October 26th, 2016
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2139

Update 9/20/12

I figure this is as good a time as any to update this, just to give you a better idea of where I was when I started this and how the whole process went for me.

When I first started this journal I'd known about the community -- or more accurately I'd known that people wrote about dating and success with women -- for about a year. At that time I was a 20 (soon to be 21) year old virgin with, at best, a very vague idea of how to talk to girls. I'd been pretty introverted for most of my adolescent life, but I had a pretty good upbringing so I suppose I wasn't your typical "hard case newbie". I just had next to zero experience talking to girls, and had no idea what "game" or "hitting on a girl" was supposed to look like.

When I started this journal, there were some other journals from guys who seemed to be having rockstar success, and some from other newbies like me. But I couldn't find any where a guy came from nothing and really took off. You know, the zero to hero story.

I figured that if I ever got good at this, mine would be one of those journals: the story of a guy who went from absolutely no results with women, to dating and fucking the kinds of women that most guys only dream of.

So I guess by now, more than 3 years later, that's pretty much what has happened. The kind of girls I'd only dreamed of, I'm consistently fucking them now.

I'm not done yet, but this is my evolving success story. My hope is that -- for those few readers who want this as bad as I did (and still do) -- that you can draw some inspiration from my story, and perhaps even learn a thing or two.


Also: My 1000th Post


First of all, hi guys, I'm new to the forums (although I've been
looking at pickup stuff for about a year, both here and on other sites)
and I figured posting an approach journal would be helpful for both
and anyone else who's in college or will be in the near future.I'll
start about 2 months ago for the first post, since I don't remember the
ones before that as vividly.

Without further ado:

#1 - Weight room

Me, between sets, to cute girl who works there: hey, do you know so-and-so? (friend who's in the weight room like 3 hours a day)
HB9: I might, I know lots of ____'s
Me: I'm sure you do,  he's in here all the time
HB9: yeah probably
anyway, I was gonna have you tell him something but I guess if you
don't know who I'm talking about it wouldn't do any good
HB9: haha, yeah
Me: uhh, well if you run into a guy named ____ then tell him to call me. I'm Matt by the way.
HB9: I'm HB9, nice to meet you.

Observations: Approaching in college is pretty easy if you have a way in. Pretty damn hard if you don't.

Later developments: I find out she has a boyfriend. Don't want to push it further and we become friends.

#2 - Small college Party

HB7,comes up to me: hey aren't you in my physics lab? (she obviously knows
I'm not, since labs are like 20 people and it's near the end of the
Me: Nope, dont' think so
HB7: oh well you look farmilliar
Me: oh yeah ...blah...blah...blah, random bs I don't remember
HB7: haha....blah...blah
Me: so who did you come with?
HB7:introduces me to her friends, 5 guys without any game who seem
interested in her, but too nice or shy to try to cockblock me
Me: *more random bs and some kino*
HB7:tells me about how awkward one of the guys she's with is, I talk
to him, he seems ok, I tease her about it a little and touch her
Me: I run out of things to say so I walk around and talk to some other people for
a while, when we pass each other walking around I smile, touch her and say something brief
Me: about 30 minutes later as I pass her: "haha, I keep passing you in this hall"
HB7: yeah haha, how much longer are you staying?
Me:well my friends are just leaving, so I'll probably take off pretty
soon. Are you leaving with ____? (supposably awkward guy who drove them
HB7: yeah I was going to
Me: you wanna come back to my place for a bit and I'll drive you home later? (I hadn't been drinking that night)
HB7: uhh, I don't really wanna leave all my friends, but let me give you my number
Me: alright

when you make it clear that you want sex (by asking someone to come
back to your place) it's not going to stop attraction even if they
don't come with you. It never hurts to try, even though that probably
wasn't the best way to do it.

developments: we txt for
the next week, end up going out a few times, first date goes well,
second goes ok, but I decide I'm not that interested. I have high
standards (sometimes I wish I didn't) and
I feel like
I can do better than a 7, plus she's only sort of cool personality
wise. X-mas break starts and it falls apart.

#3 - In the city, new years

sneak into a bar/club with my friends ID. First time being in
one.I get really excited. I love the anonimity, so different from
college. My friends talk about girls but dont' approach anyone.

