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November 27th, 2014
How to make a girl a fuckbuddy and juggle multiple FBs
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ninjasdf

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/06/2006 | Posts: 113

A problem for a lot of guys is that they go "okay so I met this chick, we had sex, she's cool but I don't want to settle down yet, so how do I make her a fuckbuddy?" Thing is, you need to be setting the fuckbuddy frame before you have sex with her. Like, right off the bat, if you want to have fuckbuddies in your life, you should be approaching from that perspective and laying that groundwork early.

Remember: it's hard to turn a serious relationship into a casual one, because then there's drama and unwritten expectations you have to overcome and you have to start avoiding her more and coming up with excuses and justifications for your lifestyle...but it's very easy to turn a casual relationship into a serious one, you just see her more often and see other girls less often, bam, done.


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Benefits To Fuckbuddy Relationships
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"So why a fuckbuddy relationship?"

1) I’m selfish and like my free time.
I like not having to account for where I am or who I’m with or what I’m doing next week, and I like not having to figure out if I’m busy 6 months from now because she needs me to be her date to her friends’ wedding, and I like not having to make akward small-talk at her family’s thanksgiving dinner. I like that I can decide to just stay in and sleep if I want, or if I want to go out I can call up a handful of different chicks to do so with. I like that I have time for my hobbies and working on my own personal stuff because I’m not routinely meeting up with a girl every night after work for the whole evening because it’s just expected. I like that I can take a month and say "fuck the world" and focus on my own stuff without having to explain that nothing is "wrong".

This is just me though, other guys are more into the relationshippy stuff and that’s cool, for my particular tastes at this point in my life, fuckbuddy relationships are very convenient for me.

2) Variety!
Blondes, brunettes, cheerful bubbly ditzy girls, angry tattooed goth chicks, short hair, long hair, chicks who like giving Bjs but hate being dominated, chicks who love being dominated but hate fucking in public, chicks who hate Bjs and being dominated but love fucking in public…so many women, so many tastes. If I have a solid rotation of girls I like with a variety of tastes, I can go for what I’m in the mood for, or find a new girl and see what new experiences sex with her bring. And nobody gets hurt because they all know I’m off doing my thing elsewhere if I’m not with them.

3) Crazy sex.
You can let loose on the things you’ve wanted to try, the chick can let loose on the things she’s wanted to, because neither of you minds if things end. I knew this one chick that loved bondage, and we did a bunch of ridiculous shit…she got a serious BF and a year+ into it she was telling me how she finally brought up that she might want to be tied up a little, and was baby-stepping him into it. She couldn’t outright tell him any of that stuff because she didn’t want him to think she’s a freak. Even if they get married, he will forever think that he was the first one to tie her up, and even then he probably won’t do the same stuff we did and she won‘t end up as satisfied because she‘s scared if she TRULY opened up he might be freaked and leave.

It’s hard to bring up kinky shit to a serious relationship because you’re invested in that relationship working out, so you don’t want to risk weirding the other person out with your particular fetish. If you set it from the start, it’s cool, you guys both know what’s up, but most people stumble into a serious relationship and end up in this akward situation where neither side is really having the best sex they could be having.

4) Working on my game guilt-free.
I’ve done the serious relationship thing (almost 2 years) and I found that I’m not in a headspace yet where I can juggle going out and chatting up cute chicks and having a girlfriend. I feel guilty because I think she wouldn’t be happy if she saw it, etc. and I talk myself out of pushing interactions because I know I can just call up my girlfriend for a guaranteed lay. These things are all my own problem, not her’s, it’s natural for her to not approve of that stuff. But at this period of my life, I want to focus on achieving my potential with regards to game, and a girlfriend slows me down.

5) It’s a waste to lose a good fuck.
It’s dumb to hook up with a chick once, have a blast together, but lose her because you didn’t set the right frame and accidentally made her feel slutty or came off too needy and now you’ve just lost a chick you could’ve had a bunch of fun with…and that sucks for both you AND her.

6) It’s fun.
I mean, shit. haha

"Don’t you want some deep connection with a girl instead? Sex is better when you love the other person!"

I don’t know, sex is pretty damn fun either way. I was in a relationship and didn’t find the sex any better. And I found things fell into routine once we both learned what the other person liked. Having a variety of FBs means always running into new stuff, and that’s exciting to me!


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Handling Your Own Jealousy
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This is the biggest reason most guys can’t handle fuckbuddy situations. They get jealous when they see or hear about their FB fucking other guys. I’m not jealous at all, because I’m all for people hooking up with whoever they’re attracted to, as long as they’re safe about it. We’re human, we like to fuck, that’s just how it goes.

I used to regularly be in situations where a fuckbuddy and I would finish fucking and be laying there sweaty and cuddling, and she’d talk about some guy she wishes would notice her and I’d give her advice on how to land him…so I’m pretty far to the extreme non-jealous side of the scale haha

I have two major rules I follow, based entirely in logic to avoid any emotional bullshit on my end:

1) Whatever I expect her to allow me to do, logically I can’t get upset if she does the same. If I can fuck or talk about other girls, she can fuck or talk about other guys. If it bothers me when she does that, then I’m not being fair or logical and either I have to set stricter boundaries (and follow them myself), or I have to work on judging her behavior less.

2) If I choose not to provide her with something she wants, then logically I can’t get upset if she seeks out a guy who can. If I know she wants a guy she can change her Facebook status with and take home to meet the family, and I’m not willing to do that, then it’s not fair or logical for me to have an issue with her looking for that or leaving me for that if she finds another guy who can provide it. If it bothers me that she does that, then either I have to choose to provide those things, or I have to work on accepting that our relationship will be temporary and just enjoy the time that we DO have together.

These two things are carved very deep into my outlook, and as a result I give off an extremely non-judgemental vibe. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my own set of qualities I look for…like I know a chick that’s wicked-slutty and regularly has threesomes with dudes and likes to be watched by strangers. And while I don’t want to fuck her again (too dirty for me, haha, don’t want to risk STDs and shit), when she tells me these things I’ll never judge her as a bad person for them because these things are her personal sexual fantasies and fetishes, and she can’t help that certain things turn her on. Other girls have the same fantasies, she just happens to have been able to act on them.

I don’t take any ego hit if I’m not the first to do something with a girl, because I know that I’m going to do it the best haha If I found out her ex-BF tied her up, I’ll tie her up and blindfold her and tease the hell out of her and one-up him. If I found out she was turned on when she once got fingered on a dance floor, I’ll fuck her in a park at night and one-up that experience. So there’s no reason for me to get jealous about her past because I’ll do it better and we’ll have more fun.


