October 24th, 2016
A Text Message Edumacation- Chris's Text Message Reports
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Join Date: 12/20/2008 | Posts: 49

So I been doing a lot of text messaging later and having various degrees of success. I would like to post some of them here for evaluation and educational purposes. Please give feedback

I am still looking for a program to take them off my phone...but until then I will start with some off of Facebook

"B" from Cali: I met this girl several months ago at a bar in DC. I went really direct on her...this got super sexual that fast but I couldn't pull her and unfortunetely she was going back to CALi the next day. I kept in contact through phone, text, and facebook. She is a freak! We have had many detailed text convos. This is the latest on Facebook.

Couldn't retrieve chat history
3:53pm B

naughty girl

3:54pm B
it's hot


3:55pm B
my naughtiness...

I know...

If you showed up on a free porn site, I would definitely click through

3:57pm B
oh thanks


I'd like to dedicate this boner to you

3:58pm B
is this an official dedication?


3:59pm B
becasue i have never been officially dedicated a boner

well heres a first

THIS oneeeee issss tooo YOUUUUUUUU babbbeeeeeeee


4:01pm B
i am honored... truely

4:02pm B
i wish i could present something to you in return but i am in class right now

4:03pmChris what

I hope it's a BJ

you know BJ's are like flowers for men

jk ;0P

4:03pm B
but over the last week i have had many night time rubs in your honour

i like that bj are like flowers for men

good analogy

So I'm assuming that u have dedicated many of ur orgasms to me?

That is an honor...did u almost squirt?

4:06pm B
if you were hthere i probably would have


B You're hot enough for me to expand my dating profile location radius...just want u to know that

4:09pm B
so i am coming to dc at the end of april

Nice for how long?

4:13 pmChris

sorry mini meeting

all goooood

4:27pm B
so i am coming on the 26 and staying unitl the 10


U can catch plenty of my loads

we can have a lot of fun

4:31pm B
yeah i really want to meet up

u excited?

4:33pm B
yeah really really excited

hmm...good...I am practicing the shocker for u


anyways gotta run..later...think of me

sexually of course....

4:37pm B
okay c ya
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Join Date: 12/20/2008 | Posts: 49

Ok I had something weird happen to me yesterday. I received a text from a girl I met last week at Chi Cha lounge from a girl named R. I had been texting her back and forth for a while but she really surprised me one early morning. Here is our conversation from the beginning to end over several days.

ME: Meow
Her: I have no idea who this is
ME: Chris from Chi-CHa ..remember you wouldn't let me leave without getting my number?
Her: r u?;-)
Me: (Can't remember what I said her the text was deleted in the thread of my phone)

(Dead Air)

Next Day

ME: What's Cuter..a mini pony or a giant Kitten?
Her:Hmmmmm good question...I think a small pony....a giant kitten would be weird
ME: Interesting...that says a lot about you...are u adventurous?
Her: What does it say about me? I think I'm pretty adventurous ;-)
ME: Really....what's the most adventurous thing that you've ever done
(No response)

Next Day
ME: Hey I'm luring girls back to my house with you prefer skittles or M&M's?
Her:M&Ms....why do you ask these type of question? ;-) btw, I walked 400 ft up in the air on a canopy bridge in Africa...that was pretty adventurous 2 me ;-)
ME: IT's Fun ;o) Holy Shit! That is a canopy one of those really unstable bridges like in the Indiana Jones movies? UR Wiiiilld? (Framing her sexually)
(No Response Dead Air)

So heres where it gets weird. So I didn't put the times but these previous texts were reallly spread she took long periods of time to respond...I did kind of seem unneedy or whatever. But when I met her I didn't have a lot of time to build much comfort so I barely know her and the number close did not seem that solid. Also, as you can see in the text messages..she doesn't appear to be that into the text convo...but she is responding. So this morning(yesterday now) around 4:40 AM I was just about to slip into bed after a night out in the field and she texts me......

NEXT MORNING @ like 4:40AM

Her: Yep- a canopy bridge is a really narrow bridge that hangs high in the air from trees...I don't kno if I'm wild..but I like 2 take chances;-)
Me: Exhilirating...Oh my ur up late! I just laid my head on my pillow( I literally did at that time). What were u up to tonight naughty girl?
Her: Ur the one who's up late ;-), but my kid woke me I need someone to put me back 2 sleep....

