THE FORUMS

March 25th, 2017
Matt281
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SexyMachine

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Join Date: 06/05/2011 | Posts: 1188

Momentum is the real deal baby!!!

Just hit it, hit it, hit it.
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2199



I think this is one of the best videos Tyler has put out, especially from 36:00 on. Really relates to a lot of stuff I'm going through right now and have been thinking about.

One thing in particular relates to the struggle, and how someone mentioned how every fucking night I go out and have to push through my own bullshit. Every night I have to wrestle with AA to some extent. Some nights it's really not much of a problem, other nights (like Saturday 10 days ago when I was out solo) it's fucking crippling, but it's super rewarding to push passed it.

The frame of mind I've been having is "WHY DOES THIS KEEP COMING BACK!??!?" Why do I keep having to wrestle with this while other guys seem to have it handled?".

That's what gives me the feeling I get every so often when I'm down about this stuff: "this is the same thing I dealt with 2 years ago. Am I really any better? Is this every going to change?"

For the record, coming from an unemotional perspective (it's wednesday, didn't go out and develop a big high or low), yes I have gotten much better at handling this and not having big off nights. But more importantly is IT DOESN'T MATTER. It doesn't matter if I always have off nights or nights where I struggle to get myself to take action. There's always going to be a comfort zone, it just changes. However, as highlighted beautifully in the above video, pushing passed your negative emotions over and over is what makes you grow, and it's a gift within itself.

Moreover, as mentioned in the video -- and I truly fucking believe this down to my core -- both pickup and life give you exactly what you need at the time, and exactly what you deserve.

The first time I pulled (didn't close) a stunner, I wrote about how happy I was for all the girls in my life who rejected me and all the things in pickup that went wrong BECAUSE IT BROUGHT ME TO THIS POINT.

I fully expect to feel exactly like that in the future. I might get butthurt about how my day 2 with the model/actress girl could have gone a lot better, or how one of my cherishes might be falling off, but this stuff is most likely exactly what I need at this point in my growth.

The key thing to remember is that as long as I keep grinding it out with this stuff, there's no doubt in my mind that I get to where I want to be.

I'll get there.

And once I do, I'm going to look back at this monster of a journal and be happy that things went exactly the way they did.

Cheers
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duenher

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Join Date: 06/04/2010 | Posts: 246

ha that speech from 36:00 on is from the book The war of Art by steven pressfield.  its so true great book
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adjunkie

adjunkie

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Join Date: 11/27/2006 | Posts: 720

Matt281 wrote:


I think this is one of the best videos Tyler has put out, especially from 36:00 on. Really relates to a lot of stuff I'm going through right now and have been thinking about.

One thing in particular relates to the struggle, and how someone mentioned how every fucking night I go out and have to push through my own bullshit. Every night I have to wrestle with AA to some extent. Some nights it's really not much of a problem, other nights (like Saturday 10 days ago when I was out solo) it's fucking crippling, but it's super rewarding to push passed it.

The frame of mind I've been having is "WHY DOES THIS KEEP COMING BACK!??!?" Why do I keep having to wrestle with this while other guys seem to have it handled?".

That's what gives me the feeling I get every so often when I'm down about this stuff: "this is the same thing I dealt with 2 years ago. Am I really any better? Is this every going to change?"

For the record, coming from an unemotional perspective (it's wednesday, didn't go out and develop a big high or low), yes I have gotten much better at handling this and not having big off nights. But more importantly is IT DOESN'T MATTER. It doesn't matter if I always have off nights or nights where I struggle to get myself to take action. There's always going to be a comfort zone, it just changes. However, as highlighted beautifully in the above video, pushing passed your negative emotions over and over is what makes you grow, and it's a gift within itself.

Moreover, as mentioned in the video -- and I truly fucking believe this down to my core -- both pickup and life give you exactly what you need at the time, and exactly what you deserve.

The first time I pulled (didn't close) a stunner, I wrote about how happy I was for all the girls in my life who rejected me and all the things in pickup that went wrong BECAUSE IT BROUGHT ME TO THIS POINT.

I fully expect to feel exactly like that in the future. I might get butthurt about how my day 2 with the model/actress girl could have gone a lot better, or how one of my cherishes might be falling off, but this stuff is most likely exactly what I need at this point in my growth.

The key thing to remember is that as long as I keep grinding it out with this stuff, there's no doubt in my mind that I get to where I want to be.

I'll get there.

And once I do, I'm going to look back at this monster of a journal and be happy that things went exactly the way they did.

