THE FORUMS

December 5th, 2016
LeftHand's Journal
Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)
Bookmark and Share
LeftHand

LeftHand

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/12/2007 | Posts: 1104

I took a bootcamp with Ryan in LA two weeks ago. It was really eye opening, I think the most important things I took from it were the tremendous role that self fulfilling prophecies and raport dynamics have in this game. Throw in some fun and awesomeness and you have a recipe for glory times.

So this is the start of a new journal, it'll be completed when I:
1. Am at a point where AA is no longer an issue for me. Best case scenario is that I never feel it. Worst case, I'll feel it but never hessitate because of it.
2. Can go out to a venue at any night I choose and pull easily. (test case: pull seven nights in a row)
3. Have the ability to go up to any group of people and comfortably start and carry a conversation, anywhere.

I'm reserving the ability to continue the journal if I want to tack on new goals.(I want to throw in some ridiculous challenges when my skillz are good enough)

Methods:
Go out twice a week, three times every other week. (EDIT: 5+ nights a week now, I'm hitting up every cute girl I see and sometimes the meh ones for fun. I should keep improving steadily if I keep this up.)
Make at least one approach per day
Workout 4-6 days a week
Meditate every day
Monitor and change my inner dialogue and emotions to aid me on a moment to moment basis.
__________________
"One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the
critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the
best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he
knows that every day is Doomsday"
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
FR's detailing my progression
Login or register to post.
#1
LeftHand

LeftHand

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/12/2007 | Posts: 1104

First two week synopsis:
I've done some sort of approach every day in the past two weeks but they've all been half hearted, and gone out to a cafe or music gathering almost every night. My AA is still with me and I'm letting that bullshit stop me from approaching.

When on bootcamp you have a $2000 and change sticker price hanging over your head that makes you approach even when your head is hurting specifically from talking to too many fucking people. Once out of bootcamp I've barely done a single REAL approach and that's going to change. I did around 80 approaches in two nights, there's no reason I can't do at least 50 every week. So I'm going to slowly work my way up to that. To kick this journal off I'm going to detail my one and only solid approach post bootcamp.

LR- 311 is absofuckinglutely awesome
I get into the concert about an hour late, I've missed the first band completely and the second is halfway through his set, I'm happy about this.
I get a text from Z: "Dude are you here yet? we're in section 201"
I walk below my seating section towards their's passing a couple groups of hotties. Fuck chode count: 2.
The red shirt says I can't get past and turns me back to my seating, I walk out of sight over to my left and jump the railing. Excusing myself as I brush through people seated in this aisle I make my way over to my friends. I meet up with my three friends and sit down, I'm there for the next 30 minutes, enjoying myself through the set but thinking to myself I gotta go approach and watching my chode count move up to around 7 as I let girls I would gladly shag walk by. 
The mainliners start and after a couple songs a girl and some chode thats with her sits down behind me and a few seats over. I'm enjoying myself and rocking out I look back a couple times to check her out(8ish). She walks over so she's right next to me, I turn around and intro myself. We flirt for around 30 seconds then I start the makeout. Flirt some more, she's kinda drunk, we start grinding, she asks if I live nearby her. I do, game over. I had to work pretty hard to get this girl to resist one of my advances, finally when I put my hand down her pants she pulled it out after a few seconds.(If you get a yes every time you're doing it wrong. Thanks Ryan) This was probably the best part of the night, save sex. I'm at an awesome concert, grinding and making out with this babe, and I'm 100% that this is going to end in a lay. She tries to pull me out of the theater twice, both times I say no we're staying. Did I have to game much? Not really, she needed a ride and was gunning for a guy to fuck her, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, and I didn't shoot myself in the foot.
The most interesting part of this, was juggling chilling and keeping things sexual throughout the next hour or so. I got a nice feel for when I was risking burning her out because I couldn't actually fuck her, and when we were getting bored. As long as I was keeping myself entertained everything worked out.
The show was about to end so we bolt out to find the car and avoid traffic, more flirting and cherishing on the way out.
While walking down a ramp
Me: "Damn you're gorgeous, Fuck me!"
Her: "No fuck me!"
Me: "Okay"
We exchange names once out of the gate, and when we get in the car I pull down gradually, talking about who we are and everything. I really didn't even have to seed it was pretty well decided we were going to fuck around 5 minutes after I met her. We get out of the car and I slam her against it, makeout, pulled her off of me by her hair. Lead her into the house and fade to black.