(This caught me by surprise)

ME: I could help u with that
HEr: U gonna read me a bedtime story?;-)
ME: Nope...U won't need one of those...guess again
HER: Hmmmm....some lullabye music?;-)
ME: IT would be rhythmic I guess
Her: WoW...It sounds interesting
Me: If u could have what u needed right in this moment....anything...what would it be?
Her: And maybe a lik sumthin else...;-)
Me: If u could have what u needed right in this moment....anything...what would it be?
Her: U didn't get my response?
Her: Being held in the arms of a man who cares about me....

(What is this like a massive shit test....I was not prepared for that)

Her: And maybe a lil sumthin else.....;_)
Me: Hmmmm....I would be lying if I said I did...I barely know u...but I'm sure u are someone I COULD care about...damn u went all deep on me girl

(DId I fail the test?I'm thinking maybe I should have done a takeaway or teased her instead of getting all logical and stuff...I just didn't feel it would have been appropriate given the circumstances)

Her: I don't expect u 2 care...but u did ask if I could have anthing I needed n that's what I need ;-)...what I want is a whole diff story....
Me: Well then...if u could have anything u this moment....within reason...what would u request?

(Did I buy into her frame??)

Her: In that case...I barely kno u n don't kno if I shld divulge such info...but ur someone I COULD share that with eventually.....;-)

(Damn...reversed the frame on me? The sucky thing is I gave her the leeway to do so...she used my own words against me...she was looking for plausible deniability and I think I engaged her logical mind..)

Me: HAha..naughty girl...I would WANT to access ur thoughts right now...
Her: I 'm sure u would...there's a lot 2 access..n some of it is definetely naughty
Me: I bet some of them are...u got those bad girl eyes...I bet ur fun
Her: I try 2 be ;-)...what makes my eyes "bad girl" eyes? Never heard this one before...
Me: By looking at them I pick up that sense of devilish ur sort of quiet but u just like to really let yourself go when u
Me: meet someone ur fascinated by and attracted really gets u excited
Me: U keep most of ur sexuality bottled up..until someone comes along to twist the cap...
(no response dead air)

SO I am really confused about this convo. I think this girl just woke up horny and was possibly hoping I would say all the right things so she would create a reason to sleep with me. I don't know...she really caught me by surprise...I'm upset I failed becuase I believe this could have resulted in a lay that I WASN'T supposed to get...instead I might have just screwed it up period...we'll see how it goes.

Any feedback would be appreciated thanks.
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Join Date: 12/20/2008 | Posts: 49

Ok Here's my text convo with " E" who I met @ Pure when I was in Vegas for the conference. I had a good chance of closing her that night if the logistics weren't fucked up. Anyway, we had been texting back and forth for a while almost every other day. She was kind of distant at first but she's becoming attracted again.

HB 7 Asian from Vegas- OC

Over Text Message:

Me: I think I'm pregnant
Her: well take care of it...
ME:I knew it! All u wanna do is party and get drunk at the karaoke bar! What are we gonna do with this baby??
Her:-'re trippin!
ME:I don't even have your facebook! We gotta work this child support out somehow
Her: What? I don't even know if it's mine.....
Her: What's ur last name...i'll add u on fb. I'm sorry...the last comment was hurtful
Me: (Contact info)
He: Nice profile pic


Some of the dialogue got lost. I started off pretty wack fucking up a bunch with some weird shit but I think my texts started to get better towards the end. Please give me feedback guys.

Couldn't retrieve chat history
8:28pm Chris

so nasty

8:28pm "E from OC"

yea it's like i look at you and you're preggers
8:28pm Chris

ok im over it...I will never mention it again...yuck


8:29pm "E from OC"

you would be FREAKIN if this conversation was in reverse


Idunno...we would make cute babies

8:29pm "E from OC"


ur freakin me

8:29pm Chris


that was my intention

8:30pm "E from OC"

8:30pm Chris

I'm not having kids till i'm like in my 40's hopefully

8:30pm"E from OC"

well it won't be wit me then.

8:30pm Chris

Imma have like 15 baby mamas

U got any kids?

