I am

Matrim
 


I have been doing some finishing touches, and it has truly become something really solid. It get's tested in a really tuff way. I mean, this situation as it is, with what has happened, and with the people I have had to get used to hang out with. It is something really solid. It's so important, (Christ follow the spiral the whole way) to understand Jesus command from the cross, from the 3 angel's, the witness, Jesus and God. 

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Matrim
 
Further down on developing means of being unaffected. I found a new way of pushing out people who wish to be on an influencing mood against you/me.


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Matrim
 


As things get's better defined what is in the core of my being. Seem's as my character is being under attack to prove me to not be a good rolemodel.  I keep coming back from the ashes either how...
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Matrim
 


A precens of evil have started to grow around me. My big brother don't like me standing by God.
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Matrim
 


The west must win this race.
Or else, terminator genisis... alsmost.

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Matrim
 
Hi, I have not had sex in 2 years by choice of commitment, but with that come's the curse. You forget how sex is and feel's like. I walk among half naked people, i feel unconfterble around the adult... Children, hey I remember how it was when I was at the beach that age. Floting toy's are the best, and I want to learn how to swim...  I have commited my self to my work to much, and to take my personal battle that take's this of me.

But I know how to do that now. With my program come's the obligation of not breaking wow's made under god. Married women come's on to me, I belive any how... Maybe I am just a horn dog for the moment. It's the season of lust and the unhabit of feeling it during winter.
Pressure of being a good rolemodel kill's lust.


Turn to jesus But I found a better thing, turn to the pressure of being a good role model.
Still I will drive a harly davidson and join the harly davidson club.
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Matrim
 
There is a big need for better produced video material on swedish soldier in some type of training or action because I know that it is in there, it will help reqruiting more. There Sweden my stand for you.

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Matrim
 
I love how you portrait that the lack of self love come's from hating your own dick.... They might as well shop it off then... Like be okay with you are, and love your self, and don't stick your dick in women your not like because you want to look cool, and don't jump out of windows without knowing you will land safe.


I on the other hand have troubles of the temptation of not licking my own genitals as it keeps hitting me in the face as I jerk off.


But, you got to love yourself still.

I finally ready for the big world I think....
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Matrim
 
A huge loss of patience has come to me, in what I have been dealing with. But this inclination is done... So there is nothing more to this from here, I am just so fucking pevved right now. Well, the program is done, it has been set so nothing will get this from not spreading on to this earth. As with Jesus who's social and religiose system came to be after his death, so will mine.

So there is no stress any more.
I have found myself, deleting all the memories' connecting with any type of abuse. I find myself with very little left, but with all the new that has come with it, it does not matter. 


*Still I remember those who made things worth going on. 
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Matrim
 
Yep, that is how far I have come in to my process now. I now can cut my blood tie's more easy than forcing myself to live in a dissolution state on the street's of Sthlm telling people that I am adult orphan, there for removing the need of having to wait for the "real"; peer's to die before moving to the next stage of development in life.... Awesome right? and as I just used the tool, i feel sanity coming back to me.

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