THE FORUMS

January 19th, 2018
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PUA of the Future

PUA of the Future

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Join Date: 07/05/2008 | Posts: 762

 Bahh went out tonight.  Frustrating cuz I really got it on with this chick but then she didn't even want to come home with me.  I thought her little sister was going to be an obstacle but then at the end of the night when I'm pulling out all the stops her lil sis is actually supportive of me going and fucking her sister.  But then her sister points at me and says 'you're not going to win'.  Fuck.  Cuz it really did feel like losing.  And it also felt like losing when just 10 minutes before I took her number.  DAMMIT!  Lol o well.. I guess there could be worse problems.

Anyways, I watched this video:



before going out and I reallyyy didn't want to go out based on being tired and based on the fact that I hate going out when no one is out just because there are so few people in the bar and if you fuck up it looks bad.  Lol what my mind hasn't caught onto yet is that most people perceive me as a really cool guy and so why wouldn't they want to talk to me so long as I'm congruent.

Which leads me into discussing the topic of the above video, which is freakin phenomenal.  I was exhausted before going out and would have felt awful about not going out, plus I wanted to put these new concepts I learned into practice since you pretty much need to before you try to learn anything else or else you're really not doing yourself any favors.

Anyways, exhausted from soccer and didn't want to go out, but I decided I would and just be congruent to being tired and not really feeling like doing much and see if this shit would work.  Looks like it did lol.

Open the one 2 set in the bar and it went the whole night.  My congruence was a probably a 9 or 10 to begin with but my charisma not nearly as high.  But of course as the interaction goes on your charisma goes up as well.  Just vibe and enjoy the night and don't be apologetic of your desires as a man.  Sure you're there and you're having fun and there's nothing overtly sexual, but the girls know that the reason you're talking to them is looking for a potential mate, so don't try to deny this.

Anyways turns out I have a lot in common with this girl, which imo is what ended up killing me at the end of the night when going for the pull.  I was strong and definitely a bit of an ass at times, but I still portrayed myself so much as being a guy this girl would love to date.  Its just hard to turn this shit off, and when we have so many things like that in common of course we're going to talk about them.

I remember Brad writing a post saying that he used to go on a lot of dates that went super well and fairly romantic, but then the girl didn't want to sleep with him right away because she looked at him as total boyfriend material.  Probably what happened here since at the end of the night we were super close and making out and she was definitely very turned on, but then didn't want to go home with me.

I should probably find that article and read it again, but hey so long as I'm getting these types of nights out AND banging the girls later on then I guess there's not too much to be concerned about.  I remember Jeffy saying that he definitely gets more lays off day 2s than he does same night pulls.  I guess just for my current short-term mating strategy I'd rather not take two nights to do what I could potentially be doing in one.

Which brings me to my next topic of discussion which is that I finally just really had the epiphany of why I dont want to have a girlfriend right now.  I mean I'm starting my new job soon, and the day to day work itself may not be the best, but at least I will be seriously working towards something in terms of pick-up and overall self-development.

Pick-up is so good for me its rediculous.  Since getting back into this I have been voraciously reading and watching self-development videos and journaling a ton more.  I know that this is so good for me for so many reasons in terms of overall self-development and actualization, let alone what it would do for my sex life.  Without this right now (aka with a girlfriend) I'd probably just rescind a whole lot more back into passivity and complacency.  

Anyways, very glad I went out tonight, just not sure what I'm going to do once I start work at 8:30 am 5 days a week since going out for only 20 minutes seems like its going to be incredibly tough if my sets keep hooking this hard.  Rock on and looking forward to seeing what the future will bring.

EDIT:  The reason I didn't get laid tonight is because when all the cards were being sorted out at the end of the night and I was trying to pull her home I gave a fuck whether or not she came home with me, and therefore she did not want to.  You can't even give a little bit of a fuck.
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Luck has nothing to do with it.

You decide what it contains.

