THE FORUMS

December 9th, 2016
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feet

feet

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/21/2006 | Posts: 329

I'm back in the game after being out for ~2 years after having a great gf (thanks RSD, and world). I felt the call, our spark had gone, and I yearned to be back out there. So now we're over and free. Win-win. :) Here's my reports, day after day, mostly for myself. I'm trying to get back to my glory days, and definitely improve. I'm a veteran of 2 boot camps (one with Geoff and twentysix and Tim [as beginning instructor] back in 2004 which lead to my first lay [LIFECHANGING] and some great moments afterwards. And another boot camp in 2007 with Jeffy, which was ALSO life-changing – the changes in me were more subtle, but much more dramatic in terms of my results and pushed me to reach new levels...). Now I'm back and pushing for more glory. We are truly privileged to learn this shit hahah

3rd April 2009:

First day back out. Went out after work, had 4 beers (1.7 STD drinks each) then went out to 4 or 5 bars (walked past 4 of them, went into one, Transport). I approached a 2 set, seated with “hi, how are you?... how's your night going”, but the fatty was a dragon “Yeah, good, but we're catching up, haven't seen each other in a while, plus don't feel like talking because the last guy who talked to us called us a slut”... etc. Her cute friend didn't seem to mind so I persisted in chatting, had a little laugh between my buddy saying we learned massage together. That was it. Left.

All up, a fizzler of a night. There were 2 chicks seated outside Charletons I could have opened. 2 chicks seated corner Russell St and China town, near billboards. And a group of 6 hotties I should have opened just for kicks.

Lesson: Don't ignore the voice in the back of your head that says don't approach. Always do it. Also, do it in high state, try and get that. And don't drink anymore – It fuddles your skills.

4th April 2009;

Finished work, met up with friend in line at transport, we jetted to the Nectar bar on swanston. First 4 set I see, in the corner, I walk up and chat. Ask how their nights going, it seems like they're having a party for some reason – everyone is in separate groups. They are all laughing into it (For no apparent reason, weird, but I notice this when an approach is especially solid).

One of the chicks is a cute blondie, with her hair tied back. But she's not that great. The other is an alright Asian who seems like she's slightly older. We chat about how I have a dog, and its like having a kid, and our jobs and annoying co-workers. Fun convo, pull up a chair and chat with my mate, as they one-by-one go to the toilet (being careful to leave 2 girls with us so we're not left alone). Good convo. Decide to leave since I wanted to find better options, felt like going to another bar. Maybe should have asked if they wanted to join us to another bar? Hmm. Altho I thought there'd be better sets later on.

Spend the rest of the night walking to various bars – not many good opportunities. I do see a couple 2 sets at transport, and loops, and elephant. But they weren't that hot at al;, and it was hard to open them because some of them were seated with no surrounding seats. Heh. But then after not approaching those relatively low-quality sets, there's nothing left so we stand around looking for something until we decide to go home, 2-3 hrs of this later.

Lesson: Literally, do the first set you see as you walk in, even if the chicks aren't that good... AND, if they are seated awkwardly, go up and approach anyway. Even if it puts you in a sticky situation. FUCK IT, its better than choding around talking with a mate not doing anything. I notice once a hot 2 set walked by and cause I was talkin to my mate I didn't stop and grab them. FUCK that shit.

Looking forward to tomorrow – Chapel St. Going to get a haircut tomorrow, and buy 3 new t shirts , maybe 1 collared shirt? to wear. Need to up my look, my style. It's so 2006. Fuck I love this shit so much. Its so rewarding. Really. One good night and you could meet an angel and if you're good change your and her life.

5th April 2009;

I'm pumped. New jeans, new shirt. Meet up with stevie and we hit up **** on chapel st. fantastic venue... hot chicks everywhere, and not too busy. Nice. I quickly get into the first set I see. 2 oldish chicks at the bar (learnt my lesson the other day). Hey how're u going? Small chat. Mention its my first time, they're regulars apparently. It's a little sloppy, they were waiting for drinks so they're half split. Chat a little more and eject as I'm not feeling it and the girls aren't good. SWEET, first one down.

As soon as I turn around I see one HOT brunette with nice tits in a red/black dress and her friend sitting on these red couches. I straight away pop down on the couches with 'hey guys, how's are you?' (note;: try introducing yourself too). What u guys celebrating?' A friends year of moving to Melbourne from Adelaide. Nice girls, the brunette is very into the convo, she leans right in and flexes her tits and rubs her legs, but her friend, the less hot blonde seems a little nervous. We have a good chat and my mate drops by with some beers.

Our convo splits, I'm sitting next to the blonde (unfortunately, hah), and we chat some more. She seems really happy when she's talking but when there's a convo lull she seems nervous and goes quiet. Convo was alright, should have done more kino, perhaps. Should have done trust test perhaps? Anything to get her open again.

The hot suggests some more drinks and the blonde goes to get them, the brunette goes “get some wet pussies” watching my reaction after saying it. And I act dumb, as a joke, “HUH?” looking at the hottie with a sly smile. She gets it and laughs hard. Damn she's fuckin hot, I think. We chat a lil' more, and they head off to their respective places. I would have got numbers with the brunette if I was sitting next to her and could chat some more but it wasn't solid enough.

We sit and chat, another 2 girls come and sit down opposite us. One chubbyish blonde and a nice looking latina girl who looks like a slightly chubbier version of Mila Kunis, that hot chick from the 70s show who's married to McCauley Caulkin. Chat a bit, the blonde asks where im from, a good indicator she's into me. But then they kinda die down. Sitting position was kinda shit. As we were opposite each other now.

