THE FORUMS
Where do I start?
Cliff notes version: the night was crazy/awesome but didn't turn out how I'd hoped.
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So unfortunately my "wing" fails at planning and our night is basically non-existent before 11. The girls go to dinner with the other group of guys (who are also my friends as it turns out) and we don't even get a parking spot until 10:30 and get to the club around 11. I'd have liked to go to a few bars beforehand but whatever.
The place is pretty sick. Tons of people already and I've got a pretty good buzz going. I decide to get the ball moving early:
First memorable set:
There's this attractive indian girl standing alone so there's no reason for me not to go. I do the standard "hi, I'm matt" thing and banter with her a bit. She's there with a married couple who seem to be completely cool with me chatting her up. Her english is really solid but there's still a little bit of cultural barrier for humor. She tells me she doesn't really know how to act in american clubs cause she doesn't go out much and has only been here for 2 years. Then she tells me she has a boyfriend... I talk with her another few seconds and tell her I'm gonna go find my friends.
Number 2
I see my ex-oneitis in the downstairs dance room and grab her. She sort of pulls away, then notices it's me and hugs me. I kind of underestimated how high-energy this place was. We squeeze in a few words as we move by each other and as we part I grab both her hands and tell her she looks amazing. "thanks" *smile*. She's looking for the other girls.
Numero Tres
Not wanting to leech on, I go upstairs to chat up other girls and get more momentum going. I see this girl standing alone and sort of weird her out asking why she's standing alone texting in the middle of a club. I stay in set though and find out she's legitimately a lesbian. Her sister comes in a starts talking to us and when I go to say something to her, her boyfriend steps in and sort of pushes me away from her. "yo that's my girl!". I laugh in off and explain that I'm talking to her sister. Sigh, chodes. Anyway, I wouldn't even like this girl if she were straight, but somehow she suckers me into paying for part of her drink because she tells the bartender she doesn't have enough cash after she gets it. Fuck I never buy drinks, even for girls I like.
2 again
Back downstairs with my ex-oneitis again. I grab her like before and she lets go, then a second later turns around and grabs my hand and pulls me onto the dance floor. We grind for literally liike 30 seconds and then she turns and runs off again. This is a big sticking point for me: when you can't really lead, when do you follow, when do you wait, when do you move on? I never know how to handle this, or why she'd grab me to dance for 30 seconds for that matter.
Set 4
I open this girl who's waiting at the bar with God-knows-what. I can't really remember much of anything I said that night. She's about a 7.5. Tall, thin dirty-blond or burnette. Goes ok for a few seconds then her girlfriend intentionally screens me out with her body. Still bad at handling physical cockblocks...girl squeezes my hand when I grab hers as I walk away.
2 again
Ok this doesn't isn't really me doing anything but I go looking for HB9 again and she's dancing with someone else. Ok fine, she's blown off a ton of others guys trying to dance...I'll just wait....but he never goes away. I know this is my fault because this guy ended up in the position I could have been in (spending most of the night with HB9) but like I still don't know wtf to do when I can't keep a girl in one place or lead her around. Social butterfly syndrome is fucking hard to deal with. So anyway, that's my fail with my old one-itis. Sorry. Taking gorgeous girls away from guys they're into is so far out of my reality right now.
Strangely I didn't/don't care as much as I thought I would.
Set 5
For this one I was kinda still waiting/hoping for HB9 to blow that guy out. I just open the only other 9 downstairs, who just informs me that she has a boyfriend. Nice girl though, I talk to her a few more times briefly throughout the night.
Number 6
I really don't know what happened here. Sort of wish I could recall this one more clearly, it was really cool.
Basically this girl is really hot, knows it, and is one of those really out-there, in-your-face kind of girls. She's wearing skin-tight pants and something between a tube-top and a sports bra. I really like thin, sexy waists, so this is a big turn on for me.
I go up and grab her and within 10 seconds she jumps on me and wraps her legs around me. I carry her like that and talk with her for another 15 or 20 seconds, then conintue with us both standing. She's still all fucking over the place and there's so many guys trying to grab her away from me or cockblock me that I can't tell which ones she knows and which ones are random chodes. I've still got her 1 on 1 mostly but the circle of cockblocking chodes is expanding around us. She mentions wanting to check out the downstairs so I grab her hand and lead her.
I'm really turned on by this girl, which doesn't happen to me a lot in clubs cause I get in my head so much. I guess getting super touchy-feely with a half-naked 9 will do that.
I feel awesome leading her away by her hand...that is until she bumps into some fat girl and drops this light she was carrying. I wait while they find it on the floor and then suddenly everything changes. She won't hold my hand anymore and doesn't I can't really get anything out of her. This kind of thing happens to me all the fucking time. Why do girls just suddenly "switch" like this?