The lay reports and analysis of my nights out in Denver:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/102567?page=40#comment-879488
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PUA of the Future

PUA of the Future

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Join Date: 07/05/2008 | Posts: 762

dave7 wrote:
 That's why 7 nights a week is awesome, b/c you have cool nights like that on a monday. On my lower level, I can relate to that problem with the girls who I have a lot in common with. I tend to get excited and then I get "attached" to the girl b/c I think we have a connection, and girls seem to really not like that kind of "attached-connection". But that's a great shit test in a way, where the universe is really testing you hard, to see if you can keep it cool and outcome dependent when you meet girls you have lots in common with. 


For me its not even that we have a connection because I purposefully block out any thoughts like that if they pop in (and they still do from time to time).  Watch the above video.  For me its just that I want to fuck them, but really its just that I'll get something more from the sex than just sex, I'll get a slightly increased sense of self and accopmlishment, and that's whats unattractive because it shows a certain level of scarcity. 

"Girls want the guy that's already oversexed and can either take or leave another lay" - paraphrased from TD

Definitely learned this lesson from a run I went on last summer during a 30dc where I legitimately stopped caring whether or not I kept having sex and ended up getting lays off just that feeling.  Time to bring that shit back son.
__________________
Luck has nothing to do with it.

You decide what it contains.

The lay reports and analysis of my nights out in Denver:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/102567?page=40#comment-879488
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PlayDate

PlayDate

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Join Date: 02/01/2009 | Posts: 450

You can't not give even a little bit of a fuck
.do like
I id write mote but droid is fail. And im watching people ice skate. But imp for a Monday night that seems pretty legit. When you start working. You can realisticly stay out till 1 3 or 4 mid week nights and still be alive at work. Granted im not one to talk as I never go out midweek but im positive if u want to keep the momentium up while u work u can . If anything work will help since u will be social all day. Not that gibson isn't social but still :)I its only a matter of time till I wake up to the sounds of chicks screaming nightly. Do work son. Ill try todrink less andbe more helpful on the weekends too :)I love playmate.no homo. And fuck droid txt errors
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"At the end of your life what have you've got except memories? That's it. And then poof. You know, we're all just passing through. You really do have to be selfish. You really can't love anybody else unless you're Goddamn in love with yourself. Be delusional. Be really delusional. Consciously, I know I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but when I walk into a room I'm so convinced I'm good-looking that I *will* go home with your girlfriend. " Gene Simmons


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PUA of the Future

PUA of the Future

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Join Date: 07/05/2008 | Posts: 762

dave7 wrote:
 Yeah you're on a whole other level from my "attachment" issues lol. I can get the disney connection shit so I have to get rid of that. It's awesome that you purposefully block out thoughts about connection. That's what I need to work on I think. 

I watched that video again, it's one of my favorites, and some reason it really resonated with me this time, especially the "ice" part. Seriously I had a pretty sweet night. 
Yea man and if you think about it, it is really irrational to think that you have this special connection with someone that you just met.  Like you don't know anything about them.  At all.  All you know is what they're showing you at that moment, but people have an almost infinite number of sides of their personality that they can display, and so hence you are getting to see .01% of who they are.  Once you think of it like that its a bit easier to realize that any 'connection' is just all in your head and you're filling in parts of their personality that don't even exist.

Anyways I went out tonight, kind of sad because this was my last weeknight being able to rage all night without having to work the next day.  Still apprehensive how this is all going to work when I need to show up at an office at 830 in the morning.  I think without a doubt that the drinking is going to have to go, and yes even on the weekends since I can't spend my free days just being hungover and unproductive.

All I really want is to be able to work my 40 hours a week and kill it in that, hit the gym 2-3 times a week in addition to soccer twice a week, go out ideally seven nights a week and finally get this shit handled, and not neglect my dog Gibson too much to the point where he hates me and no longer wants to listen :/

Yep, drinking is definitely going to have to go, and we'll see about seven nights a week, I just love it so much for so many reasons.  Like last night I got it on really well with that girl, didn't text her tonight, but if I didn't go out tonight and have a crazy adventure then I would place so much more importance on this phone number tomorrow when I text her.  Its like if you take even one night off the abundance reality starts to slip away.  