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Talking About Other Girls
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I heard Bad Boy recommend trying out lying to FBs and being honest with them with regards to other women, to see which you prefer. Personally I go with the honest approach for three main reasons:

1) No guilty conscience on my end. I never have it lurking over me, I don't have to scramble to clean the evidence of another girl, I don't have to wonder if the blonde noticed the long brunette hairs on the bathroom floor, etc. She knows there are other girls in my life, whether I talk about them or not and this affects a lot of little things, like I don't have to make up an excuse for why I can't hang out that night. I don't have to worry that she found out about another girl and is testing me for a week to see if I'll fess up and then I don't and she cuts off my penis in a jealous rage!! ...heh.

2) I can't be arsed to keep track of all the lies. Which girl thinks I was where last Saturday, who that girl is that left something flirty on my Facebook wall, who's txting me at 3am, what answer to how many girls I've dated I have to this girl VS that girl, which girl thinks I just got out of a serious relationship and which thinks I've never been in one, which one thinks I'm an astronaut and which one thinks I'm a rocket scientist. Fuck, too much effort. There are guys who can handle that and have fun doing it but I figure I'll just mess it up anyway so I'll just be up front from the start.

3) I want to know what SHE'S up to. If she knows I'm fucking around, then she knows it's okay to let me know she's fucking around. Some girls get off on bragging about their conquests or hearing about mine and with those girls I'll even encourage her telling me ("saw you chatting up that steroid dude at the bar, you get some action finally? haha"), like as if I think it's wild and sexy of her that she seduced some dude the other night.

The main reason for this is to keep myself safe from STDs. In casual relationships where you're only seeing the girl once a week or even less (some girls i'd see only once a month or so just cause of our schedules, or 6 months if she gets a boyfriend for a while), she's probably going to hook up with other dudes at some point. I figure it's better to have her feel comfortable telling you about those other dudes than to go along like normal and oh shit, you've got chlamydia because her sketchy ex-BF that you know picks up hookers came around and banged her without a condom when she was drunk and horny and not thinking and she didn't even realize she had chlamydia.

Whereas if she knows it's cool to tell you stuff and you encourage it, maybe you'll hear "ya I was so horny while you were in Mexico and my ex came around...I hate that I always cave to him! :(" and then you piece the scenario together in your head and can decide "tainted vagina!" and casually be too busy to hang out and let her fall out of your rotation.

Throw in a little "man it must be hard to go back to condoms with an ex now that you're not dating, hey?" and you might get a "lol well we didn't use one cuz he didn't have one and I still trust him u know?" and then you run away. Girls really will admit this kind of thing if they trust that you won't judge them (and you're not judging them, you could still stay friends but in terms of looking out for your own health maybe you'll decide she doesn't fit your criteria).

"But if she thinks I don't mind her seeing other guys won't she go fuck a bunch of them?"

Chicks generally aren't out to rack up notches on their belts like guys are. They'd rather land an awesome guy who fucks their brains out and is great outside of bed, but they're surrounded by lame orbiters and guys with shitty game. Also half of those guys don't know what to do with a chick who jumps in their lap anyway. So you get a lot of situations where the chick is sexually frustrated because most of the guys she knows aren't sexworthy and the guy she digs doesn't escalate on her because he's being a gentleman, so what does she do when she's horny? That's where you come in!

I've actually helped FBs try to get guys. Like after we're laying there sweaty after a fuck and making small talk the chick might blab about how she needed that release cause she's been so frustrated because Steve was at the party tonight but that bitch Sarah was all over him and she knows she likes him and blah blah blah

I usually give them some community proven advice and come off as super wise and even higher value because I can explain her situation to her so clearly. This is just fun for me, I like to analyze (as you can see haha).

But if it's a chick I don't want to hook up with anyone else, the oldschool boyfriend destroyers make an appearance.

"well he was probably just nervous, you're the hottest girl he's even been with so he's scared to fuck it up but I'm sure he's a real nice guy who will respect your space and take you out on dates for months till he works up the courage to kiss you"

:D

I tweak that to talk about any guys in general, like If she's a party girl I'll say it about "most guys at the bar" etc so I always stand out and I'm basically tooling a ton of guys and now she'll be less likely to fuck them because she wants to fuck guys everyone will think is high value. For instance if I see some guy flirting with her and gets her number I can drop:

"man did you see that guy in the abercrombie shirt? I was talkin to some chicks and they said he was fuckin creepy...bar guys are weird hey"

"! Umm but I thought he was okay......."

"what? Oh man did he hit on you too? Haha sorry I'm sure he's a cool guy, those girls were dumb."


And then I never have to worry that she'll hook up with him.


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Setting The Groundwork
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So how do you set the groundwork early on? You can't just TELL her you only want sex, it'll make you look shallow and like you're a player and no girl would willingly get into that kind of relationship because she'll feel like a slut, right? Well actually, you CAN just flat out tell her…long as you do it in a fun way.

Humor, future projection, roleplaying and misinterpretation are about to be your best friends.

If you joke about something, she will start thinking about that thing and be more open to it when it presents itself. Like when you've just met, you joke about how you two are going to have hot passionate sex, and now in her mind she's got that possibility there and she slowly begins to accept your frame and understand that's what's going to happen and you get less last minute resistance.

Or to start down the three-some path you joke about your GF and you going out and seducing a girl together, and then as she gets comfortable with that joke, next time you're at a club you start pointing out girls together, and eventually she accepts the seducing a girl together concept and you eventually do exactly that.

So I tend to drop this at some point early on:

First the ever classic "You and I would never get along, we're way too similar." but then followed up with "We're going to have to keep our relationship completely shallow and based on nothing but using eachother for wild crazy sex and making up excuses to leave in the morning. :D" said with a bigass cheeky smile and said in a sarcastic joking voice. It must be super super clear that you are joking around, so that she can laugh and go "oh totally" which tells you she's open to the concept.

When you get her number, again said with a grin, yes it's all good old cocky/funny: "no calling me drunk at 3am confessing your love for me, I need my beauty sleep." This puts the idea in her head to call you when she's out drinking because you've already joked about it so she knows you wouldn't be like "wtf don't call people after 11pm it's rude!". It even gives her an excuse to call, you've put the idea in her head that it'd be funny to bug you by calling you and saying a drunken "I looooove youuuuu" which she'll backwards rationalize as she must dig you otherwise why would she be calling. I've waken up to txts and voicemails leaving messages like that with the chicks cackling away when I scold them, which of course encourages them to do it again. These are easy to escalate into telling her to come over or if you're out, finding out what bar she's at, so you can spank her for breaking your rules etc

Random stuff again said jokingly...you're setting the groundwork for these jokes to end up being true eventually. Future projection. Like starting a rumour that, repeated enough times and for long enough, eventually everyone believes really happened.

