THE FORUMS

January 17th, 2018
Matt281
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Cat

Cat

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Join Date: 12/03/2010 | Posts: 2303

I think about this in the exact same way. I'd encourage you to think of women as people and of men as people. This is a people game.

Nothing wrong with giving a shit about other people. Your friends, your family, you're loved ones.

I think you are buying too much into the pickup mysogyny, sexy machine. But whatever works for you. I'd just say there is a far more ...human response / way of thinking that Matt281 is articulating here really well.

Like these types of "mini discussions".
-Cat

Matt281 wrote:

SexyMachine wrote:
LULzzz, this girl's got youby the ballz dude, laugh at yourself, ridicule yourself.  Respect to the girl, she's playing her girl game well.  Didn't you write few months ago, how you couldn't get into a relationship with this girl because she wasn't hot enough?  Now, she's your "girlfriend"? Worst part, you spent 6 hours "talking" to this chick and you didn't even get laid?  First, she's got you hooked and spending all the time with her.  Then, she has the "talk" and makes you call her your "girlfriend".  Now, she's demanding you go "exclusive".  What the fuck do you think will happen next?  This chick has you on a compliance ladder and she's doing a great job of getting you to comply to her bullshit.

I don't like giving "advice" because that's not my thing.  But, as your DAD, what the fuck are you doing?  How can you take this shit seriously?  You're just starting to get consistent and fucking hotter girls and you're gonna give that up because why?  It's your life dude, do what you want.  But, I'll say this, if there's even a sliver of doubt about this chick, and you've got enough game down to pull hotter girls, what the fuck are you doing taking this shit seriously?

You're a cool dude, but I will laugh at your face and ridicule your ass if you give into this chick's demands and fall into her compliance ladder.  I'll chalk it up to another casualty in "the game".  And, I'll laugh even harder when I see you back out in the field couple of years from now, all broken up and shit.  

Rant over.  I think you'll make the "right" decision.

P. S. 

The biggest lesson is NEVER say shit to girls about your business.  She doesn't need to know. Let girls dwell in their fantasy about the kind of relationship they have. And, disregard the "talk". Nothing good ever comes from having the "talk".
Matt281 wrote:



She has me by the balls? No, who has me by the balls is the stunner who was cupping them while I came into her mouth last night. 

I get it man. This community is full of guys who get jaded with pickup and just want something to cling onto. Believe me, I've seen it a million times. But this isn't at all what's going on here. I LIKE this girl as a PERSON. Not enough to drop the game and stop fucking other girls, but enough that I genuinely care about her and enjoy spending time with her, even outside of having sex.

I mean look at this: Worst part, you spent 6 hours "talking" to this chick and you didn't even get laid? 

Do you realize how fucked up that mindset is? I mean, to each his own I guess. But if girls are just warm holes to you, I don't think that's a good place to be. 

I care about this girl in the same way I care about my friends, and I'd sure as hell be willing to sit down for a couple hours to talk about shit with one of my good friends if it came up. Yes, even if I wasn't going to get laid. 

I'm not going to be exclusive with this girl; I think that was pretty clear from my last post. But it's still going to bother me a lot if we end it because of this. Again, it's not about the sex. For fucks sake, the girl I think about when I jack off and the girl I fucked last night ARE THE SAME GIRL. Sex is not an issue.

But this girl is a badass chick and I fucking love spending time with her. 

Maybe you can't relate. That's cool. But that's where I'm at.

Cheers

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longhorn

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Join Date: 07/11/2008 | Posts: 130

Matt281 wrote:
 Friday

So apparently my "girlfriend" is now NOT cool with me fucking other girls. That was quick.

Basically I went over there to her place to hang out for an hour, which turned into a ~6 hour talk. Apparently at first it wasn't clear to her exactly what I was doing, then when she got a better idea of what's happened already she got pretty upset. It was really weird because she's been cool with it 2 or 3 different times, then flipped back an hour or two later. I thought I sorted it out for good this morning, but then she talked to her friends/family and it got bad again.

Anyway, we've been txting all day. I don't really know what's going to happen. Definitely learning a lot. I'm starting to lean towards the "be really fucking clear up front" method. It's hard to know how to handle this kind of stuff. 

We're kind of at a standstill right now, because she REALLY doesn't want to lose me, but she's also not down okay with me fucking other girls. And I'm obviously not cool with being monogomous right now. 

-------------------------------------

I'm not really sure how to feel. I feel like I should be more upset than I am. Maybe it just hasn't hit me yet that this could all completely end. I feel like I should really bothered by this, cause she's a fucking badass girl and I like spending time with her a lot. But I'm kind of okay right now. 

So yeah, not really sure where this is all gonna go. I know that if I go monogomous I'm gonna get frustrated like 3 weeks in so that's not an option right. But I may lose her if I don't. I don't really think there's an inbetween here. 

Guess I'm trying to have my cake and eat it too. Doesn't really work for me to do anything else at the moment though.

