THE FORUMS

December 9th, 2016
Haze's Journal
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Doge~

Doge~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/19/2007 | Posts: 3688

Getting back out in field again after a year hiatus.  Gonna keep track of my thoughts and progress here.

March 28th, 2009

Thoughts:

1. Claw, dominance and leading frame fairly weak at this point, as is understandable.  I know what I have to work on.

2. Being in my head all year has left my routine generator brain all rusty.  Starting to get those gears moving again so, looking forward to the weeks ahead.

3. Everything else is better than I expected at this point.
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#1

Katalyst

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/16/2008 | Posts: 615

Welcome back dude. I remember you from the old days with  Adi in Rutgers Student Center....shit changes in a year. I couldn't even approach or look a girl in her eyes last year at this time...Fuckin hell.
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#2
Doge~

Doge~

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Join Date: 09/19/2007 | Posts: 3688

Thanks Katalyst.  Good to see your making progress.

March 29th 2009

1. Hit resistance tonight when I went to drop the chick off at her apartment.  Said she had to wake up early.  Tried to get her to invite me up but it just came off so needy.  I friggin' caved, got so in my head at this point.  It was completely new territory.  Started to get so mad as I was driving away but then I put things into perspective and regained my center again.

2. Made a lot of progress tonight.  My second to last set was 2 asian girls.  I was in set with them for probably 2 hours.  Just a lot of friendly chit chat, however I didn't escalate with either of them which was a shame because I had a window, I just didn't take it.

3. My last set was a solo asian girl that I made generic conversation with.  She kept reinitiating the conversation when I would stall so I picked up that she seemed to be into me.  So I SOI'd very blatantly.  After that it was ON like Donkey Kong.  Was dancing with her, making out at the right moments.  Lots of holding, touching etc. etc.

4.  My other sets were warms ups.  Didn't really push any of them however one notable one was a mixed set, one older asian woman and a chode.  I went in and told her how beautiful she was, however, she was very on guard of my approach.  I ejected.  Mixed sets I use to avoid like the plague which I'm trying to change now, so some progress there.

5. Day gamed for a bit in Union Square.  Only did 2 sets.  Very stifled and more fearful than yesterday for some reason.  I think I know why, but regardless, still dramatically less scary than it use to be.
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#3
Doge~

Doge~

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Join Date: 09/19/2007 | Posts: 3688

repost
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Much improve.
                              So amaze.
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#4
Nathan!

Nathan!

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 1470

Welcome back brotha!
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#5
asian caucasian

asian caucasian

Senior Member

Join Date: 12/02/2008 | Posts: 295

looking forward to the progress....maybe i'll be able to learn a thing or 2...... AZN!
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#6
Doge~

Doge~

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Join Date: 09/19/2007 | Posts: 3688

Thanks Kevin, your advice is much appreciated and your absolutely right.

April 4th & 5th, 2009

Friday wasn't worth mentioning nor do I remember very much of it.

Saturday was a different story.  Was experiencing AA out the ass.  A really good thing actually, since fear is my guiding compass.  I have a big problem with grabbing girls and pulling them in (ie. forearm claw).  The night was like doing my first approach all over again. I literally stood at a pillar in a high traffic area for 3 hours trying to grab girls.  Everytime my arm would reach out as a hottie passed by but then I'd pull back or let her pass by.  I kept doing this over and over again.

Eventually at around 1 am, I grabbed a girl.  Blown out.  Claw I felt was weak as hell.  2nd claw, grabbed harded and this time pulled her in and said hi.  Insta-blowout.  My 3rd one took forever for me to do.  I told myself this time, "ok, really strong, really hard."  However, I couldn't get myself to do it.

Eventually what got the voices in my head to shut up was when I told myself, "other people's opinions do not matter, only my own."  This finally made me go up to my 3rd and last one of the night.

I grabbed a girl by her tricep and pulled her in.  To me it didn't feel very hard but she exclaimed rather loudly, "Owwww!!"  and then ran off when I let go.

Shit, I thought she was going to get a bouncer so I left that area pretty quick.  I left the venue shortly after that.

Obviously, my clawing is severly uncalibrate plus I also feel like the reason I keep getting blown out is because I don't have 100% belief.  I have more like 5%.  This is something I will continue to work on in the coming weeks.

I had a very good 2-set which I approached very normally.  Damn it felt good.  I felt like myself at my peak back a year ago.  The set went so well, the women were very receptive.  Got them laughing, kino'd them.  Just very smooth, natural and fun.  One of the girls who was definitely into me ask me if I was a comedian, not in the bad way, but because she thought I was so funny.

Wow, never had that before.  She even gave me her card because either she wants to me model for her clothing line or she wants to bang me, maybe both.  Who knows and I don't really care.

Can't wait to just relax 2moro... I really deserve it.
__________________
   Wow.
                   Such game.
Much improve.
                              So amaze.
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#7
Doge~

Doge~

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Join Date: 09/19/2007 | Posts: 3688

April 9th, 2009

Horrendous day today.  Was in such a yuck state I could only barely squeak out 2 approaches.  I opened with "I'm a chode" and I kept saying it over and over again.  Totally masochistic.  I wanted to be thought of as weird and creepy, I wanted to be humiliated for being such a fucking chode.  I wanted to NOT GIVE A FUCK.

