THE FORUMS

November 21st, 2014
Sex - Not being able to Cum - Mental and Physical issues
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CandymanMessiah

CandymanMessiah

Junior Member

Join Date: 03/21/2009 | Posts: 25

I was going to write a response to matt89920's thread on a similar subject, but thought better to start a new thread, as I have a great deal to say. 

In my experience there is a whole host of reasons why a person is able or unable to cum during sex. Or even to perform at all.
It can depend on the mental game, and the physical game. Both are needed to have great sex. Let's go into them now.


Mental issues

When I was very young and inexperienced, I found that my Inner game was so weak that I would do the typical Chode thing of putting women on pedestals.
I realise looking back that this very fact wrecked a lot of my sex life.
I remember one lucky time I was with this tall, slim American girl who was a knockout - I mean she could have been a model - Easily a 10 or more (I am English BTW).
When things started getting hot and we started to have sex, I realised that I couldn't get an erection at all, and this frustrated the life out of me to the point of wanting to cry . . . very young, very chodelike.
In hindsight, I realise what my mental state was at that point in time - I was thinking 'holy fuck, she is absolutely gorgeous, what the hell is she doing with me? She's a 10, and I'm a 1 - I am just not worthy of her' . . . (this wasn't actually deliberate thinking, but more of what subconsciously was going on) . . . and I just couldn't get hard.

This is one reason that RSD and the whole pick-up game (becoming the Alpha Male) fascinates me - Because once you get good at Picking up women and have your inner game sorted out, the sex problems fix themselves - I realise now that NO women is above me . . . she is with me 'cause she wants me to fuck the living daylights out of her - And that is what I intend to do. With that mindset, getting 'excited' is pretty easy :-)
And like most of this game, it becomes an exponential increase – The more your inner game gets sorted, the more experience you get, the more girls you have sex with, the more you realise it’s no big deal.

Other mental factors can come into play affecting your ability to cum or to just have sex – Factors like being tired, worried about things in the vicinity (fuck, can my Dad hear the bed bashing against the wall) or just worries that carry through with you from your work or life in general.

I have a personal hatred of Condoms, which is kind of really bad as I know how important they are. The main reason for this is that I am not ‘cut’ and have quite a lot of foreskin. I find using condoms roll the foreskin forward over my cock and prevents me from feeling things properly. Also, condoms just don’t give me anywhere the same feeling as being without them. Again, this can prevent me from cumming . . . sometimes even from preventing sex happening at all.
Although this is a physical problem, it carries itself over to my mental state. I might be getting heavy with some chick and my brain starts wandering . . . oh god, I’m going to have to put a condom on in a minute . . . and thats going to be fiddly . .. and after that I won’t be able to feel anything . . . and hell, maybe I just won’t be able to cum . . . oh god, Mr.Pinky has gone to sleep!
Again, with RSD teachings you should ‘stay in the moment’ – Not thinking about ifs and buts . . . just go with it. Get out of your head – It’s something I am working on.

Physical issues

Not so much 'issues' but more ‘the mechanics’ of sex.
This is going to get heavy, intimate and personal but the points have to be raised.
In my experience with both older and younger women, I could last (i.e. keep going having sex) depending on the feeling of myself inside her.
Young girls are obviously tight and very wet and I just can’t control myself to much extent with them – Maybe 5/10 mins before the feeling is so intense that I just have to cum.
With older women several factors come up – They may have had children and not be as tight anymore – Also the generation of her juices eases off later on in life, which again makes the feeling different.
Having said this though, with the more mature ladies I have had, because the feeling is different (i.e. not as tight but still good, and not as wet but still ok) I find that I can go for literally hours without cumming. I remember banging this 40 year old for something like 3 hours solid without cumming . . .

The best sex I have had is with more mature women . . . Rumour has it that a woman reaches her sexual peak in her late 30s/early 40s.
As well as this, young girls seem far more materialistic – Like considering sex as a tool to get what they want – More mature women don’t seem to have this sort of thinking going on and are more ready to have sex just for fun. That’s just my experience.
Of course, taking drugs, alcohol etc are going to affect you physically and change things too.

Final thoughts

As a good friend told me once, you can do anything you want with the body, but if the mind is not engaged, things are never going to work.
This goes for men as much as women.
And remember to have great sex with a woman, that you should spend a lot of time stimulating her biggest sex organ - HER BRAIN.

Candyman Messiah (Chris)
P.S. I’ll continue to add to this as things come to my mind
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#1
matt89920!

matt89920!

Respected Member

Join Date: 10/23/2007 | Posts: 437

Good article mate! ... I think my situation last night was related to her being mature and already having kids.  She definatley wasn't like some of the super young girls I've been with recently.
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