Obviously seven nights a week until 3 am won't work, but if I don't have a day 2 or anything else, I have a hard time seeing myself not wanting to go out for at least 20 minutes per Tyler's 7 nights a week thing.

ANYWAYS, on to the field report.  I reallyyy didn't want to go out again tonight.  Its like almost every night I go out by myself (especially sober) I curse myself for picking such a ridiculous and anxiety producing hobby...badmitten would be such an easier choice.  But then once I get out and do a few approaches and get into that amazing state,  I couldn't imagine not doing this.  I'm hoping that with enough experience the anxiety will taper down.

But yea so I was chillin, didn't really feel like approaching or doing or much or that I really even cared, and then I remember that THIS was the exact state I was in when I pulled 3 girls in a week and a half last summer.  THIS feeling was the reason, the feeling of complete indifference, and that's what girls are attracted to.

So long story short, I was chatting it up with this blonde, a little overweight, but she had the right vibe and seemed down.  Chat.  Dance.  Lead.  Shots.  Dance.  Makeout.  Go for the pull and she stops me.  Says she wants to find her friend first.  We go to find them and she's all 'I'll text you tomrrow and we'll hang out later in the week but I'm going home with my friend.'

I let her walk away for some reason, realize this was dumb, and then circle back around, grab her and try to pull her out.  No go.  Tries to find the friend again or something.  We find her and then I lead her to the door again.  Standing at the top of the stairs for a minute before I carry her down a full flight of stairs.  She loves this but then runs back inside.  

OK.  We go out all 3 of us now, and I drag her 2 blocks to my car, the whole while she's like NOO STOP STOP, and I'm all (per Ryan) "Ok, OK...I'm just looking for a good place to stop."  Just saying nonsense like: "Have you seen 15th street?? [where my truck is]  Its so nice..come on come on..its so nice", all the while just dragging her along.

We finally get to my truck and apparently the friend was following us somewhat inconspicuously.  Some bullshit story about another friend being in the hospital and they leave.  O well.  At least I did everything I possibly could to try and get the pull, and it feels SOO much better to do it like this than to just be all 'o...ok...later in the week'.  Lol THATS WHAT CHODES DO!!  But men take [or at least try to take] what they want when they want it.  

I didn't necessarily feel defeated like I would have if I just let her go easily, but rather felt like a fucking champion.  Rock on.
__________________
Luck has nothing to do with it.

You decide what it contains.

The lay reports and analysis of my nights out in Denver:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/102567?page=40#comment-879488
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PUA of the Future

PUA of the Future

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Join Date: 07/05/2008 | Posts: 762

 Just went out.  Literally didn't spend more than 15 minutes in the bar, but it was freakin awesome.  I watched an RSD video at about 10 pm, which was a bad idea if I was trying to stay in before my first night of work.  But in all reality though continuously immersing yourself in all the content on this website really helps keep the motivation up, especially if you don't have anyone to go out regularly with.

Anyways, I kind of made the realization that I had been relying too much on my looks and going up just introducing myself in a lame-o *cue nasally voice* 'now we're meeting each other' type frame.  And we would talk about lame-o shit but I thought that just being who I am and holding my frame the girl would be attracted.  

The girl did get at least relatively attracted usually, but the problem was that this shit was FUCKING BORING!!  Both for me and for her.  Often times it would end with a 'nice to meet you' or just fizzle out or whatever.  This type of approach definitely has its place and I've had some interesting adventures recently using this as my primary open, but its too fucking boring for the long term and isn't going to produce consistent results, especially in high energy environments.

So anyways I got out to the bar and I was in just such an excited aware state, and the two sets that I opened hooked and they were fucking fun.  Just situational whatever and roll with whatever is on your mind.  Don't filter yourself at all, just let the words flow out no matter what it is.  Jump up and down, or at least I bounce constantly when I'm in set and I'm having fun, shit I do this in my normal life anyways.  The girl tonight thought it was hilarious.