Four again
I see the 7.5dirtyblond girl downstairs without her cockblock friend and start chatting her up again. Lo and behold we go to the same school. Never seen her before. We go into all sorts of stuff over a good 20 minutes. The main thing I remember is talking about what each other look for asthetically in a guy/girl. I make sure she doesn't bite her nails and make sure her hair is closer to burnette than blond. Her sole qualification is "tall" despite me pressing for more. I guess I qualify at 6'5'' haha. Oh and also her middle and last name make the full name of a famous TV character.
Did I mention I lost my phone. Must have disapeared somewhere between that girl jumping on me and god knows what else. I put my number in her phone and she saves my name as like a whole sentence to make sure she remembers.
Lights turn on and I have question half of the club's staff to find my phone. She goes outside and waits for her friend. I finally get my phone and go out and talk with them. She likes me a lot. Her cockblock friend likes me a lot too. Turns out they have a hotel room, so I tell them my car is parked far away and it's on for me to come back to the hotel with them.
The walk there is a bit strange:
-I brush by a cop trying to get through club mobs. "watch where you're fucking going. What the fuck are you doing". Luckily I realize it's a cop before I say something stupid. I'd barely touched him. "Sorry, my bad". "You're not fucking sorry. Fuck you." Sigh, police.
-Maybe I'm missing out on an important part of city culture, because HBdirtyblond seems to know what's going on, but this dude dressed up in a costume who is apparently a "vigilante" is chasing down some random guy who pushed a girl. It's like that movie Kick-ass in real life. WTF.
-There's a fire on top of a building and smoke is going everywhere. HBdirtyblond calls the cops.
-Some dude in a really suspicious looking car tries to pick us up, pretending to be a taxi.
Anyway, we get back to the hotel and there's like 15 people in the room. It takes a good hour + another trip outside until it's finally just the 4 of us (her friend and guy + us) in the room. She's standoffish as fuck though. I know I'm becoming notorious for not closing, but it seems unbelievably clear that her friend really wants to get fucked and she really wants to be left alone. I'm not going to make any excuses though. Maybe I'm being naive as hell, since I definitely have been in the past, but the contrast with her friend was staggering.
I eventually leave and she texts me that she's sorry and she's just extremely tired and that she didn't want to "give me the wrong impression" =/
Could someone better at this have closed? Yep.
Could I have closed if we weren't in the same room as the other two? Probably.
Am I a little bitch who pulls but never closes? Absolutely.
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1. Despite not closing the deal with HB9oneitis or HBdirtyblond, I had a great time last night and learned a ton. I've never gotten past AA to the extent that I did last night. I pretty much talked to every really cute girl in the club and I never got in my head and couldn't get myself to approach. Definiately not beast mode, but a huge step up from my normal hesitation.
2. I get really frustrated with situations where I don't know what I should have done or have no idea what went wrong. How do you hang onto a social butterfly girl who's all over the place without clinging on and being needy (before you have that you + me thing going)? Why was that HB9 girl all over me for 5 minutes then suddenly brushes me off?
3. Surprisingly not upset about the whole ex-oneitis fail. I don't know. I don't really think she's any more special than the next cute girl.
4. I think I might try to find a new wing or just go out solo (which I do most of the time anyway). My current "wing" basically just joins all my sets and doesn't do anything positive. He has even more AA than me too, and it rubs off on me. More importantly though, I just don't enjoy being around him most of the time. I can enjoy just about anyone's company, but my "wing" pretty much seems incapable of vibing normally and just chilling out and having a good time. It's just sort of the epitome of incongruence and weirdness. I want to A) find someone who's cool to hang out with, B) Find someone who's a positive approach machine, or C) someone good. Otherwise, solo is just fine for me.
Cheers, and happy 2011 RSD. Gonna be a good year.
Cliff notes version: the night was crazy/awesome but didn't turn out how I'd hoped.
-------------------------------------
So unfortunately my "wing" fails at planning and our night is basically non-existent before 11. The girls go to dinner with the other group of guys (who are also my friends as it turns out) and we don't even get a parking spot until 10:30 and get to the club around 11. I'd have liked to go to a few bars beforehand but whatever.
The place is pretty sick. Tons of people already and I've got a pretty good buzz going. I decide to get the ball moving early:
First memorable set:
There's this attractive indian girl standing alone so there's no reason for me not to go. I do the standard "hi, I'm matt" thing and banter with her a bit. She's there with a married couple who seem to be completely cool with me chatting her up. Her english is really solid but there's still a little bit of cultural barrier for humor. She tells me she doesn't really know how to act in american clubs cause she doesn't go out much and has only been here for 2 years. Then she tells me she has a boyfriend... I talk with her another few seconds and tell her I'm gonna go find my friends.
Number 2
I see my ex-oneitis in the downstairs dance room and grab her. She sort of pulls away, then notices it's me and hugs me. I kind of underestimated how high-energy this place was. We squeeze in a few words as we move by each other and as we part I grab both her hands and tell her she looks amazing. "thanks" *smile*. She's looking for the other girls.
