November 19th, 2018
J's Summer of Transformation: What Kind of Senior In College Do I Want to Be?
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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

This is a field report for the last couple of nights.

Thursday 6-25-09

I went out feeling great. Girl Talk was blasting on my speakers, and I was super pumped. I was by myself, as usual.

It took me longer to find parking than it usually does, but I finally did. I went to the first bar, a place named Harry Buffalo. I ordered my drink and opened the first 3-set I saw...

"Sup guys! You guys don't look sad at all! YOU, stop smiling. Michael Jackson's dead....and Farah whatever-her-name-is..." This got an initial good reaction, and it was completely spontaneous on my part. We talked about baby names, and how NOT to name your kid “Blanket” like Michael Jackson did. However, the biggest chode of all (the server with a large pizza) intervened and I lost the set to a F#$@ pepperoni pizza! Arlight, next topic.

I kept opening with things like "Hey. Sup guys. You both looked adorable so I figured I'd come over here and...hey! No, stop leaning IN against the bar it's bad for your posture! Lean back! There...good, that's better. Anyway, where was I..." This kind of opener works because they are confused at first and they giggle (go chode, then explode-ish?). Anyway, lost that set too as I ran out of things to say due to poor state.

I went to the next bar, a place called Around the Corner (which is actually right in front). I opened this girl by the bar by saying "Who the hell do I have to blow to get a drink around What am I doing wrong...should I show more cleavage?" I noticed about halfway that I knew this girl from somewhere. Yup, I made eye contact with her before briefly then walked away. We talked for a little bit more, and her fatttie friend even moved out of the way so I could talk better (which, for the fattie, must have been an exhausting 3-foot walk so props to her). I didn't ask for her number because....well, I just didn't ask for it. I need to stop ejecting prematurely when it's going well...anybody have any good tips for plowing?

For the next three or four sets, I got blown out and blown out, and then, blown out again. I got blown out so much I actually sat down and texted my friend about how shitty things were going. Some blonde-ish girl came up to me as I was sitting (she was maybe like a 7 or an 8) and said “hey, why are you texting? Stop texting you’re at a bar. I’m gonna introduce you to my *hot* friend. Few minutes later this (lo-and-behold) hot girl walks up and says “Hi. I’m G***” (as in "vaGINA").

My state was about as low as my value at that point so, you guessed it, I got blown out after being approached by a girl!  Wait, no. Stop and read it that again. I got blown out by a girl that approached ME! If you’re an armchair geek and you’re thinking the following: *pushes up glasses* “well, girls don’t approach guys at bars that just goes against all theory” I’m telling you that it happened and that you need to stop spanking it to old facebook pictures of those girls you knew in high school and go out. It's rare, but it happens.

So, after messing up that divine gift of glory, I went to the next bar, where I opened a bachelorette party of 6s mixed with 4s, since they were the only ones there. It went well (but uhm, duh…they had an average of 5s in the group) so I stepped out and this was set number 9.

I sat down on the sidewalk for a moment. Everybody looked as if they were having a better time than me. I could hear people laughing and chodes were pulling out towels and windex to polish their shiny Chode Crystals *see Jeffy Show*. If you’re like me and go out alone a lot, you know what I’m talking about here. It’s painful, and it sucks.

But I still needed to do one more set. I walked into the last bar of the night, went to straight to the bathroom, and took a fake piss. I realized what I was doing (delaying my approach), and I quickly left the bathroom and approached this Cameron-Diaz-Looking girl with her friend. I don’t even remember what I said, but, you guessed it: it didn’t hook. At one point I even broke character and said “I’m out meeting people, and it’s been a bad night.” They didn’t know how to react.

We talked for a bit more (I kinda pushed myself to plow), but it still didn’t hook.

Note to all armchair geeks: that’s called a BAD NIGHT and you WILL have those IF (not when) you go out. I’ve gotten laid several times with everything from sorority girls to hot blonde party girls, and this shit STILL happens to me. Most of these are from social circles though, so they don't count.

Friday 6-26-09

I got locked out of my office at work, and I had to call security to open the door. And I gave them the wrong room number (I was off by one, cus apparently I don’t even know what office I’m in). It took an hour for me to get out of work. Great start to my night, right?

I was not blasting Girl Talk this time. To be honest, after last night I didn’t even feel like going out. I got myself to do it under the premise that “I’ll thank myself for it later…in like a year.”
So I’m out at this strip of bars called Public House, PJ Mcintyres, and West Park Station. So I first went to PH, to get ‘talkative.’

To be quite honest, I didn’t get talkative at all. I talked to some dude that was there with his parents because he was on probation for something along the lines of “breaking some dude’s face off during a fight” or something like that. Whatever. They kept buying him beers so I guess it CAN be cool to have your parents as wings.

I went to the next bar (PJ’s), where I got blown out. First, it was a set of 6s. Then it was a lonesome 6. I tried to get myself in state by doing “trampoline sets,” which is where you approach sets without stopping until one of them hooks. None of my sets hooked. And they weren’t even HOT! Some girl talked to me for a while, but then turned her big frame around and talked to some other chode. WTF?!

I went back to PH for a raffle I’d entered, and lost. I opened a couple of girls with the “I just lost a raffle. I’m heartbroken” premise, and it didn’t work. By this point I realized that this was a repeat of last night. Ugh, well. I had to keep going. I was on set  number four or something.

I went to WPS, and walked in through the back. This place is usually pretty crowded, but something about tonight was slow (nah, you think?). I opened up a set of double-fisting thirty-something-year-olds to “self-amuse.” I opened with “Hey guys. Do you like douchebags? I am one. Do you want to be my friends?” Something about this seemed interesting. I tried to blow myself out of this horrendous set of two anti-hotties, but they kept talking to me about Can Cun and how they hated it (wtf? Who hates Can Cun? Oh yeah, ugly girls do apparently...).

Some doe-eyed fat girl came and pulled me into the 8th-grade dance (READ: empty) dance floor. I didn’t give a fuck at this point, so I just said “Nah. I’m not feeling this. Thank you though” and walked away. I was at around the same point I was at list night when I sat down on the sidewalk. Yup. One more set to go. Aannnddd..action!

