THE FORUMS

January 17th, 2019
Matt281
Your rating: None Average: 4.8 (45 votes)
Bookmark and Share

Knoxville

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 768

Matt281 wrote:
^what's funny i I woke up this morning and feel like everything's just great as usual. Quick return to baseline level of happiness.


I kno dat feel. I want to get here too. I like to think of how Owen talks about how this shit should never change ur swagger and Alex's "there's no reason why you are not enough." But its sooooo hard to internalize and not let this second guessing thoughts creep into your mind when things simply are not clicking. Similar thing happened to me last week where I refused to let this thoughts creep in, then all of a sudden everything just clicked and I was finally just myself.  But once that shit snow ball gets rolling, it just gets bigger and bigger and the night kinda turns to shit. 
__________________
Login or register to post.

Knoxville

Respected Member

Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 768

Matt281 wrote:
^what's funny i I woke up this morning and feel like everything's just great as usual. Quick return to baseline level of happiness.


I kno dat feel. I want to get here too. I like to think of how Owen talks about how this shit should never change ur swagger and Alex's "there's no reason why you are not enough." But its sooooo hard to internalize and not let this second guessing thoughts creep into your mind when things simply are not clicking. Similar thing happened to me last week where I refused to let this thoughts creep in, then all of a sudden everything just clicked and I was finally just myself.  But once the snow ball gets rolling, it just gets bigger and bigger and the night kinda turns to shit. 
__________________
Login or register to post.
Cat

Cat

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2303

If it becomes a consistent problem, assess then.  Sounds like this was a hiccup
__________________
Login or register to post.
Burton2

Burton2

Respected Member

Join Date: 04/10/2012 | Posts: 793

good shit dude

some motivation for me tonight 
Login or register to post.
Cat

Cat

Trusted Member

Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2303

Also have you considered writing your FRs the day after? I find I'm more positive and accurately analytical. I also am appropriately hard on myself if I deserve it. Small suggestion that might help, idk
__________________
Login or register to post.
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

@Cat - Yeah this has happened less often as I've gotten better and better at this, but still isn't all that rare. A lot of times these days I'll have a chode night, then salvage it with something at the end. Friday was like that with the booty call/cherish.

I often do write my FRs a day or two after. It's true the emotional stuff doesn't seem to matter then. I guess what I'm trying to figure out which state to operate from, if that makes sense.

On one hand, I'm definitely more clear a day later. On the other hand, imagine this scenario: a guy is 200 lbs overweight and about once a month someone yells something really insulting on the street, and he gets really upset. But the next day he's okay, and then doesn't worry about the fact that he's 200 lbs overweight because there's no emotional leverage.

So, what I'm thinking is: is this really a problem that needs solving, or like you said, a intermittently occuring hiccup.

@rich - Thanks dude. Glad to see there's some other solid guys who read this, even if you did stumble across my most frustrated post in a while hahaha.

Cheers
Login or register to post.

RedMedic

Junior Member

Join Date: 01/05/2013 | Posts: 7

 Great journal bro. Very interesting to see your journey and progression. 

Inspired me to start my own. 
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

^Thanks man.

Tuesday

Date with this girl I met like 3 weeks ago and had talked to for like 10 minutes. Funny how sometimes the least solid ones hang on.

Anyway, she gets there first and I almost don't recognize her.

I don't think this girl's been on too many dates. Funny, I'm so used to dealing with a certain subset of girls (really hot ones that go out often) that it actually surprises me. She seems kind of nervous and breaks silences quickly.

Goes good. I pull her back here for good measure but she obviously doesn't know she's supposed to get fucked on the first date (come on girl, get with the program!! haha).

We kiss and she leaves. Probably won't call her lol.

=============================================================

1. Interesting coming from a position of helping a girl along rather than attacting her. I've tried to adopt this frame with all girls (help her figure out that you're cool, don't try to be cool) which has been really helpful for me but this is the first time I've actually been REQUIRED to do it.

2. Since I've been trying every time, I've yet to have a girl not come back to my house on the first date. It was such a limiting belief I used to have about needing to be smooth etc to pull girls somewhere.

3. Gotta step up a bit in general right now. Going through one of those little contraction periods :)

Cheers
Login or register to post.
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

Thursday

I had a good night tonight. Felt really good just to get back in the swing of things.

I met up with Knoxville and his brother, some of the new guys, then later in the night met up with Rambo. Just felt great to hit up some girls and not really care too much about what happened.

Results weren't anything special. It was a pretty slow night. Got a number from the first girl I talked to, who was pretty hot, and mostly had fun with a few average girls after that since we couldn't find much else. Near the end of the night I opened a cute half Colombian girl in a ~6 person mixed group. Goes really well. Her GF tries to cockblock me throughout but I stick with it all the way till the end. Couldn't pull her because of cockblock friends, but it was good just to roll with it.

==================================================

1. Getting the ball rolling again is half the battle.

Cheers
Login or register to post.
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

Friday

Fun stuff. Pulled again with Cat but no close.

I meet up with Cat around 10 and we talk and game and life and shit. It really is pretty cool going over ideas with other guys who are going out a ton and having massive sucess.

We head out to a bar literally 10 yards from his new place and both hit up different girls. I hook mine hard but she's leaving the next morning and I couldn't pull off a same night thing. This was actually really funny, because we had a little misinterpretation that ended up seeming really smooth:

Her: Tell me your name one more time?
Me: you're really bad at this
Her: It's just names. If you gave me a number I could remember it
Me: I'll take yours *hand her my phone*

lol. She calls me later but I can't get her to come meet up.

I hit up a few others. Cat's in one he thinks he can pull by and we've only been out for like 15 minutes. I hit stuff up on my own and get stuck in my head a bit. I do get really frustrated at the time, but it's not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Just need to deal with it as best as I can until it improves. No point in being irritated at yourself -- just find solutions. Be like a baby learning to walk.

---------------------------------------------------

Cat wraps up with his girl and we do a few more.

He opens 3 girls as we walk into a new bar and I single mine out immediately. Cute little black chick.

I pull her over to the stairs a minute later, and we chat alone. Cat *apparently* blows out and comes over to be a good wing man; talks me up and shit. I pull my girl over to a table and we hit it off more. I like her because she says exactly what she's thinking all the time and it's actually quite funny.

I figure Cat's done with the friends and is off looking for something else.

My girl is in the middle of a sentence explaining something and I just lean in and start making out with her. Felt awesome lol.

We try to figure out logistics. She loves me and wants to fool around but isn't down to get fucked same night -- well, not without a lot of work and good circumstances.

---------------------------------------------------------

She txts her cute blonde friend, asking where she is, because she's gonna leave the bar with me.

Friend: I'm at Cat's house

LOL

Anyway, I try to distract/pull my girl but eventually they keep calling and txting each other and we go up. My girl is down to help Cat get laid, but our being there is more of a problem than a help. Cat's girl seems to have had a state break and isn't quite so down. She calls their 3rd fat friend and fucks shit up.

Nevertheless, my girl: "I told her she should hook up with you so you'd think I was cool and put in a good word for me with Matt".

lol girls.

Anyway, neither of us gets laid. Gonna see my girl again in about an hour and a half, then go out again. Running on 2 hours of sleep last night and about 4 the night before.

#FifthWind

Cheers
Login or register to post.