I value this. Photo taken here in Austin.

And this moment.

And that’s it. No more clips. No more pictures of Owen and I. I hope you enjoyed this series.

Nathan and Owen
Motorbike Accident Emergency room visit. Cost: A couple grand. Worth: Priceless

11 Comments | 8,758 Views
Nice little clip cut by Mike and Owen. Anybody who’s been on RSDNation for a while should have this ingrained. Very few do. Enjoy your Chicken Soup for the Dating Soul today.

Be the ROCK. You are the only constant. Have Integrity to who YOU are

Final clip coming up next.

12 Comments | 8,121 Views
Nathan and Owen
Eh, my date with Owen in Hawaii before meeting the producer of ‘Lost’ to do the “Blueprint Decoded”. I had no expectations but this is not what he looked like in his dating profile. Damn you J-Date.

The Cliff notes of this video: Don’t be a weirdo.

Otherwise, the long version and further study. For those who haven’t read my 100% Guaranteed Not to Flake Gameplan post, do so now: I plan to fully write it out and expand it one day after I received enough feedback (yes, I suppose 3 years of it is not enough).

Here’s a random excerpt from it:
“For me, the best and fastest way to escalate a relationship (friend, FB, or GF) and get to know a girl is to have serious 1on1 time. That means no going out with her friends or anyone else. My goal is just to get her sooo comfortable with me that "things just happen". Logistics are key, but it all begins in my mindset. Women are abundant. Meeting up with women is an almost every day affair. Most of my life I have been around women in some capacity and know that there is nothing to be scared or worried about.

Therefore, when I go for meet ups with women I make it casual because that is EXACTLY what it is to me. Almost like meeting the coolest new friend (except I'm a dominant and sexual man). I literally plan things I normally do in my life and invite women along to join me (I just don't tell them what we're doing as a surprise). If they don't make it then it doesn't matter. I am already doing something that I would've done anyway. Oh well (btw, if they don't make it for some reason, there's a good chance we will later anyway... that's for another post probably titled, "empathy in game and not losing track of the ultimate goal").

Another thing about this is this takes all the pressure off meeting someone you don't know. Most dudes get nervous, or plainly project something weird and incongruent with themselves (opposite of comfort), on the phone with girls, which creates some sort of unnecessary pressure or tension on both of you that kills the chance of ever meeting up (they also fail to alleviate expectations set from when you first met). My tone on the phone is always to build comfort from being chill to playful to excited.”

Jeffy and Chessclub on the dating scene again

Until Documentary clip #4,

12 Comments | 7,745 Views

Me and my baby’s momma

Sometimes in our journey we realize that our game evolves into relationships. In our path or journey to understand and master ourselves we become teachers in our relationships (no matter how short they may be).

The first thing my beautiful sister commented on after watching this clip was how her ex-husband (she was recently divorced) would always try to control everything in their lives instead of letting her lead in the ways that she is most capable. How many of you have tried to make women do “man’s” work or have you tried to force ways or things that your woman has demonstrated an innate skill that brings her joy?

Myself, known for my physical dominance, am saying sometimes dominance and leading goes too far when drinking too much of the sage advice from your well-intentioned mentors. Learn to listen and go with the flow. Life and relationships are a balance. Stop forcing the lead and allow each other to lead in the abilities that you are each strongest.

Until documentary clip #3.

16 Comments | 7,093 Views
Nathan and Tyler
                                                                       What the fuck?

Trying to spread some on-again off-again Nathan love to RSDNation, here’s a great clip cut by our editor Mike from an interview I did years ago. For more of some of the topics check out my older articles. I wish this interview had been put out a while ago, but you got it now. I’ll probably put the whole hour and a half in my new upcoming blog this summer. Go check it out and sign up for the newsletter and be the first to know when it goes live.

There’s a lot of value to be gained from this clip. If you find it more of a recap from me, then that’s what it is. Always good for a daily dose. Otherwise, trust that the following 4 clip V-articles will be much more different.

For those of you who don’t know me, this is less about my bootcamps as it is me. Welcome to Nathan, Senior Mentor and Facilitator of a Lifetime of Bad Conditioning residing in Austin, Texas. This clip is a brief glimpse into the philosophy that I hold, and will always hold, for myself. I’ll put it this way, anytime I’ve strayed from it in my life, it’s hurt me. Here it is.

Enjoy. 4 clips more to come.

36 Comments | 9,094 Views
Anybody else see this movie? It’s insaaanne. If you ever thought your life was tough, this movie will make you reach for the skies in gratitude for the life you have lived… and then never -never- watch this movie again.


This article has nothing to do with the movie. Just sounded like a good title for an article

In not quite as dramatic fashion, below are the prompts for an interview I did for a documentary over two years ago on 'The Community' in Auckland, New Zealand (It’s taken this long to get them edited…). Of course the actual interview went a bit differently, but I wrote out my quick responses beforehand so I could go in a little prepared.

In 5 following articles (thanks to Mike A. for editing and Owen for inserting blurbs) will be a series of clips from the hour and a half of footage that I received from the interview. The few people that have seen it were psyched about the entire interview. I wish I could put the whole thing up, but attention spans rarely last that long.

It’s funny how it seems like only yesterday I was eating meat pies by the dozen and now it’s already been two years. Hopefully, the following will tie some things together as a whole and some things into perspective.

