THE FORUMS

What is vibe? Vibrations, good vibrations, pickin up good vibrations. She's givin me the excitations. I'm bop bop... good vibrations...

Vibe is bein a cool dude, not taking life too seriously, not taking offense to anything because life is too fun for that. I like to have a good vibe when I meet new people, because I like people. All people... fat, skinny, ugly, femmy, innocent, bitchy, quirky, totally nutso, serious, political, whatever. Why? Cuz everyone is a person, a human being. They all have the same emotions that I do, they just express it in different ways and have had different experiences to express them. Cool, I love learning about people, connecting with people, having fun with people, having good conversations with people.

What is a connection? Simply, when two people share similar emotions. That's it.

I have some tips on vibing and connecting with others that have helped me have better interactions with peeps. I call em peeps cuz theyre my family baby. Human race.

An interaction is for the vibe, not for the truth.

A lot of people run into this problem because an ego is a shitty thing, it sneaks up on me when I least expect it. I will try to show how cool I am, or how right I am to others to show my value. Yuck. This is how arguments start, ego battles. Who is more right?

Well think about it... no one is more right. It's just a matter of opinion.

When someone accuses you of something, maybe they are right.. you don't know. When you feel that need to show them the truth, it's your ego coming in, trying to prove your identity. But the truth is shit. FUCK the truth. Who knows what is really the truth. Maybe I really am an self-centered bastard... maybe I really do smell like cheese, who knows? The point is that you should be okay with any of it... because true confidence is being happy and comfortable with yourself.. your strong points and your weak points. Don't lie to yourself and say that your weak points are not there.. that's unattractive.

There is no perfect person and nobody likes that person anyway. They like someone they can relate to... the down to earth person. The person that doesn't put themselves above anyone and doesn't put anyone above himself. And just as their is no perfect man, there is no perfect truth.

Thinking that you are better than others is really an insecure trait.  Is it really that important that you want to be better than other people?  I love myself and think I am fucking awesome, like really really ridiculously awesome, but I am not comparing myself.  I am simply loving myself.

If you are arguing the truth in the first place, there's a good chance you are not sure of it yourself. Maybe people are right, maybe i'm right. Who cares? Pushing your opinion onto others merely kills a vibe and shows that you feel lesser value and need to make yourself look confident in order to make up for it.

Realizing that people just want to be cared about.

People like to be liked, anytime they say something to you they are trying to show their value. What makes people feel good? When you can show your genuine appreciation for who they really are, for the value that they MAKE THE EFFORT to give to you. Show them you appreciate that. Whence you do, they will want to hang around you all the time, they will follow you to the bathroom and do your dishes for you, because people love being understood, people love feeling value-dated, they love knowing that someone TRULY likes them for who they are and not for a fake bullshit reason. How do you get the world to like you? Show them that you like them first... but make sure you mean it.

On giving advice.

Here's a tip on giving advice to people. If you want to get laid, don't give advice. I realize that giving advice randomly and to everyone I see is an unhealthy thing, it raises my ego up and makes me try to be seen as some high value guy. Who cares about being higher value than someone... I DONT. It doesn't matter enough to me.. I don't care. Thinking about that fucks me up.

Do you want to be Tony Robbins, or do you want to get laid? Do you want to be "the guy who is constantly telling people how to be" or do you want to be someone's friend? JUST BE CHILL. If a friend comes to you with their problems, "Dude I totally got rejected last night," what would be a good answer, "Yeah well I can help you... here..."? Yeah, if you are trying to show your value. Know how I would answer? "Yeah dude, fuck bitches. Let's go buy some prostitutes then cum all over their faces."

When a girl asks you for advice, this not your time to show how cool you are with awesome insights and advice, this is your time to NOT GIVE A SHIT. People will like you more for talking about how you feel about things, talking about things from your own perspective, not telling people what to do and how to feel.  Do not confuse this with guys in the community that WANT help.  When they are there to learn and get help, and you know you can make that person's life better, help them out.  You are making someone's life better by doing that.  Please don't confuse that.

I usually disqualify myself when people ask me for advice.

"I don't get it... girls just don't like me.. what do I do???"
"I wish I knew, I think girls think I smell like cheese."

Do you want to know how to talk to people? Very simple, relate. Just speak from your own perspective. I've learned to emotionally relate to others on anything. When I learned to relate emotionally to people, I stopped seeing the world so negatively, because I learned I could relate to anything... because EVERYONE shares the same emotions.

"I hate fashion.. I like just wearing old levis and a hoodie."

I personally love wearing sweet clothes bought from urban outfitters all the time. So initially I would think to disagree with this person. "Um, I think clothes are an outlet for expressing my personality... that's what I THINK."

Yeah... good way to show how cool you are, dick.

But what are they REALLY trying to say? Are they talking about fashion, or trying to communicate a certain emotion to me? I think they are trying to convey the side of their personality that is humble and down to earth. I like that. I think they are also trying to show that they don't care what others think of them. These things I can relate to.