8:30pm "E from OC"

oh i c



8:31pm Chris



how old are u again 47?
8:32pm "E from OC"


i said




8:32pm Chris

8:32pm "E from OC"

or 26
8:33pm Chris

so ur like a cougar or something praying on us young men

I think ur 31

8:33pm "E from OC"




: /

8:33pm Chris

8:33pm "E from OC"

not funny.


thats what u get for playing I can assume anything I want

8:33pm "E from OC"

8:34pm Chris

so what are u mixed with?

let me guess

8:34pm "E from OC"

8:34pm Chris

Pakistan/ Zimbabweeian

8:34pm "E from OC"


u got it

8:34pm Chris


I'm so perfect with this kind of stuff

8:34pm "E from OC"

8:34pm Chris

first got the age right now this...I'm on a roll

no seriously

where u from sweety?

8:35pm "E from OC"

i'm american


8:36pm Chris

American what? Ur American and what?

8:37pm "E from OC"


i'm half korean/hungarian

but i get mextrican

8:38pm Chris

yeah I remember u telling me that actually

8:38pm "E from OC"

8:38pm Chris

u know whats funny

8:38pm "E from OC"

8:38pm Chris

a mutual friend of mines was convinced that I am Korean by me

He didn't believe me

and I made him feel bad

for stereotyping my people

8:40pm "E from OC"


why am i not surprised chris?

8:41pm Chris

yeah it's been going on for like 4 months

he's like...u don't look Korean...u don't have like chinky eyes...I'm like...that's really offensive

8:41pm "E from OC"


bad boy

8:42pm Chris

I'm beginning to think he is racist towards my people

too much fun

Let's embrace this moment of akwardness

8:43pm "E from OC"


8:43pm Chris

8:43pm "E from OC"

it's okay i'm used to homophobic racisms

8:43pm Chris

Hey I went to ur Myspace

8:43pm "E from OC"

8:43pm Chris

I really like that song on there

8:44pm "E from OC"


pink moon?

8:44pm Chris

the one that plays...yeah

Where can I illegally download it?

8:44pm "E from OC"


nick drake/pink moon

8:44pm Chris

oh u know about Torrent

u get 2 points

do u ever travel?

8:46pm Chris

woah that guys pretty popular..quite the discography

8:48pm "E from OC"

not much but i want to more in the near future

i might do eastern europe this summa

yea nick drake is huge deal

8:49pm Chris


it's a Cali thing?

8:49pm "E from OC"

no dude

it's a MUSIK thang

8:49pm Chris

oh werd?
8:49pm "E from OC"

if u are a musician u should kno

it's common sense.
8:49pm Chris

he's big like that
8:49pm "E from OC"


yea like dat...


hmm ok imma def check him sounded dope

on the opposite side of the spectrum

Mickey Avalon...u like?/

8:50pm "E from OC"

8:50pm Chris

I know he's kinda big over there

8:50pm "E from OC"

8:50pm Chris

8:50pm "E from OC"

he ain't that big over here...

8:51pm Chris

oh yeah?
8:51pm "E from OC"

he's a cobra snake kid

8:51pm Chris

what the hell does that mean?

8:51pm "E from OC"

very hollywood

hollywood "indie" i'm so super cool

because i wear eyeliner

and tight panks

8:51pmChris u find him hot?

8:52pm "E from OC"


i like men

8:52pm Chris

lol lol lol lol

8:52pm "E from OC"

the closer to a lumberjack da betta


well I'm close to a CAVEMAN

what doesn that mean to u


8:52pm "E from OC"

welll there u go

8:53pm Chris

I'll pick u up by ur hair

8:53pm "E from OC"

that's why i felt u up




imma drag u to my cave and do what Cavemen do

8:53pm "E from OC"

what do cavemen do?

8:54pm Chris

What Caveman do when they drag women to their Caves

8:54pm "E from OC"



8:56pm "E from OC"
i'm down

i mean

i guess i'll pretend that i'm not?

8:56pm "E from OC"

cool sorry I'm talking to my boy David on the phone


8:56pm "E from OC"

but i would be down


8:56pm Chris


yeah play hard to get lol

9:03pm Chris

U know why I like u?

9:03pm "E from OC"

because i'm 911

9:03pm Chris

yep that too

9:03pm "E from OC"


because i like mini ponies?

9:03pm Chris

u jerkey little ass lol


9:03pm "E from OC"

or because i knew about slot tab?

9:04pm Chris

oh yeah!!!

9:04pm "E from OC"

or bc i let u pull my hair

9:04pm Chris


bringing back memories of ur naughtyness

such a bad girl


I like the fact that u don't hold back whats on ur mind

9:05pm "E from OC"


are you saying i'm mental?


