THE FORUMS

July 27th, 2017
How To Be A Professional And Still Get Out Of Your Head, Dominate, And Win
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#31
Tyler

Tyler

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8827

Jonnyjones wrote:
.... i feel like i failed today, went out and couldent even approach,  forgot everything in this post  = (

Happens to everyone at time, man.

If you remotely suspect you're in this type of headspace, as you walk in, say to your buddies "Hit hit hit as soon as we walk in.  No excuses.  Hit hit hit."  If you're by yourself then say it to yourself, and do it.  Your entire night will be determined by the decisions you make in the first 15 seconds - hit hit hit, or chode about the club, getting further into your head.


Tyler
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#32
Holland

Holland

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Join Date: 06/24/2008 | Posts: 769

Tyler wrote:

The other thing is that my version of getting in state when I'm working these types of hours isn't confidence or indifference, as much as it is logical and outcome oriented conversations (like I have all day long), versus vibe and non outcome oriented conversations.

When I'm working long hours, I feel like any time I open my mouth there has to be a purpose. It's a very bizarre feeling being out at a social venue and talking about such vaccuous fluff. But that said, the reason WHY people like the vaccuous fluff is because it gets their mind off of work and recharges their batteries. So even though it seems weird to me, I actually think it's very healthy for me to be forced to get out of my zone for a bit, and relax.


Tyler

I can relate to this. A lot of times I'm in this extreme goal-oriented mindspace where every single action I take has to be driven by a reason.

Like the purpose of a casual conversation is just to have fun and let go off the tension and concentration on your goals you've had working all day.
Kind of similar like you said that going out and having success with women is just a way to blow off steam, cut loose and go nuts.
Logically I understand this, but my mind doesn't seem to want to accept that it's okay just to say whatever funniness I want to say to people.
I find my mind racing with:  What is the reason for this action, why do this, this and this?

The problem isn't so much being reactive anymore, but to a degree it is. Like I can walk through the club, have fun with my friends, enjoy dancing, enjoy the music. I feel great.
Girls usually notice this (sometimes they start giving me approach invitations, or so I imagine them doing it, I don't know about that for sure and I don't want to get all happy about it, like ooow yess these girls give me approach invitations, but it's just the gut feeling I get from them)
Then I don't approach because my mind feels like it needs a reason (rational excuse) to say something specific to them. Usually I manage to keep state for a lot of the night, but at a certain point my mind just can't accept the fact that I don't talk to girls anymore and then I get a state crash and I don't enjoy myself anymore. The approach invitations tend to go away as well.
Sometimes I manage to not give a damn still and just have a great time, but this is something I just can't deny. It's absurd that I don't talk to these girls I want to talk to.

Off course, I've also had my 'on' nights, but lately this is what I deal with.
I've always been someone who thinks before he acts, rather then vice-versa (unless I'm out and in state, usually with alcohol)(it also happens on occacions when I just loose myself in skateboarding and I just have a blast, I become more impulsive).
But still the majority of the time I find I need a rational reason for the actions I take.

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#33

Canello

Trusted Member

Join Date: 07/23/2008 | Posts: 1261

You don't only win,it's even better.

.I have noticed that while working and being in your head ,a great amount of energy accumulates inside of you.You have to drain this energy.If it rests inside of you it becomes tension.

There are lots of ways you can do this.Go to the gym,have sex,do sports or you can go out.

The thing s that when you go out at the begining is difficult to unlock this energy and canalize it to the environement.After a productive day you feel so full,you don't even want to do approaches or you feel you have so much sex drive you just want to go to the bar and fuck girls immediately.

While approaching oyu start unleashing this energy.You unleash,unleash and you reach a moment when you feel empty.By this time you have unleashed so much energy in the environement that it is natural it will return to you in many forms-good results-.

The key is to unleash all of it.You have to be empty.That's why it takes a few hours.To be empty is the key.That's why lazy people have success and appear cool,they are empty inside.

People who work are becoming full.Girls want the guy to be empty,to give what he has earned.It is funny because you may have a lot of energy and still don't have success and some other people with zero energy have,because they appear empty.

Give the energy that has been accumulated inside of you.It clicks with every spiritual practise.The guy is the giver.The man has to give his gift.People who work gain lots of gifts,material,emotional,psychological,they gain satisfaction.The thing is that you have to give all that and become empty again.To whom?it doesn't matter.That's why warming up works.And that is why it takes too long.You have a great amount of energy to unleash.