Cheers

Watching you at work is pretty crazy man.  You chill back a lot, but when you see a girl that motivates you, you're on it hard with no hesitation.  It's funny for me to even hear you say you get aa.  I wouldn't worry too much about it.  You always take action, so it's all good.  But, after reading your post, and then watching the video, one of the things that stuck out for me was when Tyler was saying that Julien told him, "you could do it if you had a gun to your head." 
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roadrally

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Join Date: 10/12/2009 | Posts: 2031

Matt281 wrote:


I think this is one of the best videos Tyler has put out, especially from 36:00 on. Really relates to a lot of stuff I'm going through right now and have been thinking about.

One thing in particular relates to the struggle, and how someone mentioned how every fucking night I go out and have to push through my own bullshit. Every night I have to wrestle with AA to some extent. Some nights it's really not much of a problem, other nights (like Saturday 10 days ago when I was out solo) it's fucking crippling, but it's super rewarding to push passed it.

The frame of mind I've been having is "WHY DOES THIS KEEP COMING BACK!??!?" Why do I keep having to wrestle with this while other guys seem to have it handled?".

That's what gives me the feeling I get every so often when I'm down about this stuff: "this is the same thing I dealt with 2 years ago. Am I really any better? Is this every going to change?"

For the record, coming from an unemotional perspective (it's wednesday, didn't go out and develop a big high or low), yes I have gotten much better at handling this and not having big off nights. But more importantly is IT DOESN'T MATTER. It doesn't matter if I always have off nights or nights where I struggle to get myself to take action. There's always going to be a comfort zone, it just changes. However, as highlighted beautifully in the above video, pushing passed your negative emotions over and over is what makes you grow, and it's a gift within itself.

Moreover, as mentioned in the video -- and I truly fucking believe this down to my core -- both pickup and life give you exactly what you need at the time, and exactly what you deserve.

The first time I pulled (didn't close) a stunner, I wrote about how happy I was for all the girls in my life who rejected me and all the things in pickup that went wrong BECAUSE IT BROUGHT ME TO THIS POINT.

I fully expect to feel exactly like that in the future. I might get butthurt about how my day 2 with the model/actress girl could have gone a lot better, or how one of my cherishes might be falling off, but this stuff is most likely exactly what I need at this point in my growth.

The key thing to remember is that as long as I keep grinding it out with this stuff, there's no doubt in my mind that I get to where I want to be.

I'll get there.

And once I do, I'm going to look back at this monster of a journal and be happy that things went exactly the way they did.

Cheers
Im right there marching along with you on this journey, just like 2000 miles away.
Just watched this video today. I think yeah, its one of tylers better videos.

The game is a funny thing. Like all you can do is keep taking action. Keep approaching and doing your thing.
Tonight I wasnt in a great mood. Just hit it up did like 8 approaches at this like artwalk thing here in Austin.
I wasn't feeling the fun, just excersizing the will power muscle like he talks about in the video.
Did my approaches none were more then like 1 minute interactions..
I feel like a total noobie and its kind of soul destroying a bit. gahhh.
For me Ive been pretty aware of the whole abundance channel relating to game recently. 
When I feel abundant, good results come. Today, feeling negative and in scarcity, but getting out there and talking to the girlies anyway. 

Keep on the journey I guess. Keep at it. In the end its hard work that pays off.
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2199

adjunkie wrote:
Watching you at work is pretty crazy man.  You chill back a lot, but when you see a girl that motivates you, you're on it hard with no hesitation.  It's funny for me to even hear you say you get aa.  I wouldn't worry too much about it.  You always take action, so it's all good.  But, after reading your post, and then watching the video, one of the things that stuck out for me was when Tyler was saying that Julien told him, "you could do it if you had a gun to your head." 
I still let way to many go, and even if I'm approaching the hottest girls, I'm not taking initiative early on the night (sometimes) to get that social muscle going and give myself a good chance at success when I do step to that stunner. I'm happy with myself for generally going after what I want (I feel like a lot of community guys won't approach the hottest girls), but every approach is an opportunity for growth. Can't just be sniping all the time.

@roadrally - yeah man, there's always gonna be ups and downs, but as long as the general trend is progress (always is when you're hitting it up hard), there's nothing to complain about. This stuff is harder than anyone thinks getting into it, but it's so much more rewarding than you think too.

======================================================================================

Thursday

Me, Sunshine and Brother finally head back to the east side, which has the super posh/tough clubs that we were going to a bit last summer but slowed down too much over the winter. Things are switch around a little, but there's still one central club where all the hot socialite girls go on thursdays.

There's a lot of community guys out that we don't normally hang out with, but everyone else is part of that "in crowd".

Seeing as how there's only one venue and not that many potential approaches outside of the VIP area (where there's like 8 stunners all in a group), I just try to have fun dancing and pump my own state a bit. I do this suprisingly well tonight and I'm feeling pretty damn good.