Writing this shit out sounds like such basics, but its interesting that I'm just re-learning these lessons now.  I really need to stop thinking I'm such hot shit and really take back on the newbie mentality in really every way, just like George Leonard talks about in 'Mastery'.  Rock the fuck on.
__________________
Luck has nothing to do with it.

You decide what it contains.

The lay reports and analysis of my nights out in Denver:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/102567?page=40#comment-879488
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PUA of the Future

PUA of the Future

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Join Date: 07/05/2008 | Posts: 762

 
__________________
Luck has nothing to do with it.

You decide what it contains.

The lay reports and analysis of my nights out in Denver:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/102567?page=40#comment-879488
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PUA of the Future

PUA of the Future

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Join Date: 07/05/2008 | Posts: 762

 Went out tonight, prolly 25 mins or so.  Def super tired as I was all day from a lack of sleep the night before.  Took a nap and then basically sleptwalked to the bar.

Despite this though my focus was to be congruent to what I was feeling, which resulted in my first sets having a return to standard introductions.  I tried to pull myself out of this by going in just a little bit harder with a little physicality, i.e. moving them, which opened a bit better but then I couldn't hold it.

As I just typed that I just though of Tyler's vid where he talks about students trying to 'hold' the interaction rather than trying to polarize it and either send the girl running away screaming or becoming infatuated with you.  I think that this comes out a lot more when I'm not feeling my best, but its something to keep in mind and try not to fall into this grey zone where a girl will talk to you for a bit, but theres nothing really going on in terms of her investing or wanting to see more from you.  

Without polarizing the interaction you take a lot of time talking to the girl, which can make you feel better if you're coming with a half empty cup, but its not really gonna go anywhere.  Gotta put yourself in that good state first.

My last interaction of the night was definitely the one I felt most comfortable in, and that's what so much of it is, just being comfortable and allowing those words to flow.  

I also watched Alex's vid on physical rapport and after I dragged this girl to dance I pulled her in by the waist once briefly and then pulled away, and I could def see she got more interested from this, and it also definitely felt nice not to just be pull pull pull all the time, that's super chodey.

Anyways some good things to take away, namely:

1.) Polarize your interactions more
2.) Don't be so much pull, after you have the girl wanting to continue the interaction, show her that you could escalate harder if you wanted to, but just be chill and make her wonder why you're not escalating harder.  Be comfortable and vibe and she'll start to try and game you.

I've now gone out 7 days in a row and 9 of my last 10.  Rock on.
__________________
Luck has nothing to do with it.

You decide what it contains.

The lay reports and analysis of my nights out in Denver:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/102567?page=40#comment-879488
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PUA of the Future

PUA of the Future

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Join Date: 07/05/2008 | Posts: 762

dave7 wrote:
 You are a professional.

If you know where that tyler polarization video is let me know or post it up. 
The Tyler vid I'm talking about just mentions polarization in passing.  The basic concept tho is that you in essence have two choices when talking to a girl:

1.) is to do what a lot of guys (especially newer guys) do, and that's to speak with a girl but not really take any chances when you're interacting, be it in off the wall jokes, teasing, or just anything fun.  This basically then puts you in a position of talking to the girl, but you're not generating any strong emotions and therefore she's not really feeling that strong pull of attraction towards you

or

2.) Say whatever random shit comes to your mind and don't worry about possibly insulting her or someone or what they'll think of you, and either the girl will love how free you are and will potentially try escalating on you, or she won't be down and she'll leave.

The former is playing not to lose and the latter is playing to win.  Playing not to lose occurs when you have your sense of self tied up in whether or not this girl likes you and you'd be hurt and embarrassed if she blew you off, hence why you don't put yourself in a postion for that to happen.