"I'm not just a piece of meat at your beck and call! ...unless, you know, we're drunk." - This lets her know that you guys can play hard to get, but if you’re out partying or have had a drink at all, you’ve provided her with an excuse she’s welcome to use to call you up for a booty call.

"no, I'm terrible with remembering names. But names are only important in the morning when you can't remember them anyway haha" - again said jokingly, but it shows that you don’t take sex very seriously (what you feel, she feels) and that it’s just setting a fun frame to randomly hooking up…you are not the guy to go to for romantic boyfriend sex. This also lets her know that you hook up with other girls and she can assume you probably will in the future.


"haha thanks, I AM funny. Girls are always laughing…soon as my pants come down, they just burst out laughing." - always gets a laugh, and now she’s thinking about girls taking my pants down, again no romantic stuff.

"I don’t know why we took each other’s numbers, with all this crazy sexual tension we have going on you’re just going to end up booty calling me at 2am when your standards are low and some dude at the bar barfed on your shoe. I’ll be out getting my beer goggles on and get your txt and we’ll end up drunk and groping each other on a public bench somewhere haha"
- again I’m joking about something but planting the suggestion so that eventually this will happen and she knows I’m open to it. It also gives her an excuse to txt me something like "Some dude barfed on my shoe!! Lol" that I can lead toward us hooking up, instead of her not txting me because she’s not smooth and all she can come up with is "I’m horny and slutty, let’s have sex!"

"ya my ex was super needy, she'd call me every day and not even for anything important. Just like "so how's your day? I had a salad for lunch..." haha girls are nuts." - This lets her know not to call you girlfriend-style every day, because you’re not her boyfriend. She might WANT to call you, but she’ll know that that might fuck things up so she’ll settle for just thinking about you 24/7 and being super happy when you DO give her a shout, which is a great position to be in.

"nighty night, try not to dream about me."
- I usually txt her this when I know she’s curled up in bed about to go to sleep. Again just keeping me in her head as the guy to have sexy dreams about.

"I thought I recognized you, you were hiding outside my bedroom window last night weren‘t you."
- Setting the frame of her chasing you, bedroom window makes it more sexual than just "window", and again it’s fun sexual fling antics where she can have a mental image of herself creeping around your bushes planning to jump your bones VS boring romantic stuff.

"haha well I wouldn’t say I’m a player…to me a player is a guy who just fucks and runs and will tell a girl he loves her just to get her into bed. I know guys that do that and I don’t respect that shit, it just ends up with the girl getting hurt. I’m just a guy chick’s like hanging out with and I’m not afraid to make a move on a girl if I dig her, you know?"
- This lets her know she can trust you to escalate on her, and also trust you not to lead her on and break her heart.

All our interactions are laced with innuendo and sex talk.
If she asks me how my day is going, my answer is "I don’t have you pinned up against the wall, so it could be going better. Let‘s fix that." She has orbiters she can go to for boring answers like "Pretty good, I applied for that job and I think I impressed them! :D" Basically she’ll learn that when she wants sexy messages, you are the guy she should get in touch with.


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Timeline From Meet To Fuckbuddy Situation
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There’s only three points that I lay off the sexy stuff and they‘re all near the start. Right after the initial attraction, between the time we agree to fuck at some point but haven’t fucked yet, and the time from when we‘ve fucked to when we part.

Here’s a timeline from the latest chick. This is how setting up a fuckbuddy frame pretty much always goes down for me. The timeline might be squished into a single night or over the course of a month, but the general order of things is always very close to this:

1) we meet at the bar and only have a few minutes, so I’m sexual and I grab her number, no real comfort but she’s attracted.

2)
we txt each other the next day, flirting and sexual

3) now no more sex talk for a bit.
She txts wanting to hang out, so I know she wants to fool around because she knows if she hangs with me I’ll be sexual. Ergo, I don’t have to be over the top sexual anymore because I don’t want her anti-slut defense to kick in and have her flake.

4)
we meet up and aside from the usual hug greeting and basic kino through whatever activity we’re doing to calibrate her comfort level, there’s not really any sexual stuff, it’s all comfort.

5)
then as the night goes on and we have a drink or two, things get flirtier and we get as flirty/sexual as we did with the txts. This is where I drop the stuff about "we’ll just have to have a shallow relationship based purely on crazy wild sex" etc., setting the fuckbuddy frame.

6)
I escalate and we fool around a bit, but she puts up LMR because she doesn’t want to seem like a slut. No biggie, I know it’s on, doesn’t have to be that night. We go our separate ways at the end of the night with no real plans set to meet up again.

7)
shoot her a "get home safe, try not to dream about me ;)" txt about 10 min after we part ways, so she doesn’t feel slutty for us groping and making out all evening.

8)
now this evening has reinforced that yes, it’s 100% on. Ergo, no more aggressive sex talk/txts till we actually fuck. Flirting's fine but no like "I'm gonna bend you over your desk" shit. In this case, she sends a txt saying we should celebrate her new job this weekend. That means fuck. But because I don’t want to make a big deal of us hooking up so her ASD/LMR won’t kick in, I keep things to joking around.

9)
now I stick to the normal not heavily sexual stuff till Friday or Saturday night when we txt each other, find out where the other person is, and meet up, and THEN it goes back to super sexual the instant we’re in isolation (if she shows up to where I am, I ditch who I’m with and escalate fast. If I show up where she is, I steal her from her friends as soon as I can and escalate fast the instant they’re not looking. Hell, at times I‘ve been standing with my on the small of her back with us facing her friend chatting and I‘ll grope her butt or slip my hand down the back of her pants with her friend not being able to see what‘s going on haha). She trusts that I’ll escalate to sex, that’s why she txted me to meet up with her. But she also trusts I won’t be a big obvious horn-dog and make her look like a slut in front of her friends because I had the restraint through the week to tone it back to just building rapport and joking around casually.

10)
Then we go off and have fun times together. I usually try to rock her world the first time, get her off like crazy, focus on her a bunch, touch a few spots she didn’t realize she had (g-spot, deep spot, etc.), do something unexpected like blindfolding her or pinning her etc., basically show her that she made a good choice in hooking up because she’s found a guy that will ensure we both have a blast. This also makes her want to come back in the future…most guys are shit in bed.

