THE FORUMS

For a while, I felt like this needed to be said.

Some Background (Skip if you wanna get to the gist of this post):

Back when I started taking action and meeting girls in June 2008, I had a plethora of "bad habits" and would sometimes be clueless about what I should do. Thus, I constantly sought help from just about everybody, especially guys who were more experienced than me, though I didn't automatically write off the less experienced. I was like a sponge. I did what I was told, just like I did in all my other skillsets that I ultimately became "pretty good" at (sports, instruments, school, etc.). This was good for me because it pushed me out of my comfort zone and forced me to try new things. I was finally putting myself out there. Bootcamp in late June kicked this process into higher gear.

As the summer came to a close, I started to see that I allowed RSD to run my life. I couldn't go out and enjoy life because I was stuck in the mindset of "if I don't approach her... then I'm a chode because RSD says so." I would constantly feel nervous, anxious, and pressured to better my skills with women 24/7 (Note: I don't REALLY think RSD tries to advocate this mindset, but this was my perception at the time).

I decided enough was enough and that I'd stay off the forums and away from all RSD material for my entire fall semester in Prague. In reality, I ended up cheating a little because I would still refer to certain RSD material (blogs, watched The Jeffy Show once, etc.) if I felt stuck at certain moments. After all, I was pretty much on my own out there. Plus I wanted to see what the guys were up to. However, I did start to think for myself more. I even started checking out material from *gasp* other dating companies. Yup, I was still failing a lot, but I felt myself growing and learning from my experiences.

I returned home 4 months later a more grounded individual in his beliefs and values. However, there were still some major hurdles to overcome... all that were documented in my journal.

One month later, I moved back into NYC... and shortly after, as I was walking a girl to the subway who I had an amazing time with (and amazing sex), it hit me like a ton of bricks...

The Main Post:

#1. TRUST yourself.

You already know how to get girls. Really, you do.

Whatever you think you should do, just do it.... even if it totally goes against what everyone says on this forum or what any of the RSD instructors say.

If you don't get the result you want, try something else. If you screw up, you'll know not to make that same mistake.

Does this mean stop taking advice from others? No. I would encourage everyone to be open to other people's views, but know that YOU are ultimately the decision maker of your life.

People interpret things differently. An idea that one person has may be communicated in a TOTALLY DIFFERENT WAY by another person, even if it's the SAME IDEA. In other words, hypothetically speaking, Ozzie may say something on some DVD set, and then Tyler may say something that totally seems to go against it, but in reality is the same idea--just interpreted and spit back out differently. Have you ever had a moment when you thought, "OHHH I get it now!" after being frustrated with trying to understand a certain piece of advice for long periods of time? It's probably because you naturally verbalize certain ideas in a different way from that of your mentor/guru/instructor. I had tons of moments like that with the advice Nathan has given to me.

All in all, be open to outside suggestions, but ultimately think for yourself.

#2. Live up to YOUR OWN standards.

Not your parents', not your friends', not society's, not even RSD's... YOUR OWN.

Figure out what YOU want out of this. Specifically YOU.

Some people want the rock-star lifestyle of banging a new hot chick every night. Some people want the ability to get any girl they want... anytime, anywhere, anyplace. Some people just want that one special girl without the feeling of scarcity. Some people want something in between all of this. Some people just want to live a better life overall. Anything is totally fine. No one's forcing you to live a certain way.

Write this down if you have to.

If you don't know what you want out of life yet, that's okay. You'll find it as long as you keep working to do so.

After I started applying both of these ideas to my own life, I felt this HUGE weight being lifted off my shoulders. Despite my now busy and hectic lifestyle, I walk through the world with more ease than I ever have before. I still work on myself, and will probably do so so until the day I die, but I now know that what I'm doing truly satisfies ME. There's no feeling like it.

Always remember. YOU are the hero in this story.

All the best to everyone,

- Dan