Our friend can't get into this bar though, so we reluctantly leave. Fuck.

We roam around to go to another bar after waiting in line for ~30 mins? Or more? The places is kinda shit though. Some uglies and a couple hotties in groups. I choded out on a couple sets, lesson learnt again. You gotta be pushing yourself EVERYTIME. EVERYTIME you skip a set too quick to judge it you shoot yourself in the foot. This bar was a case of not getting into state and staling out for a while.

We then drive to the Espy in St kilda. I open a set of 2 hottie blondes. Kinda screwed it up with one though because I clawed her waist on entry and she kinda acted weird about it because I wasn't certain enough. I'm very confident and loud once the convo gets started tho and it goes well, we chat about what we do, our work. Its hard to hear though. Fuck, cute blondie though. My friends walk by and I try grab them to get them to help me out. But convo kinda splits off and I get distracted. We then bail to walk around more.

Lesson: be fully focused on what's going on. Stop being distracted by outside things – like lights flashing or people walking by. Be 100% focused on talking to them, and self amusing yourself.

I talk to a 6 set of chicks, its hard to hear in the loudness. I say hi to all of them but then they all kinda split off. Maybe have some routine to run at the start, with so many chicks seems harder to hold it. A couple walk away and I'm left with only a couple, then I let it slide and get out.
Had one other set, where I was just asking what the band in the hallway (which they were standing in) was, and this bitchy dragon blonde goes “I have no idea. Nobody cares, nobody cares” turning her back. Her male friend is nice and goes “Wow, that's not nice Sandra” or some shit and looks apologetically at me.

Lesson: I need to be more loud, more carefree about the outcome.

Things kinda die out after that. I see a nice fight outside, and another close-fight. Sweet. Then head home.

Lessons: Many small-medium lessons learnt. I'm starting to get back into the swing of things. One thing I notice is I'm a little in my head because I sometimes think I don't have anything more to say, which is bullshit. So I'm not in whoo state....Need to be more self-entertained, and less outcome orientated.

Tue, 7th April

Went out late, after work to the hawthorn with a mate. It was a toss up between the hawthorn and caseys....but went to the hawthorn instead. Long ass line. Long, long ass line. We wait in line for 35-40 mins and get the call “Full house”. Go home.

Lessons: go to nevermind bar, or caseys, or the glenferrie FIRST (only go to the hawthorn >10pm)

Wed, 8th April

Go out again, late, after work, with same friend as last night (non-pu guy, my friend just stands by watching the whole time, not saying anything the whole night. He's usually good when chatting himself, but he generally doesn't come out of his shell much on his own accord). I am determined to make tonight start off well: my goals are 1) to do first couple approaches at start, get into woo state, 2) to be LOUD with breaking rapport/neutral rapport voice, 3) do kino

First approach when I'm in, BANG, 2 girls standing near the door. I open loud. One chick, brunette with glasses is friendly and into it. Blonde, not so much. I guess I am too outcome dependent/interested, since I very aware of their reactions as I write this. Chat a little bit. Things going well chatting to both, but blondie pulls them away to go for drinks. I don't hold their attention well enough.

So quickly, go upstairs and do next approach, 2 girls in a group of 5-7. They are spread out and it is a walk-by approach, two blondes react nicely, talk, but after a while I leave, go to get some drinks. Need money, go to find an ATM, and end up asking 2 other chicks where one is.

Have drinks. Go downstairs talk to 2 hot brunettes. It's one's 18 year old b day, she's nice, big smile. The other ones a McDonald manager, which is cool with me. This is the best convo of the night. It's playful, strong. I can see the first 2 set brunette/blondie eyeing us, in the background, flirting now she sees us with these two hotter chicks. I'm not showing enough intent though – or having a purposeful hand. 3 or 4 fat chicks turn up, friends, they're nice. I chat a little but then leave intending to talk to them later.

Problem is, when I leave, my vibe goes down, and me and my friend end up choding out the rest of the night. It's fucked. I end up chatting with my buddy and leave.

Lessons: DON'T EJECT EARLY for no reason.... you can leave and come back later, sometimes, but don't leave when a mere obstacle pops up, that's fucked. Be more headstrong. Also, do KINO, you for got that. Talking louder is good, try go louder though. And watch your body language, don't lean in, have shoulders back. Try and go for woo state more – need to be more present.

Thurs, 10th April

Finish work, was planning to go out alone but instead meet up with mate who has friends with him, some female work friends. Haven't seen him for a while so I was eager to catch up. I meet up, we have some drinks at a nearby place. It's funny listening to how my mate now talks, with his full time job. He just got back from a worldwide trip, hooking up with backpackers and seeing the world – doing coke in south America, smoking weed over matchu pitchu, hand gliding in Brazil, hooking up with Japanese hairdressers, etc. Inspiring trip. I want to do one myself

But his workmate friend is very conservative. So when another group of people with a friend I recognise walks by and I yell “Hey Julian!” and he mentions a “valium night” we had in conversation, she goes to leave, breaking a chair in a rush to go.

My mate doesn't want to pick up though. He just wants to drink. I agree to compromise with him and do a couple sets then go to drink. We have shanghai dumplings at this awesome place on Russell street. But try getting into a couple places, but I'm wearing a polo shirt and their very tight with entrance. So we can't get in, go home and drink.