Be Precious,


Interview with Nathan, Executive coach for Real Social Dynamics

- What is the seduction community? Why do you think it exists?
Result of the information age. Nothing new here. Guys and girls from the dawn of our existence have wanted to know how to better attract and keep high quality mates. For the first time, we have the depth and breadth of knowledge as well as the vehicle for mass communication to answer those questions that people have ALWAYS asked.

- What is a lair, where are they located and how many are there?
I joined one in LA for a few months when I first found out about ‘the community’ years ago (2005 pre “The Game”). Essentially, back then it was nerds getting together to exchange pick up lines. They were actually started by my friend and boss, Nick Kho, years ago. He travelled the world setting them up. How many? It’s probably in the hundreds. Just about every major city and big town in the world has one.

- What role does the internet play in the seduction community?
Huge. Information dissemination is massive

- What is a PUA?
Nerd speak for someone good with women. Natural is someone good with women. Doesn’t think about it; just is. A PUA is someone who’s learned to become good with women; most of the time they are thinking about it.

Nathan and Student
Auckland baby! With BlackandBlue!

- How did you first learn about the community and why did you join?
Accidentally found David D. back in 2002 while developing a new theory and disproving Ellen Berscheid’s prevailing theory on Sexual Attraction at the University of Texas at Austin

- What were your initial goals when you started?
Be awesome. Be comfortable in any situation. I’d had my share of women before, but like many natural types it was mainly part of a particular social system. I wanted to break that crutch and have choice and abundance of not just beautiful women, but any type of woman I wanted and get them in many particular situations. Generally, I wanted to live a more abundant life and always held the philosophy of conquering my own fears in any aspect of my life.

I’d also been surrounded by failed relationships for most of my life, so I had a deep desire to figure out myself and the world around me so I wouldn’t fall into many of the same traps that many of the people I cared for had fallen into.

- What steps were involved in becoming an instructor for potential PUAs?
Already had to be “world class” with women. After that I had to have that same passion that I had for meeting and interacting with women as for teaching men. From there (2007) I spent a few months in the field observing other coaches before I went on to innovate and teach my own ‘game’ and style of coaching.

- What kinds of relationships have you had since becoming a bonafide PUA?
Don’t know when the moment was that I became a bona fide PUA, and never considered being one, but there was one incident that happened back before I was a coach that I realized that nobody was like me. It was at Porn star karaoke in LA and guys were coming up to me asking me to teach them my ‘magic’. Wow. Since then, I’ve held multiple girlfriends at a time, ONS (also relationships), a threesome though I lost the flavour for those years ago, and currently have a long term girlfriend

- What is outer game? How is it similar to a game?
I actually spoke about this briefly in my last RSD SuperConference speech in Sydney, Australia. It’s all the same to me. No difference. What I teach is this is WHO YOU ARE, not what you do. How do you go out and practice having ‘core confidence’? It’s weird, you can’t. Both concepts are 100% corollary. Without one you don’t have the other. “Outer game” is an expression of your “inner game” so to speak.

Student and Tits
Oh my, Ray... Blind Pig-Austin, Texas Bootcamp times

- Where can you practice gaming?
We were actually joking about that at the last superconference with two of my good friends, fellow instructors, and old school community guys-Ozzie (OX) and Tim (Chariot). Ozzie was like, “Hey man, you wanna go do some street sets??”

We don’t practice. We are it. The better you get at this stuff the more you realize that it’s not about women, it’s about you. You are the only constant. Women are variables. Perception is projection. So if we are working on something it’s less about practicing ‘game’ or ‘practicing on women’, it’s really practicing on ourselves.

- What are the most popular techniques and methods?
There are tons of stuff out there. There’s the lines and the rigid structure method, the NLP methodology, the natural method and the ones in between. Method sounds strange to me though, because meeting, attracting, and creating relationships aren’t so much a method to me as it is a social art form. Men have methods. Women don’t. A ‘method’ in itself is a linear logical masculine model invention superimposing themselves over the true art form that women know it as.

- Why do you think these techniques work?
Because if you tell someone something is SO AWESOME and works 100% of the time, and they believe the marketing enough, then it gives them confidence in the lines. Confidence and certainty is massively attractive in any form to women. (The question is, “Where are you deriving your confidence?”) The dark side is that they start to believe in the lines so much and never adapt their own personality and it becomes their alter ego. All lines and routines, no real personality. For example, a lot of guys I’ve met and spoken to don’t have anything outside of ‘game’ to talk about.

The way it’s marketed is that these are the training wheels to becoming natural and gaining confidence in their own personality. From years and years of watching, learning, and teaching students, I’d say the vast majority don’t do that and they start relying and believing the lines and routines are what they are. No matter how ‘good a ‘PUA’ they become though, inside they feel like frauds.

- How much do workshops cost?
Anywhere from $1500 to $2500 US.

Flawless Natural NYC
Flawless Natural Workshop/Superconference NYC June 2008

- What kinds of guys usually take workshops?
Now, most are pretty decent cool guys. Back in the days of RSD 1.0 it was a LOT scarier.

- What is the process that PUAs generally go through, from being a newbie to bonafide PUA?
Depends. Some from full nerd to pimp others just want to become more attractive and have a gameplan for improving themselves with women and their relationships.

