some chick with the same scarf as me, she’s 21, and pretty fucken cool – till I realize that there’s a photo of her baby son as her phone background. I leave.
8. Another chick wearing a scarf. She doesn’t do the cool triangle looking thing with it and I tell her she has to do it to be cool. She introduces herself and asks my name, then her friends meet me, and… goes off and gets a drink. I talk to her later on in the night and nothing really eventuates.
Flare introduces me to a dude who was on Alex’s bootcamp last weekend while he was over here on the west side yo. This guy’s a top bloke, sick cunt if you will. Actually takes action to approach and is a fun guy.
9. We’re right on the outskirts of dancefloor city and I ask if he wants to smash into those two girls dancing infront of us – he agrees, Jurassic Park style. I start shouting and say something like “Oh, who’s this wicked sick crazy guy coming up to dance with us!!! OMG he must be pretty fucken awesome!! Hi, I’m K!”. We grind. Now she’s into me, a bit nervous, and shy, she’s dancing on me and I’m full on kino-stylez. My matey next to me says hi to some dude and the dude is all over him (don’t say hi to some dudes, they may be gay and unbeknownst to them, cockblock you). So I’m still with my girl and it’s getting a bit shit so I decide to amp it up, “you know you’re fucking cute, etc.”
See now this is where I feel quite odd. I feel like I have to keep getting physical and then interjecting witty or direct lines to escalate the situation and after a while I sort of run out of shit to do. The friend is obviously there dancing by herself but still ‘with us’ – I probs would have made out with her then and there but a) my estrogen at that point in time I think was irregularly high (I was a pussy), and b) if she ‘rejected’ the kiss, her friend would see me (which is essentially a.).
So I just grab her number and relentlessly flirt with the 9s who are just next to us – to make myself feel a little better. It felt like I should and could possibly make out with her, but too late. Just go for it you fucker. I have no problem with this when I’m ethanol induced, but tonight, just pure good ol di-hydrogen oxide for me only.
10. So it’s pretty late, I have uni tomorrow (which is in a few hours) and I want to get 10 approaches done, so I consult the boys with the most ridiculous thing we can think of at the time.
K: “Hey, I like your eyes, I think we’d make really really good looking babies”
hottie: “I don’t think my boyfriend would think so”
K: “ah well, that’s cool, nice meetin ya” [end transmission]
So I did some cool things and there were loads of times when I could have taken things further. However, I’m trying not to beat myself up over it too hard. I used to come home and get fucken pissed off – even if I had an ok night, I’d pick out all the times where I was a pussy, didn’t escalate, and think I’d suck. However, cumulatively the shit I did tonight I didn't do a few months ago, and the stuff I did a few months ago was different to when I first started. So in a sense, I have been improving, as long as I keep going out and pushing my boundaries, I shouldn’t bang my head against a wall too hard.
Before I went out tonight it felt like going to the gym after a long day at uni – cbf. But now thinking back on it, it was fucken awesome, I went out and had an adventure. Met new people, had good fun and improved myself (even if I can’t notice it at the time) – and you know what, just like the feeling after you get when you up a new weight or can do more reps – it feels fucking great.
1. Smashed open a seated two set, walking straight up with “I love you, will you marry me, I think you’d make my life complete”, get names, say hi to friend, and start flirting with brunette girl. She’s got a boyfriend, after I ask her if she’s single the conversation stalls for a bit. I’ve been noticing that I’m getting better recently, whenever this happens I just force myself to pop out the first thing I think of.. ‘Dancers, Get Shaky, my ringtone, Riverside, House music, music’ and conversationality returns. Then the friend being bored as fuck drags her away. Oh well. Should have gotten her attention? maybe – but I was doing pretty good with the one girl.
2. Apocalypse – she’s cool, tells me I have balls. I banter around for a minute, but then she ‘’has to drive her friends home”. I didn’t withstand the pressure enough when I delivered it and admittedly I followed up her “no” with “aw, I thought It’d work, I know it’s ridiculous but I thought it was funny”, yuk.
3. Apocalypse again – haha, no dice. I don’t think she even talked. Ah well, she wanted me anyway, even if she was a mute.
Met a couple of chick friends – around social circle I’m the bomb, but hey gotta get this cold approach shit handled right. I see a girl I lead to the dance floor last week, didn’t pull the trigger tho, don’t have a reason why, I think I can feel my ovaries developing. Well she seemed pretty keen, but when I’m not trashed I’m not sleezy, and when I’m not sleezy I can’t really caveman. Cool observation dude – now what are you going to do about it?