I go outside to the patio and order like my fourth of fifth *free* water of the night. I happen to be sitting next to some hot blonde girl and some other people. I watch the TV. It’s Michael Jackson, on CNN, dancing. Girls (old and not hot) keep coming up to the bar to get drinks. I’m just sitting there with my water.

[ASIDE ON BODY LANGUAGE: guys, when you sit down at a bar or a table DO NOT LEAN *IN* AGAINST THE BAR. It looks terrible and you look like every other guy in there. Lean back on your chair then look around. Chances are you’ll be the only one doing this. Girls notice this kind of thing; you look more confident (because you are, right?) than every other dude by several miles]

The blonde girl next to me was kind of facing away from me. She was probably a 9, with her friends being around the 8 – 10 range. There was a break in their conversation, and some chode bag dude in a white Express t-shirt was talking to them. I opened the blonde girl with “Hey do you like douchebags? I am one. Will you be my friend?” She said no. This is pretty much how the conversation went after that:

ME: Why not. You gotta give douchebags a chance.
NICE GIRL: No, I don’t think so…wait what? Why are you introducing yourself as a douchebag?
ME: Cus I am one. And I’ve fully accepted it. (i have that kind of pulling-your-leg attitude)
NICE GIRL: Hahaha. Shut up.
ME: I’m just being upfront about it. Would you rather find out ten months from now? Yeah shut up then.
NICE GIRL: Well. I’m a nice girl, that’s why I’m talking to you.
ME: Thanks. You’re doing wonders for my self-esteem.
NICE GIRL: Ha. We are NOT having this converstion.
ME: Yes we are. You’re loving it.

I notice at this point that my voice slowed down significantly from before. Instead of propping my water on the bar, it’s propped up against my lap as I lean back and kind of face away from this girl. She and her presumably hot friend who I couldn’t see blow out the white shirt dode from earlier by going to the bathroom

When they come back, I re-open the blonde with something. She turns to her friends and goes “hey girls, you two need to get in this conversation.” One of the girls walks over to my side. She gets them up to speed on the *absolute* nonsense we’re talking about. One of them says “I’m a bitch.”

GIRL: You're a douchebag? I’m a bitch.
ME: No you’re not. You’re just pretending.(to NICE GIRL) see, why can't you be like her?!
GIRL: I’m a conniving bitch.
ME: I don’t know what that word means. I bet you did great on the SATs though…
ME: Douchebags don’t use big words. We’re simple peop….hey hey!! (pointing at NICE GIRL)…what are you gonna clip your toenails on the bar next? (she was applying lotion to her gorgeous, gorgeous tan legs)
ALL GIRLS: hahahaha

At this point, some dude that draws cartoons of people comes up. He works for tips. I ask to see his work before I pose with these girls. He draws us, and I keep yelling at these girls and telling them to face the camera or whatever. These girls, probably the hottest ones there, are loving me. And to think I was having a bad night...

When we’re done posing like the hotties we all are, I take the drawing and give the dude two bucks. You can see where this is going

GIRL (who’s, by the way, anywhere between a 9 and a 10): we get to keep the drawing!
ME: fuck that. No you don’t. Bitches don’t always get what they want. Don’t you watch rap videos? Bitches are always out of work at the end of the video
GIRL: *starts phsyically fighting for it*

[KINO ASIDE: Yes, keyboard geeks, you read that right – she initiated kino all on her own. It’s like dividing by zero: some of us can do it simply because we try enough times.]

ME: here,wait, I need to label you guys in case I forget which one of you is which (cocky funny if you will, thanks David D.)

I do a half-assed job of labeling it. I’m labeled as douche bag with a question mark at the end, which in my opinion should’ve been an exclamation mark! Anywho. They steal it from inside my shirt where I’ve kept it hidden.

Then, the really weird shit starts happening.

Guys, if you’ve ever been a rock star (that is, when you’re the only guy and you’re surrounded by hotties who are having a blast with you), you’ve probably experienced this. GUYS WILL START GIVING YOU PROPS. Their male friends will come up and will introduce themselves to you. You’ll start to see dudes hang around your general area. Guys will find any excuse to talk to you, even regulars.

Some guys will even ask me "why are you letting them call you a douchebag." I just respond with "I am one...can't you see" then hug one of the girls.

GIRL: who are you here with anyway?
ME: just by myself.
GIRL: and why don’t you have a beer
ME: cus I don’t feel like having one
GIRL: wow

More of her friends show up on the other side of the bar. It's about closing time.

GIRL: I’m going over there. We’ll autograph the painting for you.
ME: cool, turn it in to me when you’re done *pats head*
ALL (including chodes who are now talking to them): hahaha…"turn it into him," this guy!

I sit over where I used to be sitting, and people are opening up like butter. Some dude even introduces himself to me and starts telling me that we should hang out. This guy seemed legit though, and he knew who these girls were. He’s a natural, I suppose. He tells me that if I come out with him Sunday, I’ll meet some hot girls like those who are his friends.


We do a shot and we do a toast (courtesy of FEISTY GIRL, whom I didn’t have time to get into here):

“To friendship and honor: if you can’t shoot it in her shoot it ON her.”

Well put my friend.

Yup. Time to leave, says the hulk-hogan looking security guard's body language.

I didn’t get their numbers, and this was very selfish of me. I was in such good state and had such notoriety with who was left at the bar and didn’t wanna ruin it. Next time I go out, I need to be more ruthless. As fun as that was (to lord the bar), I still have sticking points. Grr..

But I was still being gamed by the hottest girls at the bar. Seriously. I turned a 99% bad couple of nights into an awesome night. My style is best when it’s super chill and relaxed. Unreactive? Yup. Cocky funny? Yep, has been part of my personality for several years now. Closer mentality? Not quite. Not yet. Don’t worry, I’ll get it :-)

Oh, and here’s the pic:


Going out again tonight, will try to close!

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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

Awesome. I'm my own first reply.

Eben Pagan (David to most of you guys) has taught me something important: thinking long term.

So, on that note, I'm starting to think the following: where will I be A WEEK FROM NOW?

Here is my schedule for this week (if you live in the Cleveland area, let me know): 

1) Wednesday: West Park Station
2) Thursday: West 6th (loud ass clubs)
3) Friday: (Around The Corner-ish)
4) Saturday: West 6th

I will do anywhere between 10 and 15+ approaches each night, totalling to anywhere between 40 and 60+ approaches over the course of 4 days.