Really, I don’t teach guys to become PUAs though. There’s the method that teaches guys to become PUAs, but my program teaches guys beyond that and transcends the whole PUA thing. I teach a “Natural Game” program.

Ironically, the end-goal that even the top PUAs refer to as the ‘gold standard’ (the whole us against them mentality—nerd vs. cool guy or hot high status chick) is to be natural. Literally, natural. That’s the best because I’ve met or hung out with many many of the top ‘PUAs’ and I would not want to be or teach other guys to be like them…very interesting characters

- What are some of the most important things you teach that guys need to learn on their path to becoming a PUA?
To be a natural, confidence in themselves and their true path. Becoming more dominant in their realities and lives. Being whom they are meant to be. Being their own guru.

- What is the most common problem that they have with approaching women? What do you think is the root of the problem?
Some are really good actually. The root? Belief in their own ability and natural attractiveness to women. Ie. Women actually like them and enjoy people who bring value to their lives

- Do you think their problems are a reflection of wider societal issues?
To a degree. There are cultural differences. Ie. Sweden and the US--Had massive feminist movements that helped and yet hurt both men and women.

- What do you think about how men and boys are socialized in our society?
Fine. They just need better leadership and more strong male role models. In a way, the reason for the development of this community was because of the lack of proper leadership and proper role models. True economics—the world is an efficient market. No role models at home and therefore we created our own. Necessity is the mother of all invention.

- What are your thoughts on dating and courtship rituals today? What is the man’s role?
Kinda suck. Very antiquated. The times have changed faster in the past 50-100 years than they ever have. What we’ve learned from our parents is already history. Have integrity. Be strong in their values. Know and follow them.

Girl Dancing
Austin, Texas! This girl hooked up with my student and then “boyfriended” this guy. Go figure.

- Does the community provide a sense of male empowerment?
Yes, to a degree. Though, I don’t know how necessary it is. I’m a firm believer in taking personal responsibility. Male empowerment sounds like a bunch of sensitive guys going on a weekend retreat to yell, “Yes, we are men and love it!”. A little too feminine for me.

- How does the community level the playing field in terms of status and value?
For my program, it gives guys the opportunity reinvent themselves as high value men. Something maybe they never felt they could be or are. It’s not so much about levelling any field. Levelling dialectically speaking means that you are either raising your value/status or bringing others down to your real perceived value/status. You just are, or become, that natural value-giving high-value person.

- How do you feel about paying for dates?
Haha… whatever. The important thing is that you don’t make anything an ‘issue’. If you believe something is cool and normal then she will believe it and therefore gain a lot of comfort being around you. That’s the surest way for both you and her to getting what you both want. The issue that this evolves around are the expectations that people lay on other people. Girls frequently believe or feel they are obligated to more if a man pays. I choose not to make it a big deal and better yet just stay away from those particular sticky spots that may create anybody to feel obligated to somebody. I don’t even call dates, dates, or Day 2s as the community calls them. I have one word, ‘meetups’. By defining them as ‘meetups’ it takes away all expectations or possible future obligations one may feel toward another. Meetups have one purpose for me, gain massive comfort and I filter everything out that may hinder that.

- What characteristics do you think the IDEAL man has?
Integrity to themselves and their path. As a man, our #1 purpose is achievement. 2. Dominant/assertive—leader 3. Get our emotional states from within—not reactive to superficial values 4. physically strong 5. logical/rational 6. Decisive/certain 7. a little rough 8. have, and not afraid to express, their feminine polarity as who they are as long as they are at a minimum more than 50% on the aforementioned qualities in their relationships. There’s more to that…

- What do you think women are looking for in a man? What kinds of traits? What do they find attractive?
All of the above outlined. That is what I call the 99 percentile man. A man of integrity that does not bow down to superficial standards ie. Beauty and social status. Any woman can only hope to find a man like that sometime in their life.

- How important do you think physical appearance and grooming is when picking up women?
It’s important to display that you have your shit together. It’s more about how you feel you are being perceived and what you choose to let people think of you. Your appearance had better match your values. In other words if you are wearing a $5000 dollar suit then it had better be tailored to your body perfectly and the shoes had better be just as sharp. It’s more about being congruent with WHO YOU ARE and how you perceive yourself as then “trying to look pretty to impress people”.

Ghetto Family
Precious 10s by any means

- What is the HB rating system? Is there a particular kind of woman in mind? Who is a 10?
Nerd speak. Superficially, it’s a woman who’s outer beauty and status surpasses most others you’ve ever met or seen. Internally, it’s a girl that has her shit together and *knows* who she is and doesn’t compromise her beliefs and values—even for you. A 10 is the above, though I like to subscribe to the system as she’s either a 1 or a 0. A 1 is she’s either good enough for you or 0 she isn’t.

- What gives a woman value in your eyes?
Strength, courage, integrity to whom she’s meant to be and never compromising herself to superficial standards. Of course looks are key, but a woman who doesn’t take care of herself obviously doesn’t have integrity to herself and well being

- What did you think about women before becoming a PUA? [ie have there been changes?]
Lovely creatures and I needed them in my life to feel more complete—very much complimentary to me. For a while I thought they were just luxuries that come and go as I chose. I’ve grown a bit since then; getting older does that to you.

