THE FORUMS

December 11th, 2016
How to Choose an Inner Game Program
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Slojodan

Slojodan

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Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 1003

When people ask me how long I’ve been in “the game,” I don’t know what to answer. Are they asking when I first realized I was heterosexual? Maybe when I first entered “How to get girls” into Google? I entered that search in WebCrawler back in 1995 as a 14 year old. Google didn’t even exist back then.   Maybe when I posted on a dating forum? I was on the So-Suave forum back in 1999. People had great advice on that place, such as telling a girl she’s one of your best friends so she says “Awww… that’s sweet.” You know what’s scary? I was giving advice on there too, before having kissed a girl.

Maybe they’re asking when I took my first seminar? RJ Speed Seduction back in 2002, also titled “How to creep out girls in ways they never knew existed.”

First in-field program? Ok, now we’re getting somewhere. I took RSD in 2004, back when your entire interaction was structured from the get go with routines such as “Who lies more” and “Did you see the fight outside?” It was the best thing out at the time, bar none.

However, sooner or later, it became clear that the caveat with any outer game system is the potential for illusory results. You take a guy with zero calibration, and put him in a set with a bunch of funny things to say, and of course the girls giggle and kino a bit. He thinks he’s got attraction.

The systems improved through the years, and while logistics still play a part in any pickup, one thing became clear: that almost all outer game is meant to convince the girl that you have inner game.

Any routine, gimmick, or even putting your arm around a girl, done as a technique, are false signs that you are the man behind it. In other words, anything you’re doing now that works would be a natural manifestation of you having the right inner game, without exception.

The first question: What does real inner game look like?

Here’s the best way to tell: It’s a ratio of actual results + not knowing (or even remembering) how your actions influenced the pickup. When you talk to a natural about how he got the girl, it will usually be something like “We had some beers, it was on. We went back to my place, watched a movie, done deal.” There’s no talk of sexual framing, making himself sound popular,  tricks to get her away from her friends, etc.

I believe that even when a community guy truly masters inner game, he stops attributing anything the girl feels to something he did in set.

So if you want to know of someone has real inner game, see how much he gets laid, and see how little he understands (or even cares) how it happened.  For a bonus, see if he even remembers getting a new lay that week.

When you want to find a program for inner game, I’ve found they fall into three categories:

1. Temporary but safe confidence builders
2. Unsafe brain scramblers
3. Safe and Permanent Identity/Reality Change


In the first category, I’d put basic affirmations, and visualizations. This is stuff you can get from just about any self help program, and it does work, for a little while. It’ll make you feel good, put a veneer over all your doubts and issues, and you’ll come off cooler. It wears off pretty quick though, and never really gets below the surface. It grows your ego for a bit until it can get bitchslapped right back to where it was.

In the second category, I’d put anything hypnosis or NLP related. In this kind of change work, you’re giving someone else a license to play around with your head and tell you what to think and how to feel. The problem is that even if this practitioner is well meaning, he doesn’t know you. You don’t even know you. If you let someone bypass your critical eye and program your head, you’re asking for a lot of problems. I know plenty of people who swear by hypnosis and NLP, and are extremely unhappy, depressed, and often manipulative. Additionally I know several people, who after listening to hypno/nlp tapes, were very disoriented and had head trouble for weeks.

Above all, avoid any one whose name ends in “-effries” or “-notica.”

The final category is the only real inner game development out there. It’s when you change your views of your identity and reality, but in a completely safe way.

Now how can something be safe and so powerful, if I said that NLP and hypnosis are unhealthy?

The difference is that in any healthy inner game system, YOU are the one who decides what to take out.  You go into your deepest center, see who you are, and let go of everything you are not.  You open the vault and see the manuscripts of what you have unconsciously believed for so long.  There are bizarre beliefs in there like "I'll die if I get promoted at my job"  or "Having sex with a hot woman would make me disappear."  You would never know they're there because they don't make enough sense to be conscious thoughts.  You'd never consciously put them there.  However, with the right inner game work, you can discover what your thought programs are, and take them out.