I'm building up to go do some approaches, the lights turn on and they
start clearing out (we'd only been there 20 minutes, I thought they
stayed open until 2, not 1:30 lights on). My friends go outside and I
walk up to 2 girls who are still in there sitting down.

Me: hey, you guys waiting for your firends too? (I actually was, I ran into someone else I knew in the bar)
HB6: yeah
HB9: I'm waiting for my boyfriend
Me: blah...blah...blah, dont' remember, I ask them both a question
HB6: talks to me, seems interested, I talk back
Me: what about you? I touch HB9 on the arm
HB9: says nothing
Me: haha, not talking?
HB9: no my boyfriend is pissed and I'm having a bad night

I see my friends and leave

Observations: gaming without a way in or a social circle of any sort seems hard, but anonimity is fucking exciting.
Later Developments: none

Anyway, there's 4-5 more as of now but I'm getting tired of typing.

I'd absolutely love to get feedback.

Cheers guys!
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Respected Member

Join Date: 03/24/2008 | Posts: 698

good stuff man.
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Respected Member

Join Date: 04/01/2008 | Posts: 779

I'll follow your journey! gl
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2139

Thanks for the support guys! Here's a few more that I thought were pretty interesting and entertaining:

#4 – Big college party

one actually happened about around the same time that #1 did (the one
in the weight room) but I forgot about the first instance. It isn’t
really an approach, but more of an example of using a social circle to
meet someone. I meet a lot of girls like this because cold approaching
can be really weird in college if you’re not that good at it, and can
mess with your social circle if you’re not careful (in this case this
girl is roommates with 2 of my female friends).

Me: I notice
her early, but it’s really loud and crowded, and she’s with her
friends. I’m still no good at approaches in these situations. When the
party starts dying down after a fight, I walk by slowly and smile at
HB9: Hi *smiles*
Me: Hi! (I puss out and keep walking)

on I see her talking with her roommates (my friends) and I walk up and
ask what they’re doing. They say they’re gonna head back to their
place. Her roommates drive back and I get ready to go to their place
with HB9 and a few of my guy friends. She holds onto my arm and seems
interested, but I can’t tell if she’s just drunk.

In the car:

Me: I don’t think we’ve officially met, I’m Matt
HB9: I’m HB9. I recognize you, did we have class together?
Me: I don’t know, what class? (I’m sure we didn’t, I would have noticed her instantly)
HB9: I don’t know

we get back to their place there’s about 5 girls, 3 or 4 of them are
cute and 3 guys (me and my 2 good friends). We sit down and the girls
start dancing with each other. I probably could have made a move, but I
felt self conscious and didn’t know what to do. Plus most of the people
there were close friends of mine and it would be a bit weird trying to
hook up with their roommate when they’re right there (there’s only 8 of
us so it would draw a lot of attention – probably something I shouldn’t
be as worried about as I was though). My ride wants to leave so I take

Observations: even really cute girls want to meet new guys

Later developments:

found out later that HB9 had broken up with her boyfriend earlier that
night, so I probably missed out on an opportunity for rebound sex.

ran into her a pretty often after that. Smiled and said hi. We had a
few really awkward conversations too. This is one my big problems.
Going up and talking to a girl when you don’t really have anything to
talk about is really hard (I see her when she’s working so she’s
usually busy, which makes it much harder).

-Yesterday I finally
ran into her when she wasn’t working. We both ended up studying in the
gym. Fortunately for me, I had about 15 people come talk to me in half
an hour (social proof is amazing, although I didn’t get any studying
done haha). I felt weird about moving over and talking to her because
she seemed really into her studying, but eventually I smiled at her and
she said something to me. I went over and we had a good conversation
(finally) for about 10 minutes.

-Still working on this one.

#5 – mid sized party

show up at the party with a few of my friends and walk inside. There’s
less people that I know than usual (still a few). I have trouble
keeping a good state and stay in a group with my friends and walk from
one side of the house to the other every few minutes. There are two hot
girls, a few decent looking ones, and a bunch of average ones. The
cutest one I’d consider a 9 and the second an 8.

More of my
friends show up and a start to get in state. HB9 is always with her
friends and I don’t have the balls to cold approach her. I’m always
worried about fucking up cold approaches since college is a closed
social settings and I’m sure we have mutual friends – and I’m sure I’ll
see her again. HB8 starts talking to some people know and I join the
group and introduce myself.

