THE FORUMS

December 7th, 2016
How To Be A Professional And Still Get Out Of Your Head, Dominate, And Win
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Tyler

Tyler

Instructor | Trusted Member

Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 8726

So for the first time in many years I've been going out pretty hardcore, and that's to gather infield footage for this year's World Summit.

Anyway recently I've really hit a new level, where I feel like I'm at the best I've been in the entire time I've been doing this.  Yet it's been a journey to get here, because I'm more burdened by professional obligations than I've ever been, and this has made it hard to get "non logical" and "out of my head".

So here are a few pointers that I've figured out to deal with it.

1- I need 2-3 hours to truly warm up.

Yes, you read that correctly.  I don't "lose state" and in fact I have pretty much zero approach anxiety whatsoever (I've been publically mocked for so many years I'm pretty numb to people's opinions).  Rather, it takes me a few hours to become social.

This happens because I'm currently working 80 hour weeks, most of which is admin work, writing, and being in front of a computer.  By the time I get out to the venue I am SOOOOOO in my head that it takes me several hours to get out of it and become "normal".

Whereas most guys would have an hour or two of bad approaches and let it get to them, and stop approaching, I just keep hitting and hitting and hitting until I get into a "social state".  I literally keep going, approaching girl after girl for several hours, until I "click".

2- I rely on the last hour of the night to for my quality approaches.

So by the end of the night, I am usually FULL STEAM GO.  I know this, so no matter how utterly dismal my first few hours go, I will keep going and going.  Then by the end of the night I have the typical results you'd expect from a PUA -- girls lunging me for makeouts, asking me back to their hotels, etc.

Typically I'd hold back on saying stuff like this for concern of appearing to exaggerate, but, I've got it all recorded in high definition, bitches.  So suck it.

3- If I have a bad night I don't care, because I know I will have a good night tommorow night, or the next night.

Because I go out consistently, who gives a shit if it's a rough night??  I know that tommorow is another day.  And the next day.

4- I fully "be myself" and make little effort to make the girls like me.

I prefer to alienate certain girls, but have the other girls REALLY like me, because I'm being who I am.

The community has a lot of focus on minimizing blow outs and rejection, but I think that if you're NOT getting rejected then you're not being yourself.  After all, how could you get along with EVERYONE if you're not comprimising yourself on some level?  So I just be who I am, and I don't worry if a lot of girls think I'm a dork.  The ones who like me will like me 100X more for it.

5- Being "myself" doesn't mean being a little bitch, it means being my BEST self.

Most guys who try to "be themselves" are just being little chodes.  They go up like little bitches and then whine about how it "didn't work".  But the fact that they're even trying to MAKE IT WORK means they aren't being themselves, because when you're being yourself, you have no outcome.

Simulteneously you need to lead, you need to dominate, you need to escalate within SECONDS -- not minutes or hours, and certainly not days.

6- I approach by introducing myself.

Loving this.  Right up in the girls faces, pull them over, "Hey, I'm Owen."  Fully present.  Look them straight in the eye.  They don't like it, all good, I fully respect a woman's right to choose who she talks to.   NEXT.

7- I never go more than 30 seconds out of an interaction.

As soon as I leave one group, I start counting to thirty in my head, and if I haven't started a new conversation by the time I'm at around 5 seconds I will simply approach a guy or a garden gnome.

--

Does all this sound good??  Then try it out.

You'll notice, again, that this list is designed for professionals whose brains are tapped out from being over-worked.  Back when I had very little work outside of running bootcamps, I didn't need to do this type of thing.  Anyone working 40 hour weeks is probably fine without it, because they have 8 hours a day of "leisure time" to just chill out and have fun.

For professionals who work 80 or 100 hour weeks, the issue is getting stuck in your head.  You're more confident than ever because you're on your purpose in life, but you're not talkative or social (you feel like any non productive conversation is useless and dumb) -- so you have to use that same intense professional drive to get yourself in the zone, even if it takes a few hours.