11)
We wake up, go at it again, grab breakfast, joke around a bit casually so she doesn’t get buyer’s remorse, then we split up with no set plans to hang out again…but I txt a few min later with a "drive safe, I know you’re woozy ;)" txt that lets her know I had fun and am still interested in keeping in touch, and references the fun night and sets the interaction sexual again because now that she’s seen I can also be a fun friend to grab breakfast with and not make her feel dirty for hooking up with me, I want things to go back to sexual.

12) From this point on it’s ALL sexual.
She can tell me about her new job but I’ll respond with something to do with sweeping the books off her new desk and ravaging her in her office. Like I say, she has orbiters for the boring "cool, congratulations, I knew you could get the job!" responses. I’m communicating that I’m only to be contacted when she wants the sexy flirty responses.

13)
Here’s where I start ignoring a few txts here and there (if she txts me something boyfriendy or friend zoney, I don‘t need to respond, unless I can make it sexual), and make sure not to see her more than once a week so she doesn’t start thinking we’re BF/GF.

14) Now the frame is set.
She knows she can count on me to come ravage her when she’s horny, she knows not to bug me with boring shit, and she knows when I’m out doing my thing there’s a chance I’m busy with other girls but I pay her just enough attention that she knows I’m still down for hooking up.

Keep in mind she’s not putting up a lot of resistance on any of these steps…Yes, this chick is into me, so this all goes smoothly. This guide isn’t about how to warm girls up who are cold to you, it’s about how to direct your interaction with a new chick that you know it’s on with, in a way that she’ll feel comfortable being a part of your rotation instead of freaking out with buyers’ remorse or expecting a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship out of you so that you can go on being your merry self, meeting new girls and juggling boobies.

Edited later in the week to add: The chick I was using as an example for these steps, I was up to Step 8 when I wrote this all. A few days later it was Friday and following Step 9 I txt’ed her Friday morning joking about her stalking me that night. She txt’ed something sarcastic, I txt’ed that I hate her forever. Midnight I got a txt from her asking where I was, I told her the place I was at was lame, where’s she at? I went over, we drank, danced, killed a few hours past last call to sober up (neither of us really drank much), I said I needed a ride home, we parked at my place, went up, and spent the next 12 hours going at it and napping. Probably had an hour of sleep in total, haha Fun times, she’s a cool chick, and joked about me probably having a bunch of girls over all the time, how the neighbours must hate me because of my noisy bed, etc. which lets me know she understands we’re not serious. Followed the rest of the steps and now we’re at 14 (I can tell it all worked out because we txt each other every few days or so, instead of either not txting at all or her txting me 10 times a day girlfriend style). So from now on, once in a while we’ll hook up and have some fun. This shit is based on field experience.



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How To Treat Different Types Of Girls
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There are a ton of types of girls but for the purposes of setting up Fuckbuddies, they can pretty much be grouped into these types of girls:

1) Party girl who doesn’t care about her
reputation:
This chick is pretty rare to find and plays a ton of games in terms of meeting up again, but once you do meet up, this is the easiest FB to set up and usually super hot. These are the player girls, and they’re cocky and will help the frame along because they don’t want to be tied down either. This chick will tell her friends about how awesome you are in bed. This type will also be super ADD, probably cause some drama for you at points, and will be super unpredictable schedule-wise for when she wants to hook up. You might not hear from her for a few months while she’s tied up with other guys and then out of nowhere you get a txt saying "what u up to?" when you’re out drinking because for whatever reason she’s decided she needs to fuck you tonight.

She’ll also fuck a bunch of other dudes
, try to keep tabs on her sexual history and use a condom for your own safety. She might even call you up to whisk her away from other dudes or to make her other dudes jealous without you realizing it till some angry orbiter is in your face. Just keep far enough away from her that you aren’t sucked into her drama games and you’ll be fine. This is the kind of chick that will talk about how bad she wants to get laid with her chick-friends while they’re getting ready to hit the bar that night. She’ll also probably get off on hearing about you fucking other girls, and you can have pretty uncensored un-politically correct conversations with her about relationships because they understand game.

2) Party girl who’s friends think she’s an innocent angel:
This is the most common girl you’ll run into in general. And this is the best balance between being easy to set up as an FB, not getting her feelings hurt, but also being pretty predictable and safe in that she won’t hook up with other guys very frequently. If she digs you, she’ll happily settle into a once a week frame where you both go out drinking with your own groups and you txt each other around 2am and meet up and go home together secretly or at least discretely (her friends know she likes you and figure it’s safe to let you get her home so they don’t cockblock, but they’ll probably try to become your friend at points, keep things casual with them because FB relationships have a time limit on them).

This chick is fun in bed, but needs you to be discrete because her reputation is important to her and her friends have no idea how much she wants to hook up. She doesn’t really talk about sex and in public is the kind of girl you could bring home to your mom. She also won’t be on the prowl for a bunch of other guys, she’ll probably have at most one other crush and he’ll be some guy that’s been chasing her for years and she has him more to keep her mind off you because he takes her out to dinners and buys her shit and she can’t figure out why she isn’t as attracted to him like she is to you.

Unfortunately, this girl will probably get attached eventually.
It might be a few weeks, it might be a few months, but eventually when you reinforce "I know you don’t like me dating other girls but you’re free to date other guys" "but I don’t WANT to date other guys…" and at first she’ll be cool with just having this secret boyfriend and think she can wear you down over time.

Personally, I recommend bailing on this chick when she starts pressing for a more serious relationship. One FB I was seeing for a while, one day bailed instead of hooking up like we always do, and said "Maybe next time we should go out for dinner or something instead…" and I gave her a sad hug goodbye ‘cause that was the last time I tried meeting up with her ‘cause she’s trying to set a boyfriend frame and I’m not down for that. Same time I stuck around with an FB like that ‘cause I was digging her and broke all my rules, and ended up breaking her heart pretty hardcore in the long run and felt like a big asshole. I hate seeing chicks cry, so I’d rather bail early when I see the signs coming and just have her confused for a few days and move on, than drag it out for months only to break her heart. I still follow the old school "Leave them better than you found them!" rule.