-Do you have female friends?
Yup. They’re awesome. I love hanging with them when I can.

- Is there an unwritten code of ethics that PUAs follow in their relations with women?
Yeah, don’t mess with another guy’s girl. Women are everywhere; don’t screw with friendships over a girl. That rule is pretty standard everywhere, but sometimes it isn’t always easy. Women can definitely be the true predators especially when they are looking for revenge or have just selected you as the most attractive man they’ve met (currently) and can’t help themselves. I’ve fallen in that trap before. I don’t regret it because I learned a ton from it (saved me a few times since), but it can definitely make your life hard if you don’t have your wits about you. You have to know and believe that women are abundant. Guys that aren’t used to women liking them jump on that like flies to shit…. And they pay that price later.

Nathan ATX Crew Mimosa Sundays (R. feeding our precious child ‘Timmy’)

- What is inner game? Do most PUAs focus on both inner and outer game?
It’s all the same to me. Your perception of yourself is what you are projecting onto women and people in general. Who are you? Who do you in your gut see yourself really as? A man with women and friends in their lives or some keyboard jockey that never leaves their couch. Focus on that vision and work toward it. That’s whom you’re meant to be. Quit failing your inner path and who you know you were put on this planet to be. If not you are FAILING yourself and your destiny of who you know you should be. I call it my midlife crisis prevention program.

- How has the community helped improve you personally in terms of inner game?
I am the most fulfilled and happiest I’ve ever been. I feel solid inside. Unshakable reality of who I am. I’ve lost that fear of where I’m going, what I’m doing, and what’s in the end for me. I’ve found my life purpose.


- There’s a wide array of material out there – what literature helped with your inner development? What ideas and theories have influenced you?
Too many to count. I’ve been a lifelong student of myself and the world around me. Some that stick out at this moment were big realizations from college at The University of Texas-Austin—the pursuit of truth for myself and the world, ‘The Alchemist’ in having a core belief in my life’s purpose, spirituality from eastern philosophy like Bruce Lee, being an life adventurer like Ernest Hemingway, Wayne Dyer (thank you PBS), and of course Ayn Rand’s objectivist philosophy, which lacks in some things (as a mater of fact she HATED mysticism), but was spot on when it came to men following their core purpose and not “sweating the small stuff”. Ironically she was a woman teaching men how to be men and now many of us men are teaching women about how to be fulfilled women. Btw, Ayn Rand was also one of the main catalysts for the feminist movements that may have been the genesis of this male movement

- What kinds of life experiences are important in developing inner game?
Creating ‘No way out’ situations in your life really helps. Otherwise it’s experiencing life without fear of the consequences. Not being afraid to make mistakes. As T.S. Elliot describes in his poem “Lovesong of J Alfred Prufrock” which purveys massive social anxiety and fears of making mistakes, “dare I eat a peach”. In the end, you have to say, “I don’t give a fuck about what anybody thinks of me” and force yourself to grow. Even if a situation spells doom from the outside, having the strength and courage to follow what you know is right will always have a positive outcome. Even if you hurt initially from it, you grow stronger and make better and better choices as you grow. It also creates depth and wisdom—people know the difference between a fake poseur and the real deal (I’m surrounded by them in this ‘community’). The self if always coming through as Freud said.

Something I learned a few years ago was that sometimes all the “TIPS, TIPS, and more TIPS” in the world will never give you the answers you are looking for. The answers you need are actually more in the form of questions. There is no magic pill to you that someone can wave their hand and fix. Be your own guru. Now, what self do you want to be seen coming through when your 30, 40, 50, or 60? It all begins in the choices you make today. Like the book, “The Picture of Dorian Gray” you can only put up a front too long, your true self is on the inside and will always shine through.

- RSD in particular seems to advocate a rebellion against mediocrity. What is it that you think men should strive for in their lives?
Personally, I believe it’s emotional and intellectual freedom through truth. Joy. Abundance. To live LIFE as it’s meant to be lived—how you believe it should be lived. No fears and never compromise your vision of whom you’re meant to be.

Thanks guys and videos to come.

Keep it precious,

15 Comments | 18,046 Views
Surrealism;43683 wrote:
I've been trying out some new techniques spurred from something cool I read on Tyler's blog that I wanted to try...let me know what you think:
-Tyler said on his blog that he would ask a girl "on a scale of 1-10, what is my friend?" In order to get the girl to approve of his friend and in-turn, get his friend laid...

I like this...but I actually have changed it slightly, and have been using it as more of a early qualification technique...
Allow me to clarify this concept... not that what you're doing anything wrong. It's awesome you're qualifying and being innovative. Remember, if you're not qualifying them, they're qualifying you. Here it goes:

The concept Tyler was talking about in his blog is a favorite in my playbook: value elicitation (Though he's using it differently as an opener, I believe that the most powerful and exacting time to use this is while in isolation and "comfort"-it's devastating. I don't think I would use this as an opener, but if I were to say something like this during a conversation, I would more likely ask to rate my friend's 'husband material' quality if I saw they had a vibe. To a girl it's funnier, more emotionally relevant, and IMO you are eliciting more accurate values you want her to express). I believe I talk about it to an extent in older posts from former hook ups.