Lessons: Be insistent, go and do them. I learnt this lesson a couple years ago: Go out alone if need be, don't go out with friends if they're not up for it. You're better off, and not going to be distracted from your core purpose. If they just want to fuck around and drink, let them. You can go out and have fun on your own. It was good to catch up with my buddy though - we're going out tonight (Fri) and tomorrow though. Should be good.

Fri, 11th April

Went out with my buddy. But he was trying to get weed off his drug dealer, which turned out bad because the dude was somebody else and he suspected it was a cop, or someone funny. So he turned up late – I didn't go out before hand, just let it happen. (bad move)

So, when we went to chapel St tonight it was fuckin' shit. No good bars, at 11pm, to get into. Gotta go earlier, go on my own if need be, and try and get into the best place, just to try. Shit. Learning the lesson about friends again... I gotta be able to go out alone. Haha, I learnt this lesson 2 years ago, when I found that if I went out with my normal friends who didn't wanna do shit nothing would happen. We'd get distracted. End up going to some shit club or something. Or not going out at all. Go out with some liar buddies, or on your own.

Been reading a lot of eckhart tolle lately, to catch up on what's been going on in here lately. It's definitely a massive mind fuck for me – something I can totally relate to but haven't implemented yet. I have some questions about it – like trying to balance lifestyle problems / motivation challenges and staying 'present' – I guess I don't fully know the extent of this shit yet. I'll keep reading.
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Best dating coach for asskickers! My journal is here Current project; - 4 month going out everynight project with Gsaad (DONE) - Bootcamp sweden with Alex (DONE) - 8 month worldwide trip of glory (DONE) - Lifestyle balance (Beginning) Australia - Melbourne (MELBY) Crew 2010-2011
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#1
Papa

Papa

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 5292

Welcome back to the RSD Nation. It's great to have you back. The game as we teach it has evolved so much. Also, check out Tim's Video Blog if you haven't seen it:

http://www.flawlessnaturalvideoblog.com
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Join RSD Live by visiting the schedule (http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/schedule/) or get RSD online/live programs by visiting RSD Nation Store (http://www.rsdnation.com/store), and join my youtube channel for RSD Papa (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCu5vCs-tKoYzPBxnVF8FYGQ
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#2
ceoarob

ceoarob

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/20/2008 | Posts: 1293

I'm interested to see how it is like from someone who's been in it for a while :)

Lookig forward to reading.
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#3
feet

feet

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/21/2006 | Posts: 329

Sat, 12th April

Meet up with some mates at my house and start drinking. We watch some tv and leave to go to fitzroy – my friend has a dj who is playing that night. Although we've gotten there late so we missed his performance. The venue is actually quite dark, and the techno is nice, but kinda bland. I'm drunk, but I'm determined to have a good time so I start dancing crazily, wagging my feet and flailing my arms like a mad man. Bouncing up and down and grabbing my friends. We are all eventually doing the same shit, dancing like a circus in the middle of the dancefloor. In our own worlds. The way of the woo. It was funny because this old dude with a big jacket comes up to me and kinda puts his arm around me and goes “do you want another one?”. Now I wasn't sure if he was gay and hitting on me or asking me if I want another ecstacy tablet. My friend clarifies that he was a drug dealer – but you never know. It's funny to think he thought I was on E, I was just dancing, lording the club and having a great time.

After a while we decide to bounce to another club down the road. It's a somalian club night and 100's of somalians are out and about. It's crazy because there's huge police vans out in front monitoring them – strange because I doubt this would happen if it was a white person event. It seems quite stereotypical, and strange. To see this....almost like a movie.

We go to another bar. Me and my mate are just fucking around. Drinking pints of beer with straws (the epitome of 'I dont care what other people think' ;), chatting up chicks by the bar. Then another set. Their male friends watch on like we're sacrificing their first born children. With this strange look on their face, they eye us talking to their girls. Not doing anything, just staring. Not saying anything, just staring. It must be so hard to be a guy on the sidelines. But we're just having fun, and the girls go back to their group with their drinks eventually.

We decide to head back to the club with the DJ's – especially since we paid $15 for entry.

We get back and me and my mate go on the downstairs dancefloor, and we're so woo. I grab him and pick him up like a a wwf wrestler and we celebrate the glory of owning the club. As I walk back towards the stairs, I eye these two girls sitting down and they almost open us, staring and leaning towards us as we walk past. So I walk over and lean down and ask what they're celebrating, etc. I say i'm there because my friend is friends with a DJ there. And how we missed the main event because we're so popular. Etc, etc. Just joking around about how popular we are. They reciprocate with their own little tales about how they know a DJ here as well, and we all laugh at how cool we are.

They ask how old we are, I get them to guess my age and my name. It's all fun and games. My friend says something, or maybe I do, and one of them reacts with disenchantment towards us, she goes “oh, go away then” with a sly smile on her face. I yell something about how they're “too cute to be mean” like this, and she softens. Around this time my friend walks off- where to, I don't know. I sit next to both of them and the other one is touchy feely with me. Just because i'm sitting closest to the brunette one we gets to talking and I put my arm around her and talk about our lives.

I find myself not joking as much and being a little more serious as we both ask questions. The other one furthest away walks away to talk to a friend and i'm left with the brunette on the couch. She's cute. She mentions how she works for the council and earns quite a lot of money (80 thousand? Hah). Wow, she earns a lot more than me. I put my arm around her and declare that we're getting married. We chat some more. Etc, etc. I say something about how its time to kiss and we kiss, she's good. I say we're married and not supposed to kiss that well. For a first kiss it was real nice. From then on we go upstairs, I intro her to my friends, and we bounce back downstairs, more kissing – and chatting about my other friends who have hooked up.

