October 27th, 2016
BACK TO BASICS: the habit of going out
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Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2946

This is ultra basic stuff, but for some this needs to be handled. 

Going out is the cornerstone of what we are doing. A painter paints, a musician plays music, an athlete runs. They got in the habit of doing it.

But many guys aren't doing anything, because they are piling one problem on another (I can't attract + I can't talk + I can't approach + I don't go out + ...). As a result they don't see the end of it and don't even go out. But if you don't go out, nothing happens. So, how do we get in the habit of going out when we don't have the energy, nor the desire to do so? This is how I managed to get into the habit of going out to rather good venues without paying money (coz I'm flat broke bro).

1-HAVE A MAP FOR YOUR CONQUEST : Pick 2, 3 or more days in the week to go out.

I go out on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. I can also go out on Wednesdays and Sundays, but those are bonus rounds. I don't go out on Mondays or Tuesdays in order to have some rest. Typically, you will go out AT LEAST on Fridays and Saturdays. On your schedules, you don't watch TV on Friday or Saturday nights, you don't stay at home and play WoW. Those days are dedicated to going out.

2-BE A CONQUEROR: At 9.30, on the selected days, you just put your shoes on and you go out.

This means that on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights, for example, when it is 9.30PM, you put your shoes on and step out of your house. Simple. You got out, even if you are not well dressed, even if you don't know anybody, even if you are tired, eve if you are ill, even you are not shaved, even if you'd prefer to watch that awesome TV show. 

3-CONQUER SPACE: Discover your suroundings and interact with people in order to know your environment

This gives you a purpose. If you are not in the habit of going out, you will feel out of place, or you won't be in good venues, you will be anxious and as a result your night won't be amazing. 
Now you go out, and you even have something authentic to talk about: where to go out the other days of the week.
1/ Get to know first hand your environmnent Say you don't know where the cool venues are, or you don't know shit about the city you live in. Now that you are out, just walk around and discover by yourself what is going on, or take your car and do the same. Hyper cool underground places in Paris, for example, can't be discovered another way if you are not socially super connected.
2/ Interact with people, have fun with them and get valuable informations. Wherever you are, just talk to EVERYBODY, regardless of their age, sex, beauty, or number of teeth. Eventually they'll help you to know where the really COOL venues are.

4-DOMINATE TIME: Now that you know where to go, you must discover when to go there

This is important because all the venues do not work the same. Some get filled earlier, some close later, some are free before 10PM, some are cool only after 11PM. You will learn this as you keep going out, and discover more and more venues to go to. This will be very useful later on, when you will feel the need to venue change the girls you are with.

This can take anytime between a month to 3 months. If you did everything right, you went out regulary, you weren't as anxious as before because you went out with a manly purpose (getting to know first hand your environment), and you could talk to people more authentically than before because you are genuineley interested in learning more about the city you live in. Now you know more about your city (think how Day2s, logistics can be dealt with more easily now), and you implemented the habit of going out.
Congratulations. Next year you are a pimp ; )

You don't have to run "game", you just have to put your shoes on and get out of your house at 9.30 PM. Think of it as a caveman discovering his environment. You go out on the selected days regardless of your desires to stay in, or of your excuses. Eventually you'll get to a point where you CAN'T stay home when you can go out, because of the INVESTMENT of time, energy and commitment you put in it, and of the REWARDS you get from it.

Questions ?
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Paris Boum Boum

Paris Boum Boum

Trusted Member

Join Date: 04/02/2009 | Posts: 2946


Doing this totally changed my social life. During my first years in Paris, I relied only on my social circles to have a social life. As a consequence, I was dependent on the others in that area, and I couldn't do what I wanted all the time.

Now, I KNOW that I can end up in any city in the world and finally build a social life from scratch. This is :

1/ good for your self esteem
2/ good for maintaining healthy social circles, because you are not needy, if your friends are busy you can still have a good time
3/ good for giving value to your social circles. You know where the little crazy restaurants are, you know what is cool, you know where to venue change, and in general you become more of a leader.
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/23/2008 | Posts: 1261

Nice article man.Going out is the first step.Without it there is no game
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Respected Member

Join Date: 10/06/2007 | Posts: 515

The thing is, I could do this easily in another city or paris even, but back home I just can't bring myself to go out alone, I don't know what it is! 
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Junior Member

Join Date: 05/04/2009 | Posts: 23

1) Can you bring yourself to put on your shoes an walk out the door? Yes? Good!thumbs up
2) Now, can you bring yourself to walk down the st? Yes? Good? thumbs up
3) Now, can you bring yourself to walk into a bar? (I imagen this is the part where it becomes dificult) Just take a hold of yourself and walk in! Even if you can only walk to one end of the bar and out again with the "Wheres tom?" face (I've done this a number of times and still do from time to time when my states not up) at least you've been in and nothing has happend!thumbs up
Repeat 3) at diferent bars until your comfortable enough to go in and sit down, order a drink. Once your in and sitting down you'll probably find you want to talk to some one bcase youd rather that than sit on your Jack Jones, least ways thats how I am.

This is how I've been geting to grips with it, though I'll admit I have to have a pint once I'm in the venue, still, I dont have to be half cut befor I go out anymore and the beer is more me giving in to the social pressure that I at least have to buy somthing to be welcme in the venue. Funniely enough I've been over coming that by going into bars where I cant afford to drink, thus I have no choice but to get a water.

See I struggled with the concept of "Going out" on my own so I never used to bother, but if you brake it down you reolise that you can do at least the first two components. Then you can work on the third, even if your just waking into a bar and out again, at leats your out andworking on it.


Lewis AKA Boris
"Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me."
-Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary".
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Respected Member

Join Date: 12/21/2008 | Posts: 830

 I don't think that FORCING yourself to go out is a good thing.
But you have and excellent guide here for those that WANT to go out.
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