Anyway, the concept at play is having her illicit her values. Pretty amazing stuff. After a girl elicits her values (it’s like an emotional compliance level), it subsequently emotionally forces her to search and identify those values with you. In other words, she's the one selling herself on you. It's your choice which values you want to express (ONS, FB, GF, husband material, etc.)

I know other “gurus” have talked about eliciting values, but I've taken this to whole new level from what I've seen. The next level, synthesizing a few PU concepts, is me eliciting my values while simultaneously leading and qualifying her on them. I consider this a significant piece of my "game" (which I won’t go into now). This ain’t no child’s play.

Here's an example of a simple mutual value elicitation (the majority of my qualifying and obvious leading has already been laid out in the conversational part):
I came up with this during a hook up in February with a gorgeous (solid '9') 20 yr old medical student from Holland while flying back from Rio, Brazil. She had just had the "time of her life" frolicking on some secluded beach with her boyfriend (who visited her from Holland) and was "in love".

Anal Sex

(WARNING: This is almost evil how devastating this is. I am a bad man. Since this has evolved, I only use this for "putting the final nail in the coffin" and speeding things up with girls I see myself pursuing for more than one night. Otherwise, it's just plain evil to give these girls these emotions and ditch her.)

During some amazing conversation lasting some 2+ solid hours into the flight, I ask Holland girl:

Me: Can you take a sincere compliment?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Me too. You first.

(I adapted Papa's old school sincere compliment opener and evolved it into my eliciting values model. Though I've never used this as an "opener" before, it just came to me. I was already leading the conversation, but my intuition told me I needed her to emotionally escalate more and faster)

This is powerful in a conversational dynamic. Every time I've said this, I've consistently been told the most amazing genuine compliments I've ever heard in my LIFE. Practice this after you know a girl likes you. After Holland girl gave me my compliment, I was so devastatingly impressed, that even 'I' was blushing. I liked this because it differentiated her from other girls and made me like her MORE. It was like she opened up her soul (gay) to tell me all the deeper emotions that she genuinely loved about my personality in a way nobody has EVER told me. Wow. She aimed to impress and she did. Again, note that I led her to express herself without judgment.

After this, I honestly told her how I was stunned by her comments (now, I'm an alpha dude so you can see the contrast-she’s earning me and doing a great job of breaking me down). She then asked me for her compliment, to which I replied that I've never been good at giving compliments (true) and don't think I could ever come close to the one she gave me.

In turn, I proceed to compliment her based on the positive values that she’s already expressed in our conversation leading up to this point. Being a compliment, I tell her how much I genuinely admire and like those values and give examples of why (i.e. I'm eliciting my values through the positive things I like about her-technically, I've been eliciting my values from the moment I sat next to her). Incidentally, Holland girl told me that I gave her the best compliment she's ever received.

So, within three hours of meeting on the plane, I've led the interaction to such a strong emotional connection that she now feels we’re soul mates finally finding each other (I know exactly what’s going on). I am in the midst of an emotional frenzy and could tell this girl to do anything and she'd follow (btw, most people only hope to feel this once in their life—and then marry that person).

Now, I've said this in past posts, but maybe now you can see why I've said girls routinely fall in love with me once they are in my web. My comfort and connection "game" is pretty sick. Better than anyone I've ever known anyway (props to growing up with cool sisters). Hey, we all have strengths.

This FR fragment was only an example of a mutual value elicitation that happens when you create strong lasting bonds with people (btw, I also used the compliment bit to seal the deal with Playboy model). The real work though is during the conversation, which sets up my strong, yet sincere, leading frame and allows me to ask for a compliment. Additionally, the sincere compliment really wasn’t necessary except that I had a flight time-constraint and strong boyfriend LMR (we were already attracted to each other—I just needed to get her into a certain peak emotional state fast).

Be Passionate. Make me proud.

34 Comments | 24,704 Views
Easy Way, Hard Way

Response based on earlier articles in this series
Focus Quote
I don't know. I never really focused on that. I just focused on the experiences I wanted and let the rest take care of itself (btw, I voluntarily got off the parents payroll when I was 18). Now, that being said, I've had a lot of help from my sister, friends and strangers that would always seem to help when I needed a pick-me-up the most. It's funny, but people always say I've got amazing karma because I've gotten into some real jams and they ALWAYS work out great. Granted, I've never been destitute and I've always worked hard. I've worked REALLY hard. It didn't matter what job I did I always did it the best of my capability--which I normally mastered.

Here are some examples of some of my thought processes and how I got into things. I was in the Navy and NOBODY could believe it. I am as independent as it gets and people knew that and couldn't believe it. I did it on purpose. It was a challenge and not what people expected of me at all. Out of respect, I also didn't want my adoptive father supporting me for the next 5-6 years of college, (there's more of that meritocracy stuff that I believe in), which he would have done. I joined the Navy and I never really liked the ocean or boats. My family's legacy was always Army. The ocean, in its infinite power, kinda scared me. Yet, I became a diver. I would never do anything normal or average because it doesn't challenge me.

