THE FORUMS

March 26th, 2017
I will no longer defend myself
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Mr. Fantasy

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/24/2008 | Posts: 202

This means:

When someone is trying to make fun of me, I will not get defensive and try to quickly think of the perfect comeback for them. When guys make lame attempts to lower my self esteem or when dumb jappy girls make snide remarks while holding their blackberrys, I WILL NOT CHANGE OR JUSTIFY MYSELF. People will test me for congruence all the time, but if I am unapologetic and I accept myself completely, nothing anyone says will ever matter. As a natural consequence of not giving a shit people will accept my behavior.

The people who are fun to be around are the ones who mainain good emotions in the face of criticism and other stupid bullshit.
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#1

Shazam!

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/01/2008 | Posts: 1295

Good thread!  I likey..   It's one thing about knowing about this shit, it's a whole other thing to change habits.  I'm with ya on this one.
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#2
Daniel

Daniel

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/10/2008 | Posts: 1943

Mr. Fantasy wrote:
This means:

When someone is trying to make fun of me, I will not get defensive and try to quickly think of the perfect comeback for them. When guys make lame attempts to lower my self esteem or when dumb jappy girls make snide remarks while holding their blackberrys, I WILL NOT CHANGE OR JUSTIFY MYSELF. People will test me for congruence all the time, but if I am unapologetic and I accept myself completely, nothing anyone says will ever matter. As a natural consequence of not giving a shit people will accept my behavior.

The people who are fun to be around are the ones who mainain good emotions in the face of criticism and other stupid bullshit.
This is gayyyyyyy, you're going crazy man. If you don't defend yourself, you're stupid.
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#3

Shazam!

Trusted Member

Join Date: 10/01/2008 | Posts: 1295

Daniel wrote:

Mr. Fantasy wrote:
This means:

When someone is trying to make fun of me, I will not get defensive and try to quickly think of the perfect comeback for them. When guys make lame attempts to lower my self esteem or when dumb jappy girls make snide remarks while holding their blackberrys, I WILL NOT CHANGE OR JUSTIFY MYSELF. People will test me for congruence all the time, but if I am unapologetic and I accept myself completely, nothing anyone says will ever matter. As a natural consequence of not giving a shit people will accept my behavior.

The people who are fun to be around are the ones who mainain good emotions in the face of criticism and other stupid bullshit.
This is gayyyyyyy, you're going crazy man. If you don't defend yourself, you're stupid.
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#4
Deft

Deft

Trusted Member

Join Date: 06/16/2008 | Posts: 2040

Sounds like you are having a hard time there, but i have got to admit you are seeking their aproval by not giving a fuck, i would focus on feeling good, being present, and take it easy.
Good luck
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#5

nunez

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/14/2006 | Posts: 214

Deft wrote:
Sounds like you are having a hard time there, but i have got to admit you are seeking their aproval by not giving a fuck, i would focus on feeling good, being present, and take it easy.
Good luck
Reminds me of the quote: 
“If you want the truth to stand clear before you, never be for or against. The struggle between ”for“ and ”against“ is the mind’s worst disease.” -Sent-Ts'an
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 “When you decide to choose possibility, when you decide to choose to open yourself up - to be coming aware and exposed to and available to all that is possible in every moment of your life. Literally like this, for you anything will be possible. And there’s people that spend 20, 30, 40 years of their life, trying to find this moment. This single moment where they realize that anything truly is possible. Where they can be anyone, having anything and yet they need nothing. Because they’re complete already like this. They are whole like this. And some people refer to this as Enlightenment. And it’s simply an awareness, a way of thinking that’s different from what most people use. Because most people think completeness and wholeness resides somewhere outside of themselves. That it’s waiting for them out there. If only they did the right things, if only they knew the right stuff, if only they met the right people then their lives could be complete; then they could be whole. And yet everything begins from within.” ~Joseph Riggio
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#6
djtetsu

djtetsu

Senior Member

Join Date: 03/29/2009 | Posts: 263

[/b]
nunez wrote:

Reminds me of the quote: 
“If you want the truth to stand clear before you, never be for or against. The struggle between ”for“ and ”against“ is the mind’s worst disease.” -Sent-Ts'an
that's some profound shit.

anyways, I just want to add to this that I've found it almost bizzare that I don't get these anymore or I'm just completely unaware of this shit happening to me.

I used to get them, dwell on them, trying to prepare the perfect come back for next time, but best way to deal with this is shifting your focus onto other things.

This is a bit of taking what you want from the movie The Secret, which has a bit of a twisted view of the world but disgarding anything "supernatural" in the movie, it has a great lesson on staying focused on positivity and what you want out of life.  Basically... this puts all b.s. in the background.
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#7
Dick Gallo

Dick Gallo

Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/13/2008 | Posts: 1947

The act of allowing yourself to be 'vulnerable' is when you become 'invulnerable.'

Good shit.
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#8

Zuek

Junior Member

Join Date: 01/14/2009 | Posts: 12

Mr. Fantasy wrote:
This means:

When someone is trying to make fun of me, I will not get defensive and try to quickly think of the perfect comeback for them. When guys make lame attempts to lower my self esteem or when dumb jappy girls make snide remarks while holding their blackberrys, I WILL NOT CHANGE OR JUSTIFY MYSELF. People will test me for congruence all the time, but if I am unapologetic and I accept myself completely, nothing anyone says will ever matter. As a natural consequence of not giving a shit people will accept my behavior.

The people who are fun to be around are the ones who mainain good emotions in the face of criticism and other stupid bullshit.

This is a good first step, but honestly you are going to have to defend yourself from time to time. After experience some time of never defending yourself you will probably learn when it is fitting to do something about it. Girls will try you sometimes and want to see if you will stand up and be a man, knowing the difference between when you need to put her in her place and when you should blow it off will come with experience.
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#9
Neil

Neil

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/29/2009 | Posts: 551

Don't let their abuse affect you. However, you can't NEVER defend yourself. Sometimes you have to.
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#10
Deft

Deft

Trusted Member

Join Date: 06/16/2008 | Posts: 2040

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