Where will I be 40 to 60+ approaches from now? Tune in next week for the answer to this question

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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

My parents decided they're getting a divorce today.

I only did one approach tonight. It went well, I hugged the hottie. But then I went home cus I was too out of whack.

Good times.

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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/13/2008 | Posts: 160

Nice... well written FR. I've never seen one of those artist guys when I'm out at night... those girls ARE hot!
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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

@daveH Haha, yeah. The sketch guy was like "man, you're letting these girls call you a douche...i dunno man" - full chode.

Anyway, kind of a rough couple of days but I'm going to a place called Shooters tonight. I'm getting there early (9:30 or so) to have time and the opportunity to get into full nimbus deluxe before that place gets fucking PACKED. Will write FR upon return, even if some hunny reads over my shoulder as I type :-)
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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

Alright gotta do this quick; I have other things that need to get done.

So went out, with  my wing who knows nothing about this stuff but will approach any two or three set without problems. Lots of chodey questions, etc... but no fear of approaching. Awesome.

Did a lot of very high-energy approaches but, without intent, I turned into a dancing monkey since I never actually took it a step further. This is eating me from the inside out.

Some highlights: 

1) Used the cyclone to get into state - works like a charm, and even got a few girls to talk to us for 20+ minutes and some others coming back to us later.

2) Some girl having a lot of fun (READ: shitfaced) showed me her nip piercing after me denying her a lap dance.

3) We talked to some girls about utter and complete nonsense for about 20 minutes after doing the cyclone, and we left because one girl kept bringing up the fact that she dated 100+ guys and was looking for one to marry asap *slash* wouldn't do a cyclone for us (pshhhh)

4) Approached the hot, annoyed staff and got massively good reactions just from being in state

5) Hugged a few girls for no reason, yaaaayy

6) Imitated girl's dance moves (super fun); one time, a girl asked me to "come over here" and I back-pedaled to her in a silly way (remembering Tyler's thing)

7) Opened up groups with HAPPY BIRTHDAY, and coincidentally it was some dude's we talked to him for a little while

Most of my approaches seemed to blend in together to be honest. Overall good night until I realized that I had (so far) shown ZERO intent.

What. The. Fuck.

I made a pact with B that I would approach at least one girl directly going "Hey you're a cutie. I'm J I just had to meet you." 

Though it wasn't comfortable, I did it and got the following response: "I'm actually en...gaged." I could feel someone taller than me sort of hovering behind me and as I walked away, I heard "who was that guy" from whom I presume to be the unlucky chode getting married (yuck) to this, well...SEVEN at best (pffft).

Lessons learned: 

1) Cyclone of glory must be preceeded by a "HEY HEY! LOOK" in order to get their attention

2) On that note, who the hell is still trying routines this day and age? Worthless when you have woo

3) I spent all night trying to get woo, which was fun but not productive at all. I need to change my mindset regarding what the hell it really is I'm doing all of this for.

Neutral night. Next weekend, DC baby!
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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

Okay so, I today was reading Tony Robbins at Panera so this might have had something to do with what I did...

I look out the window and there's a hunny sitting outside reading. In a matter of seconds, I put some gum in my mouth, close my book, get a drink of water and head out to talk to her. I had NEVER been this driven to just approach an HB9.


I wasn't in state, I wasn't self-amusing - I was just me acting from pure drive. Yes!

So, long story short, I got blown out....ha!

Me: Hey what's up?!
HB: Do I know you?
Me: Nope.
HB: I'm BookNerd
Me: Pleasure. I'm J.

So basically, I plowed for about five minutes until she gave me enough reason to walk off. The look won me over and I left. I plowed longer than I normally do, and for the first time in a while, I could actually feel my leg shaking as I talked. It was mostly due to the fact that I approached without thinking and actually got excited and connected with my purpose. Oh well, I'll get them next time...


I'm actually starting to feel bad for all these bitties I talk to but that I don't hook. I'm a cool guy and I've had great experiences/adventures with some really hot girls. I'm not coming from a place of "never have I ever" - I'm coming from a place of "why can't I just be damn consistent?!"

I feel bad because these girls would have so much fun with me and I keep blowing it by pretending to be a chode. Oh well - I wish I'd met these girls three months from now or a year from now :-(


The end.

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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

Alright, headed to DC tomorrow but in the meantime, I'd like to comment on some day game.

Night game to me is so planned out, while day game seems super spontaneous. Here's what happened today.

I was on my way back to work from lunch ( I went home to eat) and decided to stop at starbucks. I went in and chatted up the barista (a dude), and I looked at the patio and there was some hottie there...

Me: That girl's cute outside isn't she...
Barista: Yeah. You gonna go talk to her?
Me: Yup. I'm late to work.

So I put sugar in my americano, and half and half, and started walking out.

Me: Hey what's up I have to go back to work but my name's J you're a cutie I had to meet you! (false time constraint minus the false part I guess...?)
HB: Hi I'm HB. Where do you work?
Me: That's top secret I can't tell you...sorry (I cover up my badge)

[she was reading a piece of paper]

Me: What are you reading there a napkin? Hmm...
HB: Haha. I'm meeting a friend here we're talking business
Me: At starbucks? What kind of a shitty business are you running....we need to get you an office!
HB: Haha, it's top secret!
Me: Pshh...I already used that one come up with something else...

[more irrelevant banter/verbal vomiting]

Me: Hey I gotta get back to work. I wanna talk to you again. Give me your number!
HB: Haha OMG I'm married, I'm sorry I have a husband...
Me: Do you want another one (classic)? What's with chicks from the midwest being married...seriously, you're only thirty or so
HB: I'm 26. I'm flattered by the way.

[more irrelevant banter/verbal vomiting]

Me: Alright well I wasn't kidding I'm getting back to work
Hb: Bye! See you later....or I guess not haha!
Me: Word, yo.

So, uhm, overall it was pretty high energy and fun. There were other people there who could hear everything I was saying. I've gotten to the point where I don't really care anymore haha. Good stuff

Alright so I'll be on the road tomorrow and then exploring the nightlife in DC Friday and Saturday.

FR of glory ensues.

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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

Alright so, about D.C...remind me to move there cus that place is sweet!

Friday 7 - 17 - 09

Met up with Eli's friends at some chode restaurant with good food. The vibe kinda sucked outside our group so we left.