Things I learned from this:
There is no age barrier
The idea that I'm a sexy beast doesn't jive with my identity right now, that needs to change.
It is BEYOND obsurdity not to approach, seriously there's no concevable reason to out.
__________________
"One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the
critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the
best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he
knows that every day is Doomsday"
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
FR's detailing my progression
Login or register to post.
#2
LeftHand

LeftHand

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/12/2007 | Posts: 1104

Next entry

So I've been in a bit of a slump the past two weeks, and I think I've finally found the key to staying on my own path: Momentum. I've had this problem where periodically I fall into a mood where I don't want to do ANYTHING productive, you might call it depression and it could be but it seems I can combat it simply with rest, exercise, meditation, and consistant action. As soon as I start making baby steps towards being who I want to be on a consistant basis then my laziness sorts itself out.

This is huge for me.

I now know how to combat the one factor that's been holding me back most of my life. Anyway, now to the purely social parts.

My day game has been nonexistant, after this I'm taking a swim, haircut and hitting up a coffee shop for at least one approach. Hopefully I can ramp that one approach a day to 3-5 maybe more if it seems right.

I went to house parties last night and the night before. Awkward times at the first one, I was passable but I really hadn't been social for two weeks so it was almost like being thrown into the shark pool without learning to swim. Okay it wasn't that bad but here's a breakdown:

Mingle as I get into the party, I don't cold approach till around 2 hours in, and even then it's situational but chill. I was basically just trying to get back into being social with my friends who were around. I knew around 6 people at the party but was constantly fighting being inside my head. It's strange, deciding exactly what to think is difficult. I know I want to stay feeling good and to basically say whatever I'm thinking and feeling as a default, just be authentic and have fun and everything will take care of itself. But I'm also fighting all the residual feelings of "I'm a chode, I don't want to be social right now, I don't think I should approach, Wow that was stupid to say" etc. Basically just mental noise that I hope will fade the more I commit myself to staying possitive and going out. I was chatting up one girl that night and doing alright, I could see that all I had to do was attract her a little more, and relax and isolate her. The problem was that I was in a constant battle to keep my state from dropping and saying whatever was on my mind, I would just default back into my head when things got bumpy. So how do I fix this? I'm guessing you just have to take action so your state goes up and you don't have to think about pumping yourself mentally.

Last night was a lot better. In the begining I was telling stories, really loud, having fun. Throughout the night my mood dropped progressivley to a relaxed but slightly introveted place, I had smoked a good amount of herb so I was on a different level than most of the drunk people. I noticed how little logic came into play with every interaction, even with the people trying to help out this one guy who was shitcanned. It was all about who had the most cetainty and who reacted least to the other people. The guys whos' emotional state changed the least based on input from the situation had the greatest command over the group. It was a little frustrating because I could sense myself automatically reacting to other people despite the fact that I knew it was killing my chances of being heard. Ugh I'm thinking WAY too much in social timez.

Later in the night I met up with some friends to smoke, they had brought along a few girls. It was funny because I was half inside my head, half just enjoying the scene, and with a very relaxed and easy going attitude. I didn't say much but hung out, talked to the girls just enough get by. I stuck back and walked solo with one of the girls, really cute little blondie. I felt a bit like when you were a little kid just fucking around as I walked down the railroad tracks shooting the shit with this girl. I was reacting but I was also being authentic as hell, almost nothing came into my mind that I didn't say. I got tired early so I walked into my house to sleep but the girl hugged me like she was DTF. Another time, another place. I saw natural player social circle game for the first time today. If you're hanging out with cool natural guys, the girls are constantly getting horny and so all you have to do is close basically, chill and close.