Cheers

dude been in the same spot before
honestly she probably likes you so much that u could manage the situation and continue to fuck her and other girls if u really wanted to.
but it wont be the same as it was  and u will probably end up hurting her self-esteem
What would your ideal best self do?  That wil give you the answer of which direction to take
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H34rt o' beast

H34rt o' beast

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Join Date: 07/28/2013 | Posts: 188

 This is a quality situation to be in. Really respect that you are at the point where you have been with enough girls to recognise when you have a chemistry with one. Tyler talks about this in his latest 2 hour monster video. Good luck bro.
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H34rt o' beast

H34rt o' beast

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Join Date: 07/28/2013 | Posts: 188

 P.s. ignore the haters
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

Thanks guys.

We ended up talking about it last night. Basically we came to the conclusion that we both really wanted to change for each other, but couldn't. I can't be monogomous right now, and she can't handle always thinking about me fucking other girls even thought she wants to be able to. 

We eventually settled on being good friends. I'm actually surprisingly happy with this outcome. Given the situation, I don't think it could have turned out better than this. I think that if either of had made a concession, it would have just blown up really bad in a month or two. 

Anyway, feeling good about things. Life is good.
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Knoxville

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Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 768

Matt281 wrote:
Thanks guys.

We ended up talking about it last night. Basically we came to the conclusion that we both really wanted to change for each other, but couldn't. I can't be monogomous right now, and she can't handle always thinking about me fucking other girls even thought she wants to be able to. 

We eventually settled on being good friends. I'm actually surprisingly happy with this outcome. Given the situation, I don't think it could have turned out better than this. I think that if either of had made a concession, it would have just blown up really bad in a month or two. 

Anyway, feeling good about things. Life is good.
You guys will be hooking up again in the coming months ;) ITs hard man. Really hard not to. Btw, the outcome you have here is amazing as long as both of you can stay true to that and not hook up although you are so into each other. Make up sexy is the best btw. That brings up the whole "you want what you can't have" situation. You know you shouldn't be doing it, but it feels so...damn...good with a girl you love. 

All and all man, you have some great memories to look back on and be fulfilled by. And SexyMachines comment about her not being as "hot" as you wanted back then, dude there is so much more that goes into a girls hotness over time. The more time you spend with her, the better everything including the attraction becomes between you two. Because she is an ACTUAL PERSON. 

Its nice reading this thread man. Other guys who can relate get a feel of peace with their own experiences. 

Also, if you fall into that trap of getting back with her (which maybe your dicsiplined enough not to), it creates a ton of stress in your life. Just fyi. But it feels good and fulfilling in a different/self destructing/amazing way. I guess its like eating chocolate because it tastes so GOOD, but you know deep down that its not good for you. 
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Knoxville

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Join Date: 05/19/2011 | Posts: 768

Matt281 wrote:
 Just went through and fixed all my txting/facebook/snapchat shit. I'm a regular pro polygamist now :)

Thursday

Kinda got my mind blown tonight. Some of the experiences I'm having lately... just feels like I'm hitting a new level with this stuff.

I txt the stunner girl from last week and she comes over again and we grab a drink. It's funny because while my "girlfriend" is basically exactly what I want in a girl personality wise, this girl is exactly what I want in a girl sexually. I literally get a boner just hugging this girl. 

We head back to my place, joke around a little and start making out. I'm realizing this more on SNLs too... just chill. No need to push it hard. Just relax, lead and assume it'll happen.

Her: so... it's shark week...

Takes a minute to register in my brain. She's on the rag. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

She's supposed to go hang out and drink with her friends, but she sticks around and we literally roll around on the floor for a couple hours. 

It's fun. She's fun to hang out with once she loosens up a little.

Around midnight we end up getting hot and heavy and I strip down and pull her over to the bed. She has this ridiculous jean shorts/leotard/tights combo that's beyond impossible to get off. She might as well have a chastity belt. 

She gives me handjob for a bit, then finally moves down and starts blowing me. She's so so so so good. 

2 minutes in I'm reading to come and she pulls her mouth off and keeps going with her hand. She points my dick way up and I COME ON MY OWN FUCKING FACE. LOL. So bad.

I almost forget about how good it feels because I'm laughing so hard. I make a bee line for the shower. I have cum all fucking over me.

#notaproudmoment 

Funny enough, she feels insecure about all this because she "messed up". I'm surprised. Girls this hot don't normally act like this.

------------------------------------------------------------

It gets weirder. Read on.

As she's getting ready to leave, she stops me.

Her: so... I've been meaning to ask you this... umm... like, I dunno I can't figure you out at all. Like usually when I hang out with guys they really want to be my boyfriend and they start acting really weird and I'm the one running away.... but now I'm acting like that. I just don't know what to think... like, ummm what is this [between us]?

I tell her that I don't really have any expectations and I usually just like to let things unfold naturally. "Let's just keep hanging out and see where it goes". 

This settles her a bit, but she goes on to say how she never has sex with guys this quickly and hints that she's always worried that I might never talk to her again because I'm so relaxed about everything. I tell her I like her and I want to see her again. She feels better. She says now she feels stupid for bringing this up, because that's what guys do to her, and she never talks to them again. 