If she DOESN’T get attached, just always remember that she’s an angel to everyone else she knows. There was one chick that I’ve only interacted with super sexually…she was horny when we met, we fooled around, we
talk sex all the time, so naturally if I run into her at the bar the first thing I do is grope the fuck out of her and get her all turned on. Her friend was there once and I heard after that her mind was blown because she was like "wtf is going on!!" because to HER, this chick was the innocent pure angel of the group, and out of nowhere I come up and she lets me grope her all hardcore. It fried that her friend’s circuits and her friend actually convinced herself she saw it wrong because it was so outside of her reality that her innocent angel friend could act that way (similar to how people walked past Jeffy fucking that "break you off a piece boo" chick in the middle of a club, it’s just so outside of their reality). But the point is, when I hang with this chick, I have to remind myself that if she’s with anyone she knows, I have to be discrete…the second they’re not looking, she expects me to escalate it hardcore.

This one usually doesn’t want to hear about other girls
, or details about what you’re doing. I look at it like if they’re turned on by hearing that stuff, they’ll let me know over time through conversation (asking me for details and such)…but for the most part, in their minds they know I’m off "doing something" when I’m not with them, but they don’t want to really think about what that something is. Out of respect for these girls as friends, I will avoid conversations about other girls or about my plans for the weekend, or even flat out lie and say I was "out with friends" instead of "out hooking up with that chick that likes it doggy style" because she wants to have the illusion that I’m just a very unavailable semi-boyfriend that she can trust to have fun with. This is part of the reason these ones can end up getting attached over time.

3) Romantic girl who thinks casual sex is what only slutty girls do:
This chick SEEMS like the type you couldn’t get to go along with an FB frame, but you actually can. The red flag with this chick that should clue you in that she’s in this category is that she’s totally down with flirting and innuendo and talking about sex, she’s not shy ABOUT sex itself, BUT she’ll drop shit like "I don’t sleep with players." and "I don’t put out on the first date." and "I only sleep with guys I’m seriously involved with."
This type of chick just needs to know that you’re not a douche. I use something like the below (keep in mind the "you know?"s aren‘t an insecure thing, it‘s to get her nodding her head and agreeing with my outlook "yes ladder" style):

"haha no worries, you’re a cool chick and I think you’d made a good friend in general. Actually I think it’s impressive that you’re comfortable talking about sex but still have standards on who deserves to share your bed. Society is so judgemental about sex these days, it’s pretty ridiculous to me. Personally I figure I’d rather be honest and tell a girl that I’m not looking for anything serious and risk her not wanting to see me anymore, than lie to a girl and tell her I love her just to get her in the sack, you know? I know guys who do that and I can’t respect that ’cause it just ends up with the girl getting hurt down the road and sex should be fun! Long as both sides know going in that it’s not anything serious and they can just let loose and enjoy it. And if I get along so great with a girl that we want to sleep with each other, why WOULDN‘T I want to see her again, you know?"

Whole buncha’ shit going on in that one. Usually this speech comes up when you’re first hanging out after the initial meet-up, and the flirting is getting turned up again, and she has to start busting out "I’m not that kind of girl!" shit-tests. So what all is going on in it?

It shows you don’t care if she rejects your advances, you didn’t freak out like some needy stalker, and you aren’t trying to win her over like most Nice Guys would, trying to figure out the magical combination of roses and dinners to unlock her pants. You’re cool with just being friends…this gives her an out. If you don’t mention just being friends, then this might be the last interaction because she knows it’s sexual or nothing. You’re offering her a way to get out of rejecting you that basically shows "I understand you don’t realize you want a fling with me yet, but once you’ve decided that you DO want a fling, this is how you can keep our relationship going, under the innocent guise of a friendship, so that I can seduce you again later on and you can accept".

It shows her you think it’s cool she’s open about sex, that you think it’s lame that society is hung up about it, it says ya you might be good with chicks but you’re not a sleazy player type that lies to girls, you’re honest and actually don’t respect those guys who just collect notches on their belts (and she HATES those guys, she usually has these "I don’t sleep with players" lines because she’s been burned by one in the past), and then at the end it ends on an uplifting note reinforcing that sex with you is fun and no one will get emotionally crushed and you’ve just demonstrated that you’re a pretty upstanding guy who’s just not afraid to make a move when he likes a girl.

Now she can backtrack over time and eventually decide you’re safe and fun to hook up with and becomes a fuckbuddy who you KNOW won’t be hooking up with any other guys but you. This one will of course become too attached the fastest, and push for hanging out more than once a week, so be on the ball whenever you’re interacting with her. Sometimes this type can be more trouble than it’s worth, but these girls are usually really cool chicks. I imagine if I wanted mLTRs, these would be the types of girls I’d want them with, ‘cause these ones will do shit like make you dinner and buy you "I just saw this at the market and it made me think of you lol" gifts…She’ll give you an ultimatum at some point where you have to choose between getting serious and settling down with her, or not seeing her again, and she’ll desperately want you to choose the settling down option. Better to bail sooner than this so you don’t leave her with bad memories of you when you guys had such fun times hooking up for a while.

She calls me a player and such at the start, and knows I move fast, so she knows I’m a sketchy guy that way and have other girls on the go, but she never ever wants to hear it. It’s a big enough step for her to open up and trust me enough that she let’s me see this sexual side of her, she doesn’t want to imagine that I’m doing the same thing with other girls. Out of respect, I’ll help keep it off her mind by not talking about it, being vague about where I was last night, or flat out lying because I know she’d rather I did that.

4) Romantic girl who isn’t very sexual:
Fuck, why would you want this girl? This girl is like the other romantic girl, except that this one doesn’t get your innuendo, is embarrassed to talk/joke about sex, is usually pretty shy and thinks sex is dirty…This girl might be able to handle an FB frame eventually, but it would be a ton of work to get her to open up and then you’re probably looking at really boring sex and her broken heart anyway. Run! Find fun girls!


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Safe Terminology And Relationship Life Expectancy
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Terminology is important. You know you're fuckbuddies, she knows you're fuckbuddies, anyone looking in from the outside would know you're fuckbuddies, but you don't want to CALL it fuckbuddies because that sounds dirty and shallow and she wants to keep believing she's an angel.

One chick busted me on it when I told her to come over, saying it sounded like I just wanted her as a fuckbuddy. I told her that no, we're having a "late night rendezvous" which sounds way more intriguing and fun and adventurous.

Some chicks dig the dirty words but you can use those later, play it safe and keep the terminology fun:

- friends with benefits
- friends who fool around
- taking care of eachothers needs
- late night rendezvous

These are way less slutty sounding than fuckfriends or fuckbuddies.

A fuckbuddy relationship has a time limit on it. Accept this, and learn to be okay with it
. I look at it as every relationship is temporary...sometimes that means one night or a few hours, sometimes that means years, either way I focus on being grateful and appreciative of the time we DO have together, instead of dwelling on it ending someday.

