THE FORUMS

January 21st, 2018
Matt281
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Knoxville

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Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 768

Matt281 wrote:
Saturday

Rest of the night was okay. I got blown out some but generally plowed. I think Cat's quote pretty much summed up my general feelings:

"Dude, girls in Seattle are... ugly"


second that. After coming back from Vegas and not seeing any "hot" girls in this city...man was it disappointing. This is why I want to travel to other cities for weeks or weekends at a time. Or move for work lol. 
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Knoxville

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Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 768

Matt281 wrote:
Saturday

Before I went out last night my cherish and I "broke up". It was her idea. I won't say it was mutual because it wasn't. It had to do with her feeling like she's been dating someone non-stop since she first had sex and hasn't had any time to be by herself. Also some other stuff that I won't get into.


Ahh damn brah, don't worry man. Hotter cooler new chicks ahead of you. Now you have more time to develop and focus on yourself : )
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

Monday

I head to the normal Monday spot and meet up with Sunshine. It's been a few weeks since I've gone out other than weekends; time to start hitting it up hard again.

First 3/4 of the night is pretty bad. First thing I lose not going out enough is my basiness. It's kind of like when you don't exercise, your muscles don't deteriorate very quickly, but your breathing goes out pretty fast. This takes the form of me being a pussy.

Sunshine tells me to do one and I do well. I lose her and she walks by and grabs me a few times later, but she's only a 7 or so.

Sunshine grabs a pretty hot girl and hooks it hard without really having to do all that much. They makeout a few minutes later. This whole thing basically just slaps me in the face with the fact that all you have to do is try, and a good number of girls are just down. The point and shoot stuff is no good, especially when you're in your head.

The thing is, epiphanies and realizations are generally useless when you're in field. I don't know if other people can relate to this, but sometimes when I'm stuck in my head I try to use something like that "see all you have to do is try" or trying to look at the ridiculousness of the situation (a bunch of people moving around aimlessly hoping they'll in a crowded basement bar), but it's really never any help. There's no escaping the simple fact that I need to use my own willpower to approach, and that nothing else is going to make it easier.

I do like 2 more in the next hour and a half, one of which hooks hard but we lose them to guy friends. At first I was trying to maintain a good state despite not hitting it up, but I start to feel like this is just NOT OKAY. How can I expect to get really fucking good at this when I'm not even hitting it up hard? 

By about 1:00 I am borderline angry with myself. I could come up with plenty of excuses, but they're really just BS.

Sunshine makes me do one in the middle of the emptying dance floor that I really don't want to do. I get blown out bad in front of a circle of people -- really don't care. It's funny that I legitimately don't care after the fact... like ever, but beforehard it''s a big self image thing.

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After that we're sitting upstairs and things are starting to clear out. There's 2 girls I've wanted to talk to all night, one sitting with a group of friends at the bar and one who seems to have left. Fuck. I haven't even hit up a HOT girl tonight.

A few minutes later the hot girl who I thought left (borderline 9 black girl) walks around the corner and walks toward the door with her friend. I reach out slowly and grab her hand, get up and pull her in. It's fucking solid. Both stopped in the middle of the walkway, I'm spitting gold and she's eating it up. Some spectating guy makes an insulting comment and I just play off it and kill it even harder. I don't even break eye contact or notice who it came from.

She has to go but we swap numbers. The whole thing only lasted about a minute.

What's crazy is that interactions like this are virtually the only time in my life where I feel like I'm 100% present to the moment, and basically 100% "me". It's like nothing exists but me and the girl. It's seriously almost meditative. Absolutely nothing like it.

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So that ends and I go hit up the other hot girl I've been wanting to talk to. She gives me the death stare and her friend starts talking shit to me immediately. "We're lesbians.... She doesn't want a dick.... You can go.". I just stick with it though and eventually she shuts up and turn back to my girl. A few seconds later her other friend shows up, who actually ends up being nice, but I still can't stick in there too long. 

Sunshine and I head out.

=======================================================================================================================

1. I think when I have trouble approaching it's all because of self-image stuff. That's why I get so anxious sometimes about hitting up the one or two hot girls in the space, and why I don't want to approach unattractive girls. Last night I was trying to figure out why I get so stuck in my head wanting to approach, but after the fact I don't really care at all what happens. Trying to understand your own motives can go pretty deep.

