THE FORUMS

October 23rd, 2018
Matt281
Your rating: None Average: 4.8 (45 votes)
Bookmark and Share

Brother

Senior Member

Join Date: 06/22/2013 | Posts: 220

I love how I've become your excuse for everything lol:

"Her: is that Brother who keeps txting you?"

Maybe you should of used me as an excuse one more time:

"So why is this such a big deal for you anyway? Why is it so important to fuck random girls?"

Ya i dont know baby,  freaking brother is out of his god daam mind... lol

Also after going out with you the first time I rememeber one of the first things you said and would always repeat was how much you JUST wanted really hot girls. I thought it was hilarious...

I rarely read ur shit cuz we talk and go out so much I feel like I know what's going on but its definitely interesting reading ur thougths. Its always a different perspective. Anyways I like how ur hella into game but have always kept thinking for urself intsead of as the community. What people want out of the game long term is different and unique to that individual. In essence keep trusting your instincts, they've led you well so far to make the right decisons for YOU.

Got nothing but love for u Matty and i'll call u b4 I leave
__________________
 
Login or register to post.
adjunkie

adjunkie

Respected Member

Join Date: 11/27/2006 | Posts: 720

Matt281 wrote:
 Thanks everyone. Even though RSD is fucking huge, I feel like the field reports forum is it's own little subsection of people who are ACTUALLY GOING TO GET GOOD. Such good feedback here and literally every topic is a gem. Thats the thing though -- do you come to RSD for entertainment, or results? If you haven't started a topic on here yet, what are you waiting for? :)

---------------------

Quick update. 

So like Knoxville said, this is going to be interesting. It's going to be hard to find a balance where we don't just wanna fuck each other again immediately, but we still keep in touch. It's really hard to just take a step back. We'll see -- I hope it can be done. 

That being said, the whole ordeal definitely brought up some thoughts for me. 

One thing she asked that hit me particularly hard for some reason was this: "So why is this such a big deal for you anyway? Why is it so important to fuck random girls?" 

Kind of caught me off guard. Also got me thinking... yeah... why?? That's really hard to answer. 

On the surface level, it's partially because of how hot my new cherish girl is and how much I enjoy fucking her. It's weird because I think if I wanted to fuck the girl I just "broke up" with as bad as her, I think exclusivity would be just fine. I just couldn't see giving up that kind of sex. I think that for me to be in a committed relationship, I'd have to have both those things. A girl who I clicked with like the girl who asked me that question, where sex is good enough that I don't really miss the random encounters.

But that's only part of it.

"Why is this such a big deal for you anyway?"

I think there's a lot more going on here that I may not even be fully aware of. One thing is that game has basically always be one of my primary vehicles for improving my life. It's also something that plays a roll in how I define myself, for better or for worse. 

Honestly, on some level, I'm fucking scared to be in a relationship because I'm scared that getting out of game will make me less likely to end up with the same quality of girl that I would have if I stayed in. It's a weird mindset, but all I know is there have been a lot of times in my life where I've thought "man, if I could just be with that girl I'd be set". Now I look back on that and think WHAT A FUCKING JOKE LOL. I wouldn't even date most of the girls I was dying to be with back in the day. I'm worried that if I get into a relationship now, it won't be the same quality of girl that I could get in 5 years, just like I never could have had girls like I have now when I was 20. And I'm worried that will slow me down in reaching the level where I am dating the coolest, sweetest, most badass stunner girls. 

It's actually kind of a fucked up mindset. But that's where I am. 

On the flip side, I could just miss the most amazing girl ever because I'm so wrapped up in the game. Gotta be careful of that too I guess.

I don't know if I'm a bit misguided or what. But I know that in some way my involvement in the game has taken me from being hopeless with girls to being a guy who's "everything they want" (got that one a few times now). It's not just "learning the game", but really the lessons it teaches you about dedication, positivity, abundance, bootstrapping positive emotions, emotional understanding, mental toughness and so on. It's had so many positive influences on my life that I'm afraid to let it go, even if at some point it's the best. 

But at some point I'm going to let it all go for the right girl. That's still what I want in the end. I've had more crazy experiences and fucked more gorgeous girls than I ever would have dreamed of 5 years ago, and I've enjoyed every second of it. But I'm not going to be a "lifer" in the game. I'll drop it all when the time's right.

... just not yet ;)

Cheers



Damn bro.  This really resonates with me.  I've put a lot of thought into the same issue, only coming from the other side of being in the relationship.