Become empty.And then this energy will come back to you.


Canello
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#34
Tyler

Tyler

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8827

Canello wrote:
While approaching oyu start unleashing this energy.You unleash,unleash and you reach a moment when you feel empty.By this time you have unleashed so much energy in the environement that it is natural it will return to you in many forms-good results-.

The key is to unleash all of it.You have to be empty.That's why it takes a few hours.To be empty is the key.That's why lazy people have success and appear cool,they are empty inside.

People who work are becoming full.Girls want the guy to be empty,to give what he has earned.It is funny because you may have a lot of energy and still don't have success and some other people with zero energy have,because they appear empty.



Cool theory.


Tyler
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#35

Gorgias

Senior Member

Join Date: 09/20/2006 | Posts: 216

Working 80 hours a week is for chodes. Work, and society in general, pressure you to work like a dog. You give up your life, and society reaps the rewards. aka lose/win. Sure you get money, but how much money do you really fucking need? "we work jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need"

If you look at primitive societies, the average person works about 15-20 hours a week, and the rest of the time they're with friends and family, chasing girls and fucking. Plus the work they do is directly for their survival, and the confidence from that is something we don't have as dependents on second-hand knowledge and experience. Lots of great stuff in the modern world but overall I say the life they live is of a higher quality.

I say this as the son of a doctor who for 15 years worked 80 hour weeks. Even now he's semi-retired working part time and puts in 50 hour weeks. What were his rewards? Well he never spent much of the money he made (no time to spend it, or more accurately no time to use/enjoy the things he might've spent it on). And now he's lost most of the money he did make due to the economy. His wife left him (who wants to be with someone who's gone 80+ hours a week and drained the rest?) and he feels like he did everything he was supposed to do, but never got to enjoy the american dream (see Tyler's article on Bob) He grew up very poor in a trailer and is most people's definition of success.

Interestingly, he still is really careful with money, not spending it or living the lifestyle that he could easily afford. Part of me wonders if any time he thinks about spending money, he can't bring himself to do it because what could be worth the money he's sacrificed decades of his life to earn?
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#36

Christian®

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/09/2007 | Posts: 671

Tyler wrote:


Typically I'd hold back on saying stuff like this for concern of appearing to exaggerate, but, I've got it all recorded in high definition, bitches.  So suck it.



    hahahaha ! Loved this part. 
Pure gold ....

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#37

naturaltekniq

Member

Join Date: 08/04/2008 | Posts: 45

Great Post Tyler! I completely can related to this especially working in the professional services area. One way I tend to "take the lid off the core" is to actively be social with my co-workers throughout the day (which is easy where I work as people are more extraverted). This helps out tremendously as usually we would hit up a bar or do something social afterwork and I am fairly "warmed up" before then and it makes it easier to be in the groove and mostly out of my head. When I am working directly with clients and not around my co-workers as much it tends to take me a longer time to get out of my head. 
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#38

RyanTWO®

Junior Member

Join Date: 11/18/2008 | Posts: 23

 This is a GREAT POST! I do however notice that on the when I do put in the long hours 11+ hour days, I think the "zone" carries over into my sets if I hit the field an hour or two after work and it's just on. I think alot of it has to do with my profession which is business development in the financial world(at the end of the day I'm in sales).  After hitting it hard with meetings, conference calls, sales calls, crunching numbers,wheelin, and dealin I feel nothing can stop me in my path from getting done what I need to do. 
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#39
Tyler

Tyler

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8827

Trig wrote:
Wouldn't you also say that working long hours and being productive gives you a lot more confidence even though it my stifle your social skills a little bit? 

Yeah exactly.

More confidence, masculine dominance (which in my case means being less like the fruity little gay guy I used to appear like in my early twenties), and yet, less sharp on the tongue verbally.

So you hit hit hit, and then you access that playful and silly part of your brain, and then after a few hours you have the "best of both worlds".


Tyler
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#40
Tyler

Tyler

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8827

VisionsDivine wrote:
Tyler, what do you do when you live in a small town where all the bars have only between 3 to 7 girls per night?

Many times you actually see the same girls, not always, there are new ones now and then, but they for sure repeat often.

What I mean is that it is hard to play numbers on these circumstances. If they don't like you, you are pretty much screwed.

They also get to see what you are doing the entire night, so the first 3 hours is the actual impression they get from you.
In my reality, it's pretty hard to imagine how I could have made any substantial transformation in this area of my life, in that sort of unpopulated city.


Tyler
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