NathanDating

Nathan!
 
Surrealism;43683 wrote:
I've been trying out some new techniques lately...it spurred from something cool I read on Tyler's blog that I wanted to try...let me know what you think:
-Tyler said on his blog that he would ask a girl "on a scale of 1-10, what is my friend?" In order to get the girl to approve of his friend and in-turn, get his friend laid...

I like this...but I actually have changed it slightly, and have been using it as more of a early qualification technique...
Allow me to clarify this concept... not that what you're doing anything wrong. It's awesome you're qualifying and being innovative. Remember, if you're not qualifying them, they're qualifying you. Here it goes:

The concept Tyler was talking about in his blog is a favorite in my playbook: value elicitation (Though he's using it differently as an opener, I believe that the most powerful and exacting time to use this is while in isolation and "comfort"-it's devastating. I don't think I would use this as an opener, but if I were to say something like this during a conversation, I would more likely ask to rate my friend's 'husband material' quality if I saw they had a vibe. To a girl it's funnier, more emotionally relevant, and IMO you are eliciting more accurate values you want her to express). I believe I talk about it to an extent in older posts from former hook ups.

Anyway, the concept at play is having her illicit her values. Pretty amazing stuff. After a girl elicits her values (it’s like an emotional compliance level), it subsequently emotionally forces her to search and identify those values with you. In other words, she's the one selling herself on you. It's your choice which values you want to express (ONS, FB, GF, husband material, etc.)

I know other “gurus” have talked about eliciting values, but I've taken this to whole new level from what I've seen. The next level, synthesizing a few PU concepts, is me eliciting my values while simultaneously leading and qualifying her on them. I consider this a significant piece of my "game" (which I won’t go into now). This ain’t no child’s play.

Here's an example of a simple mutual value elicitation (the majority of my qualifying and obvious leading has already been laid out in the conversational part):
I came up with this during a hook up in February with a gorgeous (solid '9') 20 yr old medical student from Holland while flying back from Rio, Brazil. She had just had the "time of her life" frolicking on some secluded beach with her boyfriend (who visited her from Holland) and was "in love".

Anal Sex

(WARNING: This is almost evil how devastating this is. I am a bad man. Since this has evolved, I only use this for "putting the final nail in the coffin" and speeding things up with girls I see myself pursuing for more than one night. Otherwise, it's just plain evil to give these girls these emotions and ditch her.)

During some amazing conversation lasting some 2+ solid hours into the flight, I ask Holland girl:

Me: Can you take a sincere compliment?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Me too. You first.

(I adapted Papa's old school sincere compliment opener and evolved it into my eliciting values model. Though I've never used this as an "opener" before, it just came to me. I was already leading the conversation, but my intuition told me I needed her to emotionally escalate more and faster)

This is powerful in a conversational dynamic. Every time I've said this, I've consistently been told the most amazing genuine compliments I've ever heard in my LIFE. Practice this after you know a girl likes you. After Holland girl gave me my compliment, I was so devastatingly impressed, that even 'I' was blushing. I liked this because it differentiated her from other girls and made me like her MORE. It was like she opened up her soul (gay) to tell me all the deeper emotions that she genuinely loved about my personality in a way nobody has EVER told me. Wow. She aimed to impress and she did. Again, note that I led her to express herself without judgment.

After this, I honestly told her how I was stunned by her comments (now, I'm an alpha dude so you can see the contrast-she’s earning me and doing a great job of breaking me down). She then asked me for her compliment, to which I replied that I've never been good at giving compliments (true) and don't think I could ever come close to the one she gave me.

In turn, I proceed to compliment her based on the positive values that she’s already expressed in our conversation leading up to this point. Being a compliment, I tell her how much I genuinely admire and like those values and give examples of why (i.e. I'm eliciting my values through the positive things I like about her-technically, I've been eliciting my values from the moment I sat next to her). Incidentally, Holland girl told me that I gave her the best compliment she's ever received.

So, within three hours of meeting on the plane, I've led the interaction to such a strong emotional connection that she now feels we’re soul mates finally finding each other (I know exactly what’s going on). I am in the midst of an emotional frenzy and could tell this girl to do anything and she'd follow (btw, most people only hope to feel this once in their life—and then marry that person).

Now, I've said this in past posts, but maybe now you can see why I've said girls routinely fall in love with me once they are in my web. My comfort and connection "game" is pretty sick. Better than anyone I've ever known anyway (props to growing up with cool sisters). Hey, we all have strengths.