You also want to share that above outlook with the girl at some point so that she starts to consider that and can look at your relationship in that light. Most girls are brought up to latch onto a decent guy, so this says while you're not THAT guy, you guys can have fun and should be thankful you met and got to spend whatever time you get together! Girls are usually impressed by this outlook because it's forged from a lifetime of meeting a lot of people and being independant and centered.

Expect the average FB to stick around for about 3 - 6 months actually hooking up with you.
Then she'll meet some other guy or get fed up that you're not offering the BF side of things, or she'll want to know "my friends are asking about you and I don't know what to tell them...what ARE we?" or "my cousin is getting married and I need a date for the wedding" etc and kind of try to slowly ease you into doing BF things.

If you make it past like a year of seeing eachother regularly and you're still casual, either you are amazingly fucking lucky or if you stop and really look at the situation you'll notice that she's asking for a lot more commitment than she did a year ago.

It's up to you how much of that you want to do. It's not a bad thing to be her date for events, but meeting her family might be more akward. Realistically, doing these things will NOT extend the casual FB relationship you had earlier. That casual FB relationship ended the day she started asking you to do this other stuff. If you meet her family and such, you will be escalating the relationship into boyfriend/girlfriend zone and if you want to settle with this chick, that's cool, go for it, do these things, see her more often, and you'll have a GF.

But if you want to stick to being a wanderer, when she asks for more personal obligations like this from you, it's time to stop seeing her. She will just get attached, and you'll go through months of akwardness and then break her heart or get trapped in a relationship you don't really want to be in because you're scared to break her heart.

Some girls don't want a BF and won't escalate things, or some girls just don't want to be seen with you in public haha I knew one party girl who wanted to hook up all the time but didn't want anyone to know we even knew eachother because socially she's in a really high value circle and I'm not and she figures it'd lower her value (like the rich chick hooking up with the guy from the ghetto). That's fine with me, sex was all I wanted from her in particular, there were other girls at the time that I could hang with if I wanted quality conversation and personalities.

With these girls you'll have a very unpredictable hook up schedule
, it'll depend on when shes horny, what other options she has that night, maybe she starts dating some guy and you suddenly don't hear from her for 6 months till they break up and she needs a good fuck and you get a txt out of nowhere. These ones I won't even really try to make plans with, I just let them txt me because I know they have their own shit going on and I have more reliable girls I can schedule plans with.
 
Also the longer it is since you've last heard from her, the more you want to invest in getting her laughing and spiking her buying temperature when she does get in touch again. Like she shoots you a txt after 4 months that just says "hey", you say "what's up sexy, saw you hiding outside my bedroom window last night" and start flirting, you don't ask where she's been or if she's still seeing that guy. She’s thinking "I'm horny, is this guy still around and is he still fun and down to fuck?". Get her laughing and set something up soon as you can. You've already hooked up before so you know it's on by the fact that she even still has your number let alone that she contacted you, she's trusting you to be a man and lead and make it happen.


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Be Available Or Come Up With Good Excuses
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This brings me to an important point which is...be available at all times for the irregular girls. The predictable ones that you both know you'll meet up after the bar Saturday night every week are no biggie, you can cancel, flake, or play hard to get with them and they'll chase.

But the random ones, if you haven't heard from her in a month and she txts you, go over and fuck her or get something set up for that night or weekend that will allow that. Because she's saying "I need you right now" and trusts that you will provide a cock.

This isn't supplication, this is an agreement you've made with her that says "If you're cool with not being my GF, I will fuck you when you need it". If you break that agreement because you think you need to play hard to get or some bullshit to not seem supplicative, she will move on and you won't hear from her again because you rejected her. Playing hard to get is cool in the initial stages and meet up, but once you guys have fucked and entered this fuckbuddy zone, don't play games.

We make up ridiculous excuses to have girls come up to our apartment ("you HAVE to hear this CD") so that they don't have to say "I'm slutty can we go fuck?"...a fuckbuddy txting you "hey where u at? im horny :(" on a Saturday night at 1am is a big deal for her, she's basically throwing herself out there risking sounding like a slut because she knows you have an agreement and she can trust you not to judge her for wanting some action.
I was hooking up with an unpredictable type FB at one point, and then didn't hear from her for about a month. During that time I met a chick I dug and decided to settle down for a bit. The FB txted me telling me she's coming over, and was pretty aggressive about it, I had to tell her no a few times and I was drunk and tired so I was a little rude about it haha

Haven't heard from her in over a year, and she blocked me on MSN, facebook etc and I ran into her at the bar once and was like "hey" and got a "hmph!" cold shoulder snub haha. Ya that makes her sound like a bitch, but it was entirely justified and I just laughed it off and went off to do my thing, because I broke our agreement and I shot her down when she threw herself at me for sex. To protect her reputation and ego she has to pretend like we've never hooked up because for all she knows I'm going to run around telling people the things we did together so it's safer for her to just cut me out of her life entirely, which is easy since we're just casual fuckbuddies and not best friends.

I want to stress that this isn't bitchy behavior to get all worked up over ("no woman treats me like that, I'm a man grr!!"), she's just reacting to the situation logically and you can't fault her for that. If I wanted to keep things going I shouldve either let her come over or told her "not tonight babe I'm so drunk my shit won't work" so that she doesn't feel rejected.

If a girl vanishes suddenly, odds are she’s in a relationship or she’s taken a vow of celibacy or for whatever reason decided she can do without your amazing sexual prowess for a period of time. Don’t ever flat out "NEXT!" her. Just let the interactions trail off, like a soft Next. Somewhere down the road, she will probably come back to you. Usually I’ll still have their number in my phone, but ask "whos this?" so they think I don’t and know they have to do a little work and that I wasn’t just sitting there broken hearted waiting for them to contact me again. But then as soon as they say who it is, I’ll pick up right where we left off, with flirty sexy things because I know they want sex.

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Mutual Trust And Respect
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A fuckbuddy relationship is about mutual trust and mutual respect. I think most people don't realize this and go into it either selfishly or giving too much and it ends up being one-sided. Understand that women love sex and she is getting just as much benefit out of no-strings-attached orgasms as you are.

She trusts me to:
- provide action if she needs some relief.
Unless it's hard to arrange or there's a decent reason, I, as a man, lead the interaction to us hooking up.