Me: hi, I’m matt
HB8: I’m HB8
Me: I recognize you. Do you have bio? (she’s in my class but it’s a huge lecture)
HB8: yeah at 3? (I can tell she’s never seen me in class)
Me: yeah…
Me: our teacher’s pretty weird haha
HB8: yeah he is
Me: *talk about some weird things he did*
Me: *someone turns up the music and “get low” starts blasting. “I’ll talk to you when I can hear haha”
HB8: ok

I walk off, disappointed my last line. I come back 5 or 10 minutes later

Me: hey, how’s it going
HB8: ok
Me: do you wanna dance?
HB8: yeah

take her out into a relatively small dance crowed and we start dancing.
She keeps wanting to get closer to the middle, so we shuffle around a

We get into the midst of things and I look up and “OMG
IT’S HB7 FROM A MONTH AGO RIGHT INFRONT OF US”. We make eye contact and
I feel really awkward, although I almost want to laugh at the
situation. Nothing happens and I talk to her a bit later, she doesn’t
seem to care (normally I wouldn’t expect her to but we never really
ended it, we just kind of stopped talking, so it wasn’t really clear).

stop dancing and I talk to my friends a bit more. They seem impressed
and tell me to take her home, but we’re going back to another house
first logistics are pretty bad (location is far from my place, I’ve
been drinking so I can’t drive). HB8 walks by and smiles at me, then
leaves a few minutes later.

Observations: asking someone to
dance is a nice way to go about things if can’t find anything to talk
about, especially if it’s loud and/or dark.

Developments: my friend finds her on facebook and it turns out she has
a boyfriend. She seemed like the kind of girl who might have cheated
though…if I had a little more game and a little bigger balls =P

#6 – Big college party

took me forever to find a party that night so I got there late, around
11 or so. The place was cracking. I walked in and got into state really
quickly after running into tons of my friends one after another. It’s
really cool knowing a lot of people at parties considering there’s like
15,000 students at my college. One of the cute roommates from the above
story comes up and hugs me and leads me around meeting people (having a
really cute girl with you always helps). She takes off to look for
someone and I go around and say hi to more of my friends.

of my buddies is talking to a really cute girl who I ran into briefly a
few weeks before, so I go talk to him for a sec, then turn my attention
to the girl.

Me: I know you! a few weeks ago you spilled beer on
me, then pinched my nipple! (she really did this, she was drunk and
she’s just that type of girl)
HB9: *laughs pretty hard* I don’t remember any of that haha!
Me: yeah, you dropped a beer and on the ground and it squirted all over me, then instead of apologizing you pinched my nipple!
HB9: ahahaha, yeah I was really drunk
Me: anyway I’m Matt
HB9: I’m HB9
Me: see you in a bit nipple girl!

walk around a bit more and beat myself up about not talking to a few of
the other cute girls there. I already know about half of them, but I
couldn’t get myself to approach the new ones. I lose state pretty badly
and alternate between walking around and standing with groups of

Later that night I see “nipple girl” with another
cute friend and after some coaxing from my friend (“I want to dance
with one of them, they’re the cutest girls here”) I go over and talk to
nipple girl again.

Me: what’s up! *cover my chest*
HB9 (nipple girl) tries to grap me anyway, we kino a bit
Nipple girl: this is my friend HB9
Me: hi, I’m Matt
HB9 (friend): nice to meet you
blah, a little flirting, they both start trying to grab me, I tell HB9
the story about how me and nipple girl met the first time

guy that they seem to barely know tries to block me out of the
conversation, but they don’t seem interested in him, and he backs out
after a sec. I flirt with them a little more and go find my friend who
needed a ride home. I might have been able to pull one of them, but my
game probably isn’t good enough yet. I’ll see them again.

people mirror the person they’re with. “Nipple girl” was just a flirty
type of girl, which made me completely comfortable with early touching
and teasing. I need to work on developing a persona where I show girls
that I interact in this way, and its natural for them to act the same

Later developments: none yet

Still love to get feedback of any sort!

PS- does anyone know why the posts get cut like they do and/or how to get around it?
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2139

Hey guys, back with another small addition!