Numero Tres
Not wanting to leech on, I go upstairs to chat up other girls and get more momentum going. I see this girl standing alone and sort of weird her out asking why she's standing alone texting in the middle of a club. I stay in set though and find out she's legitimately a lesbian. Her sister comes in a starts talking to us and when I go to say something to her, her boyfriend steps in and sort of pushes me away from her. "yo that's my girl!". I laugh in off and explain that I'm talking to her sister. Sigh, chodes. Anyway, I wouldn't even like this girl if she were straight, but somehow she suckers me into paying for part of her drink because she tells the bartender she doesn't have enough cash after she gets it. Fuck I never buy drinks, even for girls I like.
2 again
Back downstairs with my ex-oneitis again. I grab her like before and she lets go, then a second later turns around and grabs my hand and pulls me onto the dance floor. We grind for literally liike 30 seconds and then she turns and runs off again. This is a big sticking point for me: when you can't really lead, when do you follow, when do you wait, when do you move on? I never know how to handle this, or why she'd grab me to dance for 30 seconds for that matter.
Set 4
I open this girl who's waiting at the bar with God-knows-what. I can't really remember much of anything I said that night. She's about a 7.5. Tall, thin dirty-blond or burnette. Goes ok for a few seconds then her girlfriend intentionally screens me out with her body. Still bad at handling physical cockblocks...girl squeezes my hand when I grab hers as I walk away.
2 again
Ok this doesn't isn't really me doing anything but I go looking for HB9 again and she's dancing with someone else. Ok fine, she's blown off a ton of others guys trying to dance...I'll just wait....but he never goes away. I know this is my fault because this guy ended up in the position I could have been in (spending most of the night with HB9) but like I still don't know wtf to do when I can't keep a girl in one place or lead her around. Social butterfly syndrome is fucking hard to deal with. So anyway, that's my fail with my old one-itis. Sorry. Taking gorgeous girls away from guys they're into is so far out of my reality right now.
Strangely I didn't/don't care as much as I thought I would.
Set 5
For this one I was kinda still waiting/hoping for HB9 to blow that guy out. I just open the only other 9 downstairs, who just informs me that she has a boyfriend. Nice girl though, I talk to her a few more times briefly throughout the night.
Number 6
I really don't know what happened here. Sort of wish I could recall this one more clearly, it was really cool.
Basically this girl is really hot, knows it, and is one of those really out-there, in-your-face kind of girls. She's wearing skin-tight pants and something between a tube-top and a sports bra. I really like thin, sexy waists, so this is a big turn on for me.
I go up and grab her and within 10 seconds she jumps on me and wraps her legs around me. I carry her like that and talk with her for another 15 or 20 seconds, then conintue with us both standing. She's still all fucking over the place and there's so many guys trying to grab her away from me or cockblock me that I can't tell which ones she knows and which ones are random chodes. I've still got her 1 on 1 mostly but the circle of cockblocking chodes is expanding around us. She mentions wanting to check out the downstairs so I grab her hand and lead her.
I'm really turned on by this girl, which doesn't happen to me a lot in clubs cause I get in my head so much. I guess getting super touchy-feely with a half-naked 9 will do that.
I feel awesome leading her away by her hand...that is until she bumps into some fat girl and drops this light she was carrying. I wait while they find it on the floor and then suddenly everything changes. She won't hold my hand anymore and doesn't I can't really get anything out of her. This kind of thing happens to me all the fucking time. Why do girls just suddenly "switch" like this?
Four again
I see the 7.5dirtyblond girl downstairs without her cockblock friend and start chatting her up again. Lo and behold we go to the same school. Never seen her before. We go into all sorts of stuff over a good 20 minutes. The main thing I remember is talking about what each other look for asthetically in a guy/girl. I make sure she doesn't bite her nails and make sure her hair is closer to burnette than blond. Her sole qualification is "tall" despite me pressing for more. I guess I qualify at 6'5'' haha. Oh and also her middle and last name make the full name of a famous TV character.
Did I mention I lost my phone. Must have disapeared somewhere between that girl jumping on me and god knows what else. I put my number in her phone and she saves my name as like a whole sentence to make sure she remembers.
Lights turn on and I have question half of the club's staff to find my phone. She goes outside and waits for her friend. I finally get my phone and go out and talk with them. She likes me a lot. Her cockblock friend likes me a lot too. Turns out they have a hotel room, so I tell them my car is parked far away and it's on for me to come back to the hotel with them.
The walk there is a bit strange:
-I brush by a cop trying to get through club mobs. "watch where you're fucking going. What the fuck are you doing". Luckily I realize it's a cop before I say something stupid. I'd barely touched him. "Sorry, my bad". "You're not fucking sorry. Fuck you." Sigh, police.