I saw Summa approaching.  It was a brilliant display of fearlessness, of 100% belief.  It was the most glorious thing I've seen.

Why am I such a pussy?  I ask myself... why can't I be like that?  Why do I get in the venue and chode around before managing to do some weak ass approaches and if I'm lucky enough to continue, hit state and actual do some decent sets.

I winged for Law.  Made sure he got time with his girl and even helped to secure the pull for him.

"Aren't those two adorable?"  I ask my girl.  "Yes."  She agrees.  Awesome, it's in the bag for him.

As for me, I just keep her occupied the rest of the night.  I could've escalated, I could've done many things, but I was too scared to.  She wasn't cute enough either but even that might have been an excuse.

The night ends, she wants to go home.  I offer her a lift but she keeps insisting she take a cab.  She thinks I want something from her obviously.  Girl I know I fucked it up, you don't have to keep reminding me.

Drop her off... drop Law and his date off.  Night ends.

I go eat at 53rd & 2nd and meet up with Adi.  Took him home.

My ego got destroyed today.  Good.  You know what... I live for nights like this.  Throw at me the toughest shit possible and let me struggle and triumph.

2moro is another day.

Love the plateau.
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   Wow.
                   Such game.
Much improve.
                              So amaze.
                 Wow.
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#8
Doge~

Doge~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/19/2007 | Posts: 3688

My Goals for tonight Fri. April 10th, 2009:

1. Read a reply by KevinNJ and it made me realize I was being way too serious.  I forgot it's all about just going out and having fun, being social.  No pressure.  My main priority tonight is to just have a good time and enjoy myself.

2. I will not focus or think about specific objectives but will trust that they will naturally come out when I'm just being in the moment and flowing.

3.  Don't sweat the plateau's and don't worry about the down nights.  These things are part of the path to mastery, learn to love the whole experience.  Learn to love the beginning steps of just having a good conversation, you will be doing them for as long as you talk to women.

4.  Belief, belief, belief.  This is something I think only referential experience can bring however, just express yourself freely whatever that may be and let the chips fall where they may.  Whatever happens happens.

5.  Ego destruction is cool.  It's ok to be chode.  It's ok to be weird.  It's ok to be creepy.  I'd rather be these things than an arrogant tool.
__________________
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                   Such game.
Much improve.
                              So amaze.
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#9
Doge~

Doge~

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Join Date: 09/19/2007 | Posts: 3688

April 10th, 2009

Super tired right now but I'll write what I can.

Tonight was just freakin' awesome.  I was at my first venue, and choded around for quite a while solo.  Just did one approach on a 3-set, stalled and got blown out.  I then met up with 2 of my other wings.  We hit up LES.

First venue at LES, didn't manage to get myself out of a yuck state but I was started to feel better.  2nd venue at LES is where I started to let go.

I opened an asian girl.  She got a bit freaked but I said what I did and then left.

Only set I can remember after that was when I went up to a chick with 2 guys standing in front of her, I moved the dudes aside and stood there staring at her.  I then leaned in a asked her why she was so cute?  It opened well but when I went to claw her friend the set sorta staled.  Not really quite sure what happened there but oh well.

I honestly don't remember if I did anymore in that venue, at least anything worth remembering.

Last set however was fire.

My wings opened a 3-set on the street.  While they were trying to bounce them to go eat, I went in an S&A'd the asian girl as hard as I knew how.  I just kept on plowing with full on intent.

I ended up blowing the set out, her friends dragged her away, but I was proud as all hell.  I felt a bit bad that I blew out their set, but I had to do it, I was communicating from my core completely, I needed to know what that felt like.

This entire night I've opened with strong intent so I'm pretty happy.
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                   Such game.
Much improve.
                              So amaze.
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#10
Doge~

Doge~

Trusted Member

Join Date: 09/19/2007 | Posts: 3688

April 11th, 2009

Met up with one of my friends at Duvet.  Stayed there and closed out the night.  Spent most of the night choding but I eventually pulled myself out of it at 3 AM.  It's been getting more difficult as time goes on however I'm happy with the approaches I did do.

1st set was technically a 4-set however it was 2 dudes trying to game a pair of asian girls.  I went in and S&A'd one of the girls.  Her friend ended up pulling her away.

I then did the same thing with my next 2 sets, a 2-set asian girls and a tall ass blonde.  They opened but I didn't plow it.

Last was a white girl sitting by herself.  I decided to go in normally and just be chill.  Opened just fine however I stalled and ejected.

Been having an issue with this.  I can't seem to verbally flow without being in state.  I know I shouldn't be relying on state for decent sets but at this point, I'm happy even being able to just open.

Even so, I'm rather happy with the way I am opening.  I always go in touching the girls right away and showing intent from the get go.  I'm really trying to just get comfortable doing this.

Been a rather rough week but it's good.  Looking forward to next week.
__________________
   Wow.
                   Such game.
Much improve.
                              So amaze.
                 Wow.
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