4. Another two set, told one girl she was adorable, and she was loving it, but the friend wasn’t – drag away instant. Fucken friends.
So right now I’m pretty frustrated, and the night’s only started to begin. Flare and I decide to hit up the club next door before it starts getting busy. I used to go there every week when I started out so I know the bouncer pretty well, oh and shit, he got us in for free for the first time ever. If going out approaching girls for 8 months solid has had its rewards, now’s a prime example, I just saved myself a 5 buck cover charge – fuck yeah stoked.
5. Not a lot of sets in the club yet, me and a mate decide to chat to fattys, they’re cool – personality wise, one’s quite cute and I’m paying attention to her more. Not really into them but being sociable is nice. I pretend to be Swedish for a while.
6. I see the most glorious girl I’ve ever seen in my life. Probably a 9, I’d say pushing close to it. I think I’m in love. I tap her on the shoulder, with a big smile and genuinely tell her she’s cute and I have to meet her. Her and her friend instantly light up and are fucken loving me. Woohoo. We chat for a while, and I swear these girls are loving everything that comes out of my mouth, which is odd since it’s no better than the shit I span with the last chicks – and these ones are a billion times hotter. She’s got a boyfriend – fuck. Ah well, I still got her number, she says I’d make a sick friend (this sticking point is really getting to me hey) and I still told her I’d ring her for booty calls. I don’t think I was joking?
7. Some chick with the same scarf as me, she’s 21, and pretty fucken cool – till I realize that there’s a photo of her baby son as her phone background. I leave.
8. Another chick wearing a scarf. She doesn’t do the cool triangle looking thing with it and I tell her she has to do it to be cool. She introduces herself and asks my name, then her friends meet me, and… goes off and gets a drink. I talk to her later on in the night and nothing really eventuates.
Flare introduces me to a dude who was on Alex’s bootcamp last weekend while he was over here on the west side yo. This guy’s a top bloke, sick cunt if you will. Actually takes action to approach and is a fun guy.
9. We’re right on the outskirts of dancefloor city and I ask if he wants to smash into those two girls dancing infront of us – he agrees, Jurassic Park style. I start shouting and say something like “Oh, who’s this wicked sick crazy guy coming up to dance with us!!! OMG he must be pretty fucken awesome!! Hi, I’m K!”. We grind. Now she’s into me, a bit nervous, and shy, she’s dancing on me and I’m full on kino-stylez. My matey next to me says hi to some dude and the dude is all over him (don’t say hi to some dudes, they may be gay and unbeknownst to them, cockblock you). So I’m still with my girl and it’s getting a bit shit so I decide to amp it up, “you know you’re fucking cute, etc.”
See now this is where I feel quite odd. I feel like I have to keep getting physical and then interjecting witty or direct lines to escalate the situation and after a while I sort of run out of shit to do. The friend is obviously there dancing by herself but still ‘with us’ – I probs would have made out with her then and there but a) my estrogen at that point in time I think was irregularly high (I was a pussy), and b) if she ‘rejected’ the kiss, her friend would see me (which is essentially a.).
So I just grab her number and relentlessly flirt with the 9s who are just next to us – to make myself feel a little better. It felt like I should and could possibly make out with her, but too late. Just go for it you fucker. I have no problem with this when I’m ethanol induced, but tonight, just pure good ol di-hydrogen oxide for me only.
10. So it’s pretty late, I have uni tomorrow (which is in a few hours) and I want to get 10 approaches done, so I consult the boys with the most ridiculous thing we can think of at the time.
K: “Hey, I like your eyes, I think we’d make really really good looking babies”
hottie: “I don’t think my boyfriend would think so”
K: “ah well, that’s cool, nice meetin ya” [end transmission]
So I did some cool things and there were loads of times when I could have taken things further. However, I’m trying not to beat myself up over it too hard. I used to come home and get fucken pissed off – even if I had an ok night, I’d pick out all the times where I was a pussy, didn’t escalate, and think I’d suck. However, cumulatively the shit I did tonight I didn't do a few months ago, and the stuff I did a few months ago was different to when I first started. So in a sense, I have been improving, as long as I keep going out and pushing my boundaries, I shouldn’t bang my head against a wall too hard.