-Maybe I'm missing out on an important part of city culture, because HBdirtyblond seems to know what's going on, but this dude dressed up in a costume who is apparently a "vigilante" is chasing down some random guy who pushed a girl. It's like that movie Kick-ass in real life. WTF.
-There's a fire on top of a building and smoke is going everywhere. HBdirtyblond calls the cops.
-Some dude in a really suspicious looking car tries to pick us up, pretending to be a taxi.
Anyway, we get back to the hotel and there's like 15 people in the room. It takes a good hour + another trip outside until it's finally just the 4 of us (her friend and guy + us) in the room. She's standoffish as fuck though. I know I'm becoming notorious for not closing, but it seems unbelievably clear that her friend really wants to get fucked and she really wants to be left alone. I'm not going to make any excuses though. Maybe I'm being naive as hell, since I definitely have been in the past, but the contrast with her friend was staggering.
I eventually leave and she texts me that she's sorry and she's just extremely tired and that she didn't want to "give me the wrong impression" =/
Could someone better at this have closed? Yep.
Could I have closed if we weren't in the same room as the other two? Probably.
Am I a little bitch who pulls but never closes? Absolutely.
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1. Despite not closing the deal with HB9oneitis or HBdirtyblond, I had a great time last night and learned a ton. I've never gotten past AA to the extent that I did last night. I pretty much talked to every really cute girl in the club and I never got in my head and couldn't get myself to approach. Definiately not beast mode, but a huge step up from my normal hesitation.
2. I get really frustrated with situations where I don't know what I should have done or have no idea what went wrong. How do you hang onto a social butterfly girl who's all over the place without clinging on and being needy (before you have that you + me thing going)? Why was that HB9 girl all over me for 5 minutes then suddenly brushes me off?
3. Surprisingly not upset about the whole ex-oneitis fail. I don't know. I don't really think she's any more special than the next cute girl.
4. I think I might try to find a new wing or just go out solo (which I do most of the time anyway). My current "wing" basically just joins all my sets and doesn't do anything positive. He has even more AA than me too, and it rubs off on me. More importantly though, I just don't enjoy being around him most of the time. I can enjoy just about anyone's company, but my "wing" pretty much seems incapable of vibing normally and just chilling out and having a good time. It's just sort of the epitome of incongruence and weirdness. I want to A) find someone who's cool to hang out with, B) Find someone who's a positive approach machine, or C) someone good. Otherwise, solo is just fine for me.
Cheers, and happy 2011 RSD. Gonna be a good year.
__________________
Time for some news years resolutions, goals or whatever. Again, I'd like to thank everyone on RSD for helping out with this stuff. You guys have been awesome.
Last years goals went pretty well, although they were abstract so it's hard to say exactly how well. I met my pickup-related goals by continuing to go out consistently, not settling for "good enough", pushing through AA and working on developing closer, more meaningful friendships. My non-pickup related goals went even better: I'm eating extremely healthy, I'm on a regular workout schedule, still doing the things Iove (soccer almost every day), and I've made progress figuring out what I want to do with my life.
This year it'll be a little simpler and more focused. So without further ado:
Pickup-related Goals:
1. Push my comfort zone above all else. I've grown to believe that this is absolutely the essence of improving pickup, and just about any other area of life too. How I'm going to do it: acknowledge fear and push passed it. Always be willing to risk it all to get what I really want.
2. Start closing. It seems like I have a chance to close once a month now and always seem to let it slip. How I'm going to do it: Plow, escalate and approach enough girls that the numbers game works in my favor.
Other Goals:
1. Travel. How I'm going to do it: I'm almost done planning a 6 month trip to South America after I graduate.
2. Work more on solidifying what I want out of life and go get it. How I'm going to do it: travel a lot, look more into grad school, making money online and other work options.
3. Keep developing closer friendships. How I'm going to do it: give value, don't be afraid to let people in.
Cheers guys. It's gonna be an awesome year.
PS - I'd love to get feedback about the whole NYE ordeal. Give me constructive criticism or rip me a new one, it's all good.
Last years goals went pretty well, although they were abstract so it's hard to say exactly how well. I met my pickup-related goals by continuing to go out consistently, not settling for "good enough", pushing through AA and working on developing closer, more meaningful friendships. My non-pickup related goals went even better: I'm eating extremely healthy, I'm on a regular workout schedule, still doing the things Iove (soccer almost every day), and I've made progress figuring out what I want to do with my life.
This year it'll be a little simpler and more focused. So without further ado:
Pickup-related Goals:
1. Push my comfort zone above all else. I've grown to believe that this is absolutely the essence of improving pickup, and just about any other area of life too. How I'm going to do it: acknowledge fear and push passed it. Always be willing to risk it all to get what I really want.
2. Start closing. It seems like I have a chance to close once a month now and always seem to let it slip. How I'm going to do it: Plow, escalate and approach enough girls that the numbers game works in my favor.
