Matt281's Blog

How to Flirt with a Girl Over Text
Matt281 - Newbie Dating Series #6

Girl: "You''re not a real person"


Alright let's get right to it.

So you got a girl's number, or are hoping to, and you want to know what to text her. Cool.

But before we get to how to text, you've gotta get this into your head first, as it's probably the most important thing in this article:

What works well in texting depends almost entirely on your relationship (or lack thereof) with the girl.

Why should this matter to you? Because when you go look up funny things to text on the internet without much prior experience or understanding of the context, you're going to lose a lot of girls who might have otherwise liked you.

Say you send a typical funny line that's gained some popularity floating around the internet, such as:

"I'm making you my new txt girlfriend for the next 5 minutes"
(5 minutes later) "okay I'm breaking up with you. It's not you, it's me"

Some girls will think this is hilarious and play along. Others will think you're trying to hard. Still others will think you're a complete idiot.

Obviously it has some to do with the individual girl, but much moreso with the previously established dynamic between you to.

Texting is SECONDARY to your interactions in person. If the girl loves you already, you can text almost anything. If the girl is wondering why the hell she gave you her number, almost nothing will work. Good texting is a continuation of a good interaction between people who like each other, not a means to make a girl like you.


Now that we've got that out of the way, here's your top 10 tips for flirting over text.

1. Offer Value

Because you are the one taking the intitiative, you also need to take intiative to make something out of nothing. While it doesn't matter exactly what you text, texting something like "how's your day going?" offers nothing to the girl but someting she has to do: tell you how her day's going. This isn't fun for her, and she's much less likely to keep texting with you when it's more work than play.

2. Don't do more than you have to

Make things as simple as you can, but no simpler. Your goal is to get her out with you in person. If you need to be charming and funny to do that, do it, but remember to keep the end in mind. Sometimes "what are you doing tonight?" is all you need.

3. Randomness is the best strategy

There's dozens of theories on when to text a girl, how long to wait to respond and so on. In my experience, nothing works better than having other cool shit going on in your life and getting back to her when it's convenient.

4. Keep it short

Brevity is the soul of wit. Almost anything you need to txt a girl can be done in 2 or 3 sentences.

5. Lead

You pick what you guys do, when and where. Her only input will usually be "yeah I'm free then" and "sure that sounds fun".

6. Be Patient

Sometimes girls will wait all day to text back. Sometimes they won't text back at all. Relax. Think about something else. Go find something to do with yourself.

7. Live an interesting life

This may seem out of place, but it's incredibly helpful for good texting. If you're always out doing things, interesting things will always be happening around you and you have endless content for texting.

8. Send pictures

Sometimes nothing is funnier or more interesting than a good picture. A few months ago I found a duck sitting in my parking spot. Boom, content.

9. Experiment

Just like talking with girls in general, you need to try enough things to see what works and what doesn't. You'll most likely lose some girls who were interested because of bad texting. Take it in stride and learn from it.

10. Break the Rules

Rules are there to be broken. The last 9 points are great training wheels and apply most of the time. But there are times when they don't apply. (No, not when you really really care about a girl and want to tell her how you feel.)

Putting it All Together

While you want to take all this stuff into account, the main takeaway here is that you need to have better interactions in person, rather than trying to charm girls through text. If a girl really likes you in person, almost anything will work over text. You may not even need to flirt with her. If a girl doesn't, no amount of genius texting will change her mind.

Read the other articles on this blog and look at some of the other content on this site. If you become an attractive guy in general, texting with often take care of itself.

Login or register to post.

Related Posts




Senior Member

Join Date: 05/11/2013 | Posts: 173

 Great article :)
Login or register to post.


Junior Member

Join Date: 07/25/2013 | Posts: 14

im planing to aply this...  ;)
Login or register to post.

bill bellamy


Join Date: 01/25/2013 | Posts: 37

sending pics is money!!
Login or register to post.


Junior Member

Join Date: 12/18/2013 | Posts: 13

Nice summation of texting advice tips thanks! This is very helpful as i can get girls no.s but have had a hard time following up texting.

Also a quick question: is it better to text a girl the next day or to call her up? I've read some things saying that it's better to call the girl because you can't access her emotions easily enough via text.
Login or register to post.


Junior Member

Join Date: 12/20/2013 | Posts: 3

Thanks for sharing, but also good
Login or register to post.



Join Date: 07/06/2013 | Posts: 66

I like how you set up a sort of role play with this text reframe. I usually am looking at a text logically and just seeing it as she is bored and I probably send back a text just as boring. But I like this idea!
Login or register to post.