Turns out she's an ex of this guy who is a big deal in the aussie music scene, which is interesting, and random. Considering my position as loving the music which he's involved in.. its great to meet a girl who likes hip hop.

I leave to go home since my friends have left, and my other two friends – a couple – are hooking up and going home together,and my girl can't leave her friend alone. So we've arranged to meet tonight. However it goes it was a great night – and testament to the woo state. Awesome night.
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Best dating coach for asskickers! My journal is here Current project; - 4 month going out everynight project with Gsaad (DONE) - Bootcamp sweden with Alex (DONE) - 8 month worldwide trip of glory (DONE) - Lifestyle balance (Beginning) Australia - Melbourne (MELBY) Crew 2010-2011
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#4
feet

feet

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/21/2006 | Posts: 329

Sun 13th April

Head out with some mates. There's 4 of us. 2 of whom aren't into approaches, so they just sit back and watch me and my other friend. Not a great environment for this shit. Leave the chodes at home.

So we pre-drink at my place, watching some howard stern, then head to fitzroy. Lots of dancing – dancing helps the woo state. A couple sets, nothing exciting. Probably do all up like 5-6 sets. Nothing great. All pretty shit. I see one dude having some success with this blondie. Kudos to him... I noticed him hitting on some other girls earlier in the night, buying them rose wine, and thought he was wasting his time. But he's ended up with quite a hottie (different chicks to the bought drink ones) as it happens.

Glad I went out. But wasted a fair amount of money though. Fuck. Sleep now.

Fri, 17th April

Had a pretty busy week, so hadn't gone out mon-thurs. My chick from last sat fell through early in the week. Looks like I should have pushed hard to pull her home that night, in retrospect. She msg's me and says she's sorry but she's too messed up to date (or just have fun) because of her break up, the week before. They'd gone out for a year. Heh, I broke up with my ex of 2 years 2 weeks ago, but I kinda don't mind it so i'm cool. Too bad...

So I go out on fri, with a mate. We drink a good amount then catch the tram into brunswick st. We get there quite late, like 11:45 or something? Head to perseverance. Place is fucking busy as. Hit up the first set after a necessary toilet break. One fat girl and a slightly chubby average looking girl, I kinda fuck it up, 'hey guys hows it goin...you look kinda sad over here in the corner' (they really did, they looked miserable, away from the party). But they misinterpret, think i'm calling them losers, hahah, and they go “we're celebrating you leaving us a lone”. I say, “aww that's nice, have a nice night”. They go back to staring at each other in silence. The more I push to approach every good set, the more I notice there's at least a few dragons. I'm caring less tho.

Move on to a 3 set in the corner, where its a little quieter. I kinda don't go in hard enough though, not loud enough. And the other chicks get distracted when someone from the side walks in. Gotta be on the ball, loud and stronger.

My friend goes to get some ciggies from a vending machine – it eats his money. So he tells the bartender and the guy's like “well why'd you keep putting money in?”. Bit of a prick. I guess its a tough job serving hundreds of drunk people pots of beer and spirits. I recognise this guy, he's a uni friend of my ex. Don't know his name tho. He looks way more stressed and worn down from the last time I saw him. Bartending must be hard

We head outside and my friend opens some 3 set. He doesn't open strong enough, and doesn't hold the attention of the 3. Ends up talking too much to the chubby one and ignoring the others. They fuck off, when they sense he's after a cigarette.

I then open a 2 set. They're nice. A hot one and an above average one. They're from NZ. Convo splits. My one has a bf though, and is detached from the convo. Not contributing. The other one is cool tho, and chatty. We ask if there's any other places that are good, they say, 'you should tell us'. I can't remember what happened, but we kinda tried to get them to bounce with us elsewhere, but it fell through – some other friends turned up. I wasn't too fussed tho since my girl was out of it. (Note to self: if you open with a wing, stand closest to the one you want so you can get what you want.)

We then head down the road to first floor. Couple non-exciting sets. We get a kebab and go home. Pretty average night.

Lesson: leave home earlier, open STRONGER, 2x LOUDER, be more woo (ALL over the place – no thinking/analysing, just BAM BAM BAM), be more 'who gives a FUCK what happens'. Also, need to make sure my tonality is more breaking – I think I can be a bit too seeking. Also, don't forget claw. And remember: when things start going well: STRONG INTENT. 'it's you and me tonight', etc. Try the direct opener tonight, too.

I'm heading out tonight, should be fun.

Saturday 18th April,

It's my birthday, so I have a nice dinner out with the parents. Mmm, red wine, beer, steak, fries, coleslaw, lettuce. Delicious.

I meet up with some friends and we hit the city. Get rejected by Carlton Bar. Their loss. We head to Cookie on Swanston st. Nice, some real cute chicks out. We start hitting the beers. I do a tour, looking for some good seats – but its busy. I find a nice 2 set by the bar. Some small chat. One's really nice – from oseas. But her local friend isn't feeling it so much. She goes to get a toilet break and leaves her friend with us. We chat, talking about how sore equestrian men's balls must be. And then her friend comes from nowhere and grabs her to go get a cigerette, they offer us their seats. More of my friends arrive, woof woof. More alcohol. This is great.

I chat with my friends - good to see them together. Those chicks from before come back and wave us good bye. How nice. We eventually leave to go to the Croft Institute down an alley way, cause one of my friends couldn't get into cookie.