Here is a checklist of knowing an inner game program is good:

1. Reaction management over expectation management.


Most programs out there have you do exercises to anticipate positive responses from women. This is all good until it inevitably goes wrong. Your mind can only handle so much contradiction before it stops listening to your positive self-talk

True inner game work changes how you react to what people think and say about you. Expecting the best is nothing compared to being invincible to the worst. A good program will teach you not to care if you’re rejected, not how to make rejection happen less frequently. “You’re hot” should have the exact same effect on you as “You’re ugly, please go away.”

2. Win-Win over Win-Lose

Any program that tells you how to annihilate the competition or out-alpha other people is working from a fear-based mentality. There are enough women for every man who will accept one into his life. You want to have an abundance based mentality. Think of the guys you know who want to dominate other people and push someone to have less of the pie. They’re usually the most insecure people you know.

3. Doesn’t make you better than anyone

If you want true confidence, you can never accept a sliding scale of cool, or high/low value. This is because when you have a scale of who’s worthy and who isn’t, you force yourself to fall somewhere between the two and constantly defend your reasoning for belonging at that level. If you have a bad night, you’ll feel that you’re not the man you thought you were.

The solution to this is to annihilate the scale itself. Annihilate your definition of cool. Everyone is cool, including you. Everyone is awesome and worthy, including you. When you have an unconditional acceptance and good feeling for yourself, nothing can take that away. After all, everyone else has your acceptance, so why not you in that case?

4. Has you feel confident and happy for no reason whatsoever.


This is where Tony Robbins fell short back in the early 90’s. He was saying if you want a belief, you should find reasons to support the belief, like legs to stand up a table. So if you want to believe you’re sexy, you’d find reasons like “A girl said I’m cute today,” and “I have good posture,” and “My abs show.”

Aside from the obvious “What if I’m a fat, balding piece of shit?” objection, even if you do have enough “legs” to hold the table up, when the world throws you a curve ball, and things don’t go well, those legs start to weaken, and the table is weighted with counter-evidence that you’re not sexy.

The solution? I’m sexy because I am. I’m cool because I am. It’s completely self evident and requires no logic to back it up.

5. Encourages meditation, thought clearing, and removal of labels and dogma.


That part I said about being sexy and cool is actually flawed. Ideally, those words don’t even matter to you. The definitions of cool and sexy are annihilated and you’re not even sure what they mean any more.

If that last sentence doesn’t make sense, it means you have an intricate belief system which has effectively become an obstacle course for you to ever trust in yourself. Labels get in your way, and so does dogma. Any guru who tells you to believe what he says because he said it is full of shit. There is no blind faith in inner game, none.

The only guru you can trust is one that says “Don’t believe what I say until you experience it yourself; take it for checking.” The right guru will also guide you to plenty of other resources, even his own competitors. Hint: If he’s that worried about competition, he lacks an abundance mentality.

So let’s see who makes the cut:...


RSD Blueprint. Best pick-up themed inner game product I’ve ever seen. Applies to many areas of life as well. I’ve sent my notes from the seminar to several women I know and they absolutely love it and try to live by it. There is a step by step plan given to put it into use, but if you’re not using anything to supplement it, it’s likely you won’t achieve mastery. This is because Tyler’s instructions require a staggering amount of will power to defeat ego programming.  You need to add other non-pick up perspectives to it in order to go the full way. 

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). This is really powerful stuff. It can work on a temporary level for a quick emotional cleanup, or a permanent level, depending on how far deep you want to go to face your demons. If you want to experience progress, you will have some pain when working out the deep issues. However, that will only be when you’re ready for it. Brad Yates is my favorite instructor on this, but emofree.com has tons of free content on it.

The best I would say is this: Sedona Method and Release Technique.