We went to a place called Rocket Bar, which is a pretty cool bar and it was good for warm up sets. I did Tim's little NLP anchor of clapping and yelling WOOOO as soon as we went in.

I opened some girl walking behind me and lost Eli in the process, who went to the bar. I was trying to get calibrated and I made her promise me I'd see her again by using some kino (pinky swear, gets them every time). This got me in a good mood because I did my two anchoring routines as soon as I went in (clapping/woo and approach first girl you see).

I found Eli and walked up to the bar, where he was ordering a drink for himself. Next to him was some girl, and I tapped her and turned her wrist so that I could see the inside. She had a tattoo that said 'confidence' and I went testy trying to figure out what that was about. The way I turned her wrist was very gentle, almost like the two-finger tap you do on the shoulder but applied to the wrist. Some dode came to her other side and I said something a little bit miscalibrated so she turned away. Meh...

Eli and I walked around, mostly because I wanted to figure out the layout of the place. We came back to around to where we were before and, without hessitation, walked up to a two-set sitting at the bar.

Me: You guys look cool, I figured I'd come talk to you
HBs: Blah blah, we're drinking rum and coke, what are you drinking
Me: Water. I'm cool.
HBs: blah blah

[Eli comes in]

Me: Yoooo, this is my buddy Eli say hi.

At some point I said something weird, and Eli disagreed with me and semi-tooled me on it, at which points I lost some state and the girls turned around in their chairs slightly and faced the bar. At this point I got way in my head and was stuck there for a while. WTF. We moved to the next bar (which was pretty far away).

The loss of state combined with the scrambled running around in the Metro got me even more inside my head. We walked to an area called Adam's Morgan. As we walked over a bridge, Eli kept telling me to get into state and I kept trying. Trying to consciously get into state is absolutely useless. I've found that it's nearly impossible to mentally say "alright, no more chode/yuck state, just be in state." As I've read around the forums, state is driven by action. So I tried taking action. I was starting to get pissed and wanted to go home at this point.

I open a wasted two-set crossing the bridge by asking them for directions to where we were going (we really didn't know at this point)...

HB 1: (in a snappy voice) I don't know we're following some group walking ahead of us sorry.

Nope. Nothing good for my state. Fuck!

Eli had mentioned that my voice sounded nasal on that last set. It hadn't always been this way, except that when I'm being loud it's the only way I've found. I decided to correct this immediately since he was probably right. I just added a little more bass.

When we got there, I got in line. At this point I was being absorbed by the environment. Everybody was having more fun than me, and every dude seemed to have a girl, etc... you know the feeling

We wait in line to get into this place called GranDCentral (omg get it?), and when we get to the front, I'm told by the bouncer that I have to leave my hat in a bucket that's next to the entrance, where all these other hats are.

Me: Fuck no. Let's go somewhere else dude. This is bullshit.
Eli: Nah man, just drop it in.
Me: No fucking way. I have standards. Fuck this guy, is he serious?
Eli: Come on, it'll be fine. It's got like a Shamrock on it, not that cool.
Me: Go to hell....Fuck it. Here you go. You better take care of it.
Bouncer: We're not responsible for any damages or losses
Me: (to myself) I hope your kids get nut cancer, and your girls get pregnant at 12. Asshole.

Obviously, I was in a bad state. Really bad state. Destroyingly bad state. But I knew it could be fixed.

We spot a blonde and some tanner, italian-looking girl. They're 7s, maybe the blonde is an 8 (but that's pushing it). Eli tells me to go up to them. I may be in a shit state, but that still doesn't give me approach anxiety. I seriously don't think I can get that. I purposely make my voice deeper when I talk...

Me: Hey! What are you drinking? Water? Cool.
HB Italian: Ha, no. It's [insert girly drink name here]
Me: Isn't that drink supposed to be red (I have no fucking idea...)?  You're lying to me. Let me smell that.
HB: Haha. Fine.
Me: [I smell the drink. smells like Care Bear shit, waaay too sweet]

At this point, since it's goin alright, I begin to get into state slowly. Instead of talking to them both, I talk to her friend (the blonde) while Eli entertains this other one. We talk about nonsense, and on a high note I claw the beyotch. Lo and behold! She doesn't blow me out, so the claw grows stronger. We talk for a little longer. The HB Italian is being a snotty ho, so I re-engage the conversation.

I'm talking LOUD.
I'm talkin FLUID.
My voice is DEEP.

I'm saying some of the most retarded things I can think of, and it's working. I'm in this for the practice, so I do the little TD snap-my-fingers-with-both-hands and say "hey, c'mere...let's go over here." They follow, but then they go to the bathroom asking us if we were gonna be around here and that they'd be right back. Meh, didn't feel like a blowout and they DID come back later.

In the meantime, we walk over to a different section of the bar and see some cuties. That Pitbull song plays ('I know you want me'), so we ask them if any of them have ANY clue what this song says in Spanish (Eli and I both speak Spanish). They say "One, two, three, four..." is all they know. I start talking to one of the blondes: 

Me: Really? You mean to tell me that after all tha high school spanish that's all you learned? The first four numbers in the sequence? Hmm...this country we live in...
Her: Haha. Well, I took Italian actually, not Spanish, but they're kind of similar....
Me: Go on...
Her: Hey do you have your cooties shot?
Me: What?
Cooties Girl: You circle, dot dot, now you have the cootie shot?
Me: Oh yeah, I was immunized last week. I'm current with all my shots. Thanks for making sure, we can be friends! [CLAW her in]
Cooties Girl: Haha

I notice her (remarkably cuter) friend is like three feet away...

Me: Hey, friend! C'mere!
Cooties Girl's Friend: What?
Me: We're making sure everybody's current with their shots. Did you get your cootie shot? 
Cooties Girl's Friend: Ha, what? Not since like fourth grade...
Me: Well we gotta get you caught up it's dangerous

I realized I was in state at this point, and was a complete 180 from a few minutes ago. As I figured earlier, I need to start moving girls around the venue.

Me: Hey. We're going to the bar. Come on!
Cooties Girl: Go to the bar, I'll stay here.
Me: Fine. I'm gonna make you pinky swear (what's with me and this corny shit?!). Alright. It's a legal contract, don't make me bring in my lawyers...