"I remember when I was a kid I used to have a backwards clothes day.. like that kid rap band back2back or whatever. I think it would be on sundays.. I'd put my jeans backwards and my shirts backwards. And if I didn't want to be seen, I'd put my hoodie up. That's about as fashionistalic as I'd get."

Now in that... I just related a few emotions and things about my personality... one could be that I did weird things when I was a kid... perfect segway into getting her to talk about herself more.. which gives me a chance to find something interesting about her, which then gives me a chance to show my interest about her and then escalate.

"Oh yeah, when I was a kid I would put on my dad's old work boots and walk out of the house wearing that and my ballerina outfit. I thought I was the coolest thing ever. Then my parents pulled me back inside before I could embaress them."

See how this potentially negative convo turned into something fun?

"Um I think that's sexy that you do what you want. I hope you're still like that."

Giving her my approval. hot.

Words of glory.

Never worry about if the girl likes you or not. That is a waste of time. Instead... spend your time thinking about how you can like this person. Whether it be a dude or a hot chick.

Being cool is not cool. It's not cool to be cool. Remember that, it's the turth.

What is cool then? Making the other person cool.

These are a few of my favorite people.

I had this best friend named Zach. He was a complete and utter natural. He was so cool that it was disgusting. He wore exactly what he wanted to wear, said exactly what he wanted to say.. no matter what. He was funny as fuck, confident as fuck, got any girl he wanted, did not give a FUCK what anyone thought of him, rolled his own cigarettes, he was a dirty bastard. And what was the biggest part about it? He loved people. Everyone liked him because he liked them. He put people up on the pedestel they should be on and put them in the spotlight when they deserved it. He laughed at people's jokes just as hard as they laughed at his. He gave them all the value in the world, because he loved himself and he loved others.

And when he didn't like somebody, they knew it. But that rarely happens. Zach found the unique part of a person and brought that out for everyone to see. He made the unlikeable person likeable. He was a fucking artist. He was accepting of others and their shortcomings, never trying to show he was better than others, just relating to their situation. He was confident in himself because he was comfortable in his own skin. He was comfortable with his shortcomings and with his strong points. He didn't care if he got laid or not, he just cared if he was having fun. But he did get laid, alot. By fucking really hot girls.

He was also dominant, but not to the point where it made you sick, and not to the point where you felt he was trying to show you how dominant he is, he's just a guy that knows what he wants and takes it.

How did Zach amog? If someone came and cut in on him while he was dancing with a girl, he would get down, grab the guys waist and start doing this weird "blow job dance" on him. It was so intense and frightening that it would make the dude feel uncomfortable and dumb that he'd leave. But Zach was just having a good time. Just cuz he loved people didn't mean he didn't like messing with them. Like I said, when he didn't like someone, you knew it.

I talked to some of his friends where Zach is from, and they tell me that all of Philly knows Zach. He's friends with everyone. The thing is, he never told me that. He never mentions how many friends he has, or what his life is like back in Philly. He doesn't show off, but he always makes his presence known. If he does karaoke, he tells the Seaside Park cops thank you for beating up my mom last summer, and thank you to the bar for letting him in with his shitty fake ID, all on the microphone. He loved taking the spotlight, and at the same time loved letting others have it as well. That's a good viber, he's no bullshit like your cutting back on fiber.

A good viber has interactions for the sake of the vibe, NOT the truth. Fuck the truth. Do you want to know how you can tell if someone cares too much about the truth? Purposely sprinkle untrue facts into your statements. Nerds and narcissists will jump at the chance to correct you. They love being right, they love the truth. It makes them look good to tell it. It blows their ego up to the size of a hot water balloon that floats high in the skigh.

Vibers don't hold too seriously to the truth, they are there for the pure enjoyment of the other person and themselves. They are there to have a good time, to put smiles on people's faces and to let the other person make them smile. Showing their coolness to the other person is a vibe killer to them. Showing people how smart they are, how intelligent they are, or whatever, is a vibe killer to them. They know that will only detract from the interaction, trying to look good was never so unattractive as it is today. Trying to show your value is the best way to show your unattractiveness. Instead, show your humanity, your ability to express yourself and your emotions.

That is being down-to-earth. That is the opposite of pretension.



Be real. Be relatable. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy others.

I know this guy Wolfgang. He's a worldly weird looking pirate man. He's always at the bar alone writing shit in his notebook. It's always about things he's thinking about or experiences he's had. Whether it be on a boat he's been on, or a garden he's planted, the music he has performed, or a treehouse he's made. He knows tons of languages and is some martial arts expert. And he is the nicest man I have ever met. He is the type of guy that you would think would like to show off about who he is. Immediately start telling you about his "story". But he doesn't. Whenever he speaks, you can tell it is never for validation or for impressing, it is always for expressing. He also listens to a person fully and without a filter. If you compliment him, he will probably disqualify himself.

"I think you are such an interesting person."
"Well, I think everyone is interesting if you look hard enough."

Humble. These are characteristics I value in others. People that are great, but don't feel the need to let you know they are great. They are just on their own little path enjoying themselves. Be Zach, be Wolfgang. Enjoy life.