Before I went out tonight it felt like going to the gym after a long day at uni – cbf. But now thinking back on it, it was fucken awesome, I went out and had an adventure. Met new people, had good fun and improved myself (even if I can’t notice it at the time) – and you know what, just like the feeling after you get when you up a new weight or can do more reps – it feels fucking great.
I met Alex tonight - pretty fucking trippy actually..
Started off at an Irish pub for a cousin’s going away drinks, was a little shit so decided to head off to the Deen. Met up with Jim and he tells me Alex was there, I was like holy fuck, I get to meet him, yey. Didn't know he flew over here all that often.
I was in pretty good shape and kept approaching relentlessly. Some awesome shit, some blowouts, just went all balls in. Felt good. I can’t really recall a lot of the details, but I did a shitload of approaching. A lot of dancing was fun, especially when wicked house songs came on, that was sick. I’ve been sifting through a lot of ministry lately, and it’s always on which makes me happy on the inside.
So I go up and introduce myself to the guy and realize he’s running a bootcamp, aw that’s pretty cool, I’ve never seen one of those in action.
I was talking to two girls when Jim apparently told Alex, “hey, mind taking two mins out to meet a fan of yours” pointing at me. So he walks up to my girl and makes out with her on the spot. I didn’t know what to say – pretty fucking speechless actually. amazing shit. I’d still love to know how the fuck he did that.
Also met a couple of students and ex-students of his, all awesome blokes, always in set. It was a pretty cool vibe to be out with like-minded people. Gets me even more fucken amped to continue saving for bc.
Actually this is an important point, the energy of the night felt a lot different, it felt natural to continuously approach, and it was awesome to see everyone else doing it. I can remember countless times when I’ve been to that club and stood by myself getting in my head, really none of that tonight.
A few things on myself tonight:
People are reacting to me way more positively when I fucken rock the dance floor with a smile from ear to ear.
Some hotties which I have a preconception that I'd totally bum out are actually really cool if you just man up and talk to them
I can recall a lot of times, I’d be grinding with a girl after going straight up to her, and she was lovin it, but after a while the friends would come in, or she’d just turn back and off. Not sure if I should keep talking intermittently or going harder with the escalation.
I talk too much and not make out with them straight away.
And like always, it's heaps of fun, fucken love it.
K
Started off at an Irish pub for a cousin’s going away drinks, was a little shit so decided to head off to the Deen. Met up with Jim and he tells me Alex was there, I was like holy fuck, I get to meet him, yey. Didn't know he flew over here all that often.
I was in pretty good shape and kept approaching relentlessly. Some awesome shit, some blowouts, just went all balls in. Felt good. I can’t really recall a lot of the details, but I did a shitload of approaching. A lot of dancing was fun, especially when wicked house songs came on, that was sick. I’ve been sifting through a lot of ministry lately, and it’s always on which makes me happy on the inside.
So I go up and introduce myself to the guy and realize he’s running a bootcamp, aw that’s pretty cool, I’ve never seen one of those in action.
I was talking to two girls when Jim apparently told Alex, “hey, mind taking two mins out to meet a fan of yours” pointing at me. So he walks up to my girl and makes out with her on the spot. I didn’t know what to say – pretty fucking speechless actually. amazing shit. I’d still love to know how the fuck he did that.
Also met a couple of students and ex-students of his, all awesome blokes, always in set. It was a pretty cool vibe to be out with like-minded people. Gets me even more fucken amped to continue saving for bc.
Actually this is an important point, the energy of the night felt a lot different, it felt natural to continuously approach, and it was awesome to see everyone else doing it. I can remember countless times when I’ve been to that club and stood by myself getting in my head, really none of that tonight.
A few things on myself tonight:
People are reacting to me way more positively when I fucken rock the dance floor with a smile from ear to ear.
Some hotties which I have a preconception that I'd totally bum out are actually really cool if you just man up and talk to them
I can recall a lot of times, I’d be grinding with a girl after going straight up to her, and she was lovin it, but after a while the friends would come in, or she’d just turn back and off. Not sure if I should keep talking intermittently or going harder with the escalation.
I talk too much and not make out with them straight away.
And like always, it's heaps of fun, fucken love it.
K
Just keeping up to date with my journal.
I’ve just been going out 3 nights a week, and think can only do that this semester since it’s getting pretty insane. I feel pretty guilty about not hitting it as hard as I could but don’t want to fuck up study.