Anyway 2 for 3 times this week, the goal is to get over 20 approaches tonight, with me luck!
__________________
"One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the
critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the
best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he
knows that every day is Doomsday"
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
FR's detailing my progression
Login or register to post.
#3
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2155

Nice. Look forward to reading your future reports.
Login or register to post.
#4
LeftHand

LeftHand

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/12/2007 | Posts: 1104

This is going to be short

I went to Blazed and Confused tonight, and it was fucking insane. Snoop dog live is a must see, Slightly Stoopid could have been better. Off topic though. I choded around a lot in the begining of the night, but I ended up making two approaches. Progress! Baby steps and I'm going to end up an approach machine. The first one I went in kindove weak and I didn't plow so she gave me the standoffish vibe and it petered off. The second started off strong as all hell.
"Hey you're really cute, I had to say hi, I'm Will"
"Hi, I'm blah" (hair immediatly pulling back of hair)
in my head: "yeah it's on" (ugh still reacting)
next thought "fuck what do I say" her immediate reaction: "it's nice to meet you" great I already know that line is almost death, focus back on stage
"I love slightly stoopid" rambling on about the show
At this point I could have kept it going but I stopped talking and got into the show and I realized I wasn't quite that into the girl. This wasn't ego protection, I know I fucked up, but I really didn't feel it.

So I made progress, I want to get to the point where I'm going out basically every night but I need a fake to make it worthwhile. In the immediate future I'll be using house parties, coffee shops, hookah bars, malls(maybe, I hate this), beach, and CONCERTS(best approach venues EVER). San Diego 18+ clubs can suck my hairy white dick, seriously they're abysmal. Of course the day game zones will be focused on doing my actual activities there, not getting my creep on.

Left hand man out

EDIT: Matt you have no idea how cool it is to know I have someone who'll read my rambling on here. Thanks man ditto.
__________________
"One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the
critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the
best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he
knows that every day is Doomsday"
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
FR's detailing my progression
Login or register to post.
#5
LeftHand

LeftHand

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/12/2007 | Posts: 1104

So it's been a month, I would have loved to start right after bootcamp but it is only now that I have the opportunity to go out every night.

I'm here in one of the craziest college town of all time, and it's time to fucking soar. I'm tired of giving a fuck, I'm tired of pretending to be a chode.

Last night we stated off pregaming in our room. I focused on just taking it easy and trying to unstifle. We get rolled and my state drops. Whatever, we decide to salvage the night by going to a party we heard about accross town.

We get in and I chode crystal for a few minutes, time to go.

I approach a three set, cute asian chick, hottie blond, and a horrizontally gifted girl.

Blonde is reluctant, asian chick is interested, and the other girl is middle fo the road. I'm just trying to keep the conversation alive, blonde is getting to me I should have just clawed the asian girl. Instead I eject and go out into the night. I need that belief, and I need to plow.

Next memorable set I approach a girl who's on the outside of this group, really cute black girl. Chodeversation insues I can't get past this and can't figure out how to start touching going so I just eject. Lame. She was into it a little, just waiting for me to spice things up. I think I just need to focus on pulling the girl in, claw etc.

A few more blowouts and the 7th set is my last of the night.

Girl in a red sweatshirt, I go up, my energy is just but I'm in entertaining mode. She's giving slight tocuhes on my arm and I'm thinking pulling her in but don't. It was intersting when I mentioned I was from San Diego she kinda freaking and was excited about it. I mean I can totally see on a logical level that having a comonality is cool but it also seemed like she was trying to pump her own state for me. This set was okay, I'm still holding back but at least I was haivng fun here.

I'm looking back on all this and realizing how lame this all was. If I want to grab a girl, DO IT, if I want to makeout with her, just fucking go for it. This wishy washy, "I'm a chode" mindset is ridiculous but I'm still having problems shaking it. You cannot acknowlege a reality without enforcing it. I'm going to work on being in state and realizing I'm a cool guy every hour of the next few days. Wish me luck tonight :D
__________________
"One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the
critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the
best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he
knows that every day is Doomsday"
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
FR's detailing my progression
Login or register to post.
#6
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2155

State is always a problem for me too. Lately I've been trying to do
socially inappropriet things around strangers whenever possible
(starting small though) just to get more used to it. Still amazes me
that I care so much though, knowing that if I just let go I can pull easily.