I halfway hook a hot blonde girl who gets opened by one of the other guys and I beckon over to me, but not quite.

Brother and Sunshine want to bounce around a little so we head outside. I stop and talk to these two girls by the door while they check out some other places.

Goes really really well for me. I'm just chilling back and saying shit while they're huddled around me. Good buyers frame. But as it turns out, the cute one is married and the other one is fat. I eventually find out that the cute one got cheated on, split up with her husband and now they're trying to make it work agian, so I *might* have been able to pull something, but she has 2 young kids and my chances aren't too great anyway. Great warmup set though. Girls love me.

-------------------------------------------------------------

We head back in the club and I only do a couple more. Probably about 5 total tonight (granted there's only about 5 hot girls not in VIP).

One in particular was pretty damn good. Some hot brunette girl. I grab her and stop her while she's walking:

Her: I don't want to dance
Me: I don't either, I just want to talk with you and pretend I'm with a cute girl

Goes well but I lose her after a minute.

Few more outside. I pussy out with the VIP girls and settle for stairing at them lol.

==================================================================================================

1. I fucking love this environment because it makes every other bar we go too -- tough or not -- look like a joke. When you go to a spot where the girls are super hot and bitchy, and all the guys have status, money, looks and game, everywhere else seems ridiculously easy.

2. Gotta find some way to step to the hot socialite girls. Most of the time they're in their fenced off little area, but it's not impossible. Might be a steep learning curve though, because it seems like you have about 3 seconds to show her that you're a fucking boss.

Anyway, next 2 nights should be fun :)

Cheers
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2199

Friday

Another tough one. Went to a little get together earlier and didn't get out till like 11:30. Slow start.

Wing a few with Sunshine and Brother on the dance floor but it's not really going anywhere. A few minutes later I open a hot 30 year old girl with pink hair. Goes reasonably well but I feel like I'm not on enough to where she views me as a sexual threat.

Couple more blowouts and choding. I run into some hot girls I went to school with. Too bad it couldn't have been when I was in state :(

I end up talking to a pretty cute girl outside. Seemed to go about as good as I could have hoped for given I'm not feeling that great, but when I txt'd her I think she gave me a wrong number.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I go back to the first place and hit more stuff up. It's amazing how much of the night is just spent walking around and being a chode. I probably did 10 sets, but over a 2+ hour period, I was probably only in set for 20 minutes. That's a lot of walking around.

Anyway, got a pretty hot girls number at the very end of the side walk. Only seemed somewhat solid.

=============================================================

1. It's weird because now I feel myself getting into that state where I think I can't do this, but then I know it's mostly just my emotions and I can't really take myself seriously, but I still feel off. It's interesting though, even on my worst nights now I'm never really that "down". I'm still generally having a good time and fucking around with Brother and Sunshine. I guess that's a positive takeaway from the night, since there weren't many. Even on rough nights, I still enjoy myself more than a lot of people, and cool enough I actually grow from this. There's nothing quite like feeling like you're getting better slowly and it's just a matter of time.

That being said, off nights are tough. It's mostly just that I want to believe that since I've gone out and had enough success that I should be able to just aborb all of this by osmosis and it should come flowing out of me naturally when I talk to girls (which seems to be the cases with guys who just grew up with hot girls and status). Nevertheless, I still find myself having to grind it out and try to get my state to the point where I can pull.

2. On the bright side, this area is awesome. I don't know why we've been going after the low-hanging fruit in the other spots on Fridays. Girls here are HOT. Gotta go after what you want :)

Cheers
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Cat

Cat

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Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2300

Yeah I'd say get more process oriented so that you can feel good about opening ten sets (which is good).

Maybe work on the "approach machine" muscles.  Always be in set regardless of who you are talking to?  We opened two sevens last night to just keep going and a minute later their hot friend shows up.  And it feels good to just be talking anyway regardless of how hot they are.  I feel you about the dead time -- on certain days that won't fuck me up but on average it does.  

When you say off night do you mean "outcomes with women" off or "my own internal state" off?  

Miss you beb, see you on Monday :)
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2199

Yeah you guys are both right. Did a whole lot better on that tonight.

The key to this is just opening anyway. Interestingly enough, I felt pretty normal most of the night but I had a lot of good interactions, got 3 solid numbers and made out with/almost pulled a really hot girl.

I'm trying really hard not to be so state dependent. Went great tonight. No theatrics, just putting myself out there. Hopefully I can keep it up :)
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2199

Saturday

Really good night. (To clarify, good means sticking to the process and taking "right action" regardless of how I feel -- although good results certainly help.)