Sedona Method is run by Hale Dwoskin, and Release Technique by Larry Crane. Both were pupils of Lester Levenson, a spiritual master a while back. What puts their programs way above the rest is that there’s practical ways to let go of your issues holding you back, as well as any beliefs you didn’t even know you have.

Similar to EFT, you go to a club, and feel antsy, heart pounding. With SM or RT, you’d let go of needing the women’s approval, or approval in general. You let go of the want of safety when you enter a mixed set of big guys. You let go of your need for control when logistics get ugly. Of course you were releasing on your own anyway, but the field is the true test of where your inner game stands.

It does take time to master, but I’ve found the quickest developments in myself from using SM/RT, as well as reading Lester Levenson’s writings. While being somewhat spiritually based, you can still use SM/RT as an atheist, but Lester Levenson is a very woo-woo spiritual guy, so atheists should avoid him.

Inner Game in a nutshell? You love everyone and need no one. You live in abundance, yet wouldn’t feel threatened if it disappeared for a while. You don’t “believe” that there’s another girl waiting for you around the corner, you know it. As Tyler would say, it’s not a belief, it’s an understanding.

--Dan
__________________
To all, thanks for reading.

If you'd like to know how I got to this mindframe, read my post:  How to Choose an Inner Game Program
If you're curious on how to meditate:  Meditation Made Easy
Recommends Release Technique, Sedona Method, and EFT
Please read the Meditation thread before PMing me with a question.  Thank you.
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#1
Pimpski

Pimpski

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Join Date: 10/27/2006 | Posts: 1527

Awesome shit man.  You're posts are becoming epic.
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#2
Mathias!

Mathias!

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Join Date: 06/10/2007 | Posts: 760

Slojodan, very good post. Btw, Nathan's "Be your own guru" comes to mind.

Here's a question for you.

When I'm in the field I rarely think much. Sometimes I think "how can I move this forward". Often I see the "hints" of things going on, but I don't follow them in field - at least not conciously. I've learned by experience that nothing good will come from it, so I just drop the hints and focus on my own good emotions. Like you said, this is the only thing I can control anyway (internalized since some time back). I have "let go", in many ways.

However, when I'm home and writing my journal, I can remember what happened and follow those hints, and pretty quickly see why I failed or did well. THis comes easy for me at this point. Wading through my night and drawing conclusions from it. I find it helps me learn and do frame my night in a positive light regardless of what happened. But I also understand the importance to disidentify from it. And to let it go once I see what the lessons where.

Visibility - Inspection - Adaption

Are you saying you believe there are significant drawbacks to at all having that analytical side and "seeing" things from that perspective? If so, why
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I am the truth, my true essence, my true masculine self ; I am the love, the happiness, the warm hunger and lustful passion of a rich and giving life ; I am the liberator of will, the light bringer, the adventurer and fulfiller of dreams ; I am the brave challenger who faces fear to stand and fight, to reap the glory of victory and the heroism and growth of valiant defeat, never at a loss ; I celebrate in the joy, the sweetness and the divine presence of every living moment in my life. - The Champion That I Am *** 
Get in the FIELD guys

Nathan BC Alum
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#3
Psyfa

Psyfa

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Join Date: 03/02/2007 | Posts: 824

great read. But I'm curious what you have to say on the topic of tolle, seems like I can't keep up with constantly going back to reading tolle again and again.
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Good bye everyone.

psyfa@hotmail.co.uk
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#4
Slojodan

Slojodan

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Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 1003

Mathias,

Thank you so much for reading my post in detail.  I will do the same with yours.

In short, yes your beautiful analytical mind fucks you over in ways you never thought possible.

Intelligence past a certain point feels like a gift, but it can be a curse when it comes to women, wealth, happiness, etc.  The only thing it's really good for is building your ego and pride for how much smarter you are than others.