- be fucking awesome in bed.
Read up and learn about sex. Most guys are fucking awful at it, and don’t even spend time with foreplay. Learn to love turning a chick on. A chick who’s nervous about you seeing other girls will convince herself it’s fine when she realizes you can make her squirt and practically black out from orgasms and understanding how to turn her on and learn her fetishes.


- use discretion.
I don't tell my friends who she is and if I tell any sex stories to the boys, I never use her name. This is OUR secret and she's opening up her slutty side to me that most of society would judge her for having. Being free to be sexual without being judged is VERY important to a woman. Even her boyfriend will judge her if she let's him know she likes to be choked.
 
- be respectful.
Even if we have one of those "hey ugly want to hang out?" "I guess, there's no one better around" relationships where we talk shit but both know we're joking around, there's an underlying respect for eachother. She's throwing herself out there and I'm respectful that she feels comfortable enough with me to do that.

- help her live out her fantasies.
Because she doesn't love me she doesn't care if I get weirded out if she says she wants to be choked or fucked in an alley or whatever. If I'm into it, or not OPPOSED to it, I'll give it a go, cause it's probably the only chance she'll have to live that shit out. Pinning a chick down doesn't really do anything for me, but I know like 90% of chicks love it so I throw it in. Giving her the best sex she's had also helps lessen the chances of her hooking up with other dudes because they'll be nervous just taking off her bra on the 3rd date. Plus I learn new erogenous zones and fetishes for the next chick which ultimately contributes to me being able to rock a chick's world in bed.

- not pry into her love-life, unless she volunteers info.
I don't need to know why she wants to fuck that night, I don't need to know what the situation with her BF I thought she had is, I don't need to know why she just couldn't stand to be alone that particular night. Sometimes people just need a warm body beside them.

I trust her to:
- let me know if she can't make it.
I'm not an orbiter and I'm not some guy she's dating and trying to woo by playing hard to get. If she calls me over, she'd better be awake and if we have plans to hang out and she can't make it she'd better let me know instead of just flaking and being a no-show after I’ve dragged my ass all the way to wherever we were meeting.
If she does this she gets one harsh warning like this, and then she's out. This isn't needy because it's not the start of a relationship...this is for when we already have the FB frame established. She may flake 10 times on the initial Day2, that's fine, chicks do that shit all the time it's part of the game. But once we're in this situation, I expect her to respect my time.

- not bring me drama.
I choose this lifestyle because it's drama-free. I don't have to nod my head while she rants about how Suzie at work is a bitch because she said to Bobby blah blah blah. I don't have to pick a restaurant that she likes, I don't have to ask how her day was, I don't have to talk to her brother who owes her money and won't pay and won't I help her blah blah blah. Unless I WANT to know how her life is going, she's cool with keeping our conversation flirty and fun...and sometimes I do want to know, if she's a cool chick...that's the friends part of friends with benefits.

- not pry into my love-life
. Who I was with last night is my business. Some girls get off on hearing stories about previous sexual escapades, but they don't need to know who the girls are. They don't need to know if I'm still seeing the girl from last week. All they need to know is that I'm safe and use a condom when I have sex and that I get tested every 3 months for STDs to make sure I'm still clean.


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Uncovering Her Sexual History And Unsafe Practices
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Speaking of testing, here's a bunch of fun conversation threads I use to find out the STD risk of a chick‘s sexual history...generally I'll lead the conversation toward relationships and dating and then transition with:

"ya, society is too judgemental about sex, like it's dirty and wrong. That's ridiculous to me, when you have that chemistry with someone, man, sex is fun and exciting! As long as you're safe about it and get tested regularly, it's all good, you know?"

"it's scary how many people haven't been tested before, I think it's just a responsible thing to do, you know?"

"honestly I hate using condoms, my ex and I didn't use them because we trusted eachother but it's so hard to go back to them. Safety first though, you know?"

"ya my ex hated being on the pill...we wanted to be safe but it totally killed her sex drive! It's weird how that works hey? Haha she said she wouldn't even be on it if we weren't dating seriously."

Usually I'll start with the first one and drop the other three as the conversation progresses. These are very chill ways to get a girl talking about her sexual practices so you can get a better idea of what her history is like. This conversation thread comes off very naturally from a conversation about relationships which is easy to get into.

Some responses I've heard and what they represent to me:

"lol ya I hate condoms they don't feel as good"
- she's gone bareback and doesn't care about hiding it so she's probably done it a lot. Maybe with a steady BF maybe with a football team. Run or use a ton of caution!

"lol ya condoms suck but its better than catching something gross"
- probably a safe sexual history.

"lol I'm actually allergic to latex...I have to buy these special lambskin condoms for like $5 a condom, it sucks :("
- fucking run! The two chicks I've met who've had these lambskin condoms for their latex allergy, BOTH times the condoms broke and we were making a 3am run to the drugstore for the PlanB pill and I spend the month wondering if I'm gonna be a dad.

"lol I've never been tested it's too scary to go to the clinic what if I ran into someone I know?"
- caution again, she's probably safe depending on how the condom response is, but she might have something she chalks up to "just an itch"

"lol ya I just went in January after I broke up with my ex. We used condoms all the time but I wanted to make sure."
- nice and safe responsible girl. This is super rare, most chicks don't get checked out.

"lol actually I'm allergic to the pill, it makes me crazy and stuff so I can't take it."
- baby machine! Wrap it up and remember that pre-cum can get a chick pregnant so don't take chances since I KNOW her vagina's dyin to grow some little clones of me!

"lol actually I can't get pregnant, my cervix is shaped some crazy way and the doctors say blah blah"
- personally I treat this the same as a chick who's not on the pill...her and I aren't doctors and maybe the doctor meant a rare chance and she understood it as no chance and then BAM! Baby city!

In all cases, don't be a fool, wrap your tool. Waiting for clinic results or that "I got my period!!" phone call is a long fucking month haha. And understand that even if they seem totally sensible in other situations, most chicks don't go to the clinic regularly, don't use the pill unless they're seriously dating someone, and despite how TV shows you it's always the girl asking the guy if he has a condom, a scary amount of the time the chick wants to just stick it in.

I also wash out the condom in the sink and toss it (heard a story about a chick digging the full condom out of the garbage after the guy left and shoving it inside her trying to get pregnant to get him to commit, probably an urban myth but why take the chance when you‘ve been hooking up with that aging milf who secretly wants a second kid and has fallen in love with you because you‘re all alpha and shit and is biologically drawn to want to reproduce with you?).

I think Ron Jeremy or some other famous porn star recommends taking a hot shower after sex so bacteria isn't festering all night/day.