This FR fragment was only an example of a mutual value elicitation that happens when you create strong lasting bonds with people (btw, I also used the compliment bit to seal the deal with Playboy model). The real work though is during the conversation, which sets up my strong, yet sincere, leading frame and allows me to ask for a compliment. Additionally, the sincere compliment really wasn’t necessary except that I had a flight time-constraint and strong boyfriend LMR (we were already attracted to each other—I just needed to get her into a certain peak emotional state fast).

Be Passionate. Make me proud.

-Nathan
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Comments

#1
Loopin <3

Loopin <3

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Join Date: 08/13/2009 | Posts: 621

first wink
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#2
beckstar

beckstar

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i don´t get the concept, maybe to heavy english.. i don´t unerstand it :D
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#3
Daniel

Daniel

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Join Date: 10/10/2008 | Posts: 1943

 This is gold, qualification and comfort is what will get you laid, in the long run
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#4
Occam

Occam

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Join Date: 05/17/2008 | Posts: 753

Eliciting values routine? Hmm..maybe it's just the terms, but this seems old school PUA.  Not exactly seeing how this meshes with NuRSD 2.0
Do I have to self point at any particular time in the interaction? haha :-P

No really... clarification?
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#5

RSDNationer

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Join Date: 03/27/2009 | Posts: 2668

Amazingggggg
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#6
De Reet Sap Rammer aka De Reet Thalys met 1986 kpu

De Reet Sap Ram...

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Join Date: 01/04/2008 | Posts: 1267

Fuckin A+ mate 
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#7

subx

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Join Date: 09/18/2008 | Posts: 1216

wut
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#8
FLOW!

FLOW!

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Join Date: 01/17/2009 | Posts: 24

 I've tried something similar, but not as refined or smooth... it works. 
Dude, I want to hear about other powerful techniques like this that are very natural... I really don't care about the cube and stuff like that... too much work and unnatural. 

Keep up the good work!
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#9
CHERISH

CHERISH

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I don't get this at all... Can you dumb it down and say practically what you did?
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#10
Mathias!

Mathias!

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I can see how this can be misunderstood as just another technique or whatever.

The undercurrent to all this is to be GENUINE.

Allowing all bullshit fronts to fall away and just express what you really like about another person. And to do that by mutually verbalizing and emotionally express what has already been established nonverbally in the vibe and subcomms. Its a mutual form of explicit appreciation to make eachother feel as good as possible - a mutual giving, which once established would be basically weird if it did not lead to sex.

It is a big compliance thing tho, takes a lot of trust that has to be established first. That part comes from who you are and how well that is aligned with how you behave.
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#11

Apocalypto

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Join Date: 03/03/2009 | Posts: 17

"After Holland girl gave me my compliment, I was so devastatingly impressed, that even 'I' was blushing. I liked this because it differentiated her from other girls and made me like her MORE. It was like she opened up her soul (gay) to tell me all the deeper emotions that she genuinely loved about my personality in a way nobody has EVER told me. Wow. She aimed to impress and she did. Again, note that I led her to express herself without judgment."

I seriously LOL'd @ the (gay) part. I like your sense of humor :D. solid post man
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#12
BlackandBlue!

BlackandBlue!

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Join Date: 02/29/2008 | Posts: 143

My take.

In laymans terms, this is having been with enough girls to know very clearly what you want and respect in a girl, beyond blonde hair and big tits.

The reason so many dudes complain about girls being bitches and acting like retards is because they let them.  They think simply becuase a girl is highly attractive she can piss all over their fish and chips. 

Personally I love girls that are a little crazy and feisty make you work for it and who love a dude who is raw and straight talking.  That shit means good good sex. 

When I talk to a hot girl I wanna find out ASAP how much she is on the same page as me.  If shes one of those girls who thinks her shit doesnt stink becuase she has a pretty face and a lady gaga haircut then Im wasting my time, id much rather be with the less hot girl who im not going to end up having boring sex with cos shes too self concious to let go and go wild. 

Sad thing is most dudes will stay trying to get in the hot girls pants all night, becuase thats about as specific as they get about what they are looking for in a girl "uhhh.. shes beter be hot and stuff"

Girls are so used to guys who have nothing more to measure them on than their initial physical appearance.  Its fucking boring becuase they dont have to work for it and they know they can have it when ever they want it.