#7 - Biology lecture

always found it pretty hard to meet girls in large lecture classes
unless you sit by them the first day...and I usually
end up sitting with friends instead. Anyway, there's about 50 girls in
the class and only 2 or 3 of them are really cute. One I already
met, so the unknown girl in the back really caught my eye. But every
I'd see her in class I'd think "how the fuck do I meet her"?
I suppose I could just walk up after class or sit down next to
her, but it starts to feel weird after the first few classes. 

before class a few days ago I was sitting in the rec center after
my workout and I get up to go to biology class. As soon as I get
outside, I realize I forgot my lab book inside, so I go back and
get it. I remember
thinking "it's funny how something stupid like that can change the
course of  your life". It was kind of like a Benjamin Button's
thing (if you've seen the movie you'll understand). I grab
my lab book and go to class, and I run into one of my friends from
class who tells me to sit with their group in the back (I wouldn't have
ran into her if I hadn't forgot my lab
book and I wouldn't have sat with them). So I go to the back of the
and it looks like someone's stuff is in the spot I was going to
sit, so I go over to an empty seat on the other side of my group of

30 seconds later:

HB9 (the girl I was talking about) hey! that's my seat!
Me: oh yeah?
HB9: it's ok *sits on the other side of her friend*

Boom! a way in!

After class:

Me: so do you always sit in the same spot haha?
HB9: yeah, well sort of
Me: haha is it an OCD thing?
HB9: no I don't have OCD, I don't think haha, I just usually sit in the same spot
Me: My friend was dating a girl with OCD a few months ago. She'd freak out about uneven numbers and other stuff like that
HB9: yeah that kind of stuff doesn't bother you have OCD?
Me; haha no, otherwise I'd sit in the same spot everyday, like you
HB9: haha...wait isn't it supposed to snow this weekend?
Me: I heard something about that, it already snowed in my hometown ______
HB9: oh you live in _____? Do you know HB10? (a supermodel caliber girl from my hometown that I happen to know)
Me: Yeah!, how do know HB10?? ( <3 social proof )
HB9: we had some classes together
Me: cool, blah...blah....blah...don't remember
HB9: well, I'll see you later *when we get to her car*
Me: yeah, what's your name?
HB9: HB9
Me: I'm matt, nice to meet you

Observations: I'm
still a bit of a wuss when it comes to cold approaching, but this just
confirmed my belief that anyone in a closed social setting can be met
with good social networking, effort and a bit of luck. I find that I'll
have mutual friends with cute girls as long as I keep meeting
people and I'll always have a chance to meet them, one way or another.

developments: none yet. I didn't get to sit next to her next class
because the seats were full...then we had a test. I'm going to follow
up monday and hopefully ask her out by friday =)

Cheers guys! love to hear your comments!
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2139

Continuation - # 5 (HB8 at the mid-sized party who I danced with)

Relatively big double kegger:

I walk
in and the whole front room is pretty damn dark with tons of people
dancing. It's like a blacklight party without the blacklights; I can't
even see who's who. Light's are on in the other rooms and upstairs
though, so the first thing I do is go to drop my coat off (I know the guys at the house so I decide
I'll drop it in one of their rooms). I briefly participate in a
discussion with the hosts about whether to buy another kegg, then head
downstairs and drop my coat in one of the unlocked rooms. I say hi to a
few of my friends and then run into HB8.

Me: hey! I know you!
HB8: yeah! bio class! (I never sat her or talked to her because we found out she had a boyfriend, so we needed to re-meet).
HB8: I always see you now but I didn't want to say anything cause I wasn't sure you'd remember me
Me: haha, that happens to me all the time. I'm so bad with remembering people...but I remember you!
HB8: *don't remember* (she seems more interested than before, smiling and touching more)

bring her over to meet the hosts and we can't get to the kegg because
of the mass of people standing with empty cups. We stand in the kitchen
for a bit and she leans up against me while she talks with her friend.
Some other guys try to hit on her, most notably a guy wearing only
spandex undershorts (it was a dress up party, but not really that kind)
and her guy friend, who doesn't seem to have figured out that he'll
never have a chance with her.