We walk off. We go downstairs, and we come back up. The first blonde girl is there. She's walking past me. I did the only thing I know to do in that situation (I just watched Tim's Flawless Natural). I do the forearm claw...

Now in retrospect, this would've worked if I hadn't hesitated. It went like GRAB...PULL GENTLY...LET GO SLIGHTLY...GRAB AGAIN...UNSUCCESFULLY PULL GENTLY...LET GO OF COMPLETELY. I honestly have never done this, so I didn't know if it would work. I've heard it works countless times from the same people I take all my other advice from (uhm...the people at RSD), so I'm gonna keep trying based on this faith. I can't hessitate though; not next time....100%.

Regardless, they still stopped to talk to us and we talked for a little while. I did some more clawing, and I was in state. We told them to go downstairs to the other bar with us, and they agreed to come. Booyah!

We go down, but at this point I really don't wanna hook up with this girl since I'm in state and know that I can probably do better.

We chode around for a bit. Eli has some girls coming so we wait. I go check on my hat to make sure it's still in the bucket...

OH. MY. GOD. Somebody puked in the bucket! Disaster! I find this out because  I, uhm, pulled my hat out and it was wet and smelled. WTF. Seriously? Good thing I bought it at Target or I'd be furious. Ugh. Whatever. I'm in state, so it becomes a joke at this point.

Eli introduces me to his friend and tells me to "grab the little one while he goes for the other one." 

Me: Hey what's up I'm J (spin around).
Her: Hey, I'm HB.

We talk for a little bit. I make laser eye contact the whole time. I'm holding her hands, pulling her in, teasing, etc... Basically, running solid. Her friend comes up to talk to her and pulls her, and I know better so I open the set next to me while she's busy. She returns, and it's glory.

At some point, I see Eli making some ambiguous hand signals behind her back. Apparently, he meant "makeout." I missed it and she turned around. They go to bathroom. We wait. I open a 5/8 two-set, the 8 retracts and I talk to 5 for no reason. I about my hat. She laughs. 8 moves away even further. What?! Whatever, I eject...

Me: Dude, I need to makeout with that tiny girl. I at least have to go for it.
Eli: Yeah.

They come out of the bathroom, and we say we're leaving. I give her a hug, and then I go for the makeout...

DENIED! Haha, but in a good way. She didn't run away, she didn't push me away, we simply kept talking like before. I should have, in retrospect, gone for it again. Lesson learned. When denied, keep going. Now I understand 'not yet' in context, not just in theory...

I go back up and run into cooties girls and tell them my sob story. Something was way off this time...

Me: [tell sob/funny story]
Cooties Girl: And you're telling us this...because...?
Me: Because I'm sad
Cooties Girl: [closes eyes] alright let's take a moment of prayer to remember your hat ready...
Me: (didn't know what to make of this...making fun of me, what?) What the fuck is your problem,
[Cooties Girl and Friend give me look and walk away from me]

I get Eli, We leave the bar. Random notes on after...

- One of Eli's friends gets approached by a shit housed guy who made unintellegible sounds with his mouth (words, maybe? wtf). I clawed her to protect her and she thanked me
- I filmed people piling out of the club and became depressed when I found my filthy hat in the bucket again. On top of the puke, there was now a slice of pizza in there to make it all better...
- The cab driver's hopes and dreams for his future depressed ths piss out of me on the way home...

Main lessons: 

- Deepen my voice on top of making it loud
- Claw with 100% belief (oh Tim)
- Claw on shoulder never got rejected by any of the girls
- Moving girls around venue may require multiple tries, shouldn't give up
- Previously-friendly girls will be weird later??

I'll post the saturday FR tomorrow, right now i'm tired.

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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

Aaaaalrighty, *clears throat* where were we?

Oh yeah, field report on my summer progression towards becoming the coolest senior any college has ever seen. Yup, let's get right to it...

Saturday 7 - 18 - 09 (Washington DC)

So, I went out with Locomariachi again (Eli previously). This time, we went up a more club-like scene, which is normally NOT my scene (I typically do bars or hybrid club/bar places).

We got there early to make sure our free admission passes counted for something and went in. Nobody there yet, except a bachelorette party. I went up to introduce myself and did some weirdo dance and told them that that was the only dance I knew and that they must teach me some sick moves. I hooked and even did some silly handshake with one of the girls, and put my arm around her. I've noticed that when I put your arm around girls (especially early on), they don't really think it's as weird as I probably think it is. It's very natural and it flows as long as I'm cool with it.

We chatted with them for a bit and then decided that this club was fucking dead and we needed to go elsewhere. We walked like ten minutes to this other club, and when we got there the place was empty. I opened the only girl there, who was actually working (she takes promotional pictures of know the story). I busted on her for double fisting and told her that it wasn't very lady-like to double fist, even if she had a rough week. She laughed and pointed at her boyfriend, who was also working and taking pictures of a bachelorette party.  When the bachelorette party walked by us, I tried stopping them with something and it semi-worked. Oh well.

I kept talkin to the photographer and told her that I would help her recruit cuties for pictures. She agreed. I opened a few girls and some of them refused to take pictures with me (wtf). Some did, and this one blonde in particular was pretty into it. Maybe an HB8 or HB9, she was clearly on a pedestal. I was telling her that this picture was going to make her famous, blah blah blah. I was telling her this in a really loud club, and she was shoving her ear in my mouth so that she could hear. I've always heard people talking about girls doing this in loud clubs, but this is one of the first times I've experienced girls doing this.

The rest of the night was a little off; we went back to the original club and to be quite honest, it overwhelmed me. It was MUCH louder than before. Some highlights: 

1) I did the cyclone for these two girls AFTER they'd blown me out; I'm getting better at plowing
2) I danced with a shit-housed cambodian girl; I get really turned off by drunk girls, it doesn't feel right because it feels as if it was too easy and they're not attracted to me for me (I don't get realistic feedback)
3) We went to the bar from the night before called Rocket Bar. It was pretty dead, but like I said to Locomariachi "dude, last famous words: one more set." I opened some like 7 (she had ugly glasses, otherwise she would've been an 8). I plowed through her initially-indifferent reaction and at the first break in conversation, she walked away.

That was it for DC. Back to Cleveland, OH.