Other Goals:
1. Travel. How I'm going to do it: I'm almost done planning a 6 month trip to South America after I graduate.
2. Work more on solidifying what I want out of life and go get it. How I'm going to do it: travel a lot, look more into grad school, making money online and other work options.
3. Keep developing closer friendships. How I'm going to do it: give value, don't be afraid to let people in.
Cheers guys. It's gonna be an awesome year.
PS - I'd love to get feedback about the whole NYE ordeal. Give me constructive criticism or rip me a new one, it's all good.
__________________
man, we need an update
__________________
Road To The Year 2012
The Coolest 21-year-old Man In Finland.
The Most Dangerous Guy To Woman In Finland
The Most Unreactive 21yearer In Finland
Living in Abundance.
Watch out overseas, i'm coming.
The Coolest 21-year-old Man In Finland.
The Most Dangerous Guy To Woman In Finland
The Most Unreactive 21yearer In Finland
Living in Abundance.
Watch out overseas, i'm coming.
Yeah...I know.
So here's what happened. I had a rough night two weeks ago and, being drunk at 2 am, ended up fucking my ex girlfriend.
The only bright side here is she told me later she'd 100% made up her mind that she wasn't gonna have sex with me that night. So blasting LMR success?!
Unfortunately that was the only positive. I felt bad because she thought I it all meant I really cared about her, so we jumped back into seeing each other again even though it was really just me being drunk and frustrated with pickup. We don't work though and we got in a fight tonight because I'm sick of actively trying not to hurt her feelings, aka apologizing for something I actually mean.
I'm really just annoyed with myself that I just gave in because I hadn't had sex in a while and I was frustrated. It's not going to last long though because I'm not going to put up with her shit. I'm not going to be nice to avoid hurting her feelings and maintain a relationship I don't want to be in.
Fuck...
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While I'm at it, I have to say I'm really frustrated with this college scene. There aren't any frats or parties with a bunch of random slutty girls looking to get fucked. At the bars, it seems like no one pulls and everyone knows each other, including me. I guess I'm just whinning though because on some level I'm still concerned about my social standing. For now I'll just keep on trucking though.
Spring quarter should be interesting because me and a few of my friends are doing an American-pie-type bucket list before we graduate, like kissing random girls and getting numbers from big groups at the dinning hall. Going out with a bang =)
Cheers, I'll get some new field reports up soon. Feedback on new years would be sweet though.
So here's what happened. I had a rough night two weeks ago and, being drunk at 2 am, ended up fucking my ex girlfriend.
The only bright side here is she told me later she'd 100% made up her mind that she wasn't gonna have sex with me that night. So blasting LMR success?!
Unfortunately that was the only positive. I felt bad because she thought I it all meant I really cared about her, so we jumped back into seeing each other again even though it was really just me being drunk and frustrated with pickup. We don't work though and we got in a fight tonight because I'm sick of actively trying not to hurt her feelings, aka apologizing for something I actually mean.
I'm really just annoyed with myself that I just gave in because I hadn't had sex in a while and I was frustrated. It's not going to last long though because I'm not going to put up with her shit. I'm not going to be nice to avoid hurting her feelings and maintain a relationship I don't want to be in.
Fuck...
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While I'm at it, I have to say I'm really frustrated with this college scene. There aren't any frats or parties with a bunch of random slutty girls looking to get fucked. At the bars, it seems like no one pulls and everyone knows each other, including me. I guess I'm just whinning though because on some level I'm still concerned about my social standing. For now I'll just keep on trucking though.
Spring quarter should be interesting because me and a few of my friends are doing an American-pie-type bucket list before we graduate, like kissing random girls and getting numbers from big groups at the dinning hall. Going out with a bang =)
Cheers, I'll get some new field reports up soon. Feedback on new years would be sweet though.
__________________
How's this for random?
So there's this gay guy in one of my classes who's pretty hilarious/cool. He added me on facebook a few days ago, and I just got a message today asking if I want to be set up with one of his girl friends. Wierd huh? I don't even know him that well.
Anyway, I told him I'm open to it but I'm really picky and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings (just in case he drops a grenade on me). Should be interesting.
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Been out a few times too and haven't really done much.
Cheers
So there's this gay guy in one of my classes who's pretty hilarious/cool. He added me on facebook a few days ago, and I just got a message today asking if I want to be set up with one of his girl friends. Wierd huh? I don't even know him that well.
Anyway, I told him I'm open to it but I'm really picky and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings (just in case he drops a grenade on me). Should be interesting.
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Been out a few times too and haven't really done much.
Cheers
__________________
You've just gotta let it out with the gfs, exgfs.. whatever they are. I'ts amazing how much honesty (instead of trying to avoid hurting feelings) has done for me.
__________________
http://www.kennyg9.com
Lessons in Self Destruction
Be a more awesome and authentic man: Adventures, Articles, and Rebirth.