What I think it is, is that I really don't care all that much what other people think, but since I care about preserving my own self image, I want to feel like a pimp for MYSELF. So when I "don't care" after the fact, that works because I don't put emphasis on things that don't make me seem like a pimp (getting blown out), but beforehand I still do. And when I have a baller set, I tend to emphasize that in my mind (which isn't a bad thing by any means). However, I guess I really do care what other people think before the fact as well though. It's hard for me to make an idiot of myself unless I'm feeling really good. 

Either way, this is really the biggest thing that has to change. The game is there; I just have to get over my own bullshit

2. I mentioned this a while back, but what's tough is that when you know the ONLY thing holding you back is YOU, there's really no sidestepping it. Although I certainly wouldn't have it any other way, sometimes I almost feel like people who think it's their looks, or their status or their height (lol if they only knew) -- those people actually have it easier in some ways. Because when you have an excuse, you can let yourself off. Me? I've got nothing to fall back on.

If I wake up a year or two from now and I'm not swimming in a sea of incredibly hot girls, well, that's my own fucking fault.

Cheers :)
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

Friday

Believe it or not, there are actually hot girls in Seattle. We've just been avoiding the best area because logistics suck. Honest, I don't give a fuck -- I'd rather hit on stunners 10 miles from my house than run around all night looking for sets that are actually worth doing.

I meet up with Sunshine and Muzzi (Knoxville) around 10:30 and we run into a girl they know and a bunch of her friend. The one they know is pretty hot; I end up drinking most of her beer cause she can't handle IPA. Seemed like there was a little sexual tension but I go distracted later in the night and didn't push it.

We go to the first main spot and I run into some people I know. I'm really just having FUN, which is something I've been missing a bit lately. Might have been the mild buzz (one beer lol), but I think it was mostly just me being excited about the fact that there are, in fact, girls I actually want to fuck :)

I txt'd Cat: "dude, there are more hot girls in this ONE BAR than in [the other two main AREAS of the city] combined


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First girl I grab is a fucking STUNNER. Probably the hottest girl I saw all night. I hadn't seen her beforehand, but she walked by in the hallway and I grabbed her and pulled her in. Actually seemed to go pretty well, but right as I started to get excited about it, I ask who she came with and she says her boyfriend. Shit.

We go to the next spot. Muzzi and Sunshine are having a rough time. I grab some other girl who's quite hot, and it goes well, but she's leaving with her friends.

Still feeling pretty damn good.

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I notice a stunning little philapino girl sitting down taking a break from dancing and go sit down next to her and introduce myself. I kill it.

I do a pretty good job riding the edge, saying things that are just outrageous or sexual enough to get a big emotional spike, but still keeping it charming. I sit with her for 15 minutes or so. I tell her I want her to dance for me so I can stare at her ass.

She's definitely a little hottie.

Eventually compramise and both get up together. I grab her hand and lead her to the floor and dance a bit. She really likes me but I have a little trouble escalating it sexually. I kiss her neck and that's about it.

10 minutes later or so I pull her outside to cool off and we chat more. We swap numbers and give each other nicknames. Still don't feel like we have the sexual tension to makeout -- it's like super charming and attraction but nothing else.

A bit more of that, and I pull her back inside to dance. Strangely still have trouble taking it to the makeout; that shit's usually so easy when it's that solid.

A little after 1 her friends want to leave. She hugs me and I try to makeout with her but no go. Txt'ing all day today. Seems super solid, but day 2s are sometimes tough with really hot girls. They're so fucking busy!!

And that's pretty much it for the night.

=================================================================

1. Just gotta approach more. I think subconciously I've realized I can do really well just doing a couple sets, and almost feel like I don't have to step it up and do more. But the difference between fucking a hottie once a month and once a week is just doing 20 sets instead of 3.

2. I feel so happy hitting on hot girls again. I don't know why the hell we haven't been going to this area. It's so much more motivating going for girls you want rather than just putting your head down and sticking to the "process".

Cheers :)
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

Saturday

Super happy with myself tonight.

All the other guys were missing in action, so I had to hit downtown up by myself. Almost didn't want to do it, but it had to be done.

Anyway, I was super happy with myself because I was basically able to keep myself out of my head and at least half way in state for the whole night. I started doing a version of that ridiculous self-talk stuf that Tyler talked about in one of the videos and basically just free associating everything I saw and making it funny. I guess that might not seem that cool, but I think anyone who goes out regularly can relate to how the venue can sometimes get the better of you -- especially when you're solo and sober.

Girls downtown generally aren't as hot as the ones from last night, but I hit up the few hotties and saw and basically didn't let anything that happened phase me. Just kept self amusing by spouting off ridiculous stuff that came into my head and trying to make a joke out of everything.