Thursday 7 - 23 - 09

I went out to a place called Around the Corner. This is the same set of bars where I had my bad night a few weeks ago. I was alone, and there were Crab Races (go figure) going on.

I opened a girl walking behind me as I kept walking. It was going playful until I decided to stop and talk to her, at which point she kept walking. Her friend was right behind her and sort of kept pushing forward and the girl lost interest.

I went up to the bar and cut in between a set of guys and some girls sitting at the bar (not talking to each other). I ordered my drink (soda water with lime) and there was an HB9 to my right, sitting. When I don't know what to open with, I use BR tonality and ask the question: "Who are you?" This is my default opener, I've decided.

Me: Who are YOU?
HB8: I'm HB8. Who are you?
Me: Ahh...there you go. I'm J.

[I was not in state, so I started talking about uhm....whatever came to my mind I guess?]

Me: I'm not from here. There's shit going on here in Cleveland that you can't have anywhere else. Like, my buddy has a boat and can literally just go for a ride whenever he can (was this trying to impress or something)? I've had such a weird summer, but in a good way. I'm always fascinated by blah blah blah
Her: Cool. [starts asking me questions]

Now my goal here was not to have gold coming out of my mouth, but rather hold good eye contact and have a loud, deep voice. Her friends weren't blocking, and she was still talking to me, which was good enough for me. Looking back, my voice and eye contact were probably the only reasons I didn't get blown out.

At some point though, a different song came on and she went crazy and said "sorry.' And simply turned away, which was a very minimalistic and polite way to blow me out (I guess, right?). I said my goodbyes and she didn't pay attention. I was still neutral.

I went back to the crab races which, if you don't know what they are, involve (drunk) people purchasing crabs, placing them on a table, and some dj/bartender spraying them with water as they crawl their way to the finish line (which is a circle around the table). The top two move on to the next round. The winner that night took home $50+ in cash. Not bad. That's the midwest for you...

I sit there trying to amuse myself by thinking of how ridiculous this is. I try stopping some girl that walked by with "HEY C'MERE!" She smiles at me but doesn't stop. Damn. Should I have chased her?

This HB8/9s walk up and are just as confused as I am, but they seem bitchy. Oh yeah.

Me: "Hey. Do you wanna be rich?"

The one closest to me ignores me. I wait a little, then I tap her shoulder

Me: *tap tap* Hey! Do you wanna be rich!?"
Her: What? How do you play this.
Me: You race. Well, your crab does.
Her: How much does it cost? 
Me: Three bucks I think. I don't know.
Her: Aww, I only have a dollar. *puppy face*
Me:Why don't you go ask some random dude for two dollars?
Her: [to me] Hey can I have two dollars??
Me: Haha. What? No way! I gave you the idea. What's wrong with you?
Her: Haha. Worth a try. I'm not that kind of girl. I'm not a skank, I don't go around asking for money or drinks...
Me: Sure you don't. Whatevs..
[she turns away from me]

She taps me again (more like hits me) and asks me some question related to crab races. I ignore her and don't even turn around. Hmm...

I go to the bathroom, then come back up to watch the crab races. This HB300Lbs opens me. I have nothing better else to do but talk to her, but she's with a cutie blonde chick. It's clear that the fatty wants me so the other one stays back. I get into a playful mood with her, but that's about it. I keep ignoring her (not to be mean, but I didn't want her to get the wrong idea).  We decide that we're racing her crab as a team. I tell her that as soon as that little asshole crab starts losing, I'm turning into a drunk little league dad and yelling at it.

HBFattie: What are you drinking?
Me: Water?
HBFattie: STFU. No you're not.
Me: Wanna smell? It's fucking water.
HBFattie: I'm hungry. I want twinkies and probably a half-pizza [just kidding, she didn't say that but I'm sure she was thinking it]

Now, again, I wasn't trying to be mean. I have nothing but love for fatties, but I learned to stand my ground with testy girls. I ignored half her questions, and responded with vague answers. I may start using this same frame with hot girls. With not-so-hot girls, this seems to have the opposite effect. She grew disillusioned and walked off. So I yelled at her crab for her in her absence, and it lost. It never even moved actually. I think it died...

Meanwhile, the HB9 from before started talking to me again. In fact, she moved positions from where I'd met her to where I was now sitting. I decided to pull up a bar stool and watch the races while sitting down while everybody else stood. She told me that I was wrong about the price. I ignored this, but then she asked me another question:

HB Gambler: What do you win if you win?
Me: Money.
HB Gambler: Well yeah, but how much? 
Me: You get money, OK? I don't know. [with some intense eye contact]
HB Gambler: [rolls eyes, but with a smile]

I'm not in a bad mood, or a good mood. I'm neutral, but it was weird to be so callous. I can tell she's talking to her friend about me. The "Thong Song" comes up, and I start singing pretty loud to it.
Me: let me see that thoooooong, thong, thong, thong thong...

HB Gambler (to friend): OMG he's like singing now...

Now, I'm sure that if I had been more playful and had more intent, I may have been able to hook this girl and get a conversation going. This girl was stepping over all sorts of guys (I could hear her), and she was very testy.

Now, as far as field reports go, I try to abstain from saying things like "I finally understand XYZ," but that night I got a little bit of insight into what it means to NOT give my power away. I was being kind of a dick, but I wasn't doing it from an angry frame or from a reaction-seeking frame. Good stuff.

Friday 7 - 24 - 09

Went to shooters with my roommate, B. He's not in the community, but he's mad cool when it comes to going out and has NO reservations about approaching when it's his turn.

I send them into a set of cougar women. He gets blown out, but tells me that he doesn't really care at this point. Good stuff.

We head upstairs, which is supposed to be a hookah lounge and usually hosts birthday parties. B and I are bored, so we go to the edge that overlooks the dance floor. We start making fun of people dancing, and at some point I start narrating creepy dudes' attempts to dance with some hotties. It was like I was narrating UFC fights or something, it was whack. This random guy next to us started laughing at our comments. We asked him if there was a birthday party. He said yes. We heard somebody blow a party horn, and B and I knew we had to have one.

I walked up to some like middle-aged 7s and asked them where I could get a horn. AHHHH WTF?! They were rude to me! Seriously? Listen Uglies, you're not doing yourselves any favors by being bitchy to every person that comes up to you. Ugh, this is a big one for me. I've noticed that ugly girls are a lot more rude than cute girls right off the bat. I use this as motivation, and immediately walk up to like an HB9.