Playing to win occurs pretty naturally once you already have that good feeling in your body and you're just looking to expand out the party and see if this girl is cool and if she'd be down.  Abundance mentality.  If you don't have any of these qualities at any given moment, try to assume as many of them as you can and the rest will fall into place eventually.
__________________
Luck has nothing to do with it.

You decide what it contains.

The lay reports and analysis of my nights out in Denver:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/102567?page=40#comment-879488
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PUA of the Future

PUA of the Future

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Join Date: 07/05/2008 | Posts: 762

Alright lay report.

So there I am at Lavish, just chillin in the booth by myself finishing my beer before I bounce venues.  Since I've been going out every day, I feel very comfortable just chilling and being by myself for a minute; there's no need to make every second count and there's no need to have any external validation.

Then this drunk girl comes in sits down in the booth, or rather her friends place her there...and leave her there with me.  LOL.  They actually come back to check on her and make sure she's alright and that I'm taking care of her...they have no idea who I am.  This is the equivalent of leaving Rick Paterno alone with a class of fifth grade boys..too soon?

Anyways I start finger banging her at the table. Try to pull.  She says no.  I sit back down.  Finger bang again.  Try to pull.  She complies.  We're not more than a minute outside the club before her friends start blowing up her phone.  Lol idiots.

Bring her home for glory times and now she's passed out in my bed.  Actually just found out after sex that she's married and her husbands been in prison for 3 years.  Awesome.  I really need to start using condoms.

Anyways it was cool going out with my roommate and his friend tonight, with the right crew it can definitely help your vibe and your state and hence allow you to have a better time and pull easier, but there's still definitely something to be said for PUSHING yourself through going out by yourself consistently.  Moreover, its because I went out by myself all week that I had enough social momentum to really enjoy my night tonight.

Anyways that's all for now, looking forward to tomorrow night :)
__________________
Luck has nothing to do with it.

You decide what it contains.

The lay reports and analysis of my nights out in Denver:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/102567?page=40#comment-879488
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PUA of the Future

PUA of the Future

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Join Date: 07/05/2008 | Posts: 762

 Mehh.  Went out last night.  Good night, definitely a lot of socializing with my friends mixed with a good amount of pick up too.  I feel like this could be a good thing to do once a week or so since I do want to keep my friends, and it will also help keep me socialized 'normally' rather than just weird pick-up man.

The one thing that really stands out to me is when I was watching these chodes dance with these girls, and the girls were clearly toying with them.  I was just watching waiting to go in and pull them away, which ended up in me thinking and getting in my own head.  The beast does not think.

Before that I was feeling really good and opening well, afterwards it took me a little bit to get out of it but its all good, lesson learned: the beast does not think.

Also learning the virtue of being patient and not pushing too hard, kinda thought about a lot of my successful pick-ups and most of them were when I was patient for whatever reason and not like overly pushing for anything, and also thought about why a lot of my recent sets that I thought were good ended up in nothing, and its because I didn't allow the flame to grow, I just smothered it by trying to throw too much fuel on the fire.

Anyways, didn't go out tonight, fail I know.  But I really didn't want to be up super later which always seems to happen when I go out and get myself into state.  Also its good to have some time to reflect and rebalance your life.  Just gotta make sure I keep hittin it hard this week tho.

Thats another thing, I got laid twice in 8 days, so my motivation to go out, especially on a Sunday in a snowstorm, reallyy decreases.  I think thats why I need to keep upping my standards since nights like Friday night, while fun, help me progress perhaps only marginally better if at all.  

Maybe I'm overanalyzing tho, but I feel like especially if I only have limited time out, I'm going to want to do the things that are going to progress me the most since staying in the land of 6's will keep you there.  I've definitely raised my standards of who I talk to when I'm out, and this girl just kind of fell in my lap, so I guess just continuing moving forward with it.  She did genuinely thank you before she left my house in the morning, which was pretty cool.  Rock on.
__________________
Luck has nothing to do with it.

You decide what it contains.

The lay reports and analysis of my nights out in Denver:
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/102567?page=40#comment-879488
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