Bob Marley Quotes
Lessons in Self Destruction
Be a more awesome and authentic man: Adventures, Articles, and Rebirth.
Bob Marley Quotes
Man it's nice having something to write about here.
I went out around 10:30 with my tall asian buddy. We get a pitcher each and stand around a bit. I'm gonna try to go out with girls more, there's never anything to talk about when it's just two guys. The bar we're at is the usual social college bar. Terrible for cold approach but cheap beer, good for getting in the mood and good for talking with friends and people you sort of know.
I start off talking to this girl from one of my classes. She's my friend's ex and cute but I'd probably have to be really drunk to hook up with her. Somewhere between a 6 and a 7. I blow the guy out she's talking to immediately (total eclipse of the chode!) and start talking with her. Her 19 year old friend with a fake shows up a minute later and I vibe with both of them. Girls are actually easier to talk to then guys sometime lol, chatting 1 on 1 with a guy is fucking boring. This is pretty much just a momentum builder for me, so I get them laughing and do pretty well overall.
This is what I'm here for though. I knew there was a reason I went out tonight. This girl:
Dear God she's hot. This is like my fucking dream girl haha. But seriously, if I had to pick one girl at my college of 15,000 people...yup.
I smile at her and stop her while she's walking.
Me: "hey, I know you"
Her: "hey!"
Me: xxxx right?
Her: matt? (I'm seriously shocked she remembered)
Me: i have to apologize lol *big smile this whole time*
Her: for what?
Me; that was kind of weird in the gym
Her: no, I mean..(I forget)
Me: you have to admit that I kind of awkward
Her: *laughs pretty hard* well maybe haha, but you know
Me: yeah haha, I don't normally do that kind of thing but
Her: haha well I was just working out
Me: well I certainly wouldn't want to cut into your workout time haha
Her: haha *she moves not like she's trying to get away, but almost like I do when I'm not sure what to say and don't want to stand awkwardly in front of someone*
Me: speaking of which, I wouldn't to cut into your drinking time either
Her: hahaha ok, well nice talking with you. Make sure to say hi
Or something like that. I don't know if I have a chance, but I'm gonna go for it anyway. I want this girl so bad it's unbelievable.
I go to the club place for a bit and don't end up doing much but hanging out with my friends and cute girls I already know. I go back to the first place a bit later and chill with my old roommates and some of my other really good friends. I feel like I've been out of the loop for a few weeks and it was really nice to catch up with everyone and have a few laughs.
This HB8 girl from a few pages back in coming over next week to make me dinner so I'll try something there. Also planning to meet up with the girl my gay friend is trying to set me up with, but I'm not gonna get my hopes up too high for that. Things are looking up.
----------------------------------------------------------------
1. Somehow I need to drill into my brain that with most of these girls, I'm in it for the process and the outcome doesn't matter. I'm talking to cute girl to get the gorgeous girl, so whether 7s like me or not is of no consequence.
2. I wish I could keep the motivation I have right now constantly in my head. Right now I'd honestly do whatever it takes, but down the road I inevitably find myself back in my comfort zone, taking the easy route. I feel like I want a gaurantee though, which is kind of weird. It's like "promise me if I do 2000 approaches I'll get girls like that". Or maybe just have it work out right now...
Cheers guys. Sorry for the time lapse...not giving up any time soon.
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I went out around 10:30 with my tall asian buddy. We get a pitcher each and stand around a bit. I'm gonna try to go out with girls more, there's never anything to talk about when it's just two guys. The bar we're at is the usual social college bar. Terrible for cold approach but cheap beer, good for getting in the mood and good for talking with friends and people you sort of know.
I start off talking to this girl from one of my classes. She's my friend's ex and cute but I'd probably have to be really drunk to hook up with her. Somewhere between a 6 and a 7. I blow the guy out she's talking to immediately (total eclipse of the chode!) and start talking with her. Her 19 year old friend with a fake shows up a minute later and I vibe with both of them. Girls are actually easier to talk to then guys sometime lol, chatting 1 on 1 with a guy is fucking boring. This is pretty much just a momentum builder for me, so I get them laughing and do pretty well overall.
This is what I'm here for though. I knew there was a reason I went out tonight. This girl:
Day game. [last May]
So every day when I work out I see this girl. HB9, totally my type. Skinny, gorgeous-without-makeup burnette. I'm always afraid to talk to her though because of the social circle stuff, the fact that she's always got her headphones in, not wanting to fuck it up, etc.
Anyway, today I decide that I've gotta give it a shot. Only a few weeks left of school so it's now or never.
So I'm running laps around the indoor track, sort of waiting for an opportunity. Was feeling really good before, but start to get a ton of approach anxiety. She's doing abs on one of the mats in the corner, so eventually I go over there.
