THE FORUMS

March 26th, 2017
London bootcamp with Ozzie 12 - 13 - 14 feb
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#11
Nimbus

Nimbus

Respected Member

Join Date: 12/02/2007 | Posts: 802

yes yes i know exactly what your saying.
I do that random hugging shit all the time and stuff to get blown out too and its so fun when you really stop giving a fuck about rejection.

just the way you say it. your whole non-approval mindset really clicked for me and plus you excited me for BC, mine is in 10 days.
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#12
Jack of Hearts

Jack of Hearts

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/14/2008 | Posts: 1042

that was really cool to read, see you next weekend :D
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#13

HowBoutNo

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Join Date: 09/02/2007 | Posts: 484

THanx for reading guys. Blue: yeah, you're right. It's such a mind fuck the realize the whole thing is backwards. You're not trying to look good. You're not trying to be flashy and seek approval. Great game is just you like you always are, without adding anythign special. It seems so boring.. but in the club, that is unique. And of course your game is unique, because you yourself are unique (when you don't comform to the rest that is). But yeah it is about just hanging back and being chill... just realizing that it really is nothing special.

And as you said, the little voice eventually goes away if you stop feeding it. It dies down... and you become chill and relaxed. There seem to be less problems, everything seems to slow down. Yet your progress in this does not slow down, if anything it speeds up. Because what really counts for your progress youa re still doing: going out and approaching sets.

Also what helped a lot was just focusing on the things you CAN control and everything Ozzie told us about your social self and your true self. I really feel that with enough time I can get this stuff handled.. or actually it feels as though it is already handled. I go out.. that's all. Sometimes there's results, sometimes there's not.

See you this friday Velouria?

PS: an important one for me has been to realize that EVEN if I don't go out, or I don't approach, even THEN I'm still okay, there's nothing wrong with me. This ends the "you should be approaching you fuck tard!" self talk. Of course when you're there, why wouldn't you approach? So then give it a 110%, but not because you're trying to get validation from yourself, to prove that you are a hardworker and that you DO approach. That is approval seeking. You approach not for your self image, but because it's the right thing to do and cuz you want to.
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#14
Holland

Holland

Respected Member

Join Date: 06/24/2008 | Posts: 769

Awesome read!
What is a Giraffe by the way? Is it this shit?:


Could you link those articles you talked about (expression, not impression) and how you applied them?

I tried saying weird shit to girls, but I found I started saying weird shit to impress them and then it created the opposite effect.
Like as in: Look how much I don't even care what you think that I even say this silly stuff to you.
Then I do it some other time when I just don't give a fuck and it does work wonders.
Aaaaw, the swings of externally and internally derived self-concepts XD
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Game is the utilization of external events, people and circumstances (that life presents you with), by expressing yourself in a way that (re)frames the social context in such a way that it confirms (is congruent with) your sense of reality and anticipated responses. This roughly means you only think, interpret, feel and behave in a way that supports your reality and expectations.

FREE BOOK ON SELF-CHANGE DROPPING AT JANUARY 1ST, 2012
At my website: www.identityisdynamic.com
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#15

HowBoutNo

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/02/2007 | Posts: 484

Holland: Okay I linked the article in my original post, it was called something else, not expression vs impression (although it is mentioned in the article). You're over thinking this shit. Doing the giraffe = doing your best giraffe impression: like you use your hand and arm to make it seem as though you have a long neck.

Yes, you can say weird shit to impress girls as well. And you can think about this forever, which I have done... you can take this to the quatum physical level, to the dephts of consciousness and see that there is no 'you' that is actually saying anything, but FUCK that! That shit is interesting, but it doesn't help in pick up. If you notice you're saying things to impress a girl, then STOP, if you believe you have this choice, then you DO! Think of shit that you think she will realy NOT find impressive. Say shit like "I cut my toenails this morning". I mean you cannot seriously tell me you feel like you're trying to impress her while saying that? This is where trying to fail comes in handy. We're NOT there to impress, so we MUST fail. If we care about failing then we're seeking approval and we've already lost.
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#16
Holland

Holland

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Join Date: 06/24/2008 | Posts: 769

When you mentioned Giraffe that funny soundpark shit was the first thing that popped into my mind.

You can say anything and try to impress.
If I hear someone say: say weird stuff so it will look like you don't want approval and then girls will blow you out at first, you will grow indifferent to it and then they sense that and you get results.  Then off course you can say weird stuff and do it in order to get the girl and you still seek approval at first. It'll take some time to get truly indifferent.
But it's kind of frustrating sometimes, because you know that if you'd just be indifferent, you'd get results in the long-term, period.
But currently I'm only indifferent on some days. But there's no quick-way to solve that shit I guess, it'll probably shift gradually as you keep exposing yourself when taking new risks and winning some and losing some on the way. It's kind of funny, when I got into the community I thought it was all about getting stronger and building your confidence up to a certain kind of strength and coolness, but lately I've been shifting more to a kind of like 'Jesus on the cross' type view of it, in which you continually put yourself in a place of vulnerability, exposing your full reservoire of self to the world and you start getting to a point where things just stop effecting you as much as they used to.
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Game is the utilization of external events, people and circumstances (that life presents you with), by expressing yourself in a way that (re)frames the social context in such a way that it confirms (is congruent with) your sense of reality and anticipated responses. This roughly means you only think, interpret, feel and behave in a way that supports your reality and expectations.

FREE BOOK ON SELF-CHANGE DROPPING AT JANUARY 1ST, 2012
At my website: www.identityisdynamic.com
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#17
Whorelord~

Whorelord~

Respected Member

Join Date: 02/03/2009 | Posts: 772

I took the bootcamp the week after yours, and yea, everything you just wrote on is so true. I expected him to talk more about intent and do more demos too. But he focused on just being friendly and zero approval seeking instead, and yeah, once you get there things do sort themselves out. Awesome report!
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