Compare it to a bench press.  If you can bench 225 pounds I say you're in pretty damn good shape.  That's all you really need to be able to bench, if that.  What if you're a dude that can bench 400, or 800 pounds?  Is that going to help you in anything but pissing contests with other weightlifters?  More likely you'll walk around with muscles that are too large to fit most clothes, be unable to touch your toes, and not even be able to swim with full body strokes.

It's the same with analytical intelligence.  Your'e smart, but so what?

As I currently understand it, RSD has you meet your inner game half way with your outergame.  This is a valid approach, though I'm not sure it's optimal.  In the end, the only reason you didn't get a girl this weekend is because you cared too much what women thought of you, one way or the other.  Either you wanted them too much, wanted to avoid them too much, or a combination of the two, as most of us have. 

I'm not saying you lost set number 2 in Club Pure because you cared too much.  The actual set you're in doesn't matter.  A set is a microscopic moment in time in a woman's existence on this earth, as well as your own.  You cannot judge anything by it.  Absolutely nothing.  Every girl you meet is replacable 10,000 times over, so it doesn't matter if you get any specific one, as long you do get one that you truly enjoy slamming against the bedpost. 

However, if you were released and open to the experience of a new lover that night, you would find her, no question.  Do you want to make your night a positive experience no matter what happens?  Here's how: have absolutely no reason for your positivity.  Do not look for the silver lining.  There may be one that comes to mind, or there may be none.  Who cares?  Be happy to be happy.  Be passionate to be passionate. 

The slave sees unhappiness everywhere.  The nobleman looks for every excuse to be happy there is.  The Master needs no excuse.  He is happy because that is what he is.

When you get this shit sorted out, it all falls into place.  Let me put a quote from the Tao te Ching (Chapter 38) to sum this up:

"When the Tao is lost, there is goodness.
When goodness is lost, there is morality.
When morality is lost, there is ritual.
Ritual is the husk of true faith,
the beginning of chaos.

Therefore the Master concerns himself
with the depths and not the surface."


How this applies to pick up, is that when you are your true self, you do what works, with no reason, and no explanation.  You let go and it just happens.

When you are further removed from your center, you act based on love, and affection to others.  You go "GIVE VALUE" and "BRING THE PARTY" 

When you can no longer do that, you do what you "should" do.  You approach sets and say "how can I take this further?"  "Is she ready to bounce?" Most importantly, you think "How can I make her like me?"

When you can't even do that any more, you're just going through the motions, knowing you suck, and feeling shitty the whole time, doing nothing for yourself beyond beating up your ego.  Uninspired Action is better than Uninspired Inaction, of course.  Still, it's not a good state.  By all means, if you're in this mode of being, still go out and approach.  Don't give the ego an opportunity to keep you inside. 

All this is to say that you need to find what you need within yourself.  It is THERE.  It is in EVERYBODY, and the more you can recognize it in other people, the more you can see it yourself.  See the inner pimp in absolutely everyone, the homeless guy on the street, the keyboard jockey guru with the fake lay reports, see the inner pimp in all of them waiting to come out.  Yours will emerge.  You are on your way.

--Dan
__________________
To all, thanks for reading.

If you'd like to know how I got to this mindframe, read my post:  How to Choose an Inner Game Program
If you're curious on how to meditate:  Meditation Made Easy
Recommends Release Technique, Sedona Method, and EFT
Please read the Meditation thread before PMing me with a question.  Thank you.
Login or register to post.
#5
Slojodan

Slojodan

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 1003

Psyfa,

Eckhart Tolle gives you a taste of the goal, but no path.

Blueprint gives you the path, but just the second half.

Meditation, Release Technique, Sedona Method, and EFT, give you not only the beginning of the path, but the entire way if you let it carry you.

--Dan
__________________
To all, thanks for reading.

If you'd like to know how I got to this mindframe, read my post:  How to Choose an Inner Game Program
If you're curious on how to meditate:  Meditation Made Easy
Recommends Release Technique, Sedona Method, and EFT
Please read the Meditation thread before PMing me with a question.  Thank you.
Login or register to post.
#6
Caligula

Caligula

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Join Date: 06/23/2008 | Posts: 1586

That is some pretty profound stuff Slojodan.