Be a challenge and have some standards in what sort of attitudes and behaviour your looking for in your women.
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#13
SlingShot!

SlingShot!

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Join Date: 02/03/2009 | Posts: 191

Aha! Commitment and consitency in action!
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#14
Bye-byecycle

Bye-byecycle

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Join Date: 06/06/2009 | Posts: 58

I have a feeling whatever you write half of the guys are gonna say awesome and half of the guys are gonna think it's total bs, and I fall in to the latter category. Seriously, great stories and all...worth a blog? No. A lot of the stuff I've experienced during my life is similar to yours, but the thing is, there's really nothing for anything else than for me to learn from. Others can just read my story and be like, look what a cool guy or copy my stories to try and look cool themselves. Sure, you've gone through a lot etc. but next time write something that is not a waste of my time. I go out and experience stuff like this on my own.
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#15
Deft

Deft

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Join Date: 06/16/2008 | Posts: 2038

I love this.
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#16

Dayton

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Join Date: 03/01/2009 | Posts: 26

anybody got any good articles on emotional connection and eliciting values?
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#17
Laaavish

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Join Date: 10/30/2007 | Posts: 306

A little clunky in terms of game-speak, but overall it speaks to a natural core. just open up, be comfortable with highlighting eachothers features, and making the hookup inevitable. Its like youre both selling yourselves to each other. kind of beautiful, like a rooster puffing out his feathers and the chicken dancing her chicken dance...
Bye-byecycle wrote:
I have a feeling whatever you write half of the guys are gonna say awesome and half of the guys are gonna think it's total bs, and I fall in to the latter category. Seriously, great stories and all...worth a blog? No. A lot of the stuff I've experienced during my life is similar to yours, but the thing is, there's really nothing for anything else than for me to learn from. Others can just read my story and be like, look what a cool guy or copy my stories to try and look cool themselves. Sure, you've gone through a lot etc. but next time write something that is not a waste of my time. I go out and experience stuff like this on my own.
harsh :S
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#18

zine

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Join Date: 08/14/2007 | Posts: 122

Amazing post..
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#19
Freakyshaman

Freakyshaman

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I'm confused: you did or didn't fuck this girl?
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#20

YaBoiRayDawg

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Join Date: 03/02/2009 | Posts: 1499

im always bugged when people get with other guy's girlfriends, and just for sex no less, but that's just me. this stuff is gold. a bit advanced for me to understand, but gold.
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#21

Discipline

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Join Date: 01/04/2009 | Posts: 170

I don't understand it completely.
So value elicitation is basically giving each other a sincere compliment or?
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#22
HanSoloUK

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Join Date: 10/08/2008 | Posts: 352

Would you say that you could end up in the LJBF using the above?

What would you do to prevent that - show intent?
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#23
alyosha11

alyosha11

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BlackandBlue! wrote:

Girls are so used to guys who have nothing more to measure them on than their initial physical appearance.  Its fucking boring becuase they dont have to work for it and they know they can have it when ever they want it.

Be a challenge and have some standards in what sort of attitudes and behaviour your looking for in your women.

[/b]I love this, challenge is the way we shape ourselves into more exciting and attractive people. Fact is, theres so much enjoyment in taking the time to figure out you find attractive in a chick and much better rewards when you find one with all the qualities you want :P

Great article Nathan.
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#24

ninja08

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Join Date: 06/21/2008 | Posts: 607

Ok, now how to make this all a natural part of your game? lol
I wish this were to be explained with more examples and simpler terms.
Once I had the advice "open up to her" work wonders for me.
Even the pursuit of building a "strong emotional connection" was enough for me to figure out. Though the context in which I am good at that isn't nescecarily good for a pick up. It might even serve to make me the friend only guy.
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#25

turtle

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Join Date: 03/06/2009 | Posts: 117

I too don't get it, but sounds good
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#26
Holland

Holland

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Sounds pretty phony to me...
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#27

Haze~

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Join Date: 09/19/2007 | Posts: 3704

I remember when you told me this story.  Awesome as always.
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#28
Freakyshaman