Me: *touch her, she takes her headphones off* hey, I see you every day in here. I'm Matt.
Her: ____
Me: I just wanted to come meet you, I think you're really cute
Her: *blushes* thanks
Me: *pause, sit down by her* where'd you get the shirt? (it's an "intramural champs" shirt. I have the same one)
Her: oh it's not mine, a friend gave it to me
Me: hah, you gotta have a better story than that. like you won something cool
Her: what like pickleball?
Me: haha something like that, I've got one of those from soccer......so do you play any sport then?
Her: I used to play basketball
Me: what happened?
Her: just stopped playing, don't really like competing.
Me: I'm definitely still into competition. Got soccer finals tonight.
Her: cool....well, good luck *smiles*
Me: ...listen, this is kind of random, but are you single?
Her: ...it's complicated....yeah, well, no I'm not, really.
Me: alright, nice meeting you then. I'll see you around. ____ right?
Her: yeah. matt?
Me: yeah *shake hands again and leave*
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1. Didn't go quite how I'd hoped, but it's funny, I always feel so much better after actually doing it, regardless of the outcome.
2. Still kinda struggle with what to say if they don't really light up. She did a little, but not like the ones who are really interested do. Probably should have just asked her to coffee or something rather than whether she was single. Lots of people have complicated stuff going on, but would be willing to try something else.
3. As long as you're not creepy, approaches like this really don't cause social issues like so many people are afraid of. When we see each other from now on, it's just gonna be like if we had a project together or met through mutual friends. The smile, the wave, etc. Really no negative social reprecussions.
So every day when I work out I see this girl. HB9, totally my type. Skinny, gorgeous-without-makeup burnette. I'm always afraid to talk to her though because of the social circle stuff, the fact that she's always got her headphones in, not wanting to fuck it up, etc.
Anyway, today I decide that I've gotta give it a shot. Only a few weeks left of school so it's now or never.
So I'm running laps around the indoor track, sort of waiting for an opportunity. Was feeling really good before, but start to get a ton of approach anxiety. She's doing abs on one of the mats in the corner, so eventually I go over there.
Me: *touch her, she takes her headphones off* hey, I see you every day in here. I'm Matt.
Her: ____
Me: I just wanted to come meet you, I think you're really cute
Her: *blushes* thanks
Me: *pause, sit down by her* where'd you get the shirt? (it's an "intramural champs" shirt. I have the same one)
Her: oh it's not mine, a friend gave it to me
Me: hah, you gotta have a better story than that. like you won something cool
Her: what like pickleball?
Me: haha something like that, I've got one of those from soccer......so do you play any sport then?
Her: I used to play basketball
Me: what happened?
Her: just stopped playing, don't really like competing.
Me: I'm definitely still into competition. Got soccer finals tonight.
Her: cool....well, good luck *smiles*
Me: ...listen, this is kind of random, but are you single?
Her: ...it's complicated....yeah, well, no I'm not, really.
Me: alright, nice meeting you then. I'll see you around. ____ right?
Her: yeah. matt?
Me: yeah *shake hands again and leave*
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1. Didn't go quite how I'd hoped, but it's funny, I always feel so much better after actually doing it, regardless of the outcome.
2. Still kinda struggle with what to say if they don't really light up. She did a little, but not like the ones who are really interested do. Probably should have just asked her to coffee or something rather than whether she was single. Lots of people have complicated stuff going on, but would be willing to try something else.
3. As long as you're not creepy, approaches like this really don't cause social issues like so many people are afraid of. When we see each other from now on, it's just gonna be like if we had a project together or met through mutual friends. The smile, the wave, etc. Really no negative social reprecussions.
Dear God she's hot. This is like my fucking dream girl haha. But seriously, if I had to pick one girl at my college of 15,000 people...yup.
I smile at her and stop her while she's walking.
Me: "hey, I know you"
Her: "hey!"
Me: xxxx right?
Her: matt? (I'm seriously shocked she remembered)
Me: i have to apologize lol *big smile this whole time*
Her: for what?
Me; that was kind of weird in the gym
Her: no, I mean..(I forget)
Me: you have to admit that I kind of awkward
Her: *laughs pretty hard* well maybe haha, but you know
Me: yeah haha, I don't normally do that kind of thing but
Her: haha well I was just working out
Me: well I certainly wouldn't want to cut into your workout time haha
Her: haha *she moves not like she's trying to get away, but almost like I do when I'm not sure what to say and don't want to stand awkwardly in front of someone*
Me: speaking of which, I wouldn't to cut into your drinking time either
Her: hahaha ok, well nice talking with you. Make sure to say hi
Or something like that. I don't know if I have a chance, but I'm gonna go for it anyway. I want this girl so bad it's unbelievable.
I go to the club place for a bit and don't end up doing much but hanging out with my friends and cute girls I already know. I go back to the first place a bit later and chill with my old roommates and some of my other really good friends. I feel like I've been out of the loop for a few weeks and it was really nice to catch up with everyone and have a few laughs.