Recently, instead of making sure I msg all my mates and have a solid crew out I’ve just been trying to go out with one or two guys. I want to get over my fear of hitting it alone.
Also my medium term plans are as follows: next three months till end of uni, 3 nights a week. Then straight after exams, summertimes, 3 months of glory – 30 day challenges, clubbing hard.
I’m well underway saving for bootcamp, I’ve fully decided I want to do this and commit, mega excited, should have enough roughly before the end of the year with part time work.
What I’ve been up to the past two weeks:
Been hitting a few parties/events but making sure I’m approaching at all of these, and making a solid effort to go out clubbing after every night.
Making an effort to follow up on numbers and flakes.
Been becoming complacent with where I am – going up chatting, making it look awesome but ejecting on worthwhile sets.
Went out last Saturday pissed and acted like a cocky uncalibrated wanker. But great lessons learned – sometimes I put on this ‘persona’ because I think that’s what I ‘should’ do – however, had no empathy for their emotions.
Sober challenge starting from this week. I also don’t really have time to write off a day (and a potentially productive night). No drunk times for the rest of August.
Going out tomorrow …yeeeeeoooowwww!!!!
I feel when I go out my nights are always fun, I never regret it, and have a blast. However, I feel I need to take more action and use the most of my time effectively and improve as fast as I can. A massive quote that I always remember is this: “..There’s only one criteria for success, you storm the barricades long after every one else has given up, beat that shit down with your bare fists if need be.” – Ciaran. I remember reading this one day on here and saving it. It’s amazingly put. To be where I want to be primarily takes balls and the willingness to man the fuck up and take action. This means not ejecting under pressure, walking up to whoever you want to talk to, or escalating shamelessly.
Over the past few nights when I’ve been out that’s all I’ve been focusing on – doing it, doesn’t matter what, or if I think it’s right or wrong, or what I’m feeling – just doing something at any moment.
I’ve just been going out 3 nights a week, and think can only do that this semester since it’s getting pretty insane. I feel pretty guilty about not hitting it as hard as I could but don’t want to fuck up study.
Recently, instead of making sure I msg all my mates and have a solid crew out I’ve just been trying to go out with one or two guys. I want to get over my fear of hitting it alone.
Also my medium term plans are as follows: next three months till end of uni, 3 nights a week. Then straight after exams, summertimes, 3 months of glory – 30 day challenges, clubbing hard.
I’m well underway saving for bootcamp, I’ve fully decided I want to do this and commit, mega excited, should have enough roughly before the end of the year with part time work.
What I’ve been up to the past two weeks:
Been hitting a few parties/events but making sure I’m approaching at all of these, and making a solid effort to go out clubbing after every night.
Making an effort to follow up on numbers and flakes.
Been becoming complacent with where I am – going up chatting, making it look awesome but ejecting on worthwhile sets.
Went out last Saturday pissed and acted like a cocky uncalibrated wanker. But great lessons learned – sometimes I put on this ‘persona’ because I think that’s what I ‘should’ do – however, had no empathy for their emotions.
Sober challenge starting from this week. I also don’t really have time to write off a day (and a potentially productive night). No drunk times for the rest of August.
Going out tomorrow …yeeeeeoooowwww!!!!
I feel when I go out my nights are always fun, I never regret it, and have a blast. However, I feel I need to take more action and use the most of my time effectively and improve as fast as I can. A massive quote that I always remember is this: “..There’s only one criteria for success, you storm the barricades long after every one else has given up, beat that shit down with your bare fists if need be.” – Ciaran. I remember reading this one day on here and saving it. It’s amazingly put. To be where I want to be primarily takes balls and the willingness to man the fuck up and take action. This means not ejecting under pressure, walking up to whoever you want to talk to, or escalating shamelessly.
Over the past few nights when I’ve been out that’s all I’ve been focusing on – doing it, doesn’t matter what, or if I think it’s right or wrong, or what I’m feeling – just doing something at any moment.
Hey dude you from Perth aye?
im 18 from perth too :)
if your saw some random dude high fiving every girl in sight on saturday at northbridge that woulda been me :p
im 18 from perth too :)
if your saw some random dude high fiving every girl in sight on saturday at northbridge that woulda been me :p
Always good fun :) My Wed.
Sexy Bitch was on three times, heard it first last week, it's a fuken sick song.