I like this place. Lots of cute chicks. I open this two set, nice girls and we bounce to the dance floor. There's this group of chicks he opens. One was this small Russian medicine student chick. She's cute and we chat, hit it off. She waves me down to chat, cause she's so short. But when I see she's into me I don't claw her to the side of the room (drunkenness?) – or force her to kiss- in retrospect this was my mistake. I was waiting expecting her to be more close, but i don't lead myself. My other buddy was watching and agreed – she was definitely into me and her friend into my friend, but we don't isolate her or make any proper moves. We're pretty drunk by now.  But because of my poor form in that regard, it becomes just a long chat with no action. Remember to pull the chick away to the corner, isolate her, if you get things going. You only need to occupy the friends so much.

I had a couple more sets, but they weren't as solid so not mentioned. All my sticking points point to: -more approaching, -stronger opening, -strength of kino, and -force in closing.

My friend got me some weed for my birthday, so after a long night we leave, hijack a taxi van to a park nearby and smoke it up, while listening to my friend recount his experiences in the US with a russian girl named Agnes. Great night all over.

Looking forward to checking out more places in the city i've neglected the last couple years in the coming weeks.. My friend is a good wing - he's gotten back from a big oseas trip where he had shitloads of success and seems on the ball when it comes to this shit.
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Best dating coach for asskickers! My journal is here Current project; - 4 month going out everynight project with Gsaad (DONE) - Bootcamp sweden with Alex (DONE) - 8 month worldwide trip of glory (DONE) - Lifestyle balance (Beginning) Australia - Melbourne (MELBY) Crew 2010-2011
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#5
feet

feet

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/21/2006 | Posts: 329

Friday 24th April,

Fuck, okay. Its been a busy last couple weeks at work. I usually go out afterwards, but works been finishing at like 12:30am or 1am. I'm happy though, because I've been productive on other fronts: with my business and my health. Been hitting the gym hard and working on my music/clothing sales so it's good to be getting those aspects BACK ON TRACK.

Oh, and this eckhart tolle stuff is amazing. I heard about it like 2 and a half years ago and printed the book, but never read it. Now i've read/listened to his two books and I realise how much i've been living in my head up until this point. I've had moments of being, but not recognised what they were. I'm grateful to learn about all this and recognise all the stuff I've otherwise ignored in my life.

BUT, now down to business: Going out tonight, should be fun.

….Got into the city around 9. Headed into the croft institute. Went up to the first set by the bar, 2 chicks waiting by the bar. We introduced ourselves, and they ask what i'm up to, where I work, my name. I said I work at night etc etc. Then the bartender comes and accidently gets me a beer with their order instead of a water. I offer to pay but they insist it's cool...sweet, free beer. We go to sit down somewhere on the other side of the room and chat about dead animals, etc. They're cool, but a bit old, and about when i'm going to stand up and go chat elsewhere my friend calls and he's down the road. So I leave and meet up. Then another other friend dressed like a mall rat comes along to join us, out of nowhere. Damn. (In retrospect, I never should have left croft institute, and gotten them to join me inside).

This was a shit night, we spent the rest of the night looking for good places – we can't find good places – nor could we get into CQ because my friends aren't dressed well enough. Gotta gotta gotta either go out alone, with lair buddies or just one friend. I remember learning this lesson 2 years ago hahah. Friends just wanna chat, chill out. They don't care about being social and approaching or going to new bars etc. FUCK THAT SHIT.

Saturday 25th April,

Learning from past mistakes I head into chapel street early – about 9 o clock. I get straight into electric lady lounge. It's somewhat quiet, but nice. I walk around looking for my mate after taking a much needed piss. As I walk around I see a nice two set. Both brunette. Ask how they're going. We chit chat a little bit. Then, in the corner of my eye I see my buddy Chris seated to the right on his own. Oh shit, he's there. I say, hey guys come over, join us... And without hesitation start walking over, and look back for a second, waving them. They come over. And, learning from last time's lesson, I sit opposite my mate so they sorta have to sit next to us individually, and not next to each other.

Convo splits, and i'm getting close to my chick, we have a fair bit in common. She's 24 – shit, i'm 24 too. Fuck. I'm old (it really hits me here, seriously). At first I notice she's kinda apprehensive, her body language is a bit distant. But as convo goes, she chills out, and I chill out. I start to like her a bit more now too – she seems a bit cool. Although she doesn't smoke weed at all so she may be a bit conservative. I say I think she's cute. She says she thinks i'm cute too. Kiss her. We chat more. I go to the toilet (I was busting) say 'dont run away now'.

I come back and her and her friend are waiting, my friend helping to occupy. My buddy's chick is signalling she wants to go home. And they're going home. So I grab her number. Give her a kiss half/lips/half cheek. Should have been more forceful, pushed for small makeout. I prolly could have escalated earlier too. I was chatting too much {remember, this happened last Saturday too}. In retrospect, when I realise she's into me, and we've talked about ourselves, I need to QUALIFY her a fair bit. And then, when I want & feel like it, I need to go to escalate.

So I get her number and say we'll go out for cocktails. Hopefully she likes asian food. I want to go for dumplings again. Hmm.

