THE FORUMS

December 6th, 2016
Meditation in a bookstore: INSPIRATION over INFORMATION
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Hamlet

Hamlet

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Join Date: 12/08/2008 | Posts: 589

I was in a bookstore today looking for a birthday present for a friend. I thought of giving her something out of the self-help section, since she often comes to me for advice and complains that she's not as "zen" as I am. I've already given her The Power of Now which she really liked, so I thought it would to her good to get some more Truth hammered into her.

However, as I approached the self-help section of the bookstore something peculiar happened. Seeing all the spiritual titles and their covers depicting serene landscapes I was filled with a sense of... almost disgust. I felt heavy at the thought of reading yet another one of those books cover to cover, filled with steps, techniques, mindsets, etc etc. I picked up a Tony Robbins book and felt a similar heaviness as I flipped through the table of contents detailing chapters on how to overcome fears and the power of certain self-hypnotic techniques.

Don't get me wrong here. Self-help material has helped me extraordinarily over the past three years. I wouldn't be who I am today without it. However, I feel I have now reached a saturation point where no more INOFRMATION can possibly help me. Different gurus will present the same basic principles in slightly different packaging, with various degrees of associated magic pill-marketing. But nothing I read from this moment on will give me that "aha"-moment that propels me past all my troubles and into pure blissful existence. It simply takes hard work and I have more than enough theory in my head to help me get there. From this point on it's just persistence, patience, trusting the process, letting go. The very idea of reading yet another book asking me to repeat some mantra first thing in the morning, or to make a list of my primary and secondary goals in life, or visualising this that or the other, just makes me feel ill. At this stage, such advice would do me more harm than good. What I need - and what I think most people on this forum need - is to strip away all the concepts we have circling around our minds, not add more of them.

There are three main problems with self-help. 

Problem #1
Most of the advice we read, we do not follow. For instance, if you read a book that asks you to make a list of goals and read it each night before going to bed, chances are pretty slim that you'll actually follow that advice and not give up somewhere along the way. We simply cannot sustain that level of discipline most of the time. People do not seem to realise that a commitment like reading a list of goals before bed EVERY night is actually a HUGE undertaking. It's immense. You'll be able to keep it up for a week. Maybe even a month. But 12 months? How about 12 years? If you can sustain it for 12 years then whatever the goal is that you have written down, it's something that TRULY matters to you, and you're getting your motivation and leverage not from some self-help book you read over a decade ago which asked you to THINK up a list of goals off the top of your head. No, the type of determination that keeps your internal compass dialed for 12 long years comes from a much deeper place than thought. That shit is intimately tied up with what your BEING. Your reason for being here on this Earth. Most of us would only need the information contained in 2 or 3 self-help books TOPS. That's it. From that moment on, regardless of which book you happened to read (assuming it's not complete garbage), you've pretty much got the practical tools needed for success. After that, it's up to you.

For the purposes of becoming successful with women, if you've read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, Mastery by George Leonard, and watched the Blueprint DVDs, you're pretty much set in terms of learning success with women. The only reason you would ever need to read anything else is if you had FULLY IMPLEMENTED the teachings in these materials and concluded that they did not help you. How often is that the case?

Problem #2
Most of us don't need more information. Information, by its very nature, is what's holding you back. It keeps your brain churning through concepts, analyzing events, self-monitoring, and it keeps you in your head. Most spiritual texts will point to certain paradoxical truths, such as fully accepting suffering in order to transcend it. These types of teachings can't be understood by the mind. They simply can't. The mind is the problem, not the solution. Reading more self-help, with more concepts, mantras, affirmations, etc. etc. will add MORE thought, not remove it. Even if those concepts WERE to help you achieve your goals, then once you've achived them, your mind will start looking for the next big thing which will bring you fulfilment, as most successful people will attest to. 

Once you understand that freedom comes from LETTING GO, completely relinquishing every thought and emotion, as well as your physical body, to God/Existence/Being/the Tao/the Now/whatever you wanna call it, then there's nothing left but long hard practice, stripping away your Self, layer by layer.