Stuff I learned/experienced
Make yourself do at least 10 approaches and get momentum up from the start – it’s a good way to do things.
I care less about bumming out a set – because a lot of it varies, it’s hit and miss, sometimes you can get blown the fuck out and sometimes they will absolutely love you
Walked up to a girl and told her that she’s a Dardy – she introduces herself and BEGS her friend to meet me (even goes out of her way for her friend to meet you). This happened tonight and has happened before. Pretty cool.
Just walking up to anyone and vomiting whatever shit that comes out can be scary, and is scary, but you just do it anyway (first set of the night was gaaay), but then it got easier, and I gave less of a fuck.
You can’t be superman everynight, but you shouldn’t be an absolute chode – take responsibility – throw yourself into things that scare you
Went for the makeout with one chick, didn’t get it, took one chick to the bar and conversation got boring. They were both ridiculously attractive.
Got a phone number because she loved me.
Bummed out a few sets but no one really blows you out – you only blow yourself out by not hitting the rhythm of interaction right. If you come from the wrong place (ie. you think they’re cooler than you and you come across as scared), you’ll fuck it.
If you don’t kino early, you’re fucked. It feels awkward and incongruent later on. But I find if they don’t respond favorably, I don’t kino off the bat. Work on building up physicality.
Sometimes ‘how ya going’ is enough. Don’t make an elaborate self amusing story to stack off the opener – that can come across as weird sometimes. You can open with just a vibe.
o I walked up with HI, and she said HI back, positively.. but I kept going with, yeah it’s ok, I do interpretive dance so we can be friends. Chode. lost.
No one really cares that you hit on girls. Fuck them.
Really, a crucial thing I experienced tonight was that the responses from any one set doesn’t define you. Just because you don’t take action in one and escalate – doesn’t mean the next one won’t go down smooth as fuck. You can never be perfect in every situation.
Some people will still blow you out, some people will still love you.
Get over it, accept that, and you don’t take rejection as personally.
This 'going up with nothing and trying to be out of my head' is going well. I’m better than before, but I’m still putting on false fronts. I can tell, it shines through. Some times I get the feeling that we ‘get it’ and both of us are on the same page, and somestimes it doesn't. Before it was, me and really hot girl, what do I say, is it right thing to say? what do I say to that. Now it’s more like – oh hot girl, I’ll man up and tell her she;s hot because I’ll feel shit if I don’t. Oh cool, I’m just going to talk about whatever. Claw her in. Then at this point I start to get a little anxious and freak out a little.
It’s like the “wow, I can’t believe this stunner is into me” oh shit – what do I do to pull her? and. in the process.. blow myself out. sweet.
I feel like I'm just going through the motions sometimes. But clubbing makes me incredibly happy always.
K.
Sexy Bitch was on three times, heard it first last week, it's a fuken sick song.
Stuff I learned/experienced
Make yourself do at least 10 approaches and get momentum up from the start – it’s a good way to do things.
I care less about bumming out a set – because a lot of it varies, it’s hit and miss, sometimes you can get blown the fuck out and sometimes they will absolutely love you
Walked up to a girl and told her that she’s a Dardy – she introduces herself and BEGS her friend to meet me (even goes out of her way for her friend to meet you). This happened tonight and has happened before. Pretty cool.
Just walking up to anyone and vomiting whatever shit that comes out can be scary, and is scary, but you just do it anyway (first set of the night was gaaay), but then it got easier, and I gave less of a fuck.
You can’t be superman everynight, but you shouldn’t be an absolute chode – take responsibility – throw yourself into things that scare you
Went for the makeout with one chick, didn’t get it, took one chick to the bar and conversation got boring. They were both ridiculously attractive.
Got a phone number because she loved me.
Bummed out a few sets but no one really blows you out – you only blow yourself out by not hitting the rhythm of interaction right. If you come from the wrong place (ie. you think they’re cooler than you and you come across as scared), you’ll fuck it.
If you don’t kino early, you’re fucked. It feels awkward and incongruent later on. But I find if they don’t respond favorably, I don’t kino off the bat. Work on building up physicality.
Sometimes ‘how ya going’ is enough. Don’t make an elaborate self amusing story to stack off the opener – that can come across as weird sometimes. You can open with just a vibe.
o I walked up with HI, and she said HI back, positively.. but I kept going with, yeah it’s ok, I do interpretive dance so we can be friends. Chode. lost.