Later I became an investment banker. I've always sucked at math and disliked it with a passion, but it was a challenge and I wanted to master the art of investments and numbers. I did it, and did it at a top firm. I willed myself into these things and mastered what I focused on. It wasn't easy by any means, but I gained immeasurable skills and ability. I guess from living in Italy and studying the Renaissance, I always admired the Renaissance men that mastered many crafts. On top of it, I hate being told I can't do something or that it's not possible.
2002?: The Infamous Venice trip where we temporarily bought a boat just so we could get the fuck out of town (this was taken minutes after getting off a boat and sure ‘nuff had a beer waiting for me. I nice surprise… 24 hours prior I had flown from Madrid to Bologna, stowed away on a train, slept on bench in Padova, made a new awesome Italian friend and swapped stories at 4am over a bottle of Sherry, and then reached Venice with no idea how I’d find my buds. The above is when I found them)

Dual Picture Left : 2007: Valley girls = Very Nice
Right: 1995: High School. Unfortunately my mom didn’t appreciate the kegs as much as I did. Fuck it. I had a blast throwing parties

There were things that I accomplished that opened opportunities that I never would have had otherwise i.e. graduating from a top school, search and rescue in the Navy, etc. Life builds and connects itself in weird ways--there's no way I coulda planned at 20 for the way my life has gone. I always just stuck to a certain set of principles. To live my life free and aim for the impossible.

As for making things work out financially, I've never been more than 3 grand in debt (aside from the $3500 in college loans at 2.8% that never seemed to go away--regardless the interest was lower than inflation). I've always lived pretty comfortably and in some VERY pimp pads. To some degree I can be pretty damn extravagant (I hate cheap people and the way people can fuss over a few bucks-it can really seem like, to a degree, a waste of energy). I only buy top quality stuff, but I only buy things that I need or want and I take care of them. I am very much a minimalist. I've been forced that way, because I never know where my next opportunity may take me. I am always prepared to leave, if need be, at a moment’s notice.

While I was banking in Texas is when things probably got toughest for me. Near the end, when I was REALLY about to make a lot of money, I left. I was running MILLIONS of dollars in investments, but I didn't like where I was in life. At the time I had a house and a ton of furniture. I left it all in a matter of about a month and moved to Los Angeles after seeing Texas play Michigan in the Rose Bowl Game. While I was visiting, I was offered a job at MTV making comparably nothing and took it. All I brought with me were two loads of things that I could pack in my Jeep. I had recruiters banging on my door with lucrative job offers that I turned down. I rarely even listened or responded to them. My mind was made and my heart wasn't in it anymore. It took a ton of courage, but I knew I was done with that chapter in my life.

I can say or write all I want-I've told people similar things my entire life-but you will only understand this if you are bold enough to do things for yourself. Do what interests, excites, challenges, and scares you--always. Only you can figure this stuff out for yourself.

Flawless NYC
2008: Flawless Natural SuperConference, NYC
While I'm on it, I should say that I hardly plan for shit in the short term and always go with my gut. Last October, after spending 3 weeks with my near-death grandmother in a hospital in Iowa, on a moment’s notice I flew back to LA and 4 days later I was in Europe for 3 weeks. I did it based on a feeling that I had and felt I had to do it. I loved every moment (minus how cold London was) and looking back I see how important it was for me to do that at that time. It changed my life and I learned some really important lessons--it all happened because I followed my gut.

Simply put, my life has been about relentlessly curiosity, non-stop education, and finding truth. Tthen having the courage to take action on it.

And I don't think there's a person out there who could look at my life and not say I've lived a massively successful and fascinating life. Keep on it. Even asking questions show that you are on the path to finding the answers to evolve. Be relentless and have patience. Above all, stay positive and have faith.

To be Continued…

Live with Passion. Make yourself proud. Challenge and have faith in your life you’re meant to live.


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Changed Priorities Ahead

Response based on Part 1 of this series and the things I've experienced in my life:
I could write a book, or at least a blog, on almost all of those experiences. There are a lot of things I've done and seen that I still could add.

Here's more: I've fought 3 fires as a fireman, how I was forced into alcohol rehab twice when I was 20 (Failed the first time because I didn't take it seriously enough for the Navy), been forced to testify before a grand jury, was an analyst at a top 5 wallstreet firm, had a higher than top secret clearance, hooked up with girls in at least a dozen countries, I've recently been considering training, with the help from my Olympian friend, to qualify for the next winter Olympics, was president of my school (charisma goes a looong way is what I'd call that story..haha), met congressmen, played 5 seasons of soccer and 4 seasons of baseball in Italy, the story from after tearing two muscles playing soccer in Madrid and kept playing- I was treated by the medical doctor for Real Madrid soccer team (good story of not quitting for ANYTHING), meeting Willie Nelson on stage at Luckenbach (a true poet, idol, and outlaw), I once saw my roommate (his father was in President Bush’s cabinet) get kicked in the face AND OFF A BOAT by a bouncer in Spain, my friend who was a drug dealer in the Italian mafia and his stories (fucking crazy!), the time I almost saw a public beheading (thank god I didn’t), the time I passed out in a public bathroom in Amsterdam (one of the grossest and luckiest stories in my life), when our personal driver took us to a Santo Domingo brothel in the Dominican Republic (Ozzie hates that story), I could write a series just on Hollywood, was courted to play D2 college football even though I only played my junior year, toured the slums of Rio de Janeiro and witnessed kids with submachine guns, temporarily buying a boat in Venice on a whim because the city went on strike, hooking up with a girl-who spoke no English-in Florence by telling her "I'm from Texas like the TV show Dallas", helped rewrite a US Navy tactical manual (based on my unique SAR rescue), the time after high school my friends and I drank 21 kegs of beer in under 6 days and the only food I remembered eating the whole time were 3 sandwiches and some Doritos, doing improv in Hollywood's UCB, had glass tables thrown over my head, been beaten up by a gang (a couple times-in hind sight I probably provoked them smile), and how insomnia and an over-active imagination has robbed me of years of my life (ala TD from Fight Club).