Problem #3
As soon as you create a concept in your mind based on the information you read in a self-help book, you start monitoring yourself to see whether or not you're making progress towards some higher self to be achived in the future. If you DON'T make (fast enough) progress, you become frustrated. If you DO make progress, you tend to form an ego around your new skill, which momentarily throws you back down. This is of course the MAIN pitfall that most pickup artists will have to live through again and again as their skills improve - they reach a new level, they get all excited and try to validate their new identity, which makes them outcome dependent, and they crash back down. This is alright - it's PART of the process. However, the more "do this", "don't do that" type of advice you digest, the more stuff you provide your mind with to latch onto along the way and create an identity out of. You can EVEN create an identity out of being a flawless natural with women, at which point the woo and the intent and the self-amusement will cease to be natural. They will become elusive concepts in your head that you desperately STRIVE for. And desperately striving is not attractive. At all. Ciaran once wrote a post on "red herrings", which are goals that you cannot reach by grasping for them. Attraction is one of them. If you try too hard to gain attraction from a woman, it will elude you. On the other hand, if you LET GO of the outcome and stop caring about whether she's attracted or not, attraction will come to you. The mind cannot understand this paradox. It will flip it on its head over and over again, and try to STRIVE for LETTING GO of the outcome so as to secretly get that attraction that it really wants. Then, once it understands that, it will TRY to STOP STRIVING for LETTING GO of the outcome and so on and so on, creating layer upon layer of needy striving. Only through transcending the mind can you finally grasp a red herring - at which point it won't really matter that much to you. Bruce Lee's advice is to "Be water, my friend." He didn't say "Try your best to be like water, my friend." No, he said "Be water". Don't REACH for it. Just be it. Water isn't TRYING to be water. It just is. Similarly, if you TRY to be attractive, sex-worthy, alpha, etc. etc. then you are missing the point. You must stop trying and allow what is in your nature to come to you NATURALLY. The most effective way I have found to let all my natural qualities out is through doing what Tolle says: feeling my inner body and surrendering all my thoughts to God. Choose whatever method of letting go works for you.


Completely letting go of the outcome leads you to a place where no result truly matters. Reading goals before bed, repeating affirmations, etc. etc. becomes a game - not some life-or-death struggle. It is what Tolle calls "playing with form". You become successful with women not because you HAVE to, but because you enjoy PLAYING with the beautiful forms that we call women - their energy, their laughter, sharing love, eating pussy, etc. You don't get that hollow feeling in your chest when you're reminded of how many concepts you have yet to internalise, such as "outcome independency", "self-amusement", or "sex-worthiness". These things are all fine - they're part of the game. In the end, being sex-worthy isn't going to make you complete. Getting a lot of sex isn't something you NEED. Even when you're slugging away in the field, getting blowout after blowout, you realise that this is ALSO playing with forms. It is a kind of epic story which would make for a great, inspiring tale many years from now: You, in the trenches, against the night. The highs and the lows add depth to your existence. You are experiencing LIFE in its many facets. The bad nights aren't just acceptable because you can learn something from them. No, that is still an outcome dependent mindset. True, you CAN learn something from bad nights, but learning is itself part of the bigger game. What matters is that bad nights are what MAKE the game fun, challening, worthwhile. It's not a walk in the park. It's fucking tough! But who would wanna see a movie about someone who tried to achieve a goal and never had  a setback along the way? Instead of looking for the straightest path towards some destination, see the game in its entirety - with successes, setbacks, periods of learning, periods of not learning anything, periods of forgetting, periods of despair, periods of elation, periods of wondering what the fuck is wrong with you, periods of wishing you had never gotten into this thing in the first place.... This all makes for a JUICY life story, oh yes! What I love about RSD isn't just the great information that is provided. It's the INSPIRATION that I get from the instructors' writings, their seminars, their stories from glorious nights out. Take Alex's rambling blog entries from Iceland and Norway for example. FUCKING EPIC! Regardless of what useful piece of pickup advice you might glean from these passages, they are fundamentally inspiring and cool in their own right. That guys is truly living life to the hilt!