There is one other adequate set and one other not so good set. Two chicks sitting next to us say they're 'celebrating' a divorce. One is a cute hippie type chick with bum gloves on. She's a trendy type Fitzroy type girl. My friend reckons I liked her cause she's rude. She wasn't rude tho, she's just more closed off, hard to get. We chat some, and the cute hippie chick tests me kinda hard. She pauses after I talk and kinda watches my face, checking for any flinch or whatever (which there is none). Checking my congruence. The other friend does a similar thing... and they're cool with going back and forth talking to her friend who interrupts us. My friend goes to take a piss and I ask them to help occupy me. They say, okay. And are nice... Eventually, tho, they leave and say 'nice to meet you, come say hi when u see us', so it seems like its on.

Then I chat to some New Caledonian(?) chicks...celebrating their friends going away party or something. Convo is going good but out of nowhere a friend pops up and steals them away.

Me and my mate go back to talk to those original hippie chicks. They're kinda distracted tho, and don't engage us much (talk too much between themselves, not sharing convo). They are savin their chairs for friends, and when those friends come, I get up to leave, give the seats. The hippie chick I liked says “come back later and chat” (In retrospect, I really should have held out a little longer, and played it cool...stayed seated and chatted). I really wanted to get that hippie chicks number...or talk alone. But the friendship group was too distracting (like 3 of them in separating me from her). Heh. Fuck it.

A couple other sets were pretty unexciting...Short, no proper back and forth. Heh. Walked around more. Should have opened a couple sets which I passed up, but they were old. Maybe dont bar the oldy goldies.

All in all: I spent little money! ($3 – altho I owe my buddy some $ money for driving)a pretty average (if not slightly above average) night. Got one number which I think was fairly solid, tho I should have escalated more physically to make it more solid (and qualified and been more dominant), and another set which was fucked because of the friend distractions...

Maybe I need to try to be more physical. My mate reckons I need to engage with them more. Be more direct, and make things more 'on the line' – i.e. push for her, irrelevant to their reaction. Also, going out more helps. The last 2 weeks of 2 times a week isn't cutting it. I had more success 3 weeks ago when I was going out 4-5 times a week.
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#6
feet

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Join Date: 09/21/2006 | Posts: 329

thanks mate ;)

yeah with some friends its very possible. but its a select few, for me. the others i've found are just not interested. so its best to leave them on their lonesome.
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#7
feet

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Join Date: 09/21/2006 | Posts: 329

Friday, 1st May

Fuck'n uneventful. Work for me started at 7:30pm and finished at 1am, so I missed out out on going out, and just caught up with some friends.

ANNOUNCEMENT: I'm declaring WAR on this shit, after 2 weeks of realizing my late nights at work (and not being able to go out are hurting my game) I'm doing a 30 day challenge from now on. (I'll be doing day game to make up for poor night time options due to work).


Saturday, 2nd May


Okay, was browsing some of the more modern shit and I realise i've kinda been missing some of the core elements to this shit. I've been working on my inner game for ages now, and gone heavily away from routines and structured pick up. But I can see how it would totally benefit my shit to re-introduce that into my game. I'd forgotten about shit like being playful, and just having fun fucking around in sets. Just entertaining myself with what I say. Too often my pickups have been leaning towards interview type style shit. And me pushing for rapport, without thinking. Expecting THAT to blow the set up (sometimes it does, many other times not so much). So it'll be good to keep in mind the outer game elements too.

Getting over approach anxiety and the first convo hump in the last month has been helpful, but now its time to have more fun with it. I've been reading a lot of alex's shit...helpful. Especially what he says about making out in the club and phone game. I realised I probably invoked buyers remorse in my chick from the other week by making out too much, and our chat on the phone was kinda lame too. Which didn't help. Fun tho. Lesson learnt.

Tonight when I go out I'm going to try one thing: just go in, loud (breaking rapport tonality), and just fuck around with the chicks. i.e. no trying for rapport until she does - and of course, to have fun.

***Night out***

I went out alone tonight, expecting a buddy of mine to drop around. And maybe another dude who could be in the area. Before I go to a bar I go to get some money out, my ATM card gets eaten. It doesn't seem to affect me tho, I just laugh and kinda walk off delirious.

Go straight to electric lady lounge...wasn't sure if I'd get in because it was about 945 (sometimes they dont let you in late). But I get in fine... Go take a piss, I was desperate. Then I roll around looking for a good set. There's 2 fat chicks at the counter who I pass, and some dudes, but there doesn't seem to be a real good set so I just kinda stand there chilling out drinking my water.

I ask the dude next to me if White Charlie (another club) has cover charge since i was thinking of going there and dont have any money thanks to the ATM card. Turns out he's from Sydney and is just visiting. We talk abit about melbourne/sydney and he mentions the chicks here. I motion to some chicks on the left who have turned up and go chat to them, telling him to join me. Tonight i'm trying to be way more playful and entertaining myself instead of being just talkative as I have been lately. It goes well, have a good chat for about 5 mins. But they're a bit old and they go off to get a drink. Good warm up.

The dude is like 'woah! That took balls to do that, how you just walked up and chatted like that'. I was kinda surprised by his reaction – to normal people what we do is something 'special' or 'ballsy'. I'm happy tho, he seems into it and could be a good wing...So then he goes to buy me a drink. While he's doing that I talk to a hottie brunette and a fatty who were in a big group of guys behind, but they were kinda separated. Had a bit of a fun chat, but they go to get a drink when my buddy comes back.

Then we drink a little and walk around the bar looking for more chicks. I find a two set around the corner and open them strong, fun. They've just been to a wedding. I tell them I just got out of jail. I try and see if they believe it or not....for some reason it was interesting to me. They didn't tho, and we joke around a little more. The shorter one starts firing questions, what do you do? How old are u ? I get them to guess. Soon our convo splits, and i'm chatting to the blondie. I drag her close to me because our convo's were crossing. Leaning against the wall I have a fun laid back convo, clawing a bit (Should have clawed more at this point tho).