This is somewhat hard to get down in writing, but you get the idea. Keep in mind that this girl is probably the hottest girl I've ever fucked. I literally want to just stay in bed all day and fuck her over and over again. She's got a million guys that are in love with her... and she's getting needy and insecure in week two...

Crazy. 

Anyway, big relearned lesson about being "that guy". Even these girls with hundreds of guys ready to lick the ground behind their feet will fall hard for that one guy who's really on top of his shit. 

Abundance is a hell of a drug.

:)
Whoa man. Mind = Blown. Holy shit. Hmm so this is what it is. Really well explained. "Abundance is a hell of a drug" to quote. LOL. 
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G-Money

G-Money

Respected Member

Join Date: 09/20/2011 | Posts: 586

 Yeah dude, I've been starting to lean more towards the being "extremely up front from the get go" mindset. This sets expectations immediately and the girl/you know exactly what you're each getting yourselves into. I've had some fucked up situations the past month or so that really enforced these in my mind. In one instance, my primary girl woke up and we were talking. I hopped in the shower and she was just gone. I start searching around my room and find a fucking hairbrush COVERED in one of my FWB's hair. Blonde hair. My primary is a brunette lol. 

I was able to salvage the situation later but it's fucked up. You don't wanna have that weird, uneasy feeling that you're tip toeing or being shady as fuck just so you can keep getting absurd amounts of on the regular. It's even harder when most of the girls you fuck know each other and are out with you all the time. Haha, I know where you're coming from bro. It sounds like you've got it all figured out for the most part and you'll keep learning like we all do. 

Cheers 
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Matt281

Matt281

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Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2289

 Thanks everyone. Even though RSD is fucking huge, I feel like the field reports forum is it's own little subsection of people who are ACTUALLY GOING TO GET GOOD. Such good feedback here and literally every topic is a gem. Thats the thing though -- do you come to RSD for entertainment, or results? If you haven't started a topic on here yet, what are you waiting for? :)

---------------------

Quick update. 

So like Knoxville said, this is going to be interesting. It's going to be hard to find a balance where we don't just wanna fuck each other again immediately, but we still keep in touch. It's really hard to just take a step back. We'll see -- I hope it can be done. 

That being said, the whole ordeal definitely brought up some thoughts for me. 

One thing she asked that hit me particularly hard for some reason was this: "So why is this such a big deal for you anyway? Why is it so important to fuck random girls?" 

Kind of caught me off guard. Also got me thinking... yeah... why?? That's really hard to answer. 

On the surface level, it's partially because of how hot my new cherish girl is and how much I enjoy fucking her. It's weird because I think if I wanted to fuck the girl I just "broke up" with as bad as her, I think exclusivity would be just fine. I just couldn't see giving up that kind of sex. I think that for me to be in a committed relationship, I'd have to have both those things. A girl who I clicked with like the girl who asked me that question, where sex is good enough that I don't really miss the random encounters.

But that's only part of it.

"Why is this such a big deal for you anyway?"

I think there's a lot more going on here that I may not even be fully aware of. One thing is that game has basically always be one of my primary vehicles for improving my life. It's also something that plays a roll in how I define myself, for better or for worse. 

Honestly, on some level, I'm fucking scared to be in a relationship because I'm scared that getting out of game will make me less likely to end up with the same quality of girl that I would have if I stayed in. It's a weird mindset, but all I know is there have been a lot of times in my life where I've thought "man, if I could just be with that girl I'd be set". Now I look back on that and think WHAT A FUCKING JOKE LOL. I wouldn't even date most of the girls I was dying to be with back in the day. I'm worried that if I get into a relationship now, it won't be the same quality of girl that I could get in 5 years, just like I never could have had girls like I have now when I was 20. And I'm worried that will slow me down in reaching the level where I am dating the coolest, sweetest, most badass stunner girls. 

It's actually kind of a fucked up mindset. But that's where I am. 

On the flip side, I could just miss the most amazing girl ever because I'm so wrapped up in the game. Gotta be careful of that too I guess.

I don't know if I'm a bit misguided or what. But I know that in some way my involvement in the game has taken me from being hopeless with girls to being a guy who's "everything they want" (got that one a few times now). It's not just "learning the game", but really the lessons it teaches you about dedication, positivity, abundance, bootstrapping positive emotions, emotional understanding, mental toughness and so on. It's had so many positive influences on my life that I'm afraid to let it go, even if at some point it's the best. 

But at some point I'm going to let it all go for the right girl. That's still what I want in the end. I've had more crazy experiences and fucked more gorgeous girls than I ever would have dreamed of 5 years ago, and I've enjoyed every second of it. But I'm not going to be a "lifer" in the game. I'll drop it all when the time's right.

... just not yet ;)

Cheers
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BerlinCity

BerlinCity

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Join Date: 10/22/2012 | Posts: 864

 Good you are facing these questions. Honestly, i am kinda scared to out of the game too....I feel like I am in the middle of the road. Too far to go back or forth....so it makes sense to keep walking, and not settle with some mediocre shit. :)
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