After I told Tyler about my struggles to write the great American novel lately, I've seriously been working on getting in the groove of doing it more regularly by posting. That and he said he learns a lot from my writing.
San Sebastian
2002: The boat in San Sabastian, Spain where my friend and roommate
(and son of George W. Bush’s cabinet member) was kicked off

Baja 500
2005: "Team Kawasaki" Pit crew, Baja 500 Mexico. Incidentally, my team was Canadian

Setting Goals
I thought I was finished, but I feel I have to talk about motivation because it's so close to what I've said. Call it the practicality part. Whatever. This may be a shock to some people, particularly to people that love him, but I'm not a big fan of Tony Robbins or anybody that tells you how you should do things, UNLESS you use them as a vehicle to realize your own abilities and core intrinsic motivations. Sometimes people just need permission to do what they already know. Being whom you're meant to be is about BEING your own Guru. Not following other people's paths, though it may make them a lot of money.

As I said before in earlier articles in this series, I believe EVERY question you have in life can be answered in yourself. You just need the courage and strength to follow what you already know. That being said, time is sooo precious in my life. Time flies by so fast. I would, and always have, set daily and long-term goals. For some reason, it brings clarity to your smaller purposes. It gives you permission and reason to do different things. I always set goals, but I think it should be said that I keep a strict-loose like perception of them. Particularly my daily goals. I don't kill myself if I don't get to things. Oh well. I will though. You cannot always plan for the things that need extra thought or time. For example, I find it hard to rush creativity and frequently run over time when writing.

Recognize Greatness and Find Inspiration in Man:
I find inspiration in my family. My grandfather is one of the most amazing people I have ever known. Truly an idol. He came from a small farming town, super poor as 1 of 16 children (many of them died before the age of 18), he often slept in ditches, and never graduated high school because he had to work.

My grandfather went on to fight in WWII on the small South Pacific Island of Tonga, hitch hiked all around the country from town to town (Jack Kerouc style) including old school California, was a gold prospector in Montana, was a great mechanic, built his own-and many other- houses, sang country western music across the West, and experienced tons of amazing adventures. Later, my grandfather recieved his GED, taught himself college algebra, trig, and calculus and climbed to the top of an american engineering corporation.

The best part is that EVERYBODY loves my grandfather. I saw this growing up, it particularly resonated with me when I lived in Italy, he would, and still does at 89yrs, just talk to everybody. People are infected by his amazing stories and friendliness (definitely a Casanova from the stories). Additionally, one of the things I'm most proud was that he grew up when America was highly segregated and my grandfather was intelligent to know people as people. He admits to the times when people just said things like, "that's mighty white of you". He got it and changed with the times when people weren't so easy to let go of the past.

Contrarily, many people, even in other parts of my extended family, see the hard and poor upbringing as one of shame and embarrassment. Where's your perspective on the people in your life?
Early 80’s: My other grandfather on our family farm in Iowa

Another inspiration I had in my young life was my adoptive Chinese father. His story is that grew up dirt poor and the son of immigrants. In the 1930's all of his siblings born before him had to be left in their country and were sent money. Growing up he and my grandparents were continuously hated just for theirs race and threatened by the US government to be deported even though he was born a citizen in the US.

Growing up in the streets of Queens New York, he was dirt poor and suffered from rickets because of malnutrition. But in the back of his parents single room laundry cleaning store, he studied on a 3 legged desk that my grandfather had pulled out of a dumpster. He went on to get a scholarship to one of the, and still, highest rated and competitive high schools in the country. From there he attended the Ivy League's Columbia University and on to medical school (he was rejected from Harvard Medical school because at the time Harvard had an allotment of only one Asian per year--to this day he still knows the guy who was accepted over him). He just retired as one of the most respected, most senior, and most decorated officers in the military. Yes, he also served in Vietnam.

So, in respects to my life, I see it as that there is very little that I could ever do that could compare to either what my adoptive father or grandfather achieved. No matter how hard life can possibly get, it would be NOTHING compared to what they endured and accomplished. There are no excuses for not succeeding; they did. Out of respect for my adoptive father, I left at the age of 18 to stake my claim and do it ALL ON MY OWN. No excuses. This is where I come from and, yes, I grew up always believing in meritocracy. Have balls and just do what you know you need to

Earn this. Earn Your Life. Saving Private Ryan

To Be Continued…

Live with Passion. Make yourself proud. Earn your life.


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1998: Fighting in the Middle East

EXAMPLE 2: This one is a little more subjective on whom you see yourself as:
SITUATION: You are at a bar with a buddy and three girls are standing next to the bar.

REALITY: You’re single and would love to talk to those girls at the bar. The girls aren’t really having any earth changing conversation.

MIND FUCK: Well, they look like they’re having a good conversation with each other. They might give me an ugly/mean face and I’m not even wearing my favorite cool shirt. I’ll just try and talk to them later after this beer. Hopefully, we’ll be forced to talk to each other somehow.

