THE FORUMS

Thanks guys.

Waus, I totally agree. Once I get to know someone better, we can start putting our stronger opinions in there because we are now more familiar with each other. Usually when you are best friends with someone, its much easier to not have a craving to "show your value" to him, so giving advice usually comes from a place of love, and not a place of "i am your teacher." Be aware of the difference inside of you and you'll be fine.

PdZ75, great question. This is something that will happen from time to time, though usually if you are coming from a genuine place, it's rare. But from time to time there are those people. What I'm thinking you're talking about is if someone is saying something like, "I think you are gay... you're gay aren't you?" If you respond, "No," he will say, "You're in the closet! Come out and show yourself!" If you say, "Yes," he will speak real loud and go, "This guy is gay! I knew it!"

I find when I am feeling cornered in like this, it's usually that I'm the problem, not him.  He is simply proving that I am the problem.  There's a lot of ways to go about this.  If you refer to my post again, I say that most people just are looking to be liked.  That's all.  By him saying, "You're gay!", he's not trying to make you look dumb, he's trying to make himself look cool.  Laugh with him, it's funny!  Maybe you really do act gay, he might be onto something.

How would you respond to this if your girlfriend ragged on you like this, or your best friend?  I'd probably laugh and say something like, "Well, I do have flamboyant hands, and I used to have a lisp as a kid.  I like this smarty pants side of you, what other things can you tell about me?"  

Just because you care about people doesn't mean you can't be cheeky right back to them.  I believe that guys teasing each other is our way of "dude flirting".  

Here's something I do back to people if they say something I don't like.  I'll look at them with a pissed off face, strong body language, and go, "What the fuck did you just say to me?"  Scare them a bit, then pat them on the back and go, "Just messin' with ya, bro!"

One time I was at a bar with fake thick rimmed glasses.  I looked dorky as hell, and I loved it.  I was walking around slowly, pass this girl and she goes, "You don't look cool in those glasses, they look bad on you."  She said it in a rude way, not teasing or joking.  I was so in nimbus that night, that I didn't even register into my reality.  Seriously, I didn't care what she said so much that I acted as if she wasn't even sitting there.  I didn't do this in a rude way, or a way where it was like, "Fuck you bitch," as that shows a subtle reaction.  I seriously just didn't give a shit so much.  As I kept standing there, she turned to her friend and said, "Did he just totally ignore me?" she goes, "Yeah I think so."

A minute later I hit on that girls friend who said, "Yeah I think so," and she was like, "and by the way, I don't think your glasses are stupid, I think they're hot."  Her friend came up to me later and was like, "Sorry I said that to you, I was in a bad mood."

Every now and then, if someone is just FUCKING ANNOYING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.  Someone that is relentless, you'll have to be stern and tell him to get the fuck away.  Not in negative way, in a neutral way where you are totally calm.  There's hardly ever a time to do that, as you can easily just walk away from a bro.  No situation is ever that important that you gotta get into a fight.  

Hope this answered your question.