No one really cares that you hit on girls. Fuck them.
Really, a crucial thing I experienced tonight was that the responses from any one set doesn’t define you. Just because you don’t take action in one and escalate – doesn’t mean the next one won’t go down smooth as fuck. You can never be perfect in every situation.
Some people will still blow you out, some people will still love you.
Get over it, accept that, and you don’t take rejection as personally.
This 'going up with nothing and trying to be out of my head' is going well. I’m better than before, but I’m still putting on false fronts. I can tell, it shines through. Some times I get the feeling that we ‘get it’ and both of us are on the same page, and somestimes it doesn't. Before it was, me and really hot girl, what do I say, is it right thing to say? what do I say to that. Now it’s more like – oh hot girl, I’ll man up and tell her she;s hot because I’ll feel shit if I don’t. Oh cool, I’m just going to talk about whatever. Claw her in. Then at this point I start to get a little anxious and freak out a little.
It’s like the “wow, I can’t believe this stunner is into me” oh shit – what do I do to pull her? and. in the process.. blow myself out. sweet.
I feel like I'm just going through the motions sometimes. But clubbing makes me incredibly happy always.
K.
Kayss
Junior Member
Join Date: 12/20/2008 | Posts: 23
I'm Kayss, I'm 18 years old, and I'm improving myself.
I'm starting up a FR thread. Seems like the logical thing to do.
So here's a little background of myself, and where I'm at at the moment.
When I was fifteen, my first girlfriend ever broke up with me. I was distraught, emotional low. Of course during the relationship I did the usual, told her that I loved her every five seconds, offered to buy her things, take her to the movies, be with her forever, usual chode cherish bullshit. I didn’t understand, what had I done wrong?
One of my best mates said to me one of the most profound things which I still remember.. That I wasn’t in love with the girl, I was in love with the idea of having a girlfriend. A few days later, he sent me an email.. I can’t remember exactly what it was, but it was a list of tips from a seduction newsletter. And according to this awe inspiring list.. I’d don’t everything possibly wrong.
In the weeks to follow, I would frequently google permutations of ‘how to get girls/girlfriends/chicks’, in that period of my life I found, ‘the community’.
There were guys all over the world teaching this stuff.. This was gold! I could learn how to pick up anyone I wanted, and get a super hot girlfriend. I thought to myself.. I had to learn it.
At the end of that year, I remember going out over the summer and saying Hi to 50 people. I couldn’t progress past that tho..
For the next two years I put this stuff on hold. All the material in the community was geared towards a nightclub learning environment. My excuse, I wasn’t 18. The real excuse, I was scared.
So when the time came when I could use my ID, there was NO EXCUSES, no way was I going to pussy out.
I remember on my birthday, I left my friends for a bit I took a walk around the bar by myself, and saw girls left, right, centre.. and a grin came across my face. I was scared as fuck, but I would soon be able to talk to these chicks, and make them totally into me.
I didn’t know how I was going to do it. It didn’t matter. It was going to happen.
That was just under a year ago and for the last 8 months I've been out relentlessly approaching chicks clubbing 3-5 nights a week every week. Boy have I learnt a shitload.
It became an obsession (I guess it still is), I devoured all the theory I could, over the summer I started out at 3 times a week which eventually came to 6 just before holidays end. I still went out 3-4 nights during the semester and in my midyear break I was out pretty much every night. I'm a pretty motivated motherfucker.
In February I discovered RSD, I began delving into the mass pit of value offering, I watched the Blueprint and it fucking blew my mind. That one piece of self help material has probably been the most life changing thing I've come across.
I dropped the lines, I started working on inner game, I opened my eyes to the true nature of social interaction, I realised that superman didn't exist, that I had to love myself, and that this game is a journey.
I've got a massive archive of notes and FRs that I write after nights out and have figured that I should start posting them. Honestly I didn't want to because a) I would care too much of what other people think and b) people I know might 'find out' about my adventures. But really, these are stupid things I have to get over and the value I can get from community feedback far outweighs that - so I've decided I'm going to begin posting on RSD nation.
I've also hit a plateau in that I'm going out and approaching every night with shit all success recently. More of the specifics in the FRs.
For this reason I've also decided to start saving for bootcamp, currently studying it's going to be hard - but based on the reviews, it is the best investment I could ever make, especially after coming this far.
So enjoy guys, I'm Kayss, and these are my adventures.