So, as I stood there in the bookstore letting the above realisations sink in, I left the self-help section and walked over to the inormation desk and asked a guy there to recommend some fiction - something fantastic, magical, surreal, funny - something INSPIRING. The guy behind the counter recommended a few books, among htem number9dream by David Mitchell and Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. After years of devouring course literature and self-help material It felt amazing to hold these books in my hands - FICTION! Stuff that's not meant to convey a bunch of important information! Stuff that's not just some means to an end - but an end in itself! Stuff that doesn't need to be APPLIED towards some important goal, such as getting a university degree or becoming a superhuman or anything else. It's just there for entertainment and inspiration. You read it for the sake of a good story - to feel moved, to allow great writing to TOUCH you. This is the only self-help I need at this stage - the kind of stuff that puts a smile on my face, makes me laugh out loud, makes me cry, makes me scared - makes me lose my SELF in the book.

I wrapped both novels up in pretty paper, wrote a nice card, and walked over to the park where my friends were waiting. Even though I wasn't buying the books for myself, just holding them in my hands had inspired me tremendously. On my way to the park I gazed with wonder at the tall trees lining the road, their leaves rustling in the wind full of life, their glossy texture like shining gold under the sun. Those leaves don't care about self improvement! They're just dancing along - swaying to and fro - like water! A state of intense joy envoloped me and I felt like I had suddenly propelled myself into a new state of consciousness - one where I had surrendered any need for outcome or achievement and I was just floating along, playing my part in the game. Of Life!

I'll leave you with something quite inspiring by Alan Watts:
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#1
violalee

violalee

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Join Date: 11/17/2008 | Posts: 221

Great post, really resonated with me.
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#2
Hamlet

Hamlet

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Join Date: 12/08/2008 | Posts: 589

Cool, glad you liked it.

Although in hindsight the last paragraph sounds really really really gay. But that's okay.
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#3
active

active

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Join Date: 04/22/2008 | Posts: 17

This post means much more than the words it contains.

This reminds me of Siddhartha. In the act of seeking "perfection", we become scattered. 


 "When someone seeks it can easily happen that his eyes only see the thing he is seeking and that he is incapable of finding anything, incapable of taking anything in, because he is always only thinking about what he is seeking, because he has an object, a goal, because he is possesed by this goal. seeking means having a goal, but finding means being free, open, having no goal. Perhaps you, venerable one, are indeed a seeker, for in striving for your goal, there is much you fail to see that is right before your eyes."


The act of hording books on the subject can be the most detrimental thing you can do. The ego hijacks the quest for improvement, enlightment and INTERNAL validation and projects it OUTWARDS. 
So in this way,the quest to UNCOVER your true being, you can become BURIED and inundated with the very information that is there to help you because they have been transformed into OBJECTS we strive for. 

Sometimes it takes looking at an eternal truth from a hundred different perspectives for understanding to enter. I am guilty of reading quite a bit on the subject of "self improvement" and it really inspires me to see how all of them are connected, and validating each other to a Truth. Bypass the ego's involvement by following the sign posts rather than clinging to them.

As Bruce Lee said it, "DONT THINK. FEEEEL. It is like a finger pointing away to the Moon. Don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that Heavenly GLORY."  :slap:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDW6vkuqGLg

Great post, man.
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#4
Showcase

Showcase

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Join Date: 07/30/2009 | Posts: 604

The reason why people have most of these problems in the first place is through thinking to much, different thoughts can't do much better.  I think meditation and green tea are a lot closer to the answer then the laundry list of concepts we float on.  The bottom line of this community - Just Do It, the rest is irrelevant.   Great post.
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#5
Mathias!

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Join Date: 06/10/2007 | Posts: 760

Fucking good stuff in here, so much. Good post. And obviously one at that that only ppl with a lot of field experience will relate strongly with.

I know what Nathan would say. Be your own guru.

When you get started, there is the novelty of learning and just fucking aligning your head in the right direction. Then as you learn more, there is a certain "thrill" associated with new insights, new concepts - that makes sense. That has value, to the mind - which makes them into mind stuff. But you don't know that, and don't question it - as it is "better" than what you had before.

You hit the field and experiment with all the concepts, get more experience. Find out what works for you. Try more. More more more. Enthusiasm, but most of it goes into ego and thus there is reactivity. The fun guy.