I find that SO attractive


9:06pm "E from OC"

that's one of those back handed compliments

9:06pm Chris

lol yep

ur a goofball

but a sexy goofball

9:07pm "E from OC"

9:07pm Chris

ur welcome goofy

lol I hate that word

why did I use it

9:08pm "E from OC"


why can't u just admit that i'm funny?

9:08pm Chris

ok ur funny


i gotta shower and get ready

later silly
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Join Date: 12/20/2008 | Posts: 49

Hey guys we have all this high velocity text material but how do you guys think I should keep the relationships going once you've closed the girl? I recently closed a girl I met several weeks ago and I'm trying to keep me in her thoughts so that we can continue our fling. Tell me what you think about this:

She had a hot picture of her on her facebook so I commented on it:

We're going to have to talk about the effect that your picture is having on the men's bathroom

the next day she texts me:

What does ur boys bathroom comment mean?

Me: Lol it means that men are pleasing themselves at the site of ur picture
Her: LOL O my!
ME: (Later) How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?
Her: 1...2...Bite...3!
Her: I like it when u talk dirty to me
ME: Really? Who said I was talking dirty to u? I was just curious...imma bout to buy a tootsie pop
and lick it until it cums...I mean melts...
Her: Ya...ok...w/u everything is dirty. But ok have fun w/that;)
ME: I will....hope ur day goes well...text me if u can't keep me out of ur thoughts
(no response dead air)

Ok heres the thing guys. I have fun being sexual with girls through text....I genuinly enjoy it. I do realize however, that sometimes I go to far with it. I'm not really a romantic dude...i don't know how to be without making it super how do I engage this girl without thinking sex is always on my mind...even though it is? I don't wanna scare her away...she already thinks I'm a freak and she is kind of conservative.
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Join Date: 12/20/2008 | Posts: 49

Ok I got a couple new TR's to post. I used the same Text re-opener on all of these girl except the first one and the last. I also used something new that a co-worker suggested. He mentioned something and I thought would be perfect as a sexual innuendo element. He said "what do u have that I can eat that has noooooo calories." I like this because it's vague and if she rejects it, I can deny it as u will see in the forthcoming texts(Rachel). The only thing is I forgot to use the nooooo calories part on 2 of the texts which kinda ruins it as it turns it a little more explicit. I used it in most of my texts as well.

Rachel HB 7.5

Me: You able to come out this weekend naughty girl?
(I'm always trying to frame her sexually because she's kind of reserved...she sometimes comes with elements of her own. Check the previous post she is " R" that I met @ Chi-Cha lounge)
Rachel:Whoa...thought u were done w/me;0). I think I shld be able to What's up?
(Haven't texted her in like 2 weeks)
Me: Oh not done with u'd need gatorade... Thinking maybe we'll meet up Fri. Or Sat. night..I'll be out both nights
(I got the Gatorade thing from Captain Jack but he uses it on his strawberry fields routine...she totally does't catch it thought)
Rachel: What will I need gatorade for?;0) I might be able to get out on Friday
Me: Aight I'll hit u up. We'll do Gazuza or something
Rachel: What's Gazuza? Never heard...
Me: It's like Chi Cha
Rachel:Oh ok...sounds cool
Rachel: btw, r u on facebook
Me: yeah Search _________
Rachel: Just sent ya a friend request. Saw ur page...U have good taste in music!
Me:Thanks...hmm taste. I'm so hungry right now. What do have that I can eat?
( Forgot to use the "nooooo calories part" which makes it sound more explicit than I intended and she calls my ass out on it but I deny it ;0))
Rachel: Oh man...not touchin that w/ a 10 ft. pole!;0)
Me: So I take it you don't cook then? U know the way to a man's heart is through his stomach right?
( I denied it and kinda of twisted it into a qualifier and she bites)
Rachel:Ohhh u were being 4 real? I though you were being fresh...absolutely...his stomach and some good....
( sounds like she is trying to be implicit at the end she was saying and some good....head or sex..This girl confuses me)
Me: Me? Fresh? look @ u thinking those pervy thoughts about me again...naughty girl..
(Framed her sexually again as the agressor)
Rachel: pervy thoughts over here ;0)
(She rejects but with a smiley face so I don't know if she's trying to be flirty or not...she's often smiley face-happy)
Rachel: And yes, I can cook...
(She qualifies herself to me. Don't know if I should have went dead air after this but I did. We'll see what happens)