Me: Where can I get a horn? I desperately need one
Her: Uhm, you can get them at the tables.
Me: I can just take one? I'm getting one for my buddy too...
Her: It's my birthday.
Me: OMG happy birthday [lunge at her, hug her and pick her up]
[I hug her friend as well for no reason]

She literally lights up, and we start chatting . B comes up and we start celebrating. She wants a picture with us, so we get one [with her camera...damn].

Her friend starts telling us that downstairs is a cock fest, and we agree. She tells us to come back later as her hottie friends are coming by. I hug her again for no reason. I have yet to hug a girl and get a negative reaction, seriously.

We go back downstairs and walk around. Shooters is DEAD on fridays. We see this cutie smokin a cigarette by herself on a bar stool. We both blow our horns and give her these like weird stares and she lights up immediately. She works there, she's on break, she's happy to talk to us. We talk to her for a while and tell her that there's no way in hell she's getting our horns from us, but that she's welcome to party with us.

I tell her to quit her job and have fun with us instead, she laughs, it's going well. We start walking and she follows us because she has to go back to work. The whole time she's touching me, grabbing my arm, while B talks to her. We tell her that she better get all ditzy and loud whenever we walk by her and she agrees. Good times. Approaching nimbus.

I open these girls with my horn. They stare at me and actually walk past me like nothing happened. I stand there, and one of them actually comes back and talks to me. She inquires about the horn, and I tell her I got it from a birthday party upstairs. She tells me its HER birthday, so I immediately hug her and yell happy birthday. Again, don't get blown out for doing that kind of shit. B and I sort of start busting her balls a little bit, and she demands we give her a party trumpet. B denies her, and she reaches over to grab it and tears half of the little strings. We get mad at her and ask her why she so desperately wants to put some object that's been in a random man's mouth in hers.

She responds by holding some dude's hand and making out with him right in front of us. It was her boyfriend, and he saw me hug her. Mooooving onnnn...

We walk around a little more, and we sit down at the bar. B and I start dancing on our seats for no reason.

I open a three-set with my horn and point out how happy I just made them. I start talkin to one that's close to me. Strong eye contact, I tell her the story about how some girl three minutes ago tore half of B's strings for his horn. I ask her if she's ever had mono, and we start talking. Her face starts lighting up, but I notice her friends aren't. B isn't really talking too much to them, and they're starting to lose interest. All of a sudden, I stop seeing this girl's face and I am instead staring at the back of some generic Abercrombie-type Polo shirt.

Some interloper had literally cut in between me and the girl. Apparently he knew her. I heard him say "hey" while I was talking to her, and this is when I should've tried to engage him instead of ignoring him. I pointed out to B (who, again, is not in the community) that what that guy did was ACTUALLY the best thing you can do to interrupt a set where somebody is talking to your girl/target. I can only speak from experience in the case where you already know the girl and you already have her attracted, not in the case of opening. We cut our losses and moved on.

We decided that it probably wasn't the best night to be out and that we should probably head home. The place is still a shlong fiesta. The dance floor was mostly filled with guys and middle-aged people. The Staff confirmed our findings that this club sucked balls on fridays. It was nearing 2 am...some highlights:

1) B went back to talk to the friendly and hot bartender a couple of times. He told me that she was so close to his mouth that he almost made out with her while she was working. I told him to go back and get her number since it seemed solid, but she wouldn't give it to him. He didn't get it
2) Some dude tried selling me X and told me how it easy it is for him to make money out here. I didn't buy any, but we talked briefly...
3) I talked to an otherwise hot girl (she had gapped teeth). I got physical with her, put my arm around her, and kept pullin her by the arm towards me when she couldn't hear me. I would've tried to close her, but part of my new resolution is to only go for the hotties. Sevens are not my thing anymore, and raising my standards is what's kept me from getting ass lately...
4) Dancing in my own chair: gets me into awesome state

Saturday 7 - 25 - 09

This is last night. B and I went to West Park Station area. We started of at PJ's. It was full of forty-year-olds so we went to Public House for a while. I got a beer, and this is where B and I started self-amusing like crazy. A two-set was sitting there, the HB8 was shivering. We gave her ugly friend shit and told her to go hug her friend and keep her warm. We were being jackasses, but in like a really funny way. The girls were laughing, but they were at a different table.

At some point, we saw like a fat 20-something year old and a middle aged uggly, and we asked the girls if they thought those two were gonna hook up. They laughed. Our state was rapidly climbing. I finished my Miller light (I only had two that night), and we went back to PJ's. This time it was more packed and the band was playing. I went over to get my second and last beer of the night and cut into the bar to the right of two girls, an HB7 (closer to me) and an HB9 next to her.

Now in Ohio, Miller Light has a contest where you rip the back of the stickers of the beer and reveal one letter, with the options: O,H,I,O. If you collect all four, you can get a t-shirt and enter a raffle or some shit. My beer came with two, and I asked the HB7 if she wanted an "I" since I already had one. She declined but I gave it to her anyway. In the midst of talking to her, I made some weird eye contact with her HB9 next to her. By weird, I mean that I sort of squinted at her as if trying to recognize who she was (she looked kind of familiar to be honest). She squinted back and kind of smiled back at me.

I payed for my shizzle (my beer, and B his soda water with lime). It went a little bit like this:

HB9: I know you.
Me: Huh? You guys should go dance over by the band...good stuff!
HB9: Haha...I could get plowed fucked up drunk and still wouldn't dance...I know you!
Me: Really?
HB9: No yeah, I absolutely remember you. You have no idea who I am, but I know who you are.
Me: [sincerely] Oh wait, hang on...shit (she reminded me of the girls from the sketch found above, but not really)...nah, maybe I'll remember you.
HB9: Yeah, you won't remember us. But I remember you.
Me: From where
HB9: We were somewhere, I was out with my roommate
Me: Well I'll tell you what, I'm gonna go over there and give B his drink. If i remember you, I'll come talk to you again...

