THE FORUMS

January 17th, 2018
Matt281
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

^what's funny i I woke up this morning and feel like everything's just great as usual. Quick return to baseline level of happiness.

I'm not really sure what to think. I don't know if I just get thrown off my rocker sometimes when I have a rough night or two, or if this is legitimately something I need to fix, even if it doesn't seem to matter unless I'm out there having a bad night.

I guess I'm thinking more clearly in this state I'm in right now, but maybe I just don't have the emotional leverage I had last night. Hmm.
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Knoxville

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Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 768

Matt281 wrote:
^what's funny i I woke up this morning and feel like everything's just great as usual. Quick return to baseline level of happiness.


I kno dat feel. I want to get here too. I like to think of how Owen talks about how this shit should never change ur swagger and Alex's "there's no reason why you are not enough." But its sooooo hard to internalize and not let this second guessing thoughts creep into your mind when things simply are not clicking. Similar thing happened to me last week where I refused to let this thoughts creep in, then all of a sudden everything just clicked and I was finally just myself.  But once that shit snow ball gets rolling, it just gets bigger and bigger and the night kinda turns to shit. 
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Knoxville

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Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 768

Matt281 wrote:
^what's funny i I woke up this morning and feel like everything's just great as usual. Quick return to baseline level of happiness.


I kno dat feel. I want to get here too. I like to think of how Owen talks about how this shit should never change ur swagger and Alex's "there's no reason why you are not enough." But its sooooo hard to internalize and not let this second guessing thoughts creep into your mind when things simply are not clicking. Similar thing happened to me last week where I refused to let this thoughts creep in, then all of a sudden everything just clicked and I was finally just myself.  But once the snow ball gets rolling, it just gets bigger and bigger and the night kinda turns to shit. 
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Cat

Cat

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Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2303

If it becomes a consistent problem, assess then.  Sounds like this was a hiccup
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Burton2

Burton2

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Join Date: 04/10/2012 | Posts: 793

good shit dude

some motivation for me tonight 
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Cat

Cat

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Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2303

Also have you considered writing your FRs the day after? I find I'm more positive and accurately analytical. I also am appropriately hard on myself if I deserve it. Small suggestion that might help, idk
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

@Cat - Yeah this has happened less often as I've gotten better and better at this, but still isn't all that rare. A lot of times these days I'll have a chode night, then salvage it with something at the end. Friday was like that with the booty call/cherish.

I often do write my FRs a day or two after. It's true the emotional stuff doesn't seem to matter then. I guess what I'm trying to figure out which state to operate from, if that makes sense.

On one hand, I'm definitely more clear a day later. On the other hand, imagine this scenario: a guy is 200 lbs overweight and about once a month someone yells something really insulting on the street, and he gets really upset. But the next day he's okay, and then doesn't worry about the fact that he's 200 lbs overweight because there's no emotional leverage.

So, what I'm thinking is: is this really a problem that needs solving, or like you said, a intermittently occuring hiccup.

@rich - Thanks dude. Glad to see there's some other solid guys who read this, even if you did stumble across my most frustrated post in a while hahaha.

Cheers
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RedMedic

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Join Date: 01/05/2013 | Posts: 7

 Great journal bro. Very interesting to see your journey and progression. 

Inspired me to start my own. 
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

^Thanks man.

Tuesday

Date with this girl I met like 3 weeks ago and had talked to for like 10 minutes. Funny how sometimes the least solid ones hang on.

Anyway, she gets there first and I almost don't recognize her.

I don't think this girl's been on too many dates. Funny, I'm so used to dealing with a certain subset of girls (really hot ones that go out often) that it actually surprises me. She seems kind of nervous and breaks silences quickly.

Goes good. I pull her back here for good measure but she obviously doesn't know she's supposed to get fucked on the first date (come on girl, get with the program!! haha).

We kiss and she leaves. Probably won't call her lol.

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1. Interesting coming from a position of helping a girl along rather than attacting her. I've tried to adopt this frame with all girls (help her figure out that you're cool, don't try to be cool) which has been really helpful for me but this is the first time I've actually been REQUIRED to do it.

2. Since I've been trying every time, I've yet to have a girl not come back to my house on the first date. It was such a limiting belief I used to have about needing to be smooth etc to pull girls somewhere.

3. Gotta step up a bit in general right now. Going through one of those little contraction periods :)

Cheers
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

Thursday

I had a good night tonight. Felt really good just to get back in the swing of things.

I met up with Knoxville and his brother, some of the new guys, then later in the night met up with Rambo. Just felt great to hit up some girls and not really care too much about what happened.

Results weren't anything special. It was a pretty slow night. Got a number from the first girl I talked to, who was pretty hot, and mostly had fun with a few average girls after that since we couldn't find much else. Near the end of the night I opened a cute half Colombian girl in a ~6 person mixed group. Goes really well. Her GF tries to cockblock me throughout but I stick with it all the way till the end. Couldn't pull her because of cockblock friends, but it was good just to roll with it.

==================================================

1. Getting the ball rolling again is half the battle.

Cheers
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