E from Vegas SC

Me: Gorgeous, charming, funny, lovable...well enough about me what are u up to?
E: Just got outa yoga...about to eat a burrito
Me: Hmmm ur making me hungry...hey what can u make me to eat to eat that has noooo calories?
E: Do you have an eating disorder
(Misinterpretes or IOD's me...can't call it..either way my response is kinda lame)
Me:Yeah I eat everything I be careful...sometimes I can't control my urges
(Lame and too explicit? I thought she would bite anyways because we've had flirty convos before. This is the chick from Vegas that I almost pulled before I was fucked on logistics)
Her: Soup.
(I think she new what wassup but she rejected my frame and got all smarty-pants on me.)
(Dead Air)

M HB Fillipina

Me: Gorgeous, charming, funny, lovable...well enough about me what are u up to?
M:U r soooo funny. Shit im going to school. Wats up? how r u?
Me: @ work doing NO actual work...gotta feed all my baby mamas ya heard me!
(That was the best I could come up with in that moment)
M: U r so weird...pimp. lol
Me:Yes, a hungry pimp. What do u have that I can eat?
( FOrgot the noooo calorie...thus way to explicit)
(Dead Air)

Brandi Hb 7

Me: Gorgeous, charming, funny, lovable...well enough about me what are u up to?
Brandi:I am working in HAwaii
Brandi:ps-its 07:45 here
Me:Oh u poor thing...I'm sorry to hear that....u must be so miserable @ such and exotic
destination long u there for?
Brandi:haha...yes its just 4 more weeks
Me: Cool lets link up when u get back I'm beginning to forget what u look like
( I forgot who I got this from...Captain Jack? THe basic principle is that people are more willing to work towards not losing something than work towards gaining something...So I am basically trying to create a fear of loss)
Brandi:Well it will be 10 wks before I get home...I go to seatle after here
Me: K babe see u then
( Got lazy on this one...I think it was more the flow of a comfort only convo...I should have flirted more)
(Dead Air)

Michelle HB 6
Me: U work Friday?
Michelle:I work every weekday. Why do u ask? U don't actually want to meet up do u? I'm so used to your random texts. That would b a shocking next step for u
( Probably an indication that my texts were uncalibrated)
Me: I actually do! I wanna test out my honey I shrunk the kids machine on u..
Michelle: Ha, nice- I've always wanted to be pocket sized. Where are we meeting?
(This would have been a good opportunity to complete the line..." Yeah...then I could wrap u up in bubble wrap and slide u in there but I missed it oh well)
Me: Hmmm maybe like Front page-Dupont Thurs. or Fri night for some drinks?
Michelle: Thurs sounds good- front page works. What time?
Me: I've never been there before 10 but I think this week i 7:30?
Michelle:Haha- me either. Can we make it 8? Do u even remember what I look like? Lol.
Me: I was beginning to forget...8 sounds good
(Implementing the fear of loss principle again)
Michelle: I'll remind you on thurs;) see ya
( I think this is a decent IOI)

Stephanie HB 7

Me: Gorgeous, charming, funny, lovable...well enough about me what are u up to?
Stephanie: Haha nothin at all. Recovering. And yourself?
Me: Yeah I saw u at the meeting
Stephanie: You saw me? Huh?
Me: Yeah u were @ SAA recovering from ur boy addiction right?
( Sexual innuendo element)
Stephanie: Haha. Boy addiction? Nah. Too many drinks last night! No addictions.
Me: Denial is not just a river in Egypt....
(Edge element I believe)
Stephanie: You're on a roll today, now arentcha?!
Me: Hmmmm a roll...ur making me hungry...Feed ME! What can I eat that has Nooooo calories?
(I misinterpreted her comment and turned it into a sexual innuendo..I believe I finally did it right)
Stephanie: I could think of a few things.
(It seems like she takes the bait so I decided to push it a little bit and maybe bring it to the surface where it's a little bit more explicit)
Me: Hmmm I it juicy and fufilling....?
Stephanie: Very good possibility that it is.
(It seems like we're still on the same page so I try to play with it a little more)
Me: Will it melt in my mouth?
(Dead Air)
(Hmmm no response...maybe I took the convo way to explicit....maybe I should have release the tension? Maybe I could have said..." It's a grape! " and the transitioned into something else. Idunno.

Ok so I pretty much screwed all these text convos up but I don't think it's anything I can't recover from. Practice makes perfect!!!

I would appreciate if I could your opinions and suggestions on the these texts. Please let me know if I missed anything. Thanks Guys!
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