What's funny is I've come full circle. When I was 22, 23 and 24 I needed to run around like a chicken with my head cut off to warm up.  Then as I got older and wiser I learned that laying back and chatting with your friends is more mature and powerful -- like the analogy of the young bull who says "let's run down the hill and fuck a cow" and the old bull who says "let's WALK down and fuck them all".  Finally I've become an "adult" (pushing 30) and I'm finding a better result in going back to how I did things as a young kid -- except not to avoid approach anxiety, but to shift the gears in my brain from purpose driven conversations to fun and playful.

Funny how that works.  Field test, and let me know how it goes for you!  Hopefully it's as helpful for you as it's recently been for me.


Tyler
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#1
Trig

Trig

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/03/2007 | Posts: 1955

AWSOME!!!!!
Can I get a woot woot for the career oriented guys???
I have my best nights when I go out to a quiet little lounge with my buddies before hitting the club.  I'll get there first and relax and chill and smoke a cigar.  As my friends show up, I'll chat and joke around with them.  Before I leave the cozy little lounge I have a RULE that I must approach a set.  This is my pregame routine. 

When I get to the club I follow Tim's rule of making a loud noise and approaching the first set I see.   
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#2
Garret®

Garret®

Respected Member

Join Date: 12/09/2007 | Posts: 415

lol I'm in sales, and whenever I go out after a long work week I start talking to girls in the exact same manner I talk to clients while I'm working. It sounds terrible at first. Full blown logical/blande chode.

It generally takes me a few interactions/good sets and or a little bit of alcohol to get back into normal social mode. After that its great. All the pent up energy I've built up over the week is released.
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#3
Alesis

Alesis

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/12/2006 | Posts: 136

I can fully relate to this situation. Thanks for the post.
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#4

Mr. Fantasy

Senior Member

Join Date: 04/24/2008 | Posts: 202

How will I be able to see the infield footage if I'm not at the summit?
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With the right inner game your ‘hello’ could be all you need to pick up a girl.
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#5

goldenlight

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/05/2008 | Posts: 330

Tyler your a PIMPPPPPPPPP!
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#6

Showtime~

Senior Member

Join Date: 10/22/2007 | Posts: 279

Liked it tyler.. one of the things you writed that most struck with me..

haha just be yourself.. fuck that chick was right hahah

love being here
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FUN
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#7
Halffull

Halffull

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/23/2006 | Posts: 3178

Tyler wrote:

Typically I'd hold back on saying stuff like this for concern of appearing to exaggerate, but, I've got it all recorded in high definition, bitches.  So suck it.


Tyler
This was so unnecessary it was almost awesome :D.
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#8
the-dylan

the-dylan

Junior Member

Join Date: 02/23/2009 | Posts: 26

Tyler, one thing you said really clicked with me.  Whenever I am "Being Myself," my results with women are exceptionally better than hiding behind that social mask we all create from time to time.  Girls who like me for me are 90% of the ones that come home with me.  They are usually more passionate about me and want a little more than just sex.  I don't know why, but I can be in state with everything flowing, but something is just missing.  Whenever I find that missing puzzle piece, weather it be some awesome interaction with a chill honey, or cooking breakfast, I just can't be stopped.  Any ideas on how to just feel AWESOME all the time? Thanks for the insightful post dude.

~Dylan
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#9
thatkyle

thatkyle

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/02/2009 | Posts: 315

Hey Tyler,

I sincerely mean it when I say its great to know that you take the time to share this valuable information you've gleaned from your own experience with the guys that most respect you.

That being said, the thing that most resonated with me, and that I've found to be true to me is that I've never felt the need to be someone else or adopt a certain persona when I go up and talk to girls.  I really just love myself and love who I am and love to share that with the people around me, but I fully respect and understand it if they decide that I'm not the type of person that they want to talk with.  Its really my wish that more guys will stop taking it so personally and letting it pressure them to be someone that they're not.

The fact of the matter is that you are the only person who will be there and be with you from the moment that you are born, until the moment that you die, so I encourage every guy who reads this to make it a priority to start loving yourself and wanting to give yourself to the world as fully as possible for every moment of every day until you die.
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#10

ds~

Respected Member

Join Date: 08/17/2007 | Posts: 325

this is really cool.
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