If she says she's on the pill, STILL use caution, because a lot of chicks are sloppy about taking the pill regularly and the scariest words I've heard were "well umm actually I missed a few days this month..." after a condom broke.


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Leave Them Better Than You Found Them
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So there you go. It’s really not that complicated, if you read this all once you’ll never have to read it again or really memorize anything. It’s just that most guys don’t realize they have to focus on certain things to get the girl to willingly come back for more sex and feel good about it. A lot of stuff in the community is about the pick up, the lay, ASD the next morning, and actual relationships, but there’s that weird little hybrid section that fuckbuddies fall in where you still have to manage ASD, but keep enough distance that you don’t end up in a relationship, and hopefully this covers that section.

Any questions or comments, shoot.

- ninjasdf
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#1
Lowdash

Lowdash

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/24/2007 | Posts: 542

Bump - to read this weekend

Cheers
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#2
roxsta89~

roxsta89~

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/18/2008 | Posts: 257

great post definitely expanded my reality about what I thought I knew about game!
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#3
BlackJack77

BlackJack77

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Join Date: 11/21/2007 | Posts: 797

Great post.

I always appreciate it when someone takes the time to write a really major post like that.  Having written several long posts myself I appreciate the time commitment.  I also appreciate the thoroughness.
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#4
diggyisking

diggyisking

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/15/2008 | Posts: 716

Wow insane cool thread.
I read the first two sections, will read the rest over the weekend.

Its cool that there are guys out there like you who genuinely want to help people and help them overcome their problems by putting a lot of time and effort into writing great posts like this.

Congrats man *thumbs up*
Have a great weekend!

Oh, as a side note, the majority of girls will fuck at the drop of a hat.
So many girls will fuck on day one or day two if a guy has good game, most girls will straight up swallow the guys cum.

So it is probably best to be safe with every girl you meet, no matter how hot or how sweet until you both get tested.
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#5

ninjasdf

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/06/2006 | Posts: 113

Thanks for the props, all. I know it's a long read but I wanted to cover basically everything in one blow. I wouldn't even be in this situation if it weren't for the community so I try to give back when I can!

boobier wrote:
Over and over, I clearly state my intentions. However, it only makes me appear more of a challenge -- I've tried it twice now, and both girls tried to veer things toward a normal relationship.


I've found if they think there's even a remote possibility that someday they may win you over, they'll push the relationship angle and wait for that day...hell, my ex-GF told me that she had planned to wait another few YEARS for me to grow up and want to settle.

So the best way to avoid this? Snuff out the major future requirements they have. Let it drop in your conversations after you're hooking up regularly, that you hate kids, think marriage is a ridiculous notion in this day and age with all the divorce rates and basically let them think you're "broken" and that you never want to have kids or be committed.

Believe it or not, I actually want the whole 2 kids, white picket fence deal someday. But only myself and my close friends know that. As far as any of my FBs have known, I have no interest in that stuff.

When you say "I don't really want to settle down right now..." they hear that as "...but someday, so keep working on me". When you say flat out "I don't really see any reason to settle down, I don't even want kids, really, let alone a family. I don't like having to look after other people and my buddy got divorced and she took all his stuff haha", you'll get a stunned "wow is he serious? He is! That's kind of messed up..." expression on their face, but just throw in a "but really we're too young to think about that stuff anyway haha unless you're expecting me to pop out a ring right now! Hey so did you see--" and laugh the conversation off.

They still dig you because you're hooking up when you have this convo, and you change subjects fast and get back to laughing, but now she knows in the back of her head "do not expect these commitment things from this guy, he's emotionally broken that way"

There might be a better way, but this is what I usually do and I see it as a necessary lie because chicks are naturally programmed to push for commitment when they meet a guy that rocks their world. And if I met a chick I wanted to settle down with i'd just let her slowly win me over.

- ninjasdf
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#6
CHERISH

CHERISH

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Join Date: 12/09/2007 | Posts: 874

Sounds like a great post..

Another question based on my last night (I'll post about it)

About jealousy...
WHAT IF (IF) you found a girl you thinks attractive... Not fucked her or ever had sex but had kissed her loads before and the same night you and her were kissing -- HIM AND HER end up fucking in THE SAME ROOM WITH THE LIGHT OFF CAUSE THEY THINK YOUR SLEEPING?.. How woud you react emotionally? 

I know this is an unusual post and u might not be able to answer but I just need to get my head straight.  This FB thing I imagined to be cool but what can I do about this jealousy?

I don't get how you'd be able to lie there completely cool while you can hear the girl you liked getting fucked.  I'm selfish also, isn't it natural to feel jealous? 
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#7

TigerOfSweden

Member

Join Date: 02/10/2008 | Posts: 64

top quality post.

Answers A LOT of questions i've encountered recently .

Someone should wiki this !
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#8
AlphaCentauri

AlphaCentauri

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Join Date: 05/23/2009 | Posts: 91

5 stars.

solid post. I think this will help a lot of those guys with the disney love syndrome realize that, put simply, society makes sex into a big deal when it really isnt.
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#9

Deluxe

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Join Date: 03/05/2008 | Posts: 36

Mad Value in this thread!!!
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#10
Different Cloud

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Join Date: 04/28/2009 | Posts: 259

Superb post!!!.. Awesome stuff!

Now I have a related situation at the moment where I'd like to ask a little advice.

This girl I meet through my social circle, exchanged numbers, got sexual, till the next meeting where we hit it off, I've meet her several times now, I've laid her twice but every time we have meet we've done something sexual.  Now, I'm confused because I'm not sure what she wants, she clearly likes me, and I get the girlfriend style texts everyday.  She's open about sex, she just says in texts that she wants to fuck me, shag me, however she oftenly jokes about me going out shagging etc and has asked a few times when I last had sex, which to me means she's thinking about me being with other girls.  I have a feeling she's pushing it forward and wants more than just casual sex.  I know this is all on my part because  I haven't been clear from the start, or set out the groundwork.  I'd say she's the party girl who’s friends think she’s an innocent angel.  After getting to know her more, I know now she's had her fair share of fucks, here, there and everywhere.  Also the last time we laid, I planned to use a condom, but it didn't happen and I went bareback, I knew she was on the pill and before entering I confirmed that, afterwards it got me thinking because that she didn't really seem to mind, she either trusts me or she is used to that.

Know, the dilemma, I want to sort this out when she's over this week but because we have already done it, how do I be clear what I want and find out what she wants, without basically saying I want to use her pussy for pleasure? and also about the condom thing, would a simple 'Do you normally use condoms or what?' be enough?

Thanks!!
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