Then as you hit the field hard, and you get beat down enough to fucking learn for real - you start finding out that less is more. That experience trumphs anything. That the more you remove, the better you are off. Ego starts melting. Reverse movement begins. The begining of wisdom.

Then later, as all this deepens and your ego is reduced, "game" all fuses into one thing. Full reduction, but still everything "is there". They are not concepts anymore. There is only you, and you are instead radiating all the good things - that can be observed as concepts. Inner and outer game merges into almost the same thing. You can do "less" and still get good results.

Of course, all this is not linear. Fucking complex, loops and bounds, back and forth in six dimensions lap after lap.

However, at some point there comes a point in all of this when you realize that all you ever need is inside you. And thus, also the answers you need. This is when you truly start to lead yourself. The begining of self reliance. You now start learning again from scratch, but now from a place of a lot more inner power. You are still responsive and open to new ideas. However, you fully based on your own first hand experience in evaluating and guiding yourself forward on whatever path you have chosen.

I don't know if it ever "ends". I don't think so. Life is open ended.

Now for the important stuff.

In leading yourself, you still have to ask the right questions. This is a whole big deal in itself. You have to know when to ask and what they are. If you don't ask, things might go unnoticed. And you won't know what your options are. And what those options mean to you. Self discipline and continuity. Visiblity - Inspection - Adaption.

You have to look at yourself on a regular basis including looking at things important in your life. Then you have to know how to evaluate and make corrections. Asking the right questions is an important part of this. Most ppl limit themselves a lot, just by not knowing about or even considering options that very much available to them. If you know yourself, know your options and what they really mean to you deep down - then you can find a purposeful path, and you will then live life in a state of leading joy - which means a deeply rooted congruent and creative giving of your gifts into this world. You may grow and your life situation may grow with you and in alignment. Lose this "process", and there will be "pain" and incongruencies within who you are and how you live your life.

Nobody is perfect. Perfection is an illusion, an ideal at best.

The paradoxes of learning natural game you point to are a serious royal mind fuck. They actually funny in hindsight - but NOT when you are in the middle of it. Then they fucking suck. But I like what you wrote about that. Solid stuff. When I read that I thought about something I heard Tolle mention somewhere. You have probably heard it, but still.

You can not try to get success. You can only welcome it into your life. There is a lot of depth to that.

Anyway, good stuff man! I'm rambling a bit, but I guess I just liked some things in what you wrote and responded. See you soon... !
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Get in the FIELD guys

Nathan BC Alum
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#6
De Reet Sap Rammer aka De Reet Thalys met 1986 kpu

De Reet Sap Ram...

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 Nice fcking post my friend. Very nice. 
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#7

Viktor-

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Join Date: 04/29/2007 | Posts: 520

Cool post mate! The thing is when i read all those self help books and included blueprint... i actually dont think about those concepts soo much, I USED to do it in the beginning.. but it is like more i feel the vibe coming out...
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#8
Gseus

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Yeah, great post again!


Although I'd like to add that while at the end of the day, we don't need anything, at first it might be necessary to read more and more books by different people.

Tolle, Blueprint and Mastery did much for me even the first time I read/watched them. But I still didn't get "it" at first. They're all pointing in the same direction, but each from a different perspective, from the personal perspective of the writer. And while in every one of them, there were many signposts that worked for me, there are also many things in there which again put new layers on top, because they are not dealing with what's holding me back, but another person.
So I had to read many different things by different people, let them sink in, work with them, to find things that would click with ME, because their writers had been at similar stages as me, and which helped me discard the things that will never be useful for me. Until I finally realized what they are all pointing at, "it". And from now on, it's an absolutely personal journey, just as you describe it.
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#9

CuriousUno

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Join Date: 07/03/2008 | Posts: 294

 So what's your lay count Hamlet?
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#10
AÎM HÎGH

AÎM HÎGH

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Join Date: 07/25/2008 | Posts: 577

CuriousUno wrote:
 So what's your lay count Hamlet?

Curious....You are truly a troll in the 1st degree.
 
If you wasn't just some profile on the tinternet, I would challenge you to a duel by slapping you roung the face with my pink latex pimp glove.

Nice post. Thanks Hamlet.
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