We spot some chairs by the corner and go steal them. More convo, I like her, so I try and ask what her passion is. I realised I should have qualified her at this point. About her being adventurous because she likes to travel a lot, and is an expert scuba diver (and a skier AND water skier) and I admire that. More chat, I get closer. Look at her lips, thinking about kissing her but I decide to hold back, keeping the tension high.

Her friend wants us to come with them to White Charlie at this point so we bounce over there – she's on the guestlist. We go over there. Now this is where it kinda gets a little messy – its a loud ass venue with people everywhere. We go to the dance floor and just kick it around. Its too loud for me to talk to my chick tho, I do some dancing but she's kinda distant....I realise now its because I wasn't leading her enough. She's fully into me but she's waiting for me to take control and make things happen.

But at the time I was just thinking she wasn't paying me enough attention, so I go to bounce...(I'd already grabbed her number earlier in the night). As I go to leave tho I pull her in for a kiss, but she goes for make out....we go a bit, but I know not to over do it like the other week so after a bit I pull off and leave. I'll call her tomorrow to do something, I know she's going overseas soon. In retrospect I should have been more physical on the dancefloor, played around, and then tried to push for a same night close. Just to try. But I got the number instead. I've gotta follow up more hard on my girl from last week too.

Unfortunately I lost my buddy near the end of the night, so I didn't get his number. He'd be cool to pick up with – I saw him chatting up one hot blondie and was doing quite well.

Anyway, all in all, a fun night. Good to go out alone and just kick it, meet people, have a good night...Amazing. I'm getting way more consistent. But I've noticed one MAJOR thing (thanks Alex~ and Tim); I need to be a fair bit more playful and not pushing for rapport at the start like I successfully was doing tonight. What I confused with being in state and chatting was me inadvertently asking too many questions. Now when I just play around, say whatever comes to mind and tease them a bit it's way more powerful.
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#8
feet

feet

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Join Date: 09/21/2006 | Posts: 329


Sunday 3rd May,


Go to gym, hard work out. Feel good.

Call my girl from last night, goes to voicemail: 'call me back', then call my girl from last week, gets through. She's actually quite cool, we chat about dogs and how she's got assaulted at class (she works at school) by a parent. We have a good chat, enjoyable, then I ask what she's doing tonight – she's visiting a friend who was in an accident. She suggests this friday is a good time...Hopefully I get out of work early, i'll give her a buzz and we'll go for an ad hoc day 2.

Another girl from the internet calls up, we'd set up a day 2 today, thankfully she pulled out because I wanted to go to the gym – i'd missed yesterday. But we organise to meet up sometime this week (she finishes work at like 9:30pm? So thats aight).

Went out tonight with a friend to a place in fitzroy. Was looking for a good place, but couldn't find one. Should have gone to night cat at least. Next week i'm going to star bar, or cushion/the prince on fitzroy st.

Monday, 4th May

Shit day. Did day game for first time in ages. I went into the city in the arvo for some day approaches, before work. I saw about 3 approachable sets but passed them up for no good reason. Heh, lesson: day games different, you gotta jump on all opportunities you get (there's wayyy less than night game, it seems, so you gotta be on the freakin' ball).

Tues, 5th may

Today I made 3 crucial errors:

1) I wasn't totally in the now, I didn't approach 2 good sets
2) I didn't number close these irish backpacker chicks I met who were into it, when I left (I was leaving), and
3) I didn't chill out a little bit, get my bearings and go from there

Went to eurotrash, not a huge amount of people there. But I open these irish chicks, they're hairdressers who just got here, looking for places to go to. I suggest some aweosme places, we chat a bit, it's on with one of the friends but the other is sitting further away. The music's fuckin loud so she can only half hear what i'm saying. Since the one closest to me isn't great, and I want to check upstairs, I bounce, planinng to come back later.

Before I go upstairs I chat to this young looking chick.. I know her hot friend is going to rejoin her in a couple mins with a drink. But it was all less than solid. I wasn't loud enough, and I kinda didn't know what the fuck to say – was too in my head. When the hot friend returns she's nice for a second but they promptly walk away.

Another set (laughable one) was one I asked on the stairs. But their whole group rejoins and they keep walking.

Night ended with me driving to nevermind bar in hawthorn, and, thinking this guy stole my wallet, he's holding it out, I grab firmly at it, check it, it's not mine. Hahah! He handshakes, accepts my apology. Cool dude. And I walk off. Pretty embarassing. Bad end to a shit night all up.

Lessons out of this: always do a set first off to get in state – DONT ignore this rule, REMEMBER to number close if a set was alright and you're leaving ...and, last but not least, CHILL out if you're alone....dance a little, do something. all kinda fundamentals i gotta be reminded of.

I'll admit it, last 3 days have been pretty poor. Saturday was good but yeah, looking forward to having more fun.

Tomorrow i'm going to do day game and/or go to the Harp in kew. And fuck this shit, I'm going to do better than monday.
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#9
feet

feet

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Join Date: 09/21/2006 | Posts: 329

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday 6th,7th,8th

The finance crisis has meant work goes all night, so I couldn't go out these days. I should have gone out during the day though. Ah well, lesson learnt: go out early before work and do some day approaches. I'm gonna go out sat (chapel st) and sun (starbar/fitzroy st) to make up for it.