What it came down to for me was this.  It wasn't about the sex.  Sex with random girls is fucking awesome.  But it doesn't change your life.  It doesn't make you a better person. 

What does make you a better person is the process.  The game.  That's what I missed the most.  It was something I didn't (and still don't) know if I'd want to live my life without.

As far as getting out of the game and losing it.  Sure, it happens.  But, there's no way it's permanent.  I feel like I'm starting back at square one, going out and having trouble even hooking sets.. BUT, I'm pretty sure if I want it, and if I put the work in, I can get it back much quicker than learning it the first time around.  It does suck to lose it though.

What makes up for losing it, on the otherhand, is falling in love.  Man, that is one of the best feelings in this entire world.  I try to experience the best of life- crazy adrenaline rushes, the coolest toys, the most amazing food.  It all pales in comparison to that feeling of being in love.

The thing is, it doesn't really matter.  You're going to be growing no matter what you end up doing, because that's the type of person you are- a badass motherfucker to the core.  
__________________
Tyler/ Julien Bootcamp Alum- July 2011 

Field Reports www.rsdnation.com/node/166276/forum

Alexander Videos w/ Notes www.rsdnation.com/node/218183
Login or register to post.
dave7-

dave7-

Trusted Member

Join Date: 05/14/2012 | Posts: 3708

 I think the "being upfront about banging other girls" is tough...I prefer the "don't really mention it and if she ever says anything then say 'I never considered us as exlcusive'" strategy. 

Then hopefully she says (defensively) "oh I never thought us as exclusive either" (some kind of anti-slut defense). 

Seriously, think about it. :)
Login or register to post.
AustinCC

AustinCC

Respected Member

Join Date: 03/24/2011 | Posts: 566

dave7- wrote:
 I think the "being upfront about banging other girls" is tough...I prefer the "don't really mention it and if she ever says anything then say 'I never considered us as exlcusive'" strategy. 

Then hopefully she says (defensively) "oh I never thought us as exclusive either" (some kind of anti-slut defense). 

Seriously, think about it. :)

I assume the girls I'm dating know I'm always talking to other girls. I've tried the first one too many times and have been burned. the fact of the matter is, they don't want to know about other girls unless they're into other girls. 

with the second part, if a girl says that, from there i could see the relationship going downhill. she would slowly distance herself, eventually find another guy she likes and stop communication all together. 

but there are girls you can provide just the right of awesome to, who don't want to leave you even if they acknowledge you're fucking other girls. those ones are keepers. those ones are ok with you just the way you are. 
__________________
 "I talked to him for about 20 minutes cause he's in set all night long. Would have his babies tho." - Spike  
Login or register to post.

austinguy989

Member

Join Date: 01/18/2012 | Posts: 81

If I walk like a player, dress like a player, talk like a player, act like a player (kind of douchey and arrogant), then it's on the girl. If I'm being authentic and real even when I'm not interested in her, then it's on me.
Login or register to post.

Deja

Junior Member

Join Date: 07/02/2008 | Posts: 6

alot of discussions about this... but matt, has she hooked up with any other guys during this time? A lot of girls do this, they will say they want exclusivity, but will still play the field till the guy gives confirmation, somethimes they will deny this too... but I say this partly b/c I've seen you talk about how much it would hurt her if she found out about other girls b4, would you be hurt had u known about other guys? but yeah....
Login or register to post.
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

 Thanks everyone. I want to respond to everyone but I just don't have it in me :P 

Deja -- No she hasn't been with anyone. But she might now. Honestly I don't think she'd do it, but you never know. I'm okay with it either way.

----------------------------------------------------------

Speaking of which, we talked again today and I think it's for real this time: open relationship. 

We set some rules (no hooking up with each other's friends. keep it out of the other person's face, etc etc). Maybe I'm naive but I think that this will work. It's cool. I'm glad.

We'd been txting all week and I think we both realize we really wanted to make this work. I'm happy :)

Cheers
Login or register to post.
WhoSays

WhoSays

Member

Join Date: 03/22/2013 | Posts: 61

Always love reading your stuff Matt.

Especially the last few pages have some insane value, and are really refreshing to read- good to know there are actually some humans that do this, rather than machines.