We meet up with my roommate who
I came with and her roommate (HB7), who just happen to be into each
other and talk a bit, then I get seperated somehow and go upstairs to use the bathroom, then end up going out on the roof for  a few minutes. 

think about finding another girl since she has a boyfriend and even
though she seems into me, I don't want to be some girls entertainer
while she's with some other guy. But there's not many really cute girls
at this party. No 9s or 10s, a few 7s and 8s. Well, she seems into me
so maybe I can make something happen. I walk back down and talk with her roomate for a sec (HB7)

HB7: Do you like HB8?
Me: yeah, she's really cool
HB7: she's single now *smirks*
oh yeah? (awesome now I'm not wasting my time on some chick with a
boyfriend AND I have the "she's into you" hint from her roomate)

I go find HB8 again

HB8: hey!!
Me: hey, how's it going!
HB8: Good!
Me:...*I look at her with that "I'm going to fuck you" look*
HB8: you wanna dance?
Me: yeah, come on

dance and she seems way more into it than last time, and way more
sexual. After a few minutes we head back and talk to my roommate and
hers. HB8 gets hit on more. Spandex guy from earlier grabs her and asks
her to dance, she says no. I pull her over and give him a little "fuck
you" smirk. Then her friend tries and she tries to say no without
hurting his feelings and he takes it as playful resistance and keeps
trying, and failing miserably. I love that feeling when the girl all
the guys want is into you and you know nothing they can do will change
that. I guess I've been on the other side though.

 I decide
not to try for a one nighter with her because the logistics are bad. Me
and my roommate walk HB7 and HB8 back to their car. A fight breaks out
right near us and she she's nervous and hangs onto me. I put my arm
around her and we walk back to the cars and part ways. Good night =)

Cheers guys. Would love to hear your comments!
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Junior Member

Join Date: 01/14/2009 | Posts: 19

Sounds like you're doing well man. It's fucking rad to see FR's that aren't based around a nightclub.
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 02/14/2008 | Posts: 1350

Nice this a big uni or smaller?
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2139

Thanks for the support guys. I've been slacking the last few days but cross your fingers for a big valentine's day update.

Lucid- it's a mid sized school, about 10,000 undergrads. Pretty big I guess, but small enough that I see
the same people on a regular basis...and small enough that I'm too
worried about social circles to make risky approaches, for better or
for worse.
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/28/2009 | Posts: 2139

Ok first update:

Another continuation from story #5

I was going to ask this girl out last week
after we had a good time the previous weekend but it kept getting
messed up. I never bothered to get her number because I knew
I'd see her in class and I figured I'd just ask her then. So the first
day she comes in late so I can't sit by her, then we're going opposite
directions after class and I figure I'll
just wait until next class...she skips class...then friday, I walk her
out and the second we leave the building she runs into one of her good
friends and wants to go off and do something with her, so she runs off.
I feel like I've wasted a week where I could have been talking to HB9 (story #7).

So monday comes and I finally
get to sit by her. I walk her out of class and we have a somewhat dull
talk. I can't think of anything fun to talk about and we end up talking
about classes while we walk for a couple minutes.  She stops short
of where she usually goes:

HB8: I have to go this way today
Me: oh
HB8: Bye
Me: wait a sec...I was gonna ask you, you wanna have dinner sometime this week?
HB8: Umm, I still kind of have a boyfriend...I mean we're kind of on a break but, I dunno, we might get back together...
Me: Ok *smile*
HB8: Sorry
Me: That's alright *still smiling* see ya later
HB8: Bye, sorry

rejected isn't really that bad. It's really not. I'd way rather be in
this situation than still trying to find a time to ask her. It really
isn't a big deal. It doesn't mess up your friendships and it
doesn't  really even mess up your relationship with the girl -
just as long as you're not too pushy or needy about it, or don't get
obvioius disinterest cues like "Oh I'm busy all week sorry" without a
suggestion for another time. A lot of
guys seem to want to be able to read a girls mind and know whether
she's interested before asking. Well, all you have to do is ask and if
she's not, really nothing much long as you don't make an
ass of yourself.

-Thinking about the stuff PUAs advise you not
to talk about can be bad. It's better to talk about something than just
blank out and not have anything to say.

Later Developments:

I came
back home late and my roommate, who's starting to date HB8's roommate,
tells me HB7/HB8 talked about it (of course) and she's interested but
she's in a complicated situation. I don't want to deal with that BS,
but if they break up for good I guess I'll give it another shot. For
now I'm going to look for other dates for valentine's day.

Wish me luck!
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Trusted Member

Join Date: 01/12/2008 | Posts: 1780

You seem like a pretty genuine guy. I like reading this stuff. I get the feeling you are destined for only good things.
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