AHHHHHH. Dude, seriously? Why did I bail?! Some chode who was talking to her even ejected when I started talking to them. I seriusly (to this point) have no idea where I know her from. Maybe I remember her? Not to sound detached, but I literally forget what half the girls I approach look like. Who is this girl, and how did I make a good impression on her...damn

B and I make fun of some people in the dance floor. I went back to my car for my camera, and B said some gay guy hit on him while I was gone by beckoning him over to the dance floor. Haha.

We walked over to West Park Station (next door), the glory.

We always save this place for last because it's the coolest out of the three, and there is a patio. We walk in and we see no hunnies :-(

We sit down next to these like forty-something-year-olds and I order a water. B and I shoot the shit. I see some cool Landshark poster that I want to tear down and give as a gift to Locomariachi (his favorite beer). I don't find a way to do this in a way that doesn't involve me standing on the bar....shit...

To amuse myself, I pick up one of those cheesy flyers for Raves that was on the bar and start reading it. It's preposterous, the DJs have ridiculous names.

Me: [to the 50-year-old]  Hey, are you going to this?
HB Senior: Ughm, uh...
Me: Yeah me either. You should go though, I hear there'll be tons of fist-pumping shirtless boywhores who are nineteen. Totally your scene
HB Senior: Ha, yeah
Me: I mean seriously what the fuck is this shit...."DJ's Bday Bash!!" Two exclamation marks? Just to show you how cool they are really, you should totally go. You should drop some X before you do though. You look like the type you...go get 'em!
HB Senior: Hahaha.

Now at this point, I feel like I owe an explanation. I'm trying to get in state and I immediately start to notice how funny shit just starts pouring out my mouth. I tear up the flyer and I challenge her to a duel to see who can shoot it into the trashcan. She misses, and it's hilarious.

Random people start joining in and shooting their own free-throws from across the bar. We start throwing Bud Light LIme coasters in there. It's a riot. I withdraw myself from the match and declare myself the winner. She tells me I cheated. So I did....

We walk around a little more and I tell B to open a three-set. He gets blown out due to lack of conversation after opening with his party horn from last night (which got him an initially-good reaction).

B: Yo man, there's serioulsly very few girls here. I'm just gonna have fun now.
Me: Agreed [as we're walking]

*clap* [to this set of HB 8s that looked a little older than us]
Me: HEY! check this shit out girlsssss

B does a cyclone and I go crazy. We start busting out random shit and B blows his whistle at one of the two girls who's making fun of him and tells her that she's on Time Out and that she's not allowed to talk. GLORY!

We start going nuts. At some point B and one of the girls are dancing to absolutely no music. That's one thing I love about B...he's a great dancer and he dances for no reason whenever he feels like it. People start looking, and I start opening up groups going "See this shit! This is awesome. Woooo!" EVERYBODY starts looking at us and giving us props. People can hear everything I'm saying, and we keep this up for a while.

Me [to the girls]: All this talking makes me wanna go pee. I'll be back...
Both: Hahaha, alright

I come back and find B still talking to them. Chodes and interlopers are starting to crowd.

Now one of the things I've noticed is that when you're in state, guys react to you a lot differently. Chodes and non-dominant dudes kind of fall into the background along with the music and the chatter from distant tables. The cool dudes act cool towards you. You can make fun of guys and they'll laugh. You say 'excuse me' as you walk and they apologize to you. Gold.

Some girl comes in and she's at least an HB9. I open her with some random shit, and she smiles.
HB Interloper: Huuh? :-D
Me: I said join the party
HB Interloper: I'm trying to get a drink
Me: Want me to show some cleavage so you can get some attention
HB Interloper: Haha. Like get free drinks? 
Me: I'm not that talented.
[somehow we start talking about money]
Me: It's just fucking paper or numbers on a sheet! Who cares about money?!
HB Interloper: What? Money's so important
Me: All you need is looooooveee...
HB Interloper: Well I have two kids and need money to raise them

*DJ Needle Scratches* Euuurrrrrrr...

Fuck that, next girl...

Me : *tap tap* hey do you work here?
HB8 (semi-trashed): What? No...
Me: Are you sure you don't work here? Don't lie
HB8: Yes I'm sure.
B [first time he's come into a conversation]: I want a frozen margarita! Do you have any?
HB8: You mean do I have a blender, ice, tequila...
Me: Oh my god you're zero help...
HB8: I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU GUYS!!! I don't have a blender if I did you could like totally use it

This goes on for a while. She sniffs her own armpit (not very su LOL)

Me: Don't worry, you smell fine...if you smelled bad I would have told you [claw]
HB8: Haha, yeah
B: When girls smell bad they have like a yellow mist all around them it's gross
Me: Yeah picture having NIMBUS, but opposite
HB8: Haha, nimbus?
Me: Like have you ever been to Wal Mart? That's how terrible girls can smell...
HB8: OH. MY. GOD. I can't stand wal-mart...
Me: why do you work there? hey you're kind of cool you can be our friend for the next minute we'll try you out
HB8: [Melting like an M&M]: :-D

Her friend pulls her away. She's kind of trashed and we're still talking to those other girls anyway. I open another set from my seat...

Me: Hey could you please tell B to stop being mean to girls?
Them: Uhm. what? *smiles* Who's B? 
Me: Yeah he's being mean tonight, tell him to stop

The girls walk away. Whatever. B and I are laughing our asses off...

Anyway, long story short, we go nuts for like another half an hour and we decide to call it quits after I open a set that had previously blown out B. They opened and hooked fine. I was talking nonsense, like "hey do you work out? is she your spotter at the gym like does she yell at you when you benchpress..." and it was hooking. Unbelievable

In summary - and to wrap this shit up - I've moved back to the point where I can hook pretty consistently and get in state by myself and be self-contained throughout the night (despite 'blow outs'). Now I need to start escalating, which given the fact that I hug girls at random already, shouldn't be too hard.

In more practical terms, B had tons of fun and agreed to come out with me next week. I kinda REALLY want to tell him about all this RSD stuff (he knows some shit about it), but I don't know if I should pop his cherry. Any suggestion?

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Senior Member

Join Date: 12/11/2007 | Posts: 151

Alright, so looking back on the last couple of nights I've understood my problem.

There WERE girls at the places, they were just there with GUYS aka 'mixed sets.' These are still an 'issue' for me because I've never done them.

So, on that note, I will approach at least 3 mixed sets next three nights I go out. I need to get over this paradigm in the next couple of weeks or it's gonna kill me once I get back to school...
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