This HB8 girl from a few pages back in coming over next week to make me dinner so I'll try something there. Also planning to meet up with the girl my gay friend is trying to set me up with, but I'm not gonna get my hopes up too high for that. Things are looking up.
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1. Somehow I need to drill into my brain that with most of these girls, I'm in it for the process and the outcome doesn't matter. I'm talking to cute girl to get the gorgeous girl, so whether 7s like me or not is of no consequence.
2. I wish I could keep the motivation I have right now constantly in my head. Right now I'd honestly do whatever it takes, but down the road I inevitably find myself back in my comfort zone, taking the easy route. I feel like I want a gaurantee though, which is kind of weird. It's like "promise me if I do 2000 approaches I'll get girls like that". Or maybe just have it work out right now...
Cheers guys. Sorry for the time lapse...not giving up any time soon.
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Only read the last page or two of your journal (you have a lot of reports posted man, good on you). Just a few things I wanted to comment on,
"Somehow I need to drill into my brain that with most of these girls, I'm in it for the process and the outcome doesn't matter. I'm talking to cute girl to get the gorgeous girl, so whether 7s like me or not is of no consequence." - Awesome way of putting it, something Im struggling with alot and couldnt really put into words why these girls reactions shouldnt affect me so much, but that sentence is pretty succinct.
I feel awesome leading her away by her hand...that is until she bumps into some fat girl and drops this light she was carrying. I wait while they find it on the floor and then suddenly everything changes. She won't hold my hand anymore and doesn't I can't really get anything out of her. This kind of thing happens to me all the fucking time. Why do girls just suddenly "switch" like this?
This happens me a bit too, for me it seems to be she's happy to be with me before her mate comes. Im in college / uni as well and I find that girls are more likely to stay with you if their friend is with a guy as well, like it seems really important to them, so having a selfless wingman could well be the key here. Although if you have noted any other way to get around this problem Id love to hear it.
Enjoyed reading this anyway, Keep at it.
"Somehow I need to drill into my brain that with most of these girls, I'm in it for the process and the outcome doesn't matter. I'm talking to cute girl to get the gorgeous girl, so whether 7s like me or not is of no consequence." - Awesome way of putting it, something Im struggling with alot and couldnt really put into words why these girls reactions shouldnt affect me so much, but that sentence is pretty succinct.
I feel awesome leading her away by her hand...that is until she bumps into some fat girl and drops this light she was carrying. I wait while they find it on the floor and then suddenly everything changes. She won't hold my hand anymore and doesn't I can't really get anything out of her. This kind of thing happens to me all the fucking time. Why do girls just suddenly "switch" like this?
This happens me a bit too, for me it seems to be she's happy to be with me before her mate comes. Im in college / uni as well and I find that girls are more likely to stay with you if their friend is with a guy as well, like it seems really important to them, so having a selfless wingman could well be the key here. Although if you have noted any other way to get around this problem Id love to hear it.
Enjoyed reading this anyway, Keep at it.
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Hey man, thanks for the comment.
I'm as confused as anyone when it comes to girls just "switching" or "going cold" all of a sudden. I've definitely seen where girls see their friends hooking up and that makes them want to find someone, but then over xmas break the girl I was trying with seemed to have the exact opposite reaction (it's a page or two back). The girl from new years didn't seem to be out with any other girls, so that wasn't it there either.
I guess it's best to stop analyzing and just do your best to deal with it.
Cheers man
I'm as confused as anyone when it comes to girls just "switching" or "going cold" all of a sudden. I've definitely seen where girls see their friends hooking up and that makes them want to find someone, but then over xmas break the girl I was trying with seemed to have the exact opposite reaction (it's a page or two back). The girl from new years didn't seem to be out with any other girls, so that wasn't it there either.
I guess it's best to stop analyzing and just do your best to deal with it.
Cheers man
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Matt281
Trusted Member
Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 1471
So during the whole course of this journal (2 years to the day tomorrow) there's been two girls that I've really had the one-itis thing for. You know, when you're crazy about a girl you haven't slept with. One was converse girl a year ago, and the other was, well, this girl. If you look back to the first page (and throughout the first couple pages, it's the HB9 girl who kept showing interest but I was too scared to escalate with. Two years later, I now know this guy was spot on:
So I basically fucked up royally and missed my chance. Re-reading that field report makes me want to go back in time and slap myself.
Long story short, my friends and I are having dinner with her and her roommates on new years, then we're all going clubing together...and she's single again. I'm super excited because I know I have the ability to close this time, but I'm nervous as fuck because I really don't want to screw up or chode out. I KNOW I can close her now if I get a chance, but I also know it's likely I'll have to MAKE a chance this time.
Whew. I'm buzzing!
Cheers
My Approach Journal | My 1000th Post