Saturday 9th

FUN, looking forward to tonight, going to chapel street again.

I've kept in contact with my chick from the other week, going on a day 2 tomorrow afternoon after mother's day festivities. Looks like my other chick fell through – the one I should have pushed to fuck that night. She's leaving to go oseas in a couple days so that was a slip up, haha. Ah well. That's twice in the last month that shit has happened – gotta try and push for same night, and if I don't try not to make out in the club too much.

I've noticed a couple things about my game, too. Intellectually i'm very aware of the dynamics of pick up – not being the 'chaser' but the 'chasee'. But just by nature of me going up and chatting to chicks I accidently get caught in the mindset of chasing them. The times when I am in my own world and play around with them, joke around, things go way better. But if there's resistance, I begin to chase. Gotta avoid that.

So, my goal for tonight:

Open HARD/LOUD, Play around/entertain myself, Kino, Be present – i.e. don't try to make things happen, accept what's happening and be UNREACTIVE. Lead her more, too – isolate, extract, etc. Fun.

***Night out****

3 set slip up

Meet up with a mate who has a party on at Hoo Ha tonight. We start off at Lucky Coq bar. On the walk there I ask 3 hotties in front of me where's good at the moment, since we just got rejected from Electric lady lounge. I open loud, they all turn around straight away – sweet. They're not sure where to go and are just cruising.

One asks me about my accent, where im from/what im doing from uni. Occasionally engage the group. We just joke around. I tell her about how I bought mentos instead of gum and go on a rant about how they make gum too big for your pocket these days.

I tell them to join us in lucky coq and they do. It was on. But here's where it goes wrong – I go to get a drink for my mate and we lose them. They're hovering around us but I dont notice this until I'm opening this other chick who's got her 21st birthday party. They probably thought we found our friends. Because while I was chatting to the bday girl they slip away not to be found again. Damn.

Lesson: Next time, grab the chicks you like and take them somewhere to sit, chat. Don't be too distracted by other chicks.

The 21st girl set bombs. I was trying too hard (even tho I was just fucking around and having fun). I mention I got out of jail spit some other less than funny stuff off my head. I usually have way better results just being chill and saying random shit from my head instead of 'trying' to be funny.

Chode hairstyle attack

I go upstairs and chat to these 2 chicks. Turns out their boyfriends are right behind them and they come in and start chatting to me, I'm a nice guy, I shake hands. And continue socialising with the chicks after the guy sulks off. Get this – the guy and the girl kinda stands behind her and prods her. But my girl is more into me and goes “what are you guys doing? You're weirding me out”. They both leave.

Thing is, the chick was responding well, I was just being cool – wasn't trying to pick her up at all. But the dude and his posse eyeing me suspiciously from the corner.

As i'm chatting one of their chode friends is sent in to stop me from chatting to the girl. He comes in and starts rubbing his hair on my chest. wtf? The girl looks at him and is like “Sam, that's rude! What are you doing?”. I just pat him on the head and say he's cute. But he keeps going. The boyfriend rushes in and grabs his girlfriend while i'm temporarily pushing the guy off my chest - then forces her to make out with him. hahah – insecure much?

Gotta admit though, the rubbing hair in someones chest is kinda cool as a distraction tactic, if you're short and get away with it.

Overseas chick

We leave and rock up at my friends party and I open this chick on her own who's kinda cute. A blondie. Sets seem to open a lot better lately, as long as i'm confident and not trying too hard, and chill practise makes perefect. We chat, I say she's cute, grope her, feel her arm cause she says she was a pole volter (cool). I get her number as we bounce.

Now here's where it gets weird – my friends' boss invites us back to his house and he starts bringing out all these champagne bottles and we proceed to get wasted. He's been doing coke all night so is very wasted. He goes out the backroom and comes back with all these valiums and weed. I have some valiums and some drinks, and feel real relaxed. We head home. Good way to end the night. I wonder how my friend will face up to his boss on monday knowing he's smoked weed and done all these drugs with his boss.
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#10
feet

feet

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Join Date: 09/21/2006 | Posts: 329

Sunday, 10th may

Have day 2 with chick from 2 weeks ago. We meet up and go to star bucks. She orders a super sized coffee which is gonna take a long time to drink. But as she goes to pay she realises she left her wallet in the car – damn, I think to myself, I should have thought of that move :)..

We go sit down in the corner since couches taken. We get along pretty well – seating position wasn't conducive to much caressing so I just chill out and chat for prolly 45 mins. We go for a walk, hold hands. We window shop food and clothes stores. She has nice hands. Our hand chemistry doesn't cause massive sweating like some people. Even if she's slightly too short for my height (im 6'1 and I have to lean down a tad). I need to go home to do some work so we part ways, I pull her in, make out. I wanna meet up this weekend and hit the drinks.

Afterwards, I plan on going to star bar but end up going out with a friend to fitzroy st. Cushion seems shit (should prolly have gone in but it looked shit from outside – next time) and the saint has too many guys. We try Geebung polo club on the way home but its closing and call it quits. Poor night out...like last sunday hah. I really wanna try star bar.

**Guys from melbourne, PM me if you're up for going out sometime this week**
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Best dating coach for asskickers! My journal is here Current project; - 4 month going out everynight project with Gsaad (DONE) - Bootcamp sweden with Alex (DONE) - 8 month worldwide trip of glory (DONE) - Lifestyle balance (Beginning) Australia - Melbourne (MELBY) Crew 2010-2011
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