Will be joining you guys with journals once I pass my driving test (fingers crossed). Gonna be tough as a newbie, aged 18, solo.. #babysteps
__________________
My Journey: /node/744904
Login or register to post.
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

 ^Thanks man. Good luck :)

-------------------------------------

Last weekend was pretty slow. Didn't do much on Friday and on Saturday I was out with some work friends for most of the night. Funny how much going to the bars like "regular guys" do fucking sucks. Just spend a lot of money on drinks and hope a girl jumps on your dick once a year.

Spent the end of Saturday night all most of Sunday with my "girlfriend". I realized that the biggest problem for her turned out to be her friends, because they talk shit, subtly suggest she's a and then constantly try to hook her up with others guys because she's in an "open relationship". She was really upset Saturday night. 

I think that all you guys who have girlfriends who let you fuck other girls need to appreciate how much it takes for them to deal with the social pressure. Not an easy thing to do. It would be like telling all your friends that you're gay, except not as a predisposition. 

But anyway, things are going strong. It helps that her friends are typically going to be emotional leaves in the wind, and if you're a strong centered person she can trust and rely on you. 

We fucked like 7 times in 12 hours. Good to be doing that again :)

--------------------------------------

I was basically on a week of no sex since my stunner cherish was off in the Bahamas. Gotta get things going again with her too.

Also still want to stick hard in the game. Sucks to feel your game slipping after a few weeks off. 

Cheers
Login or register to post.
Matt281

Matt281

Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

Tuesday

Stunner cherish txts me at like 11. I go out and meet her and her friends at the bars at midnight. It's pretty awkward actually. 

I've noticed that my confidence is still largely situationally -- which is generally just fine. I think it's better to just accept that you're not going to be "on" all the time and not be bothered by it one way or the other. I think that's one of the main reasons that I haven't really been frustrated at all lately: because I don't attribute this kind of stuff to something "lacking" in me. 

That being said, I do need to remember to kind of "turn it on" at certain times. It's important to make a good impression on a girls' friends, even if you don't give a shit about them. 

Anyway, we leave the friends 45 minutes later with the intention of going back to my place.

She's just had two more shots and apparently that pushed her over the edge. We walk like 3/4 of a mile to her car that ISN'T ACTUALLY THERE, then all the way back to my car and I take her home. 

We fuck once and I take her back to her car in the morning.

Wednesday

I wrap up with soccer at like 11 and go meet her out again. I bring 2 friends this time.

This night is even more of a shit show. 

She's been talking with this other dude before I get there and he gets her number later in the night. With girls I'm pulling I tend to just ignore this shit and just make sure I'm with her at the end of the night, but this one threw me out of state a bit. I mean, I've been fucking this girl for a few weeks and just fucked her last night. 

Again, same sort of lesson as the night before: it's important not to get all bent out of shape about not being in state all the time, but at the same time you need to KEEP BEING THAT GUY FOR HER. Hot girls go for shiny objects, and if you're coasting and being boring, I guess it makes sense that she'll do that kind of stuff.

I was still a little bit surprised that she'd do that, and how it made me feel. I guess I probably make girls feel like that sometimes, but it's amazing how shameless girls are about it. Makes me laugh at all the times I've avoided approaching to avoid hurting some random girls' feelings.

----------------------------------------------

Anyway, her gay friend is REALLY fucking drunk. 

We spend 45 minutes getting him back to the car, then take him back to my place and plop him on the floor along with something to puke in.

I fuck my girl raw and then I'm horny again 15 minutes later and she licks my dick clean and I come in her mouth. 

#livingthedream

We chat in bed for like an hour. Still amazed that the "I'm not sure if you really like me" theme still comes up subtly for her. 

They just left about 15 minutes ago.

============================================================

1. Like I mentioned before, the big thing is just find a balance between always "being that guy" for her, but not walking on eggshells feeling like I have to always be perfect and be in state. I actually remember talking with Cat about that specifically when he was with his last girlfriend. At the time he almost felt like he couldn't hang out with her at specific times because he wasn't feeling at his best. 

I think that, especially in a relationship, it's really important to be OKAY with not being perfect all the time. If a girl only likes you because you're fun when you're in state, then that's a problem. However, it's also important not to fall into the trap of the standard boyfriend, who seems to think: "okay, got the girl, now I can continue being a useless fuck and hopefully we'll stay together". The burden is still on you: if she's fucking around, you're just not quite giving her something she needs. But at the same time, believe you're enough and trust that she'll like you just for you.

Cheers
Login or register to post.