I must say though, hypnosis has been invaluable to my development.  I am interested in using EFT as well to clear out some remaining blocks (Non-PU related).

-Caligula
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#7

berlinrsd

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/29/2009 | Posts: 734

what?
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#8

Timtent®

Respected Member

Join Date: 07/09/2008 | Posts: 322

Slojodan wrote:
Psyfa,

Eckhart Tolle gives you a taste of the goal, but no path.

Blueprint gives you the path, but just the second half.

Meditation, Release Technique, Sedona Method, and EFT, give you not only the beginning of the path, but the entire way if you let it carry you.

--Dan

great post! ich copy/pasted a few lines into my personal library of rsdnation wisdom.

could you elaborate on the above? sedona, rt and the entire path?

thanks...
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#9
Slojodan

Slojodan

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/22/2006 | Posts: 1003

VisionsDivine wrote:




Slojodan wrote:

RSD Blueprint.

There is a step by step plan given to put it into use.

--Dan




By the way, I didn't see that on The Blueprint, you are making that up, where is that? or at least summarize what you think that is.

The step by step plan given in Blueprint is this:

1.  Feel good as much as you can, work on yourself, develop spiritually, meditate, ect.

2.  Go to the bar and approach with nothing on your mind.  Stand there with the awkwardness if you have nothing to say.  Only say what comes to mind naturally.  If there is nothing to say, be silent and maintain eye contact.  Let it bring the pain, the suffering, the agony.  Vomit if you have to, but DO NOT LEAVE until the girls tell you to or eject themselves.

3.  Do this weekend after weekend until the ego is broken down into submission, is released, and let's you be the cool, in-state you, all the time. 

4.  Above all, do the same thing whether or not you're in state.  Rain or shine.

The problem with this approach is it requires a very strong will and huge pain tolerance.  I think this approach only works with people who either have small egos to begin with or an ego that's based on tolerating pain and striving for accomplishment.  For most guys, this is not the case.  You have to let go of your issues in a less confrontational manner until your soul has awakened enough to sit through the awkwardness and apparent humiliation.

This why EFT and releasing methods are so effective.    IMPORTANT:  They only work if you still go out.  You can release in the club til you feel good, but never excuse yourself from being social.  There is no "holding off on socializing" while working on your inner game.  Do your at home excercises during the week, but in the club, that's where you are tested.  It's where you know where you stand on wanting approval, security, control, separation or oneness.  You sit down somewhere comfortable and release for a bit, maybe 10 minutes, then you go into set anyway.   Whatever you do in set is up to you.  Just don't let the ego trick you into Inactive Inaction.  Inactive Action and Inactive Inaction are it's greatest tricks.  

With Inactive Action, the ego can make you think you're productive when you're just moving junk around in a circle.  Tim Ferris calls this creative avoidance.

Thanks to the well meaning teachers of the Secret and other inner game gurus, the ego has a new trick where it makes you think you're doing something when you're sitting on your ass, manifesting nothing.  Yet you wait on faith.

Is there Active Inaction in getting women?  Can you bring women in to your life just by letting go and letting the universe do it?  Yes, but I would say 0.01% of people can do it, so don't even try.  If you can manifest wealth with no action first, try it with women next.  If you can't do it with wealth, don't kid yourself, you're not there yet. :-)

--Dan
__________________
To all, thanks for reading.

If you'd like to know how I got to this mindframe, read my post:  How to Choose an Inner Game Program
If you're curious on how to meditate:  Meditation Made Easy
Recommends Release Technique, Sedona Method, and EFT
Please read the Meditation thread before PMing me with a question.  Thank you.
Login or register to post.
#10

Rich~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/19/2006 | Posts: 1576

Hey Slojo, great post.

What would you say your results have been with the releasing techniques? 
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