At least you're getting a decent number of sets in though. Sometimes I only do 1 or 2 sets when I'm out of state.
Login or register to post.
#7
LeftHand

LeftHand

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/12/2007 | Posts: 1104

FUCK I just wrote an epic about last night and it got deleted, time to start writing these out in word first.

Last night I was confused as all hell about what I was doing wrong. I think I’ve put a few of the pieces together but it’s still far from all there. I’m not surprised I’m doing poorly right now because I am out of practice and I’m not going to get emotional about it, just put in the practice and remember that every attempt is another step towards greatness.
Anyway I did around 15-17 sets last night, mostly blowouts or quick stallouts. One that didn’t immediately bomb was this beautiful perky brunette.
Me: Hey I’m __
HB: Hey HB, nice to meet you.
Me: I’m freaking out man, these parties are insane, nothing like (other college)
…forgot a little…
I take her drink and take a sip
She surprised and I qualify it by saying “I’ve only had a little to drink tonight” WEAK, I can’t believe I did that looking back on it.

I make a couple of jokes but I feel like I’m fighting an uphill battle with this one so it stalls out and I go on to find my share of blowouts.

I think the biggest problem last night was not gaming blind, I was pinging for people’s reactions and thus making everything I did extremely reactionary and chode. It’s strange how you can do exactly what you want but when you’re looking for the reactions you’re getting it all a sudden becomes insincere. Heh I need to scale back on the contractions.

Matt281 wrote:
State is always a problem for me too. Lately I've been trying to do
socially inappropriet things around strangers whenever possible
(starting small though) just to get more used to it. Still amazes me
that I care so much though, knowing that if I just let go I can pull easily.

At least you're getting a decent number of sets in though. Sometimes I only do 1 or 2 sets when I'm out of state.
Doing inappropriate stuff sounds like a cool idea, I saw Alex~ once say that state is action oriented. So I’ve been pumping myself up as much as I can and then letting the sets get me into state. Back in my bootcamp I made over 40 approached on the first night, most of that time I was in anti-state. It wasn’t until the end of the night that things started to flow and I think it was because I kept going despite the fact that I had a headache from talking to too many fucking people.

I love the fact that rejections don't matter at all now, and I can feel my hesitation stripping away, it'll probably be gone by next week. My goal is 4 nights a week, I’m so stoked I can finally do it. I just wish I was at a more solid jump off point. Whatever, I’m sure after going out for a week I’ll hit some kind of stride, if I don’t, it’s inevitable when I keep going out consistently. Here’s to the next epic journey to be chronicled on this forum.
__________________
"One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the
critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the
best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he
knows that every day is Doomsday"
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
FR's detailing my progression
Login or register to post.
#8
LeftHand

LeftHand

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/12/2007 | Posts: 1104

I started writing a FR last night but I was drunk and high so I was rambling. Last night I went solo to a bunch of parties, one girl started calling at me and I flirted my way into the group. I had never seen two girls play game so aggressively as these two did tonight, strangely enough no guys pulled them either. I ended up just befriending them since they knew where everything was going on. First party I ignored a couple opportunities, I’m still not approaching on autopilot but I’m getting better. 1 Blowout at the first party and chatting with a few groups. On the way to the next party I had this one girl eyeing me, I held eye contact but didn’t start a convo, should have just insta-clawed and worked it from there. Oh I forgot, on the way to the first party we joined up with this group of 12 girls, the girls hooked this up, I need to learn how to do this as a guy. Anyway I start talking to this one adorable girl and she’s loving me until the group splits and I go the wrong way into the first party.

I should have chased after her when I realized I was at a sausage fest.

The seconds party is full of cute Swedish girls my first approach is a dark girl who broke her shoe. Proximity, eye contact, touching were all there from the getgo, I get the makeout and become even more stifled, she shit tests, I fail and she “goes to the bathroom”. I was so outcome dependant last night, less seriousness, more fucking around and self amusement.