Freakyshaman

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YaBoiRayDawg wrote:
im always bugged when people get with other guy's girlfriends, and just for sex no less, but that's just me. this stuff is gold. a bit advanced for me to understand, but gold.
Agreed: it's a shitty, low-value, low-integrity thing to do.  And he still hasn't told us whether he actually banged her or not--I'm really hoping he didn't seeing as how he's an RSD instructor and I'd like to think he'd be way above that kind of shit, but I'm waiting to see...
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#29
Algeristo

Algeristo

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Join Date: 01/29/2007 | Posts: 546

 Now that you've finished slapping your monster cock in the reader's face and given them bruises, can you actually give practical instruction on how to do form "powerful emotional bonds .... verbally".
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#30

berlinrsd

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Join Date: 06/29/2009 | Posts: 734

when they fall in love with you they accept to be just fuck buddies?
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#31
L Prince

L Prince

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Join Date: 11/17/2007 | Posts: 182

 this is GOLD.  not for newbies though.
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#32
Dystincsion

Dystincsion

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Join Date: 01/25/2009 | Posts: 215

Haha! There it is...formulated with exacting tolerance.
You're letting the secret out.
Anyone reading this that can comprehend the "gayness" involved, knows this is foolproof.

The drawbacks are...
The women that feel this connection with you will do anything you say.
They won't ever want to leave you.
They will stalk you.
They will be extremely jealous.
They will essentially leave any man/woman to be with you and most often cannot explain why, except for some comments about feeling safe, secure and comfortable from jump.
.
Careful what you ask for :)
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#33
Nathan!

Nathan!

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 1470

Dystincsion wrote:
Haha! There it is...formulated with exacting tolerance.
You're letting the secret out.
Anyone reading this that can comprehend the "gayness" involved, knows this is foolproof.

The drawbacks are...
The women that feel this connection with you will do anything you say.
They won't ever want to leave you.
They will stalk you.
They will be extremely jealous.
They will essentially leave any man/woman to be with you and most often cannot explain why, except for some comments about feeling safe, secure and comfortable from jump.
.
Careful what you ask for :)
This man knows probably like few other.  It takes an extreme sense of empathy to know these levels.  A high level of empathy is the highest form of 'game'.
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#34
Nathan!

Nathan!

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Join Date: 08/20/2006 | Posts: 1470

After receiving quite a few questions over the years since I first posted this, here's one of my answers...

Yes dude, I see how you don't get it. It had nothing to do with the 'sincere compliment'. That was just the final nail in the coffin creating a final climax of emotional intensity. All the work was done up to that point in telling each other very pointedly about who we were as real people and then liking each other for it. A big key is that she was telling me deeply about things she cared about in her life (as was I and led her to) and then her seeing those same things in me.

I think the article was written for those who were ready for it as you might tell from the polarity of the responses. Interesting reading them. Maybe this will help you.
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#35

twoprime

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Join Date: 01/24/2007 | Posts: 89

Your an evil man, Nathan. I  respect that.
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#36

Chocked!

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Join Date: 07/03/2008 | Posts: 279

Nathan! wrote:
After receiving quite a few questions over the years since I first posted this, here's one of my answers...

Yes dude, I see how you don't get it. It had nothing to do with the 'sincere compliment'. That was just the final nail in the coffin creating a final climax of emotional intensity. All the work was done up to that point in telling each other very pointedly about who we were as real people and then liking each other for it. A big key is that she was telling me deeply about things she cared about in her life (as was I and led her to) and then her seeing those same things in me.

I think the article was written for those who were ready for it as you might tell from the polarity of the responses. Interesting reading them. Maybe this will help you.
I actually saw one of the gayest movies ever Mysteries of Pittsburgh... despite this I hate to admit it struck a cord with me. Especially the scene where the girl bonded with the guy in the diner. It seemed to be exactly what you are describing here just different verbage. The super cute girl, and guy go out to a diner after visiting the club. They are having a good conversation but girl tells him since they are bonding / coming friends they have to share an intimate secret with each other.  If anybody is confused here I would highly recommend watching that scene / movie (if only they could blurt out the man on man scene).

I fn loved this. You could just feel the whole vibe shift and it totally clicked with me. I actually did this sort of thing back in high school with a couple of my girl friends and yes they would pretty much do anything for me after that. But I totally forgot about all that bit.

So I have been trying to form this emotional connection lately. But haven't quite pulled it off. Last time I told the girl we should share something personal but I couldn't get her to stop acting goofy. Didn't help that it was a text message either. But I'll work on it ;)

Thanks for the post!
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