ANSWER: Be whom you’re meant to be. In how I see myself as how I should be, I see myself with women, I am meant to get phone numbers, I make out with a girl if it’s right, having a conversation with a woman isn’t a big deal, and people think I’m an awesome person. I am not a cowering person. This is whom I’m meant to be and I’ve got no choice but to talk to those girls or I’m failing me and my God given purpose on this Earth. I listen to my gut because it does not fail me. My gut is trying to show me my path and what I need to do. Inside I know it’s the right thing to do. If, for some reason, that these girls don’t become part of my life then they weren’t meant or fit into my path at that time-maybe some other time, though. No worries, my gut will tell me that too. It doesn’t bother me, because I’m still moving with my purpose and intent of whom I’m meant to be.

Follow your gut and approach.

2006: She literally asked me to post this for you guys. Notice the shit room I
had in Hollywood without even
light switch covers

SITUATION: I had spent 24 straight hours with the hottest and coolest girl I’d ever seen or met just vibing, fucking, and truly connecting with her. The next day after some of the glow had worn off; I was dealing with future expectations. I kinda mind fucked myself for a little while and it clouded my judgment. (Fuck, I’ve never asked for advice from anybody about girls in my life and I even called Tyler. Thank God he was driving in some mountain range in Hawaii and lost signal.)

REALITY: I knew she loved me and had never met somebody like me before. I gave her one of the best experiences in her life.

MIND FUCK: No matter that I knew she loved me, I still didn't know if my own self worth was enough to live up to a celebrity that every man creams his pants over, millionaires threw money at, and her current live-in doctor boyfriend (that she disqualified a 100 times--now I know better). I literally wasted hours with this mind cloud of how to act or be. Shit guys, don't ever say I'm not completely honest--I never have anything to hide from anyone.

ANSWER: Be whom I am meant to be. It doesn't matter what she thinks. I am living my life and it's not changing for her or anybody. I don't have to change for shit. She can be a part of my life and accept me if she wants or not. No matter what I'll be fine. Completely indifferent. She loved me for what I was and nothing's changed. I have my own path to worry about than to worry about if mine fits in hers.

ACTION: Follow my gut. Just call her and be cool.

As it turned out for me after calling her, she felt the same way. I still remember the slight cracks of nervousness in her voice. That's what happens when YOU’RE the true ten. She was scared to death about what I thought of her the day after.

Conclusion... for now. (One day I'll write about faith in yourself and how you can find the source of strength in knowing whom you are meant to be)
I coulda just said, ‘don’t be a pussy’, but a lot of people just don’t ‘get’ or understand that one. Regardless, I’m proud and happy for making this realization and hope people truly follow it. In a way, it’s a summation of a lifetime of wisdom derived from common sense, research, study, observation, tons of hard knocks and success, and general experience. If you follow it, it WILL change your life and how you make decisions in your life. It gives you the structure and know-how of how to be a man and truly live by your own decisions. Granted, most of the work is on YOU, though. It really is as simple as that. There's beauty in simplicity. It's just not always easy to face yourself.

Tree of Life
1996: The Tree of Life. Middle East. In the middle of a desolate desert free from
any known water, this tree has grown for over 400 of years

My advice to AlaskaDan on finding your path in the Military:
Alaskadan, if you’re still interested in the Navy, as the most independent person I know, the Navy was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I was Search and Rescue, highly decorated, and massively qualified so I had it better (not easier), but I still got into a lot of trouble. It's a fucking hard hard hard life, man. It was a good thing I was also a 'golden child' to save me from actually serving much of the 'penance' I deserved for all the shit I did. Fuck them if they can’t take a joke.

CONS: There were periods of times that I didn't sleep for months more than 4 hours, back breaking work rigging mine sweeps at 3 in the morning, sometimes 12 hours of watch a day in 150 degree heat index--every 3 days, weeks without even seeing a woman, living in the middle east for a year, chipping paint, painting walls, shining brass, cleaning urinals, dealing with TOTAL retards (seriously, they were only one chromosome away), curfews, civilian people just hating you for being in the Navy, and stinky bastards that sleep 3 feet away from you, seeing dead people, listening to jerk offs who think they know what the fuck they’re talking about when they refer to the military and what it's like (because they saw a movie or read about it once, probably), and lastly, nobody outside will ever understand or appreciate what you go through. It's nearly a solitary experience and nobody, but your fellow vets, will ever understand. I dead part of your life that you remember well, but keep to yourself because who can relate? All this while you know your buddies back home are having the time of their lives (mine were anyway).

PROS: Lived in Bahrain for a year and hooked up with girls from around the world, drank a lot underage, my homies in the trenches with you!, people loving you for serving your country (people would just buy me shit at random stores if I was in uniform), the GI Bill helped pay for college, respect from people that you don’t even know, knowing you served something that was bigger than yourself, accomplishing shit you'd never do or have the chance to do otherwise, deep sea fishing, tying cool knots that you eventually forget, lots of time to sharpen your knives, and telling stories with other veterans because they are the only ones who can relate to your experiences.

Join the Army for real if you have a choice.

To be continued…

Live with Passion. Make yourself proud. Be whom you’re meant to be.

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