Maybe you just had to be there -- I've never been able to self-generate good emotions like that for 3 hours without validation. Pretty fucking cool.

All in all, results were average. I don't think any of the girls I opened were down to get fucked. Hottest one was there with her mom, lol.

===============================================================================================

1. If I can keep doing what I did tonight, staying out of my head is going to be a breeze.

/progress
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tiger0

tiger0

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Join Date: 02/17/2012 | Posts: 61

You're a self amusing trooper tank of a pimp. This weekend was awesome, lots of people out with incredibly good vibes :)
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

Monday/Tuesday

Had a pretty bad night on Monday and then went out on a date tonight.

I'm feeling like my date game isn't nearly as solid as my same night game (maybe having spent 50 times more time on it might have something to do with it lol). With the night game I feel like I'm on the right path and results are good, and I've just gotta keep getting better at doing what I'm doing. Just by approaching more and having my game slowly improve, I'm going to fuck a lot of hot girls.

Dates though I feel like something needs to change. I've certainly had some really good ones and pulled from dates a few times, but I've had a lot where something's just not quite clicking. I know it's quite possible to close like 90% on first dates, so something I'm doing just isn't working. None of my dates go "bad" per say, but maybe that's the problem in itself. I always feel like the girl likes me, but it's not strong enough one way or the other. Maybe I just need to push them off the fence more.

I definitely think I need to be more sexual. It's weird though because sometimes it just feels like clockwork escalating, and other times it feels so awkward. It's strange that sometimes everything flows so smoothly, and other times it goes nowhere.

Either way, I've gotta change something. Maybe be more polarizing. I just can't keep letting myself spend an hour or two with a girl and end up with an awkward end of the night kiss.

Cheers
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Cat

Cat

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Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2303

Is it the girl?
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

In last nights case? Yes. In general, I don't think so.
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Cat

Cat

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Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2303

In my experience, day2s are about your ability to lead the interaction and be rock solid on a "chill vibe".  I know you can lead like a pro so my guess is that you've got work to be done on basically just chilling the fuck out on the date.  

Part of how I think I worked on this, practically, was to set up a LOT of dates per week for weeks.  Like massive repetitive date mode.  To do that just go ultra hard Monday Thurs-Sat and grab numbers, call, setup dates.  

When I got on the dates I was like "okay so WHO THE FUCK IS THIS person actually" because after a bunch of new girls you will never remember specific details.  I have tried hard to remember ages, siblings, majors, ... her name..., etc and it gets overwhelming.  The GOOD thing about this is that you focus more on the vibe, less on the content, as a result.  You are just wanting to 1) be chilled the fuck out because you have your shit together (true) and 2) flirting because shes a girl and why not, it feels good.

With experience I got way better and know that I'm nowhere near a veteran when it comes to this shit.  

In terms of actually getting into that "vibe" body/head space when you are on a date:
-- I assume everything that is said is a fliration and a joke.  It's rare that I'll have an intense conversation with a girl throughout the interaction, rather that will be like 10 minutes and then I'll take it back to "I want to kiss you" mode. 
-- Smile a lot, stare at her body, and desire her.  Free expression of this is HOT as fuck for her.  It also sets the man-woman vibe and sets the tone so you can tell if shes conservative or not.
-- Even if she has nothing to say I will just talk, ask questions, tell stories, and have a good time.  The date is mostly about my enjoyment and IF we click then it's a great bonus.  I don't expect HER to make the date fun for ME.  That's my job.
-- Talk slowly or dont respond at all for no reason.  I love that shit, its hilarious and seductive.  Be playful and at the same time fucking stare at her, wanting to mac it.  
-- Drink lol
-- Make fun of her with a playful boyish intent
-- Laugh at how weird you are when you say stupid shit, show that you dont take yourself seriously and ... you wont
-- Telling her you want to makeout regardless of whether or not it happens is just rad, I love that shit, it's a really good thing to just lay down quickly after you had a moment together.
-- Get aroused, take her home, and fuck her, that is totally a good vibe 

I know that you know all this shit.  I know you can do all this shit no problem, you are solid.  I think it's a matter of putting all the right things together at once, getting a bunch of dates for abundance / outcome independence, figuring your own 'kinda turned on by her on our first date' vibe, and being in a good headspace to consolidate your learnings.  

And I'll say this: while I think there is more GLORY in SNL game (no doubt), there is MORE and BETTER sex in 1) cold approach, 2) date, 3) open/casual relationship :)

And why not do both :)

I love you man if you want to talk about this shit in person we should.  

Kisses
-Cat
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