I start off with Sunshine and Brother in downtown. Converse shows up around 10:30 and we start hitting it up together.

First open a group of 4 relatively attractive girls. Actually only one or two are attractive. Mine is not. It's weird when you're really off point, but the girl is into it anyway. Such is the case with unnactractive girls :) I'm actually feeling pretty damn good, but definitely not warmed up with approaches.

We bail on that one and I go hit up 2 asian girls. Converse wings. Goes well. Number.

We bounce around to some other places and approach other girls. I'm actually feeling less fun and charismatic than when the night started, but I approach anyway. I tap the hottest girl in the bar (in a 4 set with guys) and she tells me her name then backturns me. Oh well, the point is doing it anyway.

This was really the big lesson for tonight and what Cat and Thug4life pointed out too. The goal isn't to just try to do stuff to get yourself into state, and then feel like you can do something. The goal is to ignore state and just do what you need to do anyway. I don't need to try to build momentum or even necessarily do anything to make myself feel better, I just need to approach regardless of how I feel and let things happen. One useful analogy for me regarding this point was the idea of momentum in sports. There's no denying and momemtum and being "on fire" both play a huge role in sports, but the players aren't trying to get momentum or get "on fire". They are simply playing the game, and capitalizing on those things when they do happen.

This concept is huge for me. Practical application: approach regardless, approach anyway.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I run into SexyMachine briefly and see Brother and Sunshine again. I'm still not feeling that great, but it's not relevant. I am approaching anyway. See a girl you like, tap her, introduce yourself and see what happens.

Approach anxienty is less of a problem when I'm not trying to generate momentum or state.

I tap a cute indian girl as she's leaving. Goes really well. Converse wings. We talk with them for a bit inside by the door, then go outside and keep talking. We exchange numbers. Seemed pretty solid.

Few more.

I see probably the hottest girl I've seen all night. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous hispanic or middle eastern girl. I'm not feeling good enough to open her. Fuck it. I tap her anyway. She actually responds really well but they're crossing the street and I'm tongue tied.

We decide to head up to the hill.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We get to the main lounge and Converse opens one. Her friend is turned around, but I open the friend.

Turns out she's really hot.

My social muscle finally starts to kick in and I play it really solid. Good verbals, strong eye contact and hand-holding games. After a few minutes I pull her about 5 yards away and we keep at it. It's solid. I stop her for a second and do the "moment of realness" thing, which I think I miscalibrated a little bit because it mostly fucks up the flow of the interaction a little. Still good though, still on.

She says she's hot so I pull her outside to the smoking area. I chill things out a little bit although we've still got that "bubble of love" thing going the whole time.

She says she has to go to the bathroom and starts pushing me back inside.

Her: look I can just push you around :)

I grab her and press her up against the wall and makeout with her. It's hot. She's hot.

I chiill with Converse and his girl for a bit until my girl gets back. Converse seeds the pull but it's not quite as solid on his end.

We make out more, talk shit, and push each other around. They have to go though. Numbers and out.

This one was great and seemed unbelievably solid, but she hasn't txt'd me back yet so you never know. It's cool meeting girls you actually like. Even with the really hot ones, sometimes I find myself like "eh...I want your warm hole but that's it". This girl was cool and we had chemistry.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Converse and I stay out until there aren't any hot girls left, but no dice tonight. Great night though.

========================================================================================================

1. Like I said earlier, the big lesson was just saying "fuck state" and approaching the girls I wanted to anyway. I found that once I detached myself from that, a) I wasn't dicking around trying to "build enough momentum" to approach the hottest girls, and b) I wasn't try to get good reactions to feed my state. That helped a lot with AA, as well as my results.

Sunday

Met up with the asian girls from Saturday for a double date thing. Mostly did it this way because she seemed uncomfortable coming alone and I knew that one of my civilian friends who just moved into town would be excited to wing it.

Went kind of shitty. Even minor social and language barriers are tough. With Americanized girls and very aware of how things are going, what's working, what's not, how far I can go, and when I'm going too far. Couldn't completely tell with this one.

Also impossible to escalate with the friend there.

Anyway, I bring them back to my place for good measure, but it's hopeless. To be honest though, it's worth going on day2s just to have a chance to hit on a girl for 2+ hours.

=================================================================================

1. When you're having some success with girls you actually do like, it's very hard to get invested in other girls. I want to take Tyler's advice and hit up all my numbers hard, but oftentimes the next day, I will have absolutely no desire to hang out with some of the girls who gave me their numbers. I still think a lot about the ones I like (aka last girl from Saturday and another girl who I've been txting with for a while), but find it hard to care with the other ones.


Big progress this weekend. Cheers.
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