Second sweade was a short blondie. Comfort talk with good eye contact, not enough attraction and proximity so it stalls out after 10 minutes.

One group I approach with hugs, I like this a lot more than handshakes on the meet. The blonde was into me but I let the group take back the convo amongst themselves and got pushed out, more energy, go big or go home.

Last set of the night was a tall brunette girl, hit a bunch of commonalities, good conversation but I didn’t escalate. See a pattern? Maybe I should commit to a try for make out challenge or something similar. I’m having WAY too many stall outs due to lack of sexuality.
__________________
"One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the
critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the
best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he
knows that every day is Doomsday"
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
FR's detailing my progression
Login or register to post.
#9
LeftHand

LeftHand

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/12/2007 | Posts: 1104

Somewhere over fourty approaches last two nights ago; that was insane. At the beginning of the night I forgot about warm-up sets again so I was doing quick 30 second direct sets most of the time. Next time I’m going to start by warming up and approaching groups. I rip through thirty-ish sets and at 12 o clock the party gets broken up. We start walking back while trying to find another place to rage.

Next party I pretty quickly hit the indifference threshold. My game gets noticeably better as I really have no emotional attachment to ANYTHING that goes around me. I’m the calm center of the universe for two hours in this party. So I hit on girls, hang out with random guys, met one who’s actually pretty damn cool.

One girl is in a jungle costume and pretty cute. The vibe is good for the first few minutes then I go to kiss, she gives me the cheek and I back up before kissing her. The girl gets TOTALLY wierded out, leans back, stops talking. I kind of murmur I’m sorry and move on. I think my state dropped when I went for the kiss, it was a pretty weak attempt too. I guess that explains why she was so strange about it, later on when I passed her she was smiling at me and obviously attracted though, who knows.

Two cuties were rocking a group of guys that surrounded them for the better part of two hours. When I had first jumped into the party I approached the blonde straight away, she blew me out quickly. I approached her brunette friend later and it was going great for around 30 seconds, I forget what she said but I hesitated for half a second and she was gone.

Gorgeous eastern European looking brunette standing near the door of the balcony everyone was on, I’m lovestruck. I approach, my volume is too low but my proximity is alright. After the first few seconds SHE WILL NOT LOOK IN MY DIRECTION. (PS OH I should have moved her to look at me) She only gives me very little feedback, maybe I wasn’t expressive enough. I want this so I keep plowing until I feel that the friends are seeing me fail. I totally didn’t see them at first so I introduce myself and talk to the guy who’s actually pretty cool. We vibe for a bit and I try to get the girl back into the conversation but she’s not having it.

This was a great night for just gaining social momentum, last night I went to a party with a friend of mine and the whole night of fighting through awkwardness was a good experience as well. I feel like I’m becoming like I was after boot camp: totally unaffected by other people’s actions.
__________________
"One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the
critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the
best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he
knows that every day is Doomsday"
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
FR's detailing my progression
Login or register to post.
#10
LeftHand

LeftHand

Trusted Member

Join Date: 11/12/2007 | Posts: 1104

It’s a three day weekend so I went out last night as well. I think the cops were overly active so the night ended early but I got around 5 approaches in at this one rave party. The other four were semi-blowouts but one had a cool twist to it. There were these two latina chicks in a corner of the rave room, I’m going after the cuter one but the friend who is alright goes into full shock. I didn’t know what to think so I just kept talking. Her eyes were HUGE and she wasn’t even rolling, I guess this is the phenomenon people talk about when people just freeze up because they’re in a low state. The hotter friend thinks I’m going for her friend and rolls off to give us space; I talk for another 20 seconds then hug and eject. I wasn’t that attracted but I should have at least gone for the make out for experience sake. I started the night off really well getting into state and trying to push warm-ups, then I let the sausage-ish nature of the party get to me, to be fair it was a fucking hard environment to game in but I still want to be above that.
Lessons:
Push the interaction
Chodespeak can sneak up on you, stay positive.
__________________
"One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the
critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the
best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he
knows that every day